Sunday, May 06, 2007

Does anyone else feel this way???

That you just need a fucking break.
That you want to have a day just to yourself.
That you wish everyone would just leave you the fuck alone.

GOD!

Becoming a SAHM overnight has been...an adjustment to say the least. It is weird going from working full time and wanting to be with your kid to actually doing it. But I need a day off. I really do. It seems that this child of mine has developed some non-listening habits that I HATE. Today while Daddy was in the shower I yelled at my son because he didn't listen to me the first four times I asked him to stop doing something. So Daddy came out of the shower talking shit to me.
"Why do you have to yell?"
"Why can't he listen?"
"You don't have to yell Diana."
"Tell him to listen and I WON'T."
"Say things to him softly, he'll listen."
"Okay, stupid, if he had listened when I said it the first four times I wouldn't have had to yell."

I'm frustrated.

I feel helpless because the Unemployment has yet to arrive and I feel like whatever I clean in the house is fucked up five minutes later by this little monster. I can't win. It's ridiculous already.
I cried to Daddy the other day: "I have to find a job. I can't be like this."
"Just take advantage of any time you can take off...you won't be able to go to school if you get another job."
"But there's no money.."
"We're fine."
"But-"
"We. Are. Fine."
"but-"
"There's food in the fridge, gas in the cars, and we still pay rent. We are fine."

He's great. but I'm frustrated.
I need a day off.

When can I get a sick day?

19 comments:

Alison ~ Email me ~ ajvivona@verizon.net said...

I feel your frustration. As a SAHM of a 3yr old I just recently said to my husband "do you realize I have the hardest job in the world with the lowest pay in the world?" which he gave me a blank stare for. UGH!

Iris said...

I was a SAHM......now I am a work full time single mom.....of 4... and you know what?? I need breaks too!!!! And not breaks from work at home with kids......not breaks from kids at work.....breaks.......no kids...no work...no mother.....just me, and a bottle of wine.....and my TV. I may let the cat join me if he sits really still and quiet.

Tuesday Girl said...

A break? What is that?

It is hard, but remember the house doesn't have to sparkle every minute of the day and I am sure you son is so happy to have you with him all day.

dennis said...

when I was SAHDing I had one night a week that when wife.imp got home I was walking out the door.

Me time. I did not have to say where I was going or when I was going to get home.

I went to a coffee shop and wrote, but it was just my time...

nita said...

you gotta make time for just you. it's crucial. i get saturday mornings. cru.cial. do it. he's great, he'll get it if you explain it slowly .... :) mazel tov. this is the spot where the universes all collide. at once the BEST and the WORST things in the world! yay you!

Maria said...

I agree with Dennis. Tell your husband that one night a week, you need him to handle things at home while you go out.Even just for an hour can be helpful.

The hard part is when you return. That is what used to be the killer part for me. I would come home to find dirty dishes all over the sink and toys on the floor. Liv would be in bed with CHOCOLATE on her mouth and pillowcase.

I had to let it go. And that is the hard part. But...yeah...just keep putting one foot in front of the other and keep going.

That sounds so pat, but it works.

Or...tell your husband that the next big purchase needs to be a computer so that you can blog more often. I'm not kidding, blogging can save your life.

momsgoneloony said...

Hell...welcome to my world.

MamaLee said...

yes yes yes yes yesssssssssss!

Mama of 2 said...

To answer your question Diana...all I can say is a resounding

YES!!!!

Coma Girl said...

Wow. I was just going to write a post about my morning, but I think you and I had the same morning, so I can just put a link to your post ;)

I hope your day got better after that.

Diana said...

Testing......

Diana said...

this stupid thing wont let me write a post...i'm surprised it let me log in...any suggestions???

supermom_in_ny said...

Diana,
Girl, I know you're pain. 7 kids...need I say more. Listen, check this site out.
MAKE MONEY ONLINE

Let me know if you have any questions. You can earn a decent living from home. I'll write about it. You'll see....

Check out the website and email me or leave me a comment. I didn't even know you weren't working anymore. I've been so busy with the kids and making money that I haven't had a chance to read my fave blogs.

It will be ok. EMAIL ME!

sourpatchbaby said...

Diana!!! Where are you!!!!

Oh, The Joys said...

Hang in there. It's so HARD!!

sweatpantsmom said...

Oh, I feel your pain. Your first three sentences says it all. We've all been there.

You absolutely do need a break. Can you steal a few hours at a coffee shop, alone, while the husband watches the baby?

Oh Hi, It's Me said...

I usually schedule a haircut or something reallllly early on Saturday morning, and then since I'm already out, I stay out for awhile. Go get coffee, go read somewhere, go walk around, whatever -- until you're ready to go home. Trust me, you won't have missed a thing while you were gone. He'll manage.

(SAHM of 4, HOME since 1995)

feener said...

YES !!!

Kim said...

Sounds ever so familiar. I have a three year old who just doesn't listen and she recently refuses to take naps - so I don't have that 2 hour break anymore and defnitley no alone time b/c I have a two month old as well. I feel your pain. I look forward to the weekends when my husband helps outs and I steal a few moments of alone time here and there. Tell your hubby That alone time is a requirement and go get a pedicure and a latte or margarita- for your SANITY! :)Gook Luck.