Tuesday, November 22, 2005

More questions than answers

No one can have an accident like me. I am officially going to start working as a crash-test dummy.
My car accidents are usually just other people being magnetized to my car somehow, and it always seems like they always hit the drivers side. (Which is why Little Man's car seat is behind the passenger side...)
My worst accident had to have been the Explorer in Jan '04.
I was given a Ford Explorer by my father in July 2003, sort of trying to make ammends for his not being around throughout my childhood. I loved my Dora- that's what I named the truck- Dora the Explorer. I could make a trip to the beach with my closest friends, fit all the blankets and coolers and still be able to sit comfortably. And miraculously, nobody had to move in the time I had the truck.
January 25, 2004 my mother asked me for a ride to the bus station, she was going to Boston for a business trip. (I lived with her at the time, Daddy and I weren't sooo serious.) So I take her to the bus station, say good-bye and drive off. I stopped at a CVS on my way home and realized I didn't have my house keys-why I didn't have them connected to my car keys is STILL beyond me.
So Daddy calls me while I'm getting into the truck, we had plans to get together later in the day. I tell him "I can't talk right now, I have to try to make it to the bus station before my mother's bus leaves to get the keys. I'll call you as soon as I get home." I get back on the highway , it was a sunny Saturday morning, and there was actually no traffic. So I'm doing about 60-65 when I see this black car in front of me, going VERY slow...so i start slowing down, but when I'm closer I realize the stupid car is STOPPED on the fucking HIGHWAY. I had to swerve so I wouldn't hit him- I didn't want to damage Dora! But the truck grew a brain of its own and I remember the truck spinning on a two-lane highway and I was facing the wrong way...
the truck smashed the metal guardrail, I hit my head on the steering wheel with the impact and passed out.
I could hear someone screaming and hands pulling at me, shaking me, someone asking "Is she alive?
Is she moving?"
I open my eyes-or tried to...all I saw was blood everywhere. I look out my windshield and see a street- not highway, a city street...
"What the-" I'm thinking...
There is a woman standing next to my truck, dressed in a black cocktail dress. A man standing behind her in a tux, he was the one asking her the questions.
Her: "Honey you just had an accident, don't move-"
Him: "Don't you think we should get her out-"
Her: "What if something is broken-"
Him: "What if the truck sets on fire-"
Me: "OH MY GOD-"
I start freaking out. I finally realized the blood was coming FROM ME!
Him: "I've already called for an ambulance-"
Her: "Is there anyone we should call-"
She doesn't wait for an answer- mainly because I'm starting to hyperventilate, she grabs my cell phone from wherever it had fallen and just pressed talk. My last phonecall was Daddy- it autodialed him. She told him what happened and I'm still trying to figure out why the hell I'm looking at a city street- I was just on the highway- but my head is starting to hurt, and there is still blood coming from somewhere...
I think I passed out again because suddenly I'm in an ambulance and I'm getting needles and oxygen and questions...
There is a cop standing over me asking me if i'd had anything to drink, and there is the lady in the cocktail dress telling another cop that the truck flipped at least four times down the embankment...
I'm trying to process this but my head hurts sooooo bad...
I just want to sleep.
And I do...
I wake up in the hospital to nurses and more needles and blood pressure cuffs and-WAIT! what happened to my clothes?!?!
Finally everything slows down and someone is putting some type of glue over my eye "to prevent scarring so you can keep that pretty face."
And then I was left in a small room on a stretcher with a vomit bin.
My sister walks in, I could tell she had been crying but she smiled through it and said "God, if you wanted attention you could have just called me, you didn't have to do all this."
I laughed, but it hurt so bad.
"Everyone is here, Daddy called all of us-do you want them in here?"
I nod.
The nurse says only two people can come in at a time, Daddy comes in by himself.
"Nice face." He says and pushes my hair away from the glue.
"Thanks, I worked on it all day."
I shove the mirror back at him.
He doesn't know what to say, so he offers to let a couple more people come in.
Wonderful friends- someone told me he made it to the hospital before the ambulance did.
I go home the next day, arms full of icepacks for my swollen-shut eye.
My mother was still on her business trip- no one told her what happened so she wouldn't worry.
Daddy stayed with me the whole week.
We took a drive on the highway where I crashed and I wanted to cry when I saw how mangled the guardrail was...
How did I survive that?
I wasn't wearing my seatbelt...
All I have is a small inch-sized scar right under my eyebrow...
We went to the towing place that had my truck to sign the paperwork for it to be junked...the whole front left side was smashed. No windows broken, no squashed roof. The tow guy said it must have landed on its tires everytime it flipped because the truck was about two feet closer to the ground and the suspension was shot.
But I went down an embankment...how the hell....?
I'm still left with more questions than answers.
Daddy and I still talk about it to this day, lots of what-if's.
That was when we decided we would be together.
Two weeks later our son was conceived.
He won't let me get another truck, now I drive an Accord...
I wish I knew who the lady in the cocktail dress and the man in the tux were, I wish I could thank them for stopping. What if no one had seen me? There was construction being done on the street I landed on, no cars were allowed in the area, and it was Saturday- no construction workers.
I feel bad because obviously they were going somewhere important and I got blood all over them. (The EMT told me they ended up taking me out of the truck.) So to the lady in the cocktail dress and the man in the tux- Thanks. I could have died. And my son would probably not be here...
I love you without knowing you.
You saved me without knowing me.

Crazy/Hip Blog-Mamas

No comments: