Tuesday, April 29, 2008


I find it hilarious that I once had a reader that STOPPED reading because I was doing PPP. She went (on her own blog, which is how I knew, because I would read hers, too) and called me a sell-out and commercial and went on to say that no one wants to read someone getting paid to talk about things because it wasn't genuine.

I had asked you guys if it bothered you that I was doing a few ads to make some extra money, and the majority of you didn't have a problem.

I kept her on my sidebar (I don't know why…) and I actually checked in on her recently…

Guess who's doing ads?

Yep, same person who bitched and complained about my commercial-ness…

Like I said, I find it hilarious.

I won't say anything bad. I hadn't checked in on her blog in a long time so I don't know what happened to make her have to do paid entries, but here's what I have to say:


I won't say you're a sell-out, I won't say no one wants to read you anymore.
I UNDERSTAND….being broke is GENUINE.

I haven't done paid ads in a long time, not because I don't have to, because that extra money helps out A LOT…mainly because my job has a block on the pages I use for my ads. Yep, that's why. If not, you would still see some ads sprinkled in here.

Oh, and I got rid of my home computer. It was a junker and was on it's last legs…so now I'm solely depending on my work pc for e-mails and other things internet.

That's all I had to say about that…


Friday, April 25, 2008

Friday Funny

Daddy was in the bathroom brushing his teeth while I went in to ask him a question.  He gave me the muffled "mmhmmm" answer I was looking for and I watched for a moment as he brushed his tongue.

"You would have made a great gay man, you know."

He gave me a puzzled look. "Mmm?"

"It doesn't look like you have a gag reflex…"


Yeah, I got pushed out of the bathroom.


Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Leaving on a jet plane...

Today my mother boards a plane to beautiful, sunny, vacation-esque Puerto Rico. I wait for her call tonight with a heavy heart, knowing that while many years ago we used to board that plane with beaches and coconut drinks on our minds, my mother is going to watch her sister die.

My fingers sit on this keyboard and I can't even think of any words to say…

Her flight will be seven hours long, a trip that usually takes three hours from here, but there are two layovers. One is in Newark, where another one of my aunts will be joining my mother on the plane.

They are the last two to join the bunch already there…except of course for the one aunt that LEFT the island on a vacation…


I went to my mother's house last night so she could see the babies before she left, and I wanted to cry because I saw the way she hugged them a little longer. She too knows that someday everyone will have to make this trip for her…"when you get older it's what you think about." She said to me. I think about it now…I wanted to say to her. But I just nodded.


She will be back in two weeks. By then I imagine that they would have already cremated my aunt (her wishes) and my mother will return to her normal routine, minus the daily phone calls to her dear sister. The phone calls actually stopped once they put her into the coma…but now there won't even be the 'checking in' phone calls to the hospital…


My mother says it would be better for her to pass on already instead of be in this pain, she says it's better for her to watch us from the sky instead of through the haze she sees everyone through now. What a great way to see things…but who wants to let anyone go, really?

Friday, April 18, 2008

*shaking my head*

No matter how hard you pray…

It was our friend in the accident. He got T-boned by a Scion TC at an intersection who ran a red light. He got banged up pretty bad, his car went into a pole, he hit the steering wheel. His face looks like he got into a scrapping match with Mike Tyson and he lost one if his front teeth. He can't even stand up right now, the docs are not letting him go home until the swelling goes down on his legs to see if he has any damage because the X-Rays are coming up inconclusive.

The car, obviously, is totaled, but he is ALIVE.






Thursday, April 17, 2008


You know when someone calls you and you get this shiver down your spine? Because they tell you something so horrendous, but you can't do anything about it?
Well, Daddy and I just got a phonecall like that.
One of our friends has a very distinct car...and another friend says he saw that car on a tow truck smashed up pretty bad...
and our buddy isn't picking up his phone which is weird...
I'm pulling a stalker move during my lunch break and driving by his house...hoping to see his car there, parked and fine. If it isn't there....
God, just let it be there.

Bitchiness and a concern

Am I a mega-bitch for deliberately sending my son to my mother's house last Saturday – for the day- when I knew that there was a birthday party at the Selfish Bitch's house upstairs?

Am I a super mega bitch for wanting to send my daughter, too? I didn't send her because then it would have been too obvious since Daddy and I had no where to go… but my mother took Little Man to see the Horton movie and kept him with her all day long. So OOPS! He missed the party…what a shame.

Yes, I did it on purpose. I didn't want to start a fight so I didn't flat out tell Daddy that I didn't want my kids to go, but he knew. I'm sure he has an idea that I sent Little Man away on purpose, but he isn't saying anything. Besides, I would deny it.

My MIL called me when she didn't see Little Man and asked me but I told her that he and my mother had this date set for weeks (it was more like hours!) and she was upset because she doesn't get to see the kids often. I felt bad but I didn't regret my decision. If I could keep my kids away from that bitch permanently…well, I'd be happy. I don't want her pettiness and bitchiness rubbing off on my children.


Here's a kicker- my daughter is eleven months old tomorrow, and she doesn't have any teeth. Not a one. Don't get me wrong, she has gone through months of 'teething' where she gets swollen and her mouth bothers her and she drools and chews on everything, but it stops and no teeth have come out. Has anyone been through this? My son popped his first teeth out at 4 months…so I don't know what the hell is going on. Her year old well visit is next month and if she hasn't sprung anything yet, I'm going to see what the doc says. My sister (dental hygienist) tells me not to worry, but I still am. Any thoughts?


Monday, April 14, 2008


Do links work when transferred from e-mail???
Let's see......


My sister and I are buying my mother's plane ticket this week…

I went to my mother's house yesterday and she was already getting huffy & puffy with another of her sisters, one she didn't grow up with and had almost no communication with until she was about 30 or so…well this sister, we'll call her Elder, since she is one of the eldest sisters of the bunch, well she refuses to go see my aunt in the hospital. She lives in Puerto Rico, maybe a half hour away but won't go. She says that no one went to go see her in the hospital when she had some operation done a few years back so she doesn't see why everyone is making such a big deal about this for the dying aunt.

Are you fucking kidding me? They have all but read her her last rights and your playing this game? Your operation was MINOR, you had no health risks AT ALL, the doctors and nurses did not tell your family to call everyone BECAUSE YOU WERE GOING TO DIE. You were not in a coma. You were not in COMPLETE KIDNEY FAILURE. You were not going in to HEART FAILURE. You were not depending solely on machines to keep you BREATHING long enough for your family to come to your bedside you FUCK.

I know that people deal with death and these situations differently, but seriously?


Elder has actually booked a vacation to NYC for this week and possibly next week, so if my aunt passes in that time (which is about 95% sure that she will) she will not be there. And obviously will not be there for the funeral…

Now my mother's all emotional about it and trying to keep peace among the rest of the sisters who are starting to get angry at Elder, which is stressing her out even more…

Fuck you, Death. Really.


Thursday, April 10, 2008

My birthday request

Despite the fact that I've been answering e-mails and phone calls all day about the impending death in our family…there was something I wanted to share that I was excited about.


They are coming to the racetrack we frequent in New Jersey practically every weekend of the summer. Coincidentally, they are coming the weekend right after my birthday in July, so I requested tickets to go see Pinks live for my birthday present. Daddy obviously has no problem fulfilling my birthday wish, as he is the one who got me addicted to the show anyway.

We don't know what cars will be there, but it will be exciting and I will hope to be able to post pictures of the event…hopefully I find my camera by then.

I'm hoping to be able to take Little Man…but we're not too sure about that yet…

Fucking Sucks.

She's not doing well at all, my aunt. The call has been made to all the brothers and sisters to book their flights ASAP. She doesn't have much time…

My mother called me last night in hysterics, that was really all I could get out of her…

This fucking sucks.

Wednesday, April 09, 2008

Mouth Filters...

There are certain things you don't say to a person. You can think them in your head all you want, but for them to come out of your mouth – in front of someone –noooooooooooo…..

Fire – as this woman will be called. Not because she was fired, because she wasn't, she totally gave her two weeks and finished them off. Her name will be Fire because she acted like one, single-handedly destroying things that were in her way. Intentional? A lot of people here think so. She had many enemies. There was actual cheering after she walked out the door last Friday.

Well, I worked with Fire three days a week, and I dreaded them. I work with two other people that I love, but Fire…oh my God.


Let me give you a quick story that happened just the day before Fire and I butted heads: Another co-worker and I were in the break room. She had heard me speaking Spanish to a client and commented on how she would have never in a million years have been able to understand what I was saying. I laughed. She asked me where I was from and I told her "Well, born in Puerto Rico, raised in NYC."  "Wow, that's funny because I don't pick up on any accents, New Yorkers usually have a distinct accent…" she said. "I learned very early on that in order to fit in, you have to speak clearly and with no accents, Spanish, NY or any other. I was taught to not let my self be distinguished by my accent." I said. Which is true, my mother went through- and still goes through a lot of shit because of her accent.

Nice enough conversation, right?


Well, the NEXT DAY Fire heard me speaking to a client, but I was speaking ENGLISH. "Where are you from?" She asked me. "New York." I said, I didn't feel like explaining anything at that moment. "No, which country?" I looked at her. "Here. My family is from Puerto Rico…" "That's what I thought, you have a very heavy Puertorican accent when you speak."

*Did you just hear tires screeching in your head?*

"I have a heavy accent? That's funny, I just had someone tell me that I had no accent."

I shut up. I was flooded with work I didn't want to chit-chat.

She waited a minute…then asked "Do people ever ask you if you're illegal?"

*more tires*

I looked at her and said "No, no one would ever dare ask someone else that kind of question."

I walked away from my work.


I spoke to another girl and asked her if she heard an accent when I speak, she laughed at me thinking I was joking. I told her the story. She suggested I go to HR. I shrugged. Daddy said the same thing. I shrugged again. The next day she gave her two week notice, so I didn't say a word. Why bother if she was leaving anyway, right?


It has actually become somewhat of a joke here now, if I say something to someone I excuse myself and say "I'm sorry if you can't understand me due to my heavy puertorican accent…" because I can laugh at it…but there are still certain things you JUST don't say…

Monday, April 07, 2008


Is it okay to talk abut an ex-co-worker, because they quit? Especially since she infuriated me so much that it took everything in me to not punch her in the eye? Twice?

Let's take a poll-

I have a story to tell- she finished off her last two weeks this past Friday- is it okay to talk about her?

Friday, April 04, 2008

The "D" word

No one wants to hear it, no one wants to go through it. But sometimes it is inevitable. (IT"S NOT ME AND DADDY!)

Our friends, S & K, whom I have written about here before, have come to the end of the rope. It saddens me, Daddy and I introduced them but we never thought they would end up married with a child. But they did…and now they are talking about drawing up the papers soon. S tells us that they have been having problems for a while (we knew that, it was obvious, really.) but he said that all of a sudden she came to him and said "It's over."

I feel for them.

They are both great people…


The plague is still lurking in my house. But at least it's only coming out of one end (the bottom end) for both kids. Food is going in and staying in, and that's what I care about. I did call the doctor yesterday since we hit the one week mark for the plague, and I was getting kind of worried. The RN told me that the plague was running strong this year, and sometimes the mushy butt stays fro up to two weeks. TWO WEEKS? Of mushy butt? Bleeecccchhhhhh… that's something to look forward to, really, I love the midnight bursts my daughter has been giving me, makes the room smell nice and….

Oh who am I kidding? PLAGUE- GET THEE OUT OF MY HOUSE!!!!


Today looks like it may be a slowish day, I'm hoping to sneak in some reads, I really miss you guys.



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