How about I sleep in your crib...

What I am about to show you should come as a warning to new mommies thinking about co-sleeping. Note: I'm not bashing it, if you like it good for you, but I'm not for it. I'm forced into it. By my son. He is a dictator-in-the-making.
See, I would be all for co-sleeping if he would stay in the position he fell asleep in...all night. But he doesn't.
Last night he fell asleep later than usual, but still on his own. He no longer wants to cuddle with Mommy, he doesn't want Mommy patting his butt, he doesn't want Mommy even laying next to him. Daddy is allowed to lay next to him but there are restrictions. This is how he looked about five minutes after he fell asleep: Notice how he strategically placed himself in the dead-center of the bed preventing any chance of Mommy and Daddy even touching. Mommy and Daddy have to lean over him to kiss good-night. (yeah we do that, sappy I know. Leave me alone.) Daddy went off to shower and Mommy laid down, feeling so tired her eyes may have closed the second her head touched the pillow.
Let me remind you that he moves. A LOT.
Here is the photo of what Mommy and Daddy's bed looked like this morning before Little Man woke up: He somehow totally kicked (well, pushed, because kicking would require feet, right?)Mommy all the way to the wall leaving minimal moving space causing discomfort in her back region. (I have woken up many times at the very foot of the bed...) He also managed to get THE FITTED SHEET off the mattress. He has one foot in Daddy's armpit and one resting on Daddy's chest.
This is a Queen sized mattress.
We have officially decided to put him in his crib tonight since we can risk the loss of sleep because neither one of us works tomorrow. I will report on that come Monday. Wish us luck.

*I also wanted to point out Daddy's elbow in the picture. See how dark he is, my cinnamon-colored wonder? Now I'm not dark, but I'm not light either. (My joke is that I'm fish-belly yellow. Go ahead, laugh it up.) Our son is white. You've seen the pictures... He has the same skin tone my mother does...the point is that we get the funniest looks when we go out together, people never think he is our child. We are a mis-matched family.* Okay, back to wishing us luck...

Let's go racing again

Pack your bags and take the weekend off with me...
HA! I wish I was going the whole weekend. I wish we were renting a hotel room and packing my Little Man up and going. Instead we are dropping Little Man off at my mother's Saturday night and leaving for Atco at about 3 a.m.
More racing!
And there is a competition between Puerto Rico and US for the championship! (Can I spoil it by telling you that the US never wins? PR usually has the fastest race times...
Here...some good news...are you ready???
*whispering* We get to eat at White Castle. Atco Raceway is in Atco, New Jersey....and I already did a google search, there is a White Castle not too far from the track...so Tuesday Girl, you don't have to worry about shipping them out. I get to satisfy my craving by actually going myself and saving us both shipping costs.
Hopefully this time I can take pics and post them here. (Left my camera when we went to the last races in NH, did I mention that?)
Whatever...let's go racing!

Fashion...?

Kristen over at Mommy Does It All just wrote about what people are calling fashion these days. Seriously, she hit the nail on the head when she said that these "fashion designers" are making clothes for the anorexic-looking models, instead of shapely women.
I CANNOT WEAR SKINNY JEANS! I've got thighs, and an ASS!
I CANNOT WEAR LEGGINGS! Even under a skirt or dress. (I really am not a big fan of that look to begin with...make up your damn mind!)
She asked if we would be wearing leg-warmers and hammer pants again, too? Really, how long before someone thinks it's a good idea...
But wait, I had to add...what about tight-rolled jeans?

Have you heard anything?

The mailman just came to pick up the mail from the mailbox right outside my office wearing rubber gloves. The last time I saw a mailman wearing rubber gloves was when we were having the Anthrax scare. Is there sometihng we should know about?

Oh the possibilities!

I was talking with my girl Supermom in NY, okay not talking but e-mailing...whatever...and she asked me what I would do if I won the lottery. She mentioned this new show on NBC "Windfall".
It's about some twenty people that won the lottery and the different reactions they had and different ways they decided to spend the money. I couldn't even begin to answer. So we decided to ask everyone: WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF YOU WON THE LOTTERY? Fun part: either answer in the comments or post it on your page and link back to us in the comments so we can all read each other's answers.
My answer: First off- I would pay off all my credit cards that went to hell the day I got fired for being pregnant. I would buy my mother and sister a house and a brand new car for each of them. I would buy Daddy, Little Man and me a new house as well. I would take care of my mother's and sister's credit issues. I would donate money to the Cancer Society and the AIDS Foundation because these are two issues we need to help with on a regular basis. I probably wouldn't have any money left after that.
I'm writing on my calendar to watch that show tomorrow night, because it sounds it will be an interesting watch. (If anyone has seen the show, let me know-is it good? Are you hooked?) I hear Luke Perry is on it, and I don't know about you ladies but I had a huuuuuge crush on him in 90210. I think I was drawn to the Bad Boy image he portrayed. (Lynanne-there goes one of my celebrity crushes you were talking about the other day!) If anyone else would like to join me in watching the show tomorrow night, let me know. We can probably discuss it here.
Do you guys see how much I've been posting today? Can you tell the office is dead today? I know you guys don't mind...especially if you're on the East Coast with this crappy weather we're having today.

D'Oh!

Blonde Moment Number 1,936,964: I left my purse at work yesterday.*
This morning I realized my car was in the red zone in need of gas. Hmmm...I found TWO DOLLARS in my ashtray (or should I call it my change tray?) and a bunch of pennies. I have to get Daddy to work and Little Man to my sister's house and then bring my self to work...

Took Daddy to work, still in the red zone. Stopped at the gas station next to his job, got my two bucks and Little Man out of the car. Get to the counter and ask the guy if he wants to laugh. He smiles. I hand him the two dollars and tell him about my purse. "This should get me to the sitters and to work, right?" He smiles again and nods. I sigh. Picture how much my needle moved putting two dollars worth of gas when a gallon costs $3.05 at that station...

Hell, I made it to work.

*I am the keeper of the money in this family. Daddy would spend it on car stuff and car magazines. So I'm "The Responsible One" when it comes to our money, our debit card, our checks...you know I'm not going to hear the end of this one, right? LOL. Oops.

Hmmmmm, White Castle...

(say the title like Homer Simpson...drooling and all, that's how I'm saying it!)
Can I tell you how much I looooove our friends .K. and .S. right now? .K.'s family is originally from New Jersey (shout out to Latteman! And Tuesday Girl!) so she and her husband .S. took their 6 month old son for a visit with her family back home. They were gone for five days, and they made sure to call us to make us jealous of all the fun they were having. The reason that I love them so much right now is that when they came home last night they brought me and Daddy a bagful White Castle burgers. Some of you may be saying " Big deal, a bag full of burgers..."
You don't understand.
They are WHITE CASTLE BURGERS (aka Slyders.)
Tiny little burgers (they kind of look like bar burgers) that are just sooooo good. I don't even know what it is about them that is so addicting, but they are. Daddy and I both used to live in NYC when we were kids (no, we didn't know each other) and we at least could get to a White Castle to get some, but now that we live here (five miles off the edge of the Earth where there is No White Castle) we miss those tiny burgers. I did find them in the supermarket...but they sell six in a box for like $4 and you have to microwave them, it just isn't the same. They are sold at the restaurant for $0.59!!!
I'm going to have to add that place as one of the reasons I should go back to NYC.
Sigh.

Are you ready for a list?

Here is a list for you: Things The Shitter Does. (Besides Shit)*

• He calls at 9 a.m, 12:00 p.m, 12:30 p.m, and 4:55 p.m "to check his messages". For the past two weeks our back line (which the agents use to check their messages so as not to call me fifteen times a day) has not been working. The calls were okay, until the line was fixed. I started noticing the times he was calling and I came to realize he is checking up on me.
• When he comes to my desk "to get an envelope" or "use my stapler" (he has one on his own desk) he is peering at my computer screen to see what I'm doing.
• He walks up to my desk when I am on the phone to listen to my conversation. (Thank goodness I don't make personal phone calls here, or he'd be all up in my business.)
• If I leave the office to go to lunch he chases me down the hall to ask me when I'll be returning. He never gives me any work to do- why ask?
• If he hears our door open he runs to the front to see who it is. Literally, he RUNS. Which doesn't matter, because if he's not the agent on the calendar, he doesn't get the client. Period.
• I think he looks through the papers on my desk. I have a way of leaving my desk so I will always notice if someone has been touching anything, and I've been noticing things are different when I come in the next morning.

*I am making this list to show how annoying he is. Because really, my own BOSS-who signs my paychecks- doesn't do this stuff. More will be added. I just wanted to get some of this out before I snap at him.

How about...

Things that dont belong in the washing machine? A sister story to my toilet stories...
Momisnutz-we should talk about making a separate blog for these things!

Remember when I asked about ads?

Well, Supermom from Snow White had told me to check out a few sites she uses to generate some money. One of the sites she told me about was payperpost.com. Now, I haven't tried them yet, but she told me she was making some money so I signed up for it. What can I lose, right? Their requirements are:

• that you are at least 18 (we have established that I am over 18, not by much, but I am.)
• Your blog has to be at least 90 days old. (Mine is about 240 but who's counting?)
• You have to have a paypal account. (Daddy has ordered from e-bay. We're good.)

You choose which product or service you want to blog about, and they let you know what is required. They provide you with hyperlinks to put on your page, as well as photos of whatever you might be blogging about. And they pay you. So you can save money (because you know I'm always saying we don't have any.) or have extra money. Or pay some bills. So I'm going to do it. I'm going to blog for money. I'm not a big-dog like some other bloggers out there, but I would like to have some money saved up in case of an emergency or something. You never know.

This is a good opportunity for anyone who would like a little money for doing what they do anyway...BLOG! The vendors on the site are not only looking for positive feedback, they want honesty.

I already told Supermom (in NY) that I would let her know how it turns out, and if you guys try it, let me know.

Will you guys still love me?

The Wedding

My baby cousin got married Friday. And I say baby cousin because that is how I will always see her. My mother, sister and I moved in with her family when my parents were freshly divorced and we left the state in search for a new life. My baby cousin hadn't even been born yet. I was (almost) four and I remember standing outside one hot summer night waving to my aunt as my uncle drove her to the hospital. So that makes her twenty. (I'm turning 24 in two weeks, holy shit!) And now she's married. Wow. You know, I kept seeing the little five year old tomboy in pigtails when I looked at her, not the beautiful model-esque adult she has become. I kept seeing her squatting on the curb poking at ants with a stick, not wanting to play with the barbies her older sister and I would keep shoving in her face.
She was beautiful. The ceremony was beautiful.
The wedding was on the beach. I took these pictures so you can see the view. Breath-taking, huh? We were all barefoot most of the day, as the ceremony was on the sand and the reception was in the grassy backyard of the summer home they rented for the event. We had a wonderful time (and yes, Jay, it was only one wedding this time. Though if someone else had been getting married that day I would not have gone. This is family. Totally more important than anyone and anything else) and cried with the speeches and cried when she danced with her wonderful father. And we cheered as they kissed and cried as we said good-byes, because not only were we saying good-bye to the new couple, I felt I was saying good-bye to the little girl who screamed at the sight of a dress. (We have pictures of her sitting in church with the biggest scowl on her face because she had to wear a dress to services.) She's all grown up, and I'm happy for them both. I wish them both a beautiful life together.
This picture is when they were announcing the new couple at the reception, my Little Man was standing on the table and he was cheering and clapping along with us. I had to capture the moment. That's the back of my mother. Like her hair? My sister did it in five minutes right before we left...

So that was my Friday.

What time is it? I'm LATE!!!

Okay, so I have a couple of posts brewing in my head right now- one being a more in depth viewing of my hate/hate relationship with Daddy's ex (GIRLFRIEND). Another being about my dear sweet funny pain in the ass son.
BUT
My cousin is getting married today. In a couple of hours. And I have to go home and shower (again? I should have skipped my shower this morning but I can't start my day w/out showering and I can't change clothes w/out showering...hmmm another weird thing about me.)
I should have left twenty minutes ago, but I got caught up reading up on you guys. (Yeah, no work got done today. Oh well.)
So I'm off. And hopefully Monday is boring at work so I can write something interesting enough to keep you guys around.
Maybe I can get a good enough picture taken of myself and you guys can see what I look like in non-animation form. But I never look good in pics, so that probably won't happen.
Anyhoo- have a great weekend guys.

Another reason to hate her-

Little Daddy's mother just keeps racking up on the reasons I hate her more and more. It has nothing to do with the fact that she's Daddy ex....okay maybe just a little but she has done many things to harden my feelings toward her.
The latest is this: we got Little Daddy for the fourth of July. We were sitting having lunch when Little Daddy started to say something about his new little brother (she just had another son in April by her new boyfriend) when he stopped himself and then said "Well, I have two little brothers, but only one is my real brother." I know I KNOW she has been telling Little Daddy that Little Man is not his real brother, she would do something like that. So, as calmly as I could (you could still hear my voice shaking a bit from the anger that was boiling inside me) I told Little Daddy "You have two little brothers. They are both your REAL brothers, no matter who tells you what."
I swear I wanted to jump throught the windshield when we dropped him off and just throw myself at her and scratch her fucking eyes out. How dare she tell him that Little Man is not his REAL brother? Little Daddy is blessed to have two little brothers, who cares who gave birth to them? Little Man loves Little Daddy, you should see how excited he gets when he sees him, and the kisses he gives him and the hugs...that stupid BITCH!

Things That Don't Belong In The Toilet (Part 1)

I wasn't going to post this. I took the picture for my own records, where I keep a lot of pictures filed away in the "Things Little Man does and nobody would believe me if it weren't for this picture" section. Then I read this story: Cotton Swab Soup and I figured I had to share it.
I was getting Little Man's bath ready and he was chatting away with the vaccuum (literally standing there, speaking to it). I called him over to the bathroom so I can strip and soak him. He came in while I was trying to get his crayons in the medicine cabinet. (Believe me, if I didn't keep them there my whole house would have scribbles.) Suddenly I hear "Uh-oh."
Uh-oh? What do you mean uh-oh??? I go to him in front of the toilet and look in and this is what I see:His binky. In. The. Toilet.
You would think that this means he is over the binky and is ready to flush it (haha) out of our lives forever...no. He just wanted to see what would happen if he put the binky in the toilet. He was about to flush, I had to stop him. Thank goodness there was nothing else in the toilet.
So, Erin-erin-bo-berin (banana-fana-fo-ferin! I always sing that song when I see your name!)) I totally know where you're coming from. In the future when he is a little older I will have to print out your instructions and have him follow them with whatever he threw in the toilet that day, because I know this isn't the last time it will happen in my house.

Goddamn Blogger...

I'm trying to post a story of something that Little Man did and stupid blogger won't let me upload the pics...
So until I can get those pics up, I'm sorry! Check back soon...I will be writing a nasty e-mail to the folks at Blogger...

I'm being eaten by flags

I will have to post a picture of what my bossman has had me doing all day...just so you guys can laugh. But now- it's five to five and I have to start closing down.
Hopefully Monday I can have a real post up.
Hopefully.

***Edited to add: I didn't get a pic of the stupid things in time. He was having me tape his business card onto four inch flags so he could stick the flags on people's lawns. People would notice the flag, go look at it and see his card...somehow convincing them they needed to sell their house NOW! and calling my bossman....business, it's a good life eh?

Home Remedies

I found this funny. I'm weird that way. Let me know if you laughed, too.
1. If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic. Simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat and presto! The blockage will be almost instantly removed.
2. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away.
3. Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat by simply using the sink.
4. High blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a while, thus reducing the pressure in your veins.
5. A mouse trap placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep when you hit the snooze button.
6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you will be afraid to cough.
7. Have a bad toothache? Hit your thumb with a hammer, then you will forget about the toothache.
8. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
9. Sometimes we just need to remember what The Rules of Life really are: You need only two tools: WD-40 and duct tape. If it doesn't move and it should, use WD-40. If it moves and shouldn't, use the duct tape.
10. If you woke up breathing, congratulations! You have another chance!
11. And finally... Be really good to your family and friends. You never know when you are going to need them to empty your bedpan.

Because I think "Leave me the fuck alone!" would be too harsh...

(Latteman, maybe you can help since you ARE the only guy that reads here...)

Anyway, this is open for anyone with advice.
We have a company my bossman has chosen to be "our" mortgage company, and we have an in-house mortgage guy that comes in maybe twice a week. He's a really nice guy, friendly, funny, whatever. From the conversations we've had I've learned he is married with four children and I've been very clear and open with the fact that Daddy, Little Man and I are a very happy family. (Even when we're not, but it's not like I spread my business all over work. According to anyone I work with my family is perfect, my car is perfect, my mentality is perfect...) So the Mortgage Guy always asks different agents out to lunch to talk business and basically get his name out there so he can become the Mortgage Guy that everyone uses when dealing with our company. One day he asked me to lunch with two of my favorite agents and my bossman. Free lunch? Hell yeah, I'm there!
Then he's asking me to tag along every week. I went once more with him and those two same agents (bossman didn't come) and that was it. I haven't been since, and now every time he is in the office he is asking me -JUST ME- out to lunch.
Dude, NO.
I don't feel comfortable going to lunch just the two of us, and I keep giving him excuses why I can't go but today he just came and suggested he bring lunch into the office for us.
Dude, NO.
What the hell can I say to him so he can back off without insulting him. It's not like he has come on to me, but still. I don't think it would be appropriate for me to go to lunch with him.
Oh, and I had told him I was going to the other office (which he never goes to, someone else is assigned to that office) and he ended up saying "Well, then I guess I'll have to take that office from The Other Mortgage Guy just so I can follow you."
Dude, NO.
WTF?

It has been a veeeeeeeeeeery looooooong day....

• I keep looking at the clock and I think it's going backwards.
• Daddy's cousin's girlfriend sent me an e-mail that her modeling company is looking for infants to put in a show, so she asked me to let my SIL know. Why can't they be looking for almost-two-year-olds so I can put my Little Man in a show and he can have some money put away??? I asked her this and she laughed. I don't see the humor. I was being serious.
• I had lunch at my desk today. Which is why the day is going in slo-mo. I didn't get the much-needed, much-deserved break I need away from these crazies.
• Speaking of crazies, The Shitter has surpassed The Asshole in annoyance and stupidity. He is now the Great Hated One in my office. Details another time, because I'm sure I will be venting my frustrations out here. He is also the Idiot who always asks me where the Closed files are....so that should give you some insight on his stupidity. BTW-His nickname will be The Shitter because (if you saw the link) he does that EVERY DAY!!!! In the office!! Multiple times!!! If there is an agent here they will not go into the bathroom after him because they know he is The Shitter.
• Is it five yet?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
• Nita, you still peeking in here? Drop me a line, let me know things are okay, m'kay? Please? Pretty please with sugar on top?

I taped my windows for nothing.

State of Panic, indeed. No storm like the one we had the other day, just a lot of rain. Enough to keep us in all weekend, but not enough for the warning every fifteen minutes. Yeah, better safe than sorry, but I think with all those warnings they actually caused more accidents than needed because of everyone being in such a rush to get home.
Little Man had an accident this weekend. On my watch, so chalk it up to my bad mothering. We have two window fans set up in the house, one in the kitchen and one in the living room. (We haven't put the air conditioner up since we are hardly home and it's never really hot on the weekends.) Little Man knows not to touch these fans, I have told him "No" when he goes near them and I think he was a little afraid of the spinning they do. Keyword: WAS. Saturday he decided to put his finger into the fan. Thank God for cheap plastic Wal-Mart fans, he lost some skin but not his finger like I thought he had. (Yes, I was freaking out thinking he lost a finger because I never put my finger into a spinning fan so I don't know how much damage they actually do.) To the bathroom we go, washing the finger (which isn't bleeding all that much) and putting some Witch Hazel on it. He isn't even crying anymore, but I want to. Triple antibiotic ointment, band-aid and a kiss from Mommy. He went to go show Daddy the band-aid, and took it right off. I went through five band-aids in about an hour before giving up and just leaving it without one. I put one on at night with more antibiotic ointment just to make sure it gets some of that healing power going. You think he learned his lesson? Last night before bed I catch him trying to put his finger in the fan again. It wasn't on, but I pulled him away from it anyway, and showed him his finger. I want him to be afraid of these fans. Maybe we should just put the AC in...
This morning I told the babysitter what happened as I took a pack of band-aids out and gave them to her... she says "Oh, you gotta watch him." No shit Sherlock.

State of Panic

"We interrupt your listening pleasure to inform you that your state is going into a State of Panic due to the horrendous Thunder Storms that are headed our way. There will be thunder and lightning and hail bigger than the one you saw the other day..."
That was a paraphrase to what was said on my "work station".
Here's my beef: They couldn't even warn me about the storms we had the other day until ten minutes after they HAD PASSED, but now they keep interrupting the music here to give us the Severe Thunder Storm- Get Your Asses Away From Windows warning, but the sun is still shining. I know, I know thunderstorms come suddenly and it's probably storming somewhere else, but they have the already stupid drivers of my state driving home as quickly as possible, endangering other people. (I'm watching them through the windows at my workplace, they really are in a frenzy.) My mother called me, the state college she works for has already closed their doors and sent all staff members home. Now she's worried about us. So she'll be calling me every fifteen minutes until I tell her we are home and didn't get into any serious accidents. Well, East Coasters, since we have about five days of non-stop rain ahead of us (most likely starting as soon as I walk out these doors and try to enjoy my weekend), I hope you guys don't get Cabin Fever. Wait, I hope I don't get Cabin Fever, either.
Well, have a good weekend guys. I've got nothing to write about today, as I've been busy getting three new agents and all their properties into our system. (One alone has eighteen, EIGHTEEN properties that had to be put into the system. Yes, I've been slammed.)
Until Monday. Where maybe I'll have a story of neighbors running into the street during the Hail Storm naked to get their garbage cans. That hasn't happened, but it might!

...and then my eyes just welled up...

My son is fucking deaf. That is my story and I'm sticking to it. Yesterday I was making dinner, and between checking on it and trying to straighten the living room up so it looks a little less lived in, I had to keep stopping to tell Little Man to stop throwing the not-so-soft Leap Pad Alphabet Ball around the T.V. Do you think he stopped? Come on, a prize for whoever guesses right...
Well he didn't.
Not to be materialistic or anything- but that T.V cost me and Daddy a LOT of money. (Well, a lot to us considering we never seem to have any.) It was our Christmas present to ourselves, nice flat screen with the speakers right on the side...I don't want the stupid Leap Frog Ball going through the screen. I took the ball and flung it into my room and dared him to go find it.
He did.
Asshole.
That, he heard.
But he didn't hear me later ask him to get off the floor (he was trying to shove himself under the couch), and then he didn't hear me scream it at him after asking him ten times.
Daddy asks him, he didn't even raise his voice The boy stopped and sat back on the couch.
I wanted to cry. What the FUUUUUUCK??????
I don't understand it. Maybe I should go work for the makers of the dog whistle, because my voice must be "unhearable" to humans.

Ohmygod!!!!

I won something!!!! I never win anything!!! When I e-mailed her I had to share this story with her:
This is exactly the second time in my life I have ever won anything. The first time was a radio station give-away of a cd of a (then) "unknown, up-and-coming group" The Roots. When i heard this on the radio I was like "HE-LLO! They are NOT unknown! I know them! I've listened to them on 'underground' stuff and I LOOOOOOOOOVE them!" So I dialed and apparently I was the only one who called and I won the cd. Which I still have. Which I still looove. My favorite song on that album is "Break You Off". Just FYI. Like you care...
But I won some cute Baby Legs which I am going to put on my boy ASAP because these skinned knees? Not my thing. My son's perfect skin is being mangled every time he trips. And with this weather he is dressed in shorts all day, or as I saw one day when i got to the babysitter to pick him up: in a diaper.
So thanks Mama C-Ta. I will take pics of Little Man with them on.


To those here visiting from Mama C-Ta's site, Welcome! I'm nothing special, but enjoy your stay.

*****FUMING*****(UPDATED)

It's been beautiful all day today, sun shining, everyone walking around in shorts and smiling. I've been sitting here with my floor-to-ceiling windows having to witness it all.
The clock just struck five, the clouds came.
There was a loud bang- it was thunder.
It is now raining.
Figures.


Updated next morning:
How the hell did we end up with a hail storm last night? We were at the babysitters getting the baby, when the sky literally cracked open and the rain was coming down like someone was holding a garden hose directly on top of us. You couldn't see a thing, and then on the drive home (which usually only takes five minutes) HAIL started coming down, pelting the windows, bringing down branches and causing zero visibility. Little Man wasn't scared, I was. Daddy was laughing, it was just ridiculous how bad it got with no warning. You couldn't even see where the sidewalk was because of all the sudden flooding. So half an hour later we get home, i turn on the news and there is nothing about the storm. Five minutes later it stopped raining. Ten minutes later they put a Severe Thunderstorm Warning on the screen for my part of the state. They're really on top of things aren't they?

Are you carrying on?

And waiting for my post on Import Wars?
Well, I will have to upload the pics tonight, because I still haven't done it. (Boooooooooo!) But worry not, because the pics aren't even of cars. Heh, how's that for suspense?
Import Wars was better than last year, and I say this every year because it just gets better and better. The only difference was that Daddy didn't get to run his car because most of its motor is sitting in my kitchen enjoying the breeze. My sister's boyfriend ran his, and he got down the quarter mile in 12.8 seconds at 105 mph. For those in the know: that's good. Well, to me it is, he felt he could have done better and as soon as we got back home he was already making plans on things to change and tinker with. A few of Daddy's friends made good times, one guy went down in 14.7- and that was with cracked valves! (Which he didn't know about, and his whole car could have just died, but thankfully it didn't.) Another made it down in 9.9 at 147 mph! There were no crashes this year, and I don't think anybody's car even broke down. It was hooooooooot in New Hampshire, I had put on the baby's sunblock (SPF 50) so I wouldn't burn, I haven't been out in the sun like that in a good two years. But we had fun. The event didn't end until 9:30-10 and we got home about one in the morning.
The baby enjoyed his stay with my mother. She and my sister took him to my aunt's house down in the woods for a cook-out and he was ecstatic with the toys they had. My cousin has a boy about a year older than Little Man, so there were things there he could enjoy. My mother had no complaints (as she usually does) and didn't even call me at 8 in the morning telling me to go get him. I picked him up at about ten, and he was NAPPING!!!!!!! She told me he had been up playing since six. So I just sat there and chatted with her until he woke up. If I had known he was going to be sleeping, I would have stayed home in bed a little while longer...
The pictures I am going to post here are inspired by Dawn and her trip to the Unholy Mecca. I give full credit to her, because never would I have thought "Hey, I'm going to take a picture of this chick's outfit and post it on th net!" There were some RIDICULOUSLY dressed females over there, and I took pics of a few just to give you guys a look at what I was exposed to while I was there. And these weren't even chicks from NH, I see one of them all the time in my own city. And she dresses like this all the time. Ugh, I can't wait to show you guys.
So you will have to wait, again.
I do apologize.
Or is it really a ploy to get you to keep coming back??? The world may never know.*

*Anybody know where that's from???

Coming Soon:

A post about the Import Wars.
And pictures.
For now:
NOTHING.
Carry on.

From the Black Hole of Death

I'm at The Other Office right now. Hmph. No, the Other Admin didn't up and quit, I have to pick Little Man up at 2:30 because the babysitter "forgot" about an appt. she had today. So instead of having me run around the whole city to pick the Other Admin up and bring her to my office (she doesn't have a car), we decided I would just work half the day here, and the Other Admin could spend the day at my office. Since the Head Admin is here until five, it just makes sense.
So I get to leave in an hour and a half. YAY!
Daddy and I are heading to New Hampshire tomorrow, to see Import Wars. It's fun, you get to see all these custom cars race for the best time on the track. I love watching, Daddy is going to see what the competition is, he looooves racing. He will be out there soon, giddy with the knowledge that he has a fast car, too. Little Man will be spending the night at my mother's, she is already all excited and planning stuff. She hasn't had him spend the night in a while.
I don't have much else to write. It's Friday, it's beautiful out...I already can't wait to leave. I think I'm going to take Little Man for ice cream before we pick up Daddy from work...
Have a great weekend. Happy Father's Day to all the Daddies out there. (Latteman)

***I've been looking around in this computer...I have my work cut out for me, nothing is where it should be and there are a lot of old files that should have been taken out months ago...Ugh. It's going to be a busy couple of weeks when I move here.

Is there an Absent Father's Day?

So I don't know what to do for Father's Day...for my father. He left when I was three...forgot birthdays and Christmas for years, and I swear he still spells my name wrong. My mother tries to cover for him saying that he spells it the way they were thinking of spelling it, but I think that's bullshit. Whatever. Anyway, a few years ago he bought me a car and I guess in his book, that made everything okay. Not in mine. Yeah, I make an effort to call him once in a while, and I actually called him on his birthday this year (see Dad, it's not THAT hard to remember a birthday...) but I don't know if I feel comfortable sending him a card or a gift to celebrate what he hasn't been to me for years.

How to make my heart STOP BEATING:

Come into the office, tell me "There are going to be some changes in this office, I really need to speak to you. Hang on let me get this call..." and proceed into the conference room for a half hour. That is what my bossman did to me yesterday afternoon.
Now, my heart stopped beating because the first thought that came into my mind was "Oh shit he's closing this office, keeping the other one and now I'm out of a job." Compared to the Other Office, we are crap. We have nine agents here, most of whom work out of their home anyway, so I'm basically just here by myself most of the day. The Other Office has about twenty some-odd agents, most of which actually work in the office for most of the day. That is why the Other Office has two admins. They need them.
When my boss called me into the conference room, I was on the verge of tears, thinking the worst; I have to call Daddy. How fast can I find another job? What if I can't find another job?
My boss was very serious as he started speaking...
"Well, I've decided I need to make some changes. We are letting The Other Admin go. You are going to the Other Office and the Head Admin is coming to this office."
I swallowed the lump in my throat. Holy shit.
All I could do was nod, waiting for him to continue.
"I like the way you work, and I think you can handle the Other Office by yourself, you have a great organization system here, you deal with the people with confidence and even when they want to walk all over you I can see that you handle yourself well. I want you working closer to me, because I think that you can go places. The Other Admin is very shy, blah blah blah, details details details, and the Head Admin needs to be somewhere slower, blah blah blah."
But I hate the Other Office, I love the people that are here now that The Asshole is gone...
"I'm going to give you a dollar raise..."
I can learn to love it...

I have two weeks left in this office. Two weeks before I move to a busier, disorganized, louder environment. Two weeks before my days become more hectic because I have to apply my "organizational skills" to their filing system and computer files...along with do all the paperwork and phonecalls...
Now I really have to connect my computer at home to stay in touch with all of you, because I don't know how much time I will have to be here during the day. (Oh how I will miss that!)
The good news is that now I will have more stories of the crazies that come in, call, and there will be more agents to talk about.
I'm sorry about the Other Admin having to go, but I'm glad someone noticed me.

What the hell is with these kids?!?!?!?

My son has become deaf to my voice. Only mine.
He has always tested me and my limits when I ask him to do something (or should I say to NOT do something) but has usually listened. Now if I tell him not to do something: "Little Man do NOT put that in your mouth." "Little Man, do NOT get into the tub with your clothes on." (Which he does, whether there is water in it or not, I have to lock the bathroom door now even if no one is in it.) Anyway, it's like a direct order to GO DO IT. So whatever he has in his hand goes into his mouth, (rocks, dirt, lint, ugh!!!) What gets me is now, when I call him to change his diaper, or to get him ready for a bath or bed he continues on like I never said a word. I call out more loudly, and yesterday ended up screaming at him, I was so frustrated!!! But bring Daddy into the picture, or my sister, and they only have to make their requests once. It pisses me off to no end...
I don't know what to do. His hearing is fine, it just tunes my voice out. WHAT THE FUUUUUUUCK????

***P.S Thank you guys who responded to yesterday's post. Stupid blogger won't let me post a comment, so I'll say it here: I spoke to her again and she said they're "fine." I have to accept that answer, even though I know she is scared and probably walking on eggshells hoping for the incident not to repeat itself... I will keep all of your comments in mind IF it does happen again, and I will do my best to help her in any way I can. As I said, my couch is pretty comfy for guests...

Late last night-

Me. Her.
These conversation posts seem to be taking over, but what better way to present them to you than to put you right in the moment? Not that you'd want to be in this one...
*phone ringing*
Hello?
Hey, it's me.
Her voice is quiet, shaky, like she's crying but doesn't want to let me know.
Are you okay?
*sobbing*. No. *more sobbing*. He hit me.
Holy shit...
Shhhh....
What happened?
I don't know...he came into the kitchen and slapped me and when I tried to grab the baby and leave the house he did it again.
Where are you?
In the bathroom. He took the baby and the car keys into our room and locked the door. Says if I leave-even if it's just to get air that I will only be able to come back to pack my shit up. I want to get the baby and get the hell out. I don't need this.
...........
We weren't even arguing, he was going to go to the store and I said something out the window- I wasn't even saying anything for an argument, but he came back in and...God, how the hell did it get like this?
Do you want me to come get you?
No I won't leave without the baby. And I don't want to make this bigger than it is.
I just don't know what to do...
Christ.
I think he's sleeping but I know he will wake up if I try to get in the room and get the baby and the keys.
What are you going to do?
What choice do I have? Go to sleep...hope he isn't angry tomorrow...
Are you sure you don't want me to go get you???
No, no...no. I'm sure. I'm going to bed. It'll be fine tomorrow.

I hung up the phone not knowing what to do. Should I go there anyway? Should I risk getting her husband angry at her, and possibly causing her to get "slapped" again? She has never mentioned any of this before, has it happened before? I called her this morning, she was better. She said she would call me after work...
Maybe I can set the couch in the living room up for a visitor...

See....

I'm not the only one who hears the wrong thing!

Mike goes into an elevator, looks up and sees this great big huge guy standing next to him. The big guy sees the little guy staring at him, looks down and says, "7 feet tall, 350 lbs, 20 inch penis, testicles 3 lbs each, Turner Brown." Mike just faints dead away and falls to the floor. The big dude kneels down and brings him to, by slapping his face and shaking him. He asks, "Are you OK??" In a very weak voice Mike says, "Excuse me, but what did you just say to me?" The big dude says, "When I saw the curious look on your face, I just figured I'd give you the answers to the questions everyone always asks me. "I'm 7 feet tall, weigh 350 lbs, have a 20 inch penis, my testicles weigh 3 lbs each, and my name is Turner Brown." Mike said, "Oh Thank God!!! I thought you said 'Turn Around!'"

A conversation:

Daddy. Me.
Okay? Ready?

You know .T. told me that he hasn't slept with .I. for over a year...
What? How the hell did you guys start talking about that? Don't you think I would know better than to ask this question???
Well, he said she was leaving with the kids to visit her mother in Puerto Rico for two months and I told him he better make sure he gets some lovin' before she goes and he said he wasn't even worried about that...that he hasn't has sex with her since she was pregnant with the twins.
Daddy, the twins are TEN MONTHS OLD.
I know.
How can it be?
They've been together for like 9 years...I guess there at that point.
What point? The point where they STOP HAVING SEX? There is a CUT-OFF POINT???
Yeah, well...
Bullshit. So, okay, if there's a cut-off point, and they are there, then that means we're reaching our cut-off point, too...
He's laughing at this point, and we're both dramatically adding the time we've been together. He counts a whole year more than I do.
Stop cheating, you just want to cut me off sooner.
You're cheating, you just don't want me to cut you off.
Both laughing.
Whatever. So, just in case I forget the cut-off point you'll have to remind me like a few months ahead so I can start looking for a pool boy.
You can't have a pool boy, we don't have a pool.
I'm buying a kiddie pool for Little Man.
...

Wait-

Who gives a shit about my pain? There were two wonderful and beautiful babies born yesterday... send some love.
I'm sitting here crying tears of absolute joy that both babies arrived, but mostly at the fact that Victoria Anne is here and safe, and Cecily is safe...Cec has had such a hard journey, but it's done. Her family has grown, and I'm ecstatic for them.
Oh, and they share a wonderful birthday with another great kid, Little Daddy turned five yesterday.
Congrats, ladies. You both look beautiful and happy (!) in your pics with your new babies!

I may need a med-alert bracelet!

I'm injured. Who the hell knows how it happened, but I've got this pain that just came out of no where yesterday. It hurts! (Did you read the treatments? Or how they go about checking the coccyx??? "You're putting that where??? Hell No!")
I have the tendency to crack my own back by twisting my torso one way and then the other, and apparently (in my opinion) I must have twisted too much. I didn't fall and I didn't give birth in the last couple of days, so I can't think of anything else that would have done this. If the pain doesn't go away by tomorrow, then I'll be paying the doc a visit. I would like to avoid any foreign instruments going into my ass, thank you. (Uh-oh, here come more starnge google hits.)
Little Man was getting a kick out of it yesterday, I was laying on the couch (with an ice-pack down my pants...very attractive) and he would go do something he knows he shouldn't be doing. I tried threatening "Little Man, don't make me get up..." Yeah, after a while he figured out I couldn't get up, so there was mass destruction going on until Daddy came home.
Daddy tried massage but after a while I just said "Dude, you just want to rub my ass..." The massage helped a bit but the pain kinda felt worse after that. Before bed he got me a hot water bottle, which also made it feel better, but then when I took the bottle off it felt worse again.
So can you picture me driving? And sitting here at my office? Totally leaning on my left cheek, because it is the most painless way to sit right now...
Glad I could entertain you.

(sigh)

I have a question for those who have an answer.

DO YOU MAKE ANY MONEY OFF THE ADS ON YOUR PAGE?

I've been thinking on putting ads here (have i said that before?) but I don't want to bother if they aren't going to do anything. I know I don't have too many readers, does that matter when placing ads? I just want some extra cash, really, because as I said in my "I want another baby" whine, we are finally comfortable. We get by. But we still only have one car, and Daddy's car is sitting in our yard red-neck stlye with no motor. All the pieces to the motor can be found in our yard, and some even in my house. (Yes I said IN, as in IN MY KITCHEN, AND HALLWAY. GRR) (SPM- I told you. I will have to take pics.) There are some misc. pieces that are needed to finish rebuilding the motor, we just can't afford to buy them AND pay the guy who is going to help Daddy with the motor. (Daddy is gifted when it comes to cars, but come on, a whole motor by himself?)
So any advice on making some extra money with this (Yes, supermom I will be checkng your site out) will be appreciated. Or I'll have start selling clothes and body parts on E-bay. I don't really need this appendix...

Because I'm exhausted-

you get a lazy post about the movie...without giving too much away.
The Break-Up was the only movie premiering last weekend, and a friend of Daddy's and his soon-to-be-ex-girlfriend wanted to go out before she went away. I thought it was going to be impossible, as I never want the babysitter having Little Man any more than she already does, and I hate asking my mother to take him unless it's for something important. Guess what showing they wanted to go to?

The midnight show.

Why?
Because she got out of work at Eleven.
Hello! I'm not awake at eleven on any given day, let alone coherent enough to spend money on a movie and WATCH IT!
I dropped my Little Man off at my mother's at nine, went home and took a nap. Yes, I had to take a nap before going to the theater, how sad am I? PLease take into consideration that any and every movie I saw when I was pregnant I have no memory of because I fell asleep every time. Daddy told me how many times he would look over at me and want to laugh because I was paying the theater nine bucks to nap in their stadium seats. (Which are not comfortable by any means.)
Okay, way off track...
The movie...
I liked it because it made me laugh at what we (men & women) go through during a break-up. We do some crazy shit, like trying to make the other jealous...it was very funny to look at it from the outside. (Not funny when we are actually going through it...) I like Vince Vaughn, he's funny. Jennifer Aniston- I will always see her as a Friend, but her character didn't give me the Friend vibe I thought it was. I think I liked it because of the reality of break-ups...though I imagine I would not be living with a person I just broke up with...
The different point-of-views help you understand that you're not the only one with the crazy psycho thoughts during a rough time.
I hated the very end. I guess I wanted the opposite to happen, and it didn't, so i hated it but it was realistic. Not everything has a happy ending in real life, right? (Did that give the ending away? Sorry...)
And I stayed awake through the whole thing! Yay me!
If this post sucked ass and the "review" of the movie didn't make any sense, I say: read the title of this post. I'm exhausted. I'm surprised I can speak in complete sentences today.

Some Mumbles.

I was going to write today. And then I got busy...so I am floating by...

• Um...EEEWWWWW. Wondering if it's true, wouldn't surprise me if it is.
• AN AMBER ALERT!!!!! Anyone in the Texas area, please keep your eyes out for the freakazoid bitch that took the cute baby.
• Nita, where the hell are you? I can't get on your page...are you still away? Don't make me start e-mailing you...When are we hitting the mall/park with the kiddos? (Tuesday, any idea what's up? Anybody? Bueller?)
• Daddy and I went to go see The Break-Up on Saturday night. Good movie. Funny as hell. More on that later.

Random and Unrelated

• What is the difference between brown eggs and white eggs? (Besides their color. I'm not THAT stupid.) My mother made a face when she saw I had brown eggs in my fridge, told me she only liked cooking white eggs. Is my mother racist against the chickens?! LOL. Do you have a preference? Is there really a difference? (I might end up googling it just to see what I find.)
• What a nightmare. Really, who can live with themselves after killing a five year old? Rot in hell, bastards.
• Someone sent me an e-mail telling me that the end of the world is next Tuesday 06-06-06. Just like the end of the world was going to be at the mark of the new millenium. If it ends, it ends, if it doesn't, it doesn't. Stop trying to scare me. I wish I could remember who sent me the e-mail so I could yell at them.
• I never watch T.V anymore, but I just read that the remake of The Omen is coming out on Tuesday. I'm thinking on telling Daddy we should go see that. I love scary movies.
• How pissed would you be if you woke up and saw this? Someone would have to die if it were me... (I'm going to have to remind my sister not to fall asleep at the beach...)

A New Baby

Gavin is here!!! Mommy and baby are doing well, she was on bedrest for a while, but he's here! Send her some love and a congrats. It's been a very hard journey for them.

HA!

I THOUGHT it was allergies...

but now I'm losing my voice. HELLO! I need my voice, I answer phones all day!
I'm sure you're tired of hearing of illnesses, but I had the worst coughing fit last night. I'm surprised I got any sleep. No more stuffy head, no more headache, just hurting lungs after the fit last night and now almost no voice.

OH! Something great has happened- my son no longer calls Elmo "lala". (He got "lala" from the song in case you didn't quite get that...) The other day he comes up to me holding one of his Elmo videos out and said "Melmo?" Cutest thing ever. I nearly melted. I kept asking him "Who?' just to hear him say it again. We're heading towards more talking! He says full sentences...in Chinese. We're trying to get an interpretor over to translate for us.

I'm googling

because an episode of the doodlebops peaked my curiosity...have you ever seen them without make-up?
I'm going to start googling more things...if I find any other interesting things I'll post 'em.

Memorial Day Weekend-Saturday and Sunday and Monday

Friday night Daddy and I were home watching t.v before bed, Little Man was already sleeping. Daddy's sister calls us to tell us she had Little Daddy, did we want him to spend the night? Hello, what kind of question is that? OF COURSE! We never get to see him, the last time we got to spend any time with him was Christmas. So she dropped him off. He was already sleeping, so we made a makeshift bed for him on the futon we have in the living room. Saturday morning he found his way into our bed, so we all cuddled and waited for Little Man to wake up. When he did he rubbed his eyes and noticed there was someone else there. Oh, the look on his face when he saw it was his big brother! The smile could have lit a room! They played and hugged and played and had breakfast together and watched Ice Age twice. We headed to the mall to get both the boys a new pair of sneakers and a few outfits. We didn't do much, we just hung out. It was good to have them together, and for Daddy to be able to finally spend time with both his boys together. I got a taste of what it would be like to have two kids. (and wouldn't you know, I liked it!) Of course the Bitch had to ruin everything and started calling telling us to drop Little Daddy off. So he ended up going home about five, and the Bitch was standing outside like we were trying to kidnap him. She was saying something along the lines of not giving us permission to take him, blah blah blah...we ignore her. Daddy pays his child support, he has every right to see his kid.
So that was Saturday.

Sunday-Nothing spectacular, We went to a friend's house for a cook-out. But it was boring. (He's one of Daddy's friends, I didn't meet him til recently.) His wife never even came outside, she was upset that there were other women there. (It was me and another friend's wife) Did she not notice that we were there with our husbands? I hate petty jealous women like that, so I was just playing with Little Man and counting down the time for us to leave.

Monday-We decided to head to the beach, but not for swimming...we wanted some clam cakes! Our friends .T. and .I. have a little boy (4) and twin girls (10 months), and Daddy's friend .P. and his wife .L. came over, so we packed the kids up and headed to Iggy's for some good seafood. I swear to you, they have the best doughboys (fried dough for those of you not from here) and clam cakes you have ever tasted. Their prices are great, so you can feed the family for the cost of food at a regular restaurant (maybe less!), but you have a great view of the beach and fresh air...sooooooo good. They should pay me to advetise for their place...
There was a county fair across the walkway, so we headed there and walked around for a while. We didn't play any of the games at the booths, we know they are just scams. (Even though you saw a gleam in Daddy's eye as we passed the basketball shooting game.)

That's it. Our weekend. It started off shitty, but went well for the most part. Nothing extravagant, but good enough for us.
I feel a little better, my head is still a little stuffy but at least the headache is gone. I hate pollen.

Memorial Day Weekend-Friday (Photo added)

I'm going to have to do this in parts, by day. Because my head still hurts and I can't breathe, so that's how it will go.
Friday Daddy comes home with a LOOK on his face. "I have something to show you." Uh-oh, what the hell is going on??? He takes the cell phone out of his pocket and I've already got this adrenaline thing going on, because when he has a LOOK, it's got to be serious. He starts fiddling with the phone, obviously searching for something. He hands the phone to me, and I see a picture of someone with the biggest blackest eye I have ever seen. I can't even tell who the person is.
Here is what happened: Daddy's sister's husband's grandfather lives with my SIL's MIL (his daughter) because he has Alzheimer's. His wife is already old and can't really take care of him so they both live in an In-Law apartment she (my SIL's MIL, we'll call her N.) fixed up for them. He (we'll call him Grampa since I don't have any living grandparents and don't speak of them anyway) has a tendency to walk off when no one is looking and gets lost because he can't remember where he is or where he lives...it's a sad sad thing. So on Thursday one of his other daughters wanted him to come over to her house and spend time with her and her family. He ended up spending the night, but at six a.m when his daughter woke up she realized Grampa was missing. All hell broke loose, the police were called and the search began. They found him hours later, walking down a side street in his pajama pants and a t-shirt full of blood. Someone punched him in the face numerous times while he was walking, that's all they could get out of him. (I'm already crying again I can't even think about this without tearing up) His eye was- IS- so swollen you can't even tell it's him. Who the hell would do such a thing? To an old man walking down a street? An old man who is so sweet and caring, even in his state he is the most lovable man around...especially in his state, because how can you not love a man who tells you every five minutes how beautiful you are? (He did that to me last summer) Who walks around giving kids quarters so they can go to the store and get goodies. A man who built his family a home with his own two hands and supported his many many children for years and now can't even remember your name even though you just told him...WHO COULD DO THAT??? How cold hearted do you really have to be?
He and his wife were put into a nursing home on Saturady morning. We know he will get better care there, but to his daughter, who has been taking care of both of them for years it is the biggest heartbreak she has ever gone through. No one wants to see their parents in a nursing home, but she know it's better for them.
I just can't even imagine who the hell would do something like that? How threatening could he have looked walking around in pajama pants and a fucking t-shirt?
I'm done for now. Hopefully I can squeeze Saturday in today, if not, then I'll be here tomorrow. I uploaded the picture Daddy showed me. I can't even look at it anymore, I may take it down.

*sniffle, cough, cough, sniffle.*

Yep, got sick on Memorial Day Weekend. I think it's mostly my allergies, since we slept with the windows open on Saturday night... I took Benadryl last night before bed, what a mistake that was, now I feel like my head is in a bubble. My sister called me yesterday to ask if I would meet her at the beach (she's such a beach bum) but as soon as I answered the phone she was like "Um, guess you're staying home, huh?"
I have a shitload of work to do since we were closed yesterday...and (great news!) the asshole packed the last of his things and is outta here!!!!! Now I will only have the Shitter here to bug me. (That will be his name, he is the one that's always asking me where the closed files are...he is the shitter because this man can bomb the office bathroom like nobody's business multiple times a day.)
Anyway, I will be back with some stories.
Hope you all had a safe weekend.

I need to leave you with something

I"m not working Monday! Woo-hoo! So here are some things for you:

• First, check out some people on my sidebar. They aren't there just for decoration. They are some good reading. Enjoy.
• Second, an idiotic moment: Dumb-ass agent: Do you know where the withdrawn files are?Me: In the file cabinet. Under "Withdrawn". Stupid. (And yes, it was the same guy!)

Have a great, safe weekend, full of BBQ's with good food. And don't forget to have a moment of silence, because without the soldiers, we would have no holiday this weekend.

Needs and Wants

I want another baby.
This is a conversation that will not happen in my house in the near future. Daddy doesn't want any more. Sure, he has another son from his Other Life, but we never get to see him (his mother is a whore and is still bitter that Daddy could be happy with someone else and punishes him by not letting him see Little Daddy. Bitch. But I'm not angry...), but I only have Little Man. Things were difficult when we first had Little Man, and we have finally found a comfort zone (of sorts) where we can actually eat everyday, and the car has gas, and Little Man has diapers. Well, you know, except for when the bank swallows our money. We are comfortable. Another baby would put us in a bind, because at some point I would have to stop working, meaning Daddy would be the only source of income. Then I would go back to work, but then we would have to pay the babysitter for two kids. So it makes sense to stay as we are. But I can't help but think that my Little Man will be lonely. I don't have him in day care, even though now there are two other kids at his sitter's house. But they aren't his brother and sister.
I don't know.
This was just a thought that has been going through my head recently. Maybe now that I wrote it I can forget about it and stay in my comfortable life...
I need to stay in my comfortable life, I don't want to struggle the way we did when Little Man first came ever again.
But I want another baby...

Don't have much to say

so here are some things I read in the news today:

• It's a sad sad thing when you read that this guy didn't even know them...rot in hell bastard.
• Was he thinking his lawyer could get him off??? And then he realized he couldn't so...
• Again, I'm not a person to condone suicide, but seriously, why can't people leave their family alone and just kill themselves? Why do they have to punish their families?!?

Sometimes they don't make me angry...

They just make me laugh at myself:

Good morning, company name here, how can I help you?
Yeah, agent who is not in the office, please.
I'm sorry, he's not in the office right now would you like his voicemail?
Is there another number I can reach him at? (*Exactly how he said it*)
I can give you this number: blah blah blah.
I'm sorry I didn't have a pen ready. Can you repeat that?
Sure. blah blah blah.
Thank you. One more thing, is he an orphan?
Tires screeching in my head. What the hell did he just ask me????
Excuse me?
(slower) Is he in often?

I need to get my hearing checked...I've been living in this state for years and I still hear things wrong when they speak too fast...
***Did you know that "D'jeet?" translates into "Did you eat?" Yeah, it took me a while to get that one. Go ahead, say it out loud, you'll get a kick out of it.***

I have proof I didn't oversleep...

Bossman, I was seven minutes late to work today because a Jeep and an 18 wheeler decided they could not live without eachother, and they decided to cuddle on the road I take to work. Please understand. Thank you.
Besides, what mommy with a young child oversleeps?


***Edited to add: my boss doesn't know what time I come in, nor does he care, he is never around so early. It's now 4 p.m and he hasn't even set foot in this office today. Must be nice...

I may have to change the name of this blog...*

I'm lucky to not have to work weekends anymore, I get to sleep in (until 8! Yay!) and get to spend the time with Daddy and my Little Man. I don't get up till Little Man kicks me in the face or kisses me, depending on his mood. This past Saturday, the boy was feeling lovable I woke up to him rubbing my face. I put him on the couch in the living room with Elmo on the t.v while I went to brush my teeth and put my eyeballs in...here is how I left him: (I took the pic since he looked so cute.) (And yes, he is wearing sneakers, he insists on putting them on.) So I did my thing and I come back to the living room to check on him, and here is how he was: "Lala" was thrown to the floor. Pushed aside. Shunned from the couch area. Then the boy looked at me and said "Bear." He wanted me to take Elmo off the t.v and put Bear in the Big Blue House on. WOW. I did it, how else would I have avoided the meltdown that was sure to follow?
He still loves his Elmo, but now Bear is becoming a common name in our household. (Don't tell Elmo about my sons new love...)What do you think of the name "Stuck in the Big Blue House" ? Not as catchy, huh? Sounds like I'm being held prisoner...
Oh Disney, look what you do to us!
*I'm not changing the name.*
*Sorry if I made it sound like I had some juicy gossip. This was it. I just thought it was cute. I'm a sucker for cute.*

Ch-ch-ch-changes!

*Isn't that a song? Name that tune! (Because I can't remember...)
Mighta been aerosmith...
anyway!
There are going to be some changes here soon. Like template changes. Like custom-made. I have previewed said changes and I must say... I likey.
That's all right now. I have a post in the works about my child's cheating ways, but I didn't upload the pics last night (what's a story without pics for proof?), and now it'll have to wait for tomorrow. How's that for suspense?
Until tomorrow...

We're off to a bad start here...

(I will be in red because it will reflect the fire I have in my eyes right now.) (Don't look into my eyes, you may melt.)
Good morning, company name here, how can I help you?
Yeah I'd like to speak to woman who doesn't work here anymore.
I'm sorry, sir, she is no longer in this office, but I can give you her cell phone number if you'd like to reach her there.
I don't want her cell phone number, I've already called her there, and she hasn't returned my phone call.
Well, I'm sorry to hear that, but she no longer works in this office-
(interrupting me)Well, can you tell me where she works now? Isn't it the same company?
Well, sir, I'm not sure which office she is currently working in. All she left me was her cell phone number to give to anyone who called here for her, that is the only information I have. And no, it is not the same company, every office is owned by a different person.
Well, I've been leaving her messages for two weeks.
*Sigh*.maybe she doesn't want to talk to you, asshole. Well, she doesn't have a voicemail system here anymore, so the only thing I can do is offer you her cell phone number again.
Why is it so hard to get in touch with real estate agents? These fuckin-
*Click* Hung up on me.

I am not a real estate agent. I don't sell houses, I don't buy houses. All I do here is answer the damn phone. I don't know where they are if they aren't in the office, I don't keep tabs on them all hours of the day. If they aren't answering the phone, I don't know why because I'm at a desk in an office and they are not. If they are at an appointment, they will not answer the phone. If they are home sleeping, they will not answer the phone. Don't take it out on me, I'm just here to answer the phone. I do not physically take their hand and dial numbers for them, so it is their responsibility to return phonecalls, not mine.
Aaaaaauuuuggggghhhh! It's so early on a Monday and I'm working on a great headache...

Some Friday Stuff

Two jokes I read on this site:
An old man and woman were married for many years, even though they hated each other. When they had a confrontation, screaming and yelling could be heard deep into the night. The old man would shout, "When I die, I will dig my way up and out of the grave and come back and haunt you for the rest of your life!" Neighbors feared him. They believed he practiced black magic, because of the many strange occurrences that took place in their neighborhood. The old man liked the fact that he was feared. To everyone's relief, he died of a heart attack when he was 68. His wife had a closed casket at the wake. After the burial, she went straight to the local bar and began to party, as if there was no tomorrow. Her neighbors, concerned for her safety, asked, "Aren't you afraid that he may indeed be able to dig his way up and out of the grave and come back to haunt you for the rest of your life?" The wife put down her drink and said, "Let him dig. I had the bastard buried upside down..."

A senior citizen in Florida bought a brand new Corvette convertible. He took off down the road, flooring it to 80 mph and enjoying the wind blowing through what little hair he had left on his head. "This is great," he thought as he roared up I-75. He pushed the pedal to the metal even more. Then he looked in his rear view mirror and saw a highway patrol trooper behind him, blue lights flashing and siren blaring. "I can get away from him with no problem" thought the man and he tromped it some more and flew down the road at over 100 mph. Then 110, 120 mph.
Then he thought, "What am I doing? I'm too old for this kind of thing." He pulled over to the side of the road and waited for the trooper to catch up with him. The trooper pulled in behind the Corvette and walked up to the man. "Sir," he said, looking at his watch. "My shift ends in 10 minutes and today is Friday. If you can give me a reason why you were speeding that I've never heard before, I'll let you go." The man looked at the trooper and said, "Years ago my wife ran off with a Florida State Trooper, and I thought you were bringing her back"
"Have a good day, Sir," said the Trooper


Some people have way too much time on their hands. (Pun intended? maybe...) (The cans are cool though...)

Thank goodness they were able to save this baby. I'm so glad the nurses spoke up. I hope the baby will be okay.

My kid is just like your kid...

My son is not in daycare. He stays with Daddy's aunt during the day while we are at work. He loves her, she loves him, it's all about love. (And she's working on getting him to call her Lela, instead of Ma, which thankfully he hasn't done in a while anyway.) I have her take him because she is way cheaper than daycare, but sometimes I wonder if I'm depriving him of the social experience of daycare....
I had another "I'm not the only one!" moment just yesterday as I picked him up from her house. She has new tenants on the third floor of her house, and the mommy needed to step out for a moment and left her two kids with Lela. (We can call her that, too. It's a kid's way of saying of Grandma in spanish...abuela, lela...don't look at me like that.) Two kids= a four year old girl and a six month old boy. This is how Lela told me the story (between fits of laughter, she thought it was hilarious.) The baby was in the swing just being a baby and Little Man goes and gives him a kiss. Little Man starts patting the baby, talking gibberish to him, and is holding the baby's hand, being all nice. So Lela notices that Little Man is leaning in for what seems like another kiss, and BITES THE BABY'S HAND! Lela is trying to hold her laughter as she tells Little Man "No!" and tells him biting is bad. He doesn't do it again, but she watches him extra close when he is near the baby.
When I get into the car, I'm thinking of Zach and his Daycare 90210 drama, and I practically slap myself on the forehead. If Little Man were in daycare, I would have had lots of incident reports by now I'm sure. He probably would have already gotten kicked out. My question is, where the hell do they learn this? We don't bite little Man at home, not even playing. He has not tried biting us, so I never would have thought he would be trying cannibalism already... Of course, when I told Daddy he laughed (I don't think it's funny) and said "They all do that."
Okay.
When does it stop???
When I dropped him off this morning, the little boy was there again. My son ignored me to go and "play" with the baby, didn't even notice me leave. My son just loves everyone. Hopefully he won't put BBQ sauce on the baby when no one is looking...

Stuck Up Mommy

Yesterday my son had a well-visit at the doctor. My boy measures at 32.5 inches! and 23 lbs! (That's it? He eats everything in sight!) He's already halfway up to me... at this rate he'll be taller than me by the time he's five. (And what is it about the doc's office that intimidates me? When he asks questions, I stumble over each one... like when he asked if Little Man is saying any words, I could only say yes, I couldn't think of any of the words!)
Anyhoo- I took the afternoon off work so I could take him to the appt. and I ended up meeting my sister at the mall. They have a new play area on the first floor, equipped with a changing table, a reading area, and a nice soft carpet. My sister and I were the only ones there for a while, then comes in a very well-dressed mommy with her cute little four or five year old daughter. Mommy was dressed in perfectly creased jeans (I didn't know people still did that!) with high heels, her fake pony tail reached the middle of her back. My son stood looking at her cute daughter, smiling. A friend at last! Now let me start off by saying, I'm totally not judging. She's a mommy, I'm a mommy, my sister is a god-mommy, we're part of the same world. I noticed from the corner of my eye that this mommy wouldn't let her cute daughter near my son. My boy kept playing around, my sister would get into the playhouse with him and run around, but he kept looking at the cute daughter hoping she would come and play, too. At some point, the mommy took her high heels off and played with her daughter, but if my son went near them she would move away. I grabbed my son and sniffed him to see if he stunk. No poop. I checked his hands, no stickiness. Why was she treating my son like he had the plague?
My sister gave me A LOOK.
I know! I mouthed to her.
So we continue playing with my boy and after a while a few other mommies started coming in. The look on my sons face when he saw another little boy saying "Car!" was priceless. There was a mommy with two boys and a few month old girl, a daddy with another boy...I look over at the mommy with the cute daughter. Gone.
I looked at my sister. She laughed. "I guess she doesn't like other mommies!"
I smiled at the other mommies/daddy there, our children were playing together, it's nature. I'm sorry if that other mommy felt my son was invading her and her cute daughter's space, but I brought my child to a PUBLIC PLACE, I wasn't expecting the play area to be exclusively hers. I hope that little girl doesn't grow up with the same mentality her mother has, because she will be very, very lonely.

Please sign this petition

It's important...

Tired of bad parenting stories?

Well, don't read this then, because yesterday was a day for bad parenting.
Scene: Early morning in our household, normal hustle and bustle as Daddy and I try to hurry out the door and begin our trek to our jobs. Usually Daddy drives, so since Little Man's car seat is behind the passenger seat, I am the one who puts him in, straps him and we leave. Yesterday, Daddy walked out with Little Man and I scooped him up and dunked him in his seat. Big smiles since I was holding the milk. Suddenly I remember that I forgot something inside and run to go get it. (I can't remember now what IT was.) Off we go to fight traffic...(Nita, you know 195!)
We get to Daddy's job and we're saying bye's and see you later's when Little man says "Mama" from the back. He never calls out to me when he's saying good-bye to Daddy so I look back, and the boy is holding the seatbelt strap out to me. The seatbelt strap he should have been wearing. The seatbelt strap that I didn't put on him.
After we both scramble to get the straps on him, I felt like shiiiiiiiit. All the what if's started racing through my head, and I couldn't be more thankful that the trip to Daddy's job never has us going more than 20 mph. On my way to the babysitter's I stopped to laugh for a moment, because I realized I'm not the only one who has done this. I was distracted, I made a bad move by going back into the house without strapping him in first...but we all do stuff like this. I'm just so grateful nothing happened.
This morning I checked his straps twice.

Turn away Latteman...

girl talk is about to commence. And if you do read this, don't say I didn't warn you.
Ladies, I need your input.
Back story: After I weaned Little Man off the boobage, I got on the Depo shot. (World-wide groan just heard...) Daddy and I were not taking any risks to having two under two, and my ob was basically telling me it was the easiest thing to be on with my new hectic Mommy schedule. What he didn't say was that it was the easiest thing to be on if I wanted to gain all my baby weight back plus!!! I had lost my baby weight in about two months...and gained it back in three more. In December I made the decision to not go back for the dreaded shot, that I would wait for my period to begin (since it totally stopped-and yes, now IN MAY is when I'm starting to see signs of it coming back) so I can clean my system, and get on something else. This is where I get stuck. I don't know what else to get on...(BCP are not an option...) and I would prefer it not be hormonal. Yeah, I should be discussing this with my ob, but since my luck gave me the one doctor in the office rotation that I didn't like, I'm bringing it here. (My ob's office consists of seven Dr.'s and whoever is on call delivers you baby then becomes your ob permanently.)
So any of you that have an input, leave it here. I'm taking suggestions from everyone and anyone. Let me know what worked/works for you...what's comfortable...what's easier (because i still have a hectic Mommy schedule)...

Now for why I hate the fact that my period disappeared for more than a year, and why I told Latteman to look away:
the first period after all that time will kill you. I haven't even fully started it yet, and last night I was laid out on the couch under a fleece blanket hunched over from the cramps. Thank goodness my Little Man will follow anyone who will entertain him and doesn't give Daddy a hard time because I was dy-ing. And as of this morning, I have only been passing little clots, which is all the gross crap that has been stored away in my uterus for the past year...and it hurts. And its gross. And I never want to do this again. (Fuck you Depo) I liked not having a period, but this part (and the weight gain) sucks.
*Edited to add- I lightened the graphics so as not to chase away what few readers I have anyway. Latteman, if you ended up reading this anyway, it didn't turn out as bad as I planned and I could have changed the title, but I didn't. Just because it seemed fun. I have cramps and you can't be mean cause I'll bite. (I really like that dinosaur, I should make it my profile pic, since it look just like me)

The good, the bad, and ugh, that's it.

The good:
I had a good Mother's Day. No presents (except from my mother but at that point I was so sick to my stomach i didn't even want them.) but I spent the day with Daddy and Little Man. No fighting (except when we wouldn't let Little Man play Uno with us), no screaming (except when we tickled Little Man), no bruises (until Little Man ran into my mother's wall at the end of the night.) It was good.
The bad:
The reason I didn't get anything was because Daddy was planning on taking me shopping (!) on Sunday. So on Saturday I was balancing our checkbook and according to the automated bank line, we were in the negative. We both deposited both of our checks on Thursday, they cleared on Friday. The money should have been there. So now I'm freaking out because we have NO MONEY. I don't care about presents, we have no money for gas, for diapers, for FOOD, FOR MILK...
We have spent no money except for necesities, which would NOT put us in anything negative, so a fight with the bank is in order. So I spent most of Saturday pacing the house, sick to my stomach, ignoring everyone's bullshit about "It's probably just a fluke." and "It'll be there Monday." No. Our money goes in Thursday, ALWAYS, and is there right away. All of our savings don't just disappear. I'm still sick to my stomach. After a few unsuccessful attempts to get my statement faxed to my job, i think I'm going to have to miss a morning to go and investigate, you know, because at this point I can afford to and all. And I'm sure my gas tank will reserve every bit of gas I have in there to make the trip...
ugh. I can't write anymore.
And I'd like to point out that this has happened at the exact time my son runs out of diapers AND milk. Cloud of Doom...


*Five minutes later: I don't know why I'm back here. Maybe because I don't want to complain to Daddy anymore, and everyone else seems to not care because Hey! It's not their bank account that's getting fucked with. They aren't worried of their child starving tonight, they aren't worried of getting stranded because Hondas don't run on air alone. I just want to rip my hair out. I am so pissed that this is happening, we've been working so hard to save money, and we haven't been doing any stupid spending. And now it's EMPTY. EMPTY. EMPTY. WHY??????????? WHY IS THIS HAPPENING???? WHY CAN'T THE FUCKING UNIVERSE LEAVE MY FAMILY ALONE FOR ONCE?????? FUCK!!!!!!!!

Dear Mr. President

Mom 101 had this posted on her site, but I wanted to put it here so anyone who doesn't read her (stupid me, who doesn't read her, huh?) can see/hear it. This is my new favorite song.
And here is a news article that might start a riot...