Watch this!

This is SoOOOOOO funny. Watch it if you have a few minutes!
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Crazy/Hip Blog-Mamas
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For all of you...

or both of you that read this blog...
Have a wonderful New Year. I wish you luck, health, and happiness in all you do. Be safe, and don't drink and drive...
Lots of Luv- Me.
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Crazy/Hip Blog-Mamas
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Remembering

I remember my first prenatal visit like it was yesterday. According to calculations, I was about 16 weeks at this visit. (Irregular period and lots of denial made it so late...) I went by myself, I didn't want Daddy there. I was sitting in the waiting room across from this Arabic couple who were very near the end. She was beautiful, clear dark complexion, perfect features, wearing simple black pants and a burgundy maternity shirt. Her hair was covered by a matching burgundy and black...I don't know what you call the cover... She had her hand on her belly the whole time she was sitting there, her husband was uncomfortably reading the Reader's Digest. He looked older than her by a number of years, some gray sprouting on his sideburns and mustache. I was wearing jeans and a T-shirt, couldn't even tell I was pregnant. At some point she and I caught eyes and she smiled at me. "One more week," she mouthed at me. I smiled my response. How excited she must be! In just a week she gets to hold her baby. I was happy for her. They called her name before mine, and she disappeared into the back. My name was called about five or ten minutes later, I was given a gown and the door was shut. I heard a scream from next door. Footsteps could be heard in the hallway, fast paced back and forth. "Get the other machine!" I heard someone call out. More running, tires squeaking as the screaming turned into sobs. My heart was racing, What the hell is going on? I thought. Doctors were being paged to room 6, I heard a man crying out in the hall. "NO! NO!NONONONO!" was what came from next door now, "FIND THE HEARTBEAT! FIND IT!" Tears were forming in my eyes, I knew this was the woman from the waiting room, I just knew it. God, no, why is this happening to her? I thought. "Call the hospital! Get the OR ready," I heard a nurse call out to another. I heard the wheels of a stretcher coming for her. She was still screaming NO! Her husband was still in the hall, I don't even think he was standing up. Some shuffling, I could hear the stretcher as it left through the back to a waiting ambulance. Then silence.
The nurse came into my room, stethiscope in hand apologized for being late. "Got kinda crazy in here just now," she said.
"It's okay," I said.
I was told to lay back, and open the gown. "We're going to listen for the heartbeat," she said.
Deep breath from me. Yeah, that just worked out really well for the woman next door.
She found Little man's heart beat in a matter of seconds, strong and hard. The sound made me cry, I was happy, it was finally real. But I was sad, too. Months ago this was her laying down, listening to her baby's heartbeat, feeling elated. So I cried for the new life forming itself inside me, and I cried for the life that was just lost. I left my doctor's office in a sort of daze, knowing that any time this could all end. No matter what you do, what you eat, how careful you are, it can all end just like that. She didn't know there was anything wrong, she was smiling at me in the waiting room. And it ended for her, just a week before she was supposed to hold her dear baby. That day she held her child, and I can't imagine what she felt, knowing her child will never know her. She won't be able to see it grow and walk and talk....
I still think about her. Every time I went to my appointments, I thought about her. When I gave birth to my Little Man i thought about her. I wonder if she ever tried again.
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Crazy/Hip Blog-Mamas
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Unfit mother- another tale.

I went through some shit yesterday that just about had me running out of the house to a mental hospital. Little Man walks like he's done it for years. He's been walking since he was nine months old. Last night when we came home, he decided he wasn't going to walk, but crawl on the living room floor that I had to sweep because of the goldfish he smashed up yesterday. So goldfish crumbs were all over him- which is normal. But I didn't want him on the floor, I wanted to sweep the stupid floor that I'm tired of sweeping and stupid Daddy was just sitting in his computer chair watching t.v.
"Little Man get off the floor."
Blank stare from Little Man.
"Get up."
He offers me a goldfish crumb.
I want to pull my hair out at this point because we just finished a scream-fest while changing his diaper due to a mysterious rash forming that stung him like hell when I wiped. So my nerves are just a little shot right about this point.
And I yelled.
At my son.
To get off the fucking floor.
Daddy finally pulls himself away from the television to get the crying child off the floor and cuddle him.
I run to my bedroom and slam the door.
I'm a horrible mother. He hates me. He never listens to me. If Daddy were to tell him to get off the floor he would have done it before Daddy even finished the sentence. Daddy and Little Man come into the room where Daddy proceeds to tell me not to yell at the baby because it won't make him listen to me.
"I say things to him in a normal voice and I get no response from him. It's like I'm an adult on Charlie Brown- Womp womp womp womp womp..."
Little Man gets put on the bed and I start to cry because my son will grow to hate me and will never listen to me and every one will look at me and say "She has no control over that child" and I will hate myself because I know it's true.
He used to listen to me. I don't know what it is, now he listens to everyone but me. When did I lose the control? Why does he feel he should behave for everyone but me? Why am I the one with the shit to deal with when he's an angel for them?
He has his days when he listens to me, just like he has his days where he sleeps in his own crib (which right now is every other day).
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Crazy/Hip Blog-Mamas
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Call an ambulance!

Seriously I think I almost experienced a heart attack. I walked into the Cumby's across the street making a bee-line for my dearest fountain soda dispenser, the supplier of my 32 oz. drug of choice. When I actually looked up, I saw him. The maintenance guy. Oh no! My machine broke! I can't have my 32 oz. Pepsi!!!! NOOOOOOO!!!! The blood rushed to my head, I could feel a burst of adrenaline come through my veins. (This is what caffeine does to you!) I got closer, and saw he was repairing the slushie machine next to the fountain soda machine. Whew! Giant sigh of relief. I poured my giant cup-o-sugar, and actually felt bad for anyone who was coming in to get a slushie. If they're addicted (they have a coke flavored slushie) the way I am to the fountian soda, then they will have the small heart palpitations I just had.
Oh well, I have my drink.
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Crazy/Hip Blog-Mamas
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I just couldn't do it.

Little Man didn't get his picture taken with Santa. I'm a horrible horrible mommy. The day before Christmas Eve was the day I hoped to get to the mall before Daddy got out of work. Except I called him to ask him how busy the mall was first, he told me he passed by the Santa line just a few minutes before and that the wait was going to be about two hours. I thought he was saying this just so I wouldn't go into the mall, but I passed by my sister's job before picking up the baby and three of her co-workers who had just come from the mall told me the same thing. Rats. Taking Little Man to a packed mall with lots of things to touch and destroy just to have him sit in a stroller for two+ hours was not my idea of fun. So I stole some of my sister's Christmas cookies and was on my way. Next day- had to work and go to the family's houses for dinner(s) so you already know that didn't go over well. At least I took his Christmas pictures, and for only $13 I might add. Yes, I took my lazy ass to Wal-mart and did them there since we were there buying diapers anyway. The photographer was great, kept him laughing. For his summer pictures he kept trying to get off the table, this time he didn't want to get off it. They don't come in till the 11th, and I can't wait to see them.
I'm tired, and I feel a migraine creeping up on me. I'm gonna have to run to the car and get my Excedrin before it blows my veins!
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Crazy/Hip Blog-Mamas
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What color are you?

YELLOW You are very perceptive and smart. You are clear and to the point and have a great sense of humor. You are always learning and searching for understanding. Find out your color at Quiz Me!

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Crazy/Hip Blog-Mamas
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More cleaning to worry about.

Daddy told me last night we should have New Year's at our house- which translates into "I've already told people to come over but now I'm suggesting it to you so you don't think I made plans without you." I don't want to have New Year's at our house. I hate having so many people there, I hate that I am going to have to stay up later than anyone cause I'm gonna be cleaning up after them. I don't know if he remembers that we have a small child, so it's not like we can have a party like we did a couple of years ago, where everyone is drinking and being all rowdy and no one had any "real" worries. Most of our friends have kids, but those aren't the people coming over. No, the ones that will be there are the ones with no kids who aren't going to have any consideration for my sleeping son. I don't want to be the party pooper, but I don't think I want to deal with that. Maybe if I can find some middle ground-
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Crazy/Hip Blog-Mamas
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He made out like a bandit-

Little Man got some good stuff from everyone. He got this from my sister, got another type of ride-on bike from my mother. I told them they each have to keep theirs at their house for when he goes over, because we already have a ride-on thingie at our house. He got clothes from SIL1, MIL, my mother and sister, and from a few friends. SIL2 got him a new pair of these which he is going to need soon because he is out-growing his current pair. Daddy and I got him a DVD of this guy and this guy. (Trying to get some other influences into his life rather than just that furry red guy who's name cannot be mentioned in his presence unless your ready to sing The Song for a while.) He loves Bear, we actually have a few of his videos. Thomas was Daddy's idea because he liked the train as a kid, so he thinks Little Man would like it. He does. Not as much as Bear, though. Still... We also got him two Sesame Street EDUCATIONAL toys, and he loves them. My mother got him a steering wheel that makes car noises and all types of other things, that one he didn't put down for a full hour. (I don't think I've ever mentioned my son shares my Daddy's obsession for cars.) I can't think of all the stuff he got, but it was a lot. Though no one thought to get him socks, which ironically he needs. (Everyone hates getting socks for Xmas don't they?)
Today I was putting one of his toys in his playroom and I realized how much stuff this kid actually has. OY! When we move it's going to be hard to find a place for all these toys. And to think we are going to go see a much smaller apartment this evening... (biting my lip in a pensive manner.)
I might still be getting my rings this week or next- he said he still wants to dress my finger. Though he keeps telling his friend that I'm going to put him in the poor house. Whatever. It's not my fault they sell your ring so much cheaper! I'll post pics of them when we get them cause I can't seem to find them on line. (Perhaps because they are now a sale item and God forbid anyone advertise those!)

Still having trouble with the stupid sidebar links. I was going to change my template, (actually still debating) but I like the one I chose! Again- if anyone can offer some assistance I'm all ears. (or eyes...whatever)
Alrighty then- I'm gone! I hope everyone had a great Holiday- unlike these poor folks, and these. I can only shake my head in disgust. What the hell is wrong with the world???
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Crazy/Hip Blog-Mamas
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?

What's up with Wal-mart? First the incident with the robbers and a four year old passer-by(Can't find the stupid link, it was here a few days ago) and now this, they are not going for good publicity here. "Come to Wal-mart, risk getting shot by robbers or cops!"
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Crazy/Hip Blog-Mamas
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Antoher Idiot to complain about-

On the desk when I came in was a pile of about 20 envelopes that had a sticky on the top one that read "Need stamps and need to get sent out"
Okay.
In this office the Bossman is the Holder of the Stamps, since he frequents this office more than mine. So I figure Gotta wait till someone with the key to the Bossman's office comes in-meaning the cleaning guy. Instead the Bossman comes in- apparently hasn't left for his trip, and I ask him for stamps which are promptly given to me. (He's a great boss, his employees are just stupid.)
Then later, I'm in need of something in our supply closet, which is locked so the hounds don't take stuff like envelopes and paper home with them. Lo and behold next to the key to the closet IS A ROLL OF STAMPS. She knew the stamps were there, I called her and asked her. Now the question is: IS IT REALLY THAT FUCKING HARD TO PUT A STAMP ON THESE ENVELOPES AND SEND THEM OUT????? Did it make her feel all big and mighty to write that down for me to do?
God, whatever I did in my past lives or as a child that I am being punished for here, please forgive me. I AM SORRY!
Seriously, I can't understand it.
I'm out- I've got two houses of good food to eat at...Gald not to have to work till Tuesday. And if they call me on monday that they changed their mind and are opening, I'm sooooo not answering my phone.
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Crazy/Hip Blog-Mamas
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Can you believe this?

I'm at work. Yes, my wonderful boss who let us go home at three yesterday, and is being nice enough to let us have Monday off, still decided to open the other office today. I work every other Saturday at the other office, rotating with the other girl...and here is why I'm upset-
Spanish people celebrate Christmas Eve. It's huge in our countries, a day like Thanksgiving, where the moms are in the kitchen preparing a meal to feed an army (which is to feed every person in the world coming by the house to eat and exchange gifts) the kids running around because they know that the aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents that are coming will let them open their gifts right away, just to see their reaction. When you're married and your in-laws live in the same state- that's TWO houses full of food and presents you have to visit. My mother is serving dinner at seven, his mother is serving dinner at three. I'm at work until one. That means I have to rush my ass out of here, go home, take another shower (because I didn't wake up early enough to wash my hair and be pretty) get dressed, dress the boy, make sure Daddy is not sitting in front of the t.v playing Need for Speed Most Wanted instead of helping me...
It's hectic. When I was a kid, we never left the house because my mother moved as far away possible from any family we had after her divorce. She was smart.
My boss left for a vacation. The other secretary (who is also Spanish) is probably relaxing at home taking her time doing things, and I'm here, sitting at the desk watching cobwebs collect on the phone because- SURPRISE! it hasn't rung ONCE! Yeah, I'm getting paid, but I DON"T CARE! I'd rather be home calmly getting myself ready for the afternoon.
We went Christmas shopping yesterday. Our first stop was Toy-R-Us. Now I'm going to have to ask myself why we bothered going there at all. The parking lot was full to capacity I had to park in East Bumblefuck. We walk into the store, running through our mental shopping list...for NOTHING. Why was the store open? There was nothing left on the shelves. Literally you would walk down the toy aisles and the shelves were collecting the same cobwebs my phone is collecting. We were out of there in five minutes. BUT not before buying a game of Ms. Pacman for ourselves. Oh yes, the classic Atari game made available to just plug into your t.v and enjoy hours of pellet eating. That's all we bought.
So we head over to trusty old Wal-mart. Can't go wrong with them, they always have something someone needs... So we got gifts for Little Daddy, Little Man, and our neice Little Princess. Everyone else can fuck off, we are poor. Our mothers told us not to get them gifts and we are actually listening. I still feel horrible about going empty-handed to either house so I'll probably make Daddy pick something up for them.
Upon leaving Wal-mart I noticed two cars eyeing me to see which way I was going so they could have my spot (I forgot to say what a good spot I found right near the door) and I turned to Daddy and said "Which one do you think will give me more money for my parking spot?" We laughed, the women in the cars must have thought we were nuts. I should have stuck around to see if they were going to fight for it.
So- no posting for me till Tuesday.
I'll probably be full of stories.
Again to all- Have a great one. Hug those you love extra tight this year.
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Crazy/Hip Blog-Mamas
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And now I'm off-

To all who may have accidently come here, or those who actually seeked-
I would like to wish you a Merry Christmas, Happy Hannukah, Happy Kwanzaa, whatever you celebrate.
Excuse my crankiness, it's hard to be into the season when you can't afford to buy presents for those you love.
As long as I get something for my Little Man, my angel, my life, the only reason I am alive today, I will be satisfied.
Now off I go to fight people for parking and the last Elmo on the shelf...
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Crazy/Hip Blog-Mamas
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Perhaps THIS will make you feel better...

...I should just bring my high school diploma and stand it up right next to my name plate. Maybe THEN you will realize that I have, indeed mastered the art of dialing numbers. Seriously, the guy from yesterday (You'll call me right? right? right?") Actually came into the office today "just in case anyone called or came in." GO THE FUCK HOME! Everyone is Christmas shopping! If you feel inadequate at home, go to the mall where the whole fucking world is right now and hand your card out to the distressed shoppers who are buying everything BUT a house as we speak!
He left a few minutes ago, asking me again to call him if anyone called.
Do you want me to call if if just anybody calls? When my mom calls to confirm tomorrow's dinner at her house, should I call you and let you know? When the annoying old lady looking for the doctor's office whose number is very similar to ours calls, should I call you? I mean, it is after all, SOME ONE CALLING!!!
I think he might have had some sort of muscle spasm when I told him my boss said to go home at three...
His thoughts: "How can he send her home early when I'M on the calendar? Doesn't he know someone might call at 3:05???"
Haven't had one phonecall today- oh except for the one where my boss called. (actually he sent the other secretary to call.)
Not even the fucking annoying chocolate-wanting asshole has called to check his voicemail! And that says something.
Just an hour and a half to go.
Then I can hope that Daddy doesn't get out of work till five so I can go to the mall and take Little Man's picture with Santa before having to pick him up. OH! The picture with Santa is going to go well...NOT! I went to visit my sister at work the other day and a Santa came in to say HI and Little Man freaked out! I mean Santa was just trying to shake Little Mna's hand, and the kid flew the three feet to me and hid behind my legs ready to break down in a fit of tears. So I already know that the Santa pic will be (as mine was at that age) Little Man fighting desperately to get off the strange man's lap. And I will laugh because I'm a horrible person that way.
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Crazy/Hip Blog-Mamas
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Procrastinator Extraordinaire!

Going Christmas shopping today, after work. I'm really only buying presents for my son, so I don't care. I don't know what to get Daddy, or if to get him anything at all because last night we had a fight and suddenly his money became HIS money. That came out of left field, and it pissed me off to no end because MY money has never been my money, it's always been our money. I've never said I wouldn't buy something because it was my money and the item in question wasn't for me. Never have I been selfish like that. And a few months ago when he was laid off, never did I complain about taking everything on...even though it left us broke and now we have NOTHING.
We were supposed to buy our wedding rings for eachother, because we don't have any yet. But i guess that's going to hell. We had these really nice ones picked out, white gold, not gaudy. I'll leave my finger naked, who gives a shit. I hate Christmas.
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Crazy/Hip Blog-Mamas
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Are you seriously THAT stupid?

I work with people who don't frequent the office much. They are real estate agents, always running from one appointment to another, showing a house, closing a deal...what ever else they do. Some just work out of the home. They are the smart ones. To keep things fair, we have a calendar rotation for the month for any walk-in's that would happen to come by. The person- on their day- will get every customer, unless they want to give 'em to someone else. One agent, who hates his wife and is in this office more than I am is on the calendar tomorrow. He comes to my desk and seriously asks me "So you'll call my cell phone if anyone walks in tomorrow? I mean- I'm on the calendar, so you'll call? will you call me?"
Blank stare. No, asshole. I won't call you if anyone comes in, even if it's a person with a briefcase full of cash saying they want to buy the most expensive house on the East Side. And your messages? Well, they will be crumpled up and thrown in the trash and you'll lose every deal you have going on right now.
"Yes. I will call you. But don't I always when you're on the calendar?"
He had no response.
I know how to do my FUCKING job asswipe.

Next one- another guy who EVERYONE hates and I swear he only comes in to piss everyone off when he talks on the phone too loud, and runs to the printer so no one will take his print-outs. (Cause, you know, everyone is out to take his print-outs...) He comes to my desk looking around and asks "No chocolate yet?" Apparently I'm supposed to use my check to supply the office with junk food instead of pay my babysitter, pay my bills, FEED MY SON, etc.etc...
"Nope" I say not taking my eyes off the computer screen.
"You stink," he says as he walks out the door.
NO MOTHER FUCKER- YOU STINK. You just got paid eight fucking thousand dollars for selling a house, which thanks to your OCD is no problem for you. Take your ass to the CVS down the street and spend a couple of dollars and buy yourself some fucking chocolate. Don't even bring it to the office, because then you run the risk of having to share with the other vultures in here, just keep it in your car. Don't tell me I FUCKING STINK because I'm not feeding your chocolate habit.

ugh.

My day was going just fine.
Deep Breath...
Woo-sa.....
Counting to ten...
I can't wait to go home now.
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Crazy/Hip Blog-Mamas
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Jealous Little Man

I don't know if I've ever written about my son's jealousy, and I'm too lazy to go back and check old posts- so if you've already heard this- I'm sorry.
Anyhoo- my son is a jealous bitch. He cannot see me and Daddy hug, kiss, TOUCH in any way. The thing is, usually when the jealousy hits, he pushes ME away from Daddy, and proceeds to hug him. If Little Man is on the bed with Daddy, I will purposely go and hug Daddy or lay next to him, and he really comes over and SHOVES me away. I can't hug his Daddy. So I will hug Daddy again and say "MY Daddy!" which pisses my son off to no end. Sometimes he will laugh, but he still pushes me out of the way and lays on Daddy so I can't access any hugging body parts. We get a kick out of it. Sometimes me and Daddy will pretend to fight over the baby, one of us hugging him saying "My baby!" and the other trying to take the baby away. Little Man loves it. He gets hiccups from how hard he laughs. It's a sight.
Now for a list-
Words Little Man can say clearly:
1. Go
2. No (he hears it so much!)
3. Hello? (While holding the cellphone/remote/shirt/anything to his ear)
4. MA! (always with an exclamation point)
5. Dada
6. Look
7. This
8. Yeah
9. Car
10. Que? (spanish for 'what')
11. Hey

There are probably more that I can't remember right now. I figure I might as well write them down. He says full sentences, but they're usually in Chinese so I can't understand him. My mother says he has said other words in Spanish but I haven't heard them, and until I do she's a liar.
I will probably be back later today. No one is in the office, I'm gonna be catching up on my daily reads (WHICH I STILL CANT FIGURE OUT HOW TO PUT ON MY FUCKING SIDEBAR!) and maybe I'll get inspired to write something else.


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Crazy/Hip Blog-Mamas
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Macktastic Diana Rock-

That's my Pimp Name. What's yours?
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Crazy/Hip Blog-Mamas
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Muah!

Little Man has learned how to throw a kiss. He's always known how to kiss, form his lips make the sound, he actually loves giving kisses. But yesterday for the first time he was sitting on my lap on the computer chair and he turned to me and threw me a kiss- put his hand over his mouth while kissing it. I melted. This boy, who astounds me everytime he picks up on something I teach him, surprised the hell out of me yesterday. He threw a kiss at me. Then he did it to his Daddy. I saw the look on Daddy's face, must have been what mine looked like. I wonder who taught him that, and why wasn't it me?
At least he threw me the kiss. Now I'm going to keep making him do it.

After dinner last night, I released Little Man into his heaven (playroom) where he entertains himself for a while. He came back into the living room with his lego box containing three legos and a hairbrush, puts it down and crawls under his walker. (He doesn't use his walker, I think it's been out of commision since it mysteriously lost a wheel about four months ago. Now we just use it to feed him when we eat in front of the t.v.)(Daddy took off all the other wheels-) Now I'm watching him, curious to see what is going to come out from under the walker...but I hear him grunting. And pushing. He's pooping- IN PRIVATE! When he finished his business, he comes out from under the walker, grabs his lego box and goes to to the play room. I hear some rearranging going on in there (probably changing the contents of the lego box) and out he comes sans lego box. He stands in front of Daddy, kind of leaning on him as if to say "Do you smell this shit? Get me out of it!" Daddy looks at me with the "HOLY SHIT HE STINKS!" face and I crack up. He didn't want to stink up his playroom. I laugh the whole time I changed him- and boy did it stink! Back to the playroom he went, got his lego box and went to bring it to Daddy. Daddy asks him "What's in the box?" Stupid question Daddy. Little Man lifts the box and dumps out its contents at Daddy's feet. "You asked," I said, and turned back to the t.v. Little Man goes back into the playroom and you can hear some crashing-mainly legos being thrown around. Daddy goes and stands in the doorway and asks "What are you doing?" Little Man is too much, he points down and starts saying something in his toddler jumble and he points at his little bike and says something else. Daddy had to turn around to laugh, he later said Little Man's expression was classic teenager "I didn't do it". My Little Man is too funny. I'm having such a crappy day I can't wait to get home and have him throw some kisses at me!
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Crazy/Hip Blog-Mamas
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[shaking my head in disgust.]

This is some bullshit. I can't imagine why she only has to spend TEN days in jail- probation is NOT a punishment. It breaks my heart for the little boy. What kills me is that this is AN UPGRADED sentence, meaning they had given her something lighter before they found out she was high as a kite! Why are the parents okay with this? Someone would have to ROT in jail for killing my little boy! I would go to the jail and visit just to make sure you weren't having any fun and showing you pictures of the child I NO LONGER HAVE BECAUSE OF YOU! I can't believe it....

(12/21/05)> even this guy is getting jail time before his 10 years probation!
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