Friday, March 30, 2007

Ummm, no thanks, we'll see them on t.v

I heard a commercial on the radio at work announcing "Doodlebops LIVE! Get your tickets today!" so I called my sister, becasue she's always saying how she would loooove to take Little man to one of their shows since he likes them so much. She told me to find out how much the tickets were, and to call her back.


EIGHTY DOLLARS PER PERSON to see these annoying ass human/puppets LIVE!
and that's only the price for tickets in the third balcony section (AKA almost nosebleed seats), not even the floor section which is where all the action is, where the kids have room to jump and dance along. They didn't have prices listed for the floor section, which I guess is better off because the $80 was enough to send me straight to the little red X in the corner...
I called my sister and told her to forget about it, I wasn't going to let her pay that much to take him to a freakin' show...we'll keep them on t.v thanks.

Thursday, March 29, 2007


It's interesting (read:funny) to watch someone who doesn't have children interact with kids. Blondie had a few clients coming in and her husband was too far to pick her son up from school and watch him while she had the meeting, so she brought him to the office hoping he would sit quietly while she had these papers signed.
He's six, and the fact that he's a BOY (read:active and unable to sit still) well, it wasn't going to happen.
The Shitter is in the office (as always) and he does not have children. He is married to a crabby old lady (probably why he's always here bugging me) and they have three cats together, more than enough for them.
The Shitter is trying to entertain the six year giving him Real Estate books to read...
The Shitter really asked the kid if he wanted to learn spanish. The kid asked him if HE knew spanish, The Shitter says "No, but I thought you could teach yourself by reading a spanish Real Estate book."
The kid was going to put a book away, and The Shitter tried telling him where it went, and the kid (like every other kid in the world) couldn't find where it went, The Shitter got all frustrated at the fact that the kid didn't listen the first time, and as he tried to explain to the kid where to put the book you could hear his voice getting a little louder and shaky...
Right now the kid is sitting quietly in Beantown's office playing on the computer, while The Shitter is probably rocking himself back to sanity in the corner of his own office...

Just plain crazy

We have discovered that my son is allergic to peanut butter.

Did you all just picture the sheer bloatedness of a two-year olds face when they eat something they are allergic to? Because it's a horrible sight, let me tell you.

At the age of one, because my mother is an old-school mom and doesn't give a shit what docs say ("I gave you peanut butter when you were three months old and you were fine!") my mother gave my son a peanut butter sandwich. And he was fine. I told her never to give it to him again if I wasn't around, or I'd have to kick her in the knees. She might have listened, I'm not sure. I do know she gave him Nutter Butters, (which I love) and still, nothing. So yay! My son wasn't allergic to peanut butter!
Then one day when he was still with the old babysitter, she gave him a cookie when we were walking out, and he seemed to swell a bit after the cookie. I gave him benadryl and he was cleared up in seconds. I called the babysitter to ask her what kind of cookie it was, she said it was a homemade peanut butter cookie.
There was one day I made my son a peanut butter and jelly sandwich because that was what his daddy was eating for lunch, he took one bite and spit it out. He wouldn't eat the sandwich.
Another day we were at my sister's house, and she eats peanut butter off a spoon, something she has done since she was a kid. (Households having peanut butter and no bread to put it on...) My son asked for a lick. We got into the car and headed out for a drive, and in the car my son's head grew three sizes. You already know the phonecalls to the doctor that were made, the quick stop at the pharmacy for benadryl because I wasn't carrying it with me...the waiting for the swelling to go down, the guilt my sister felt. Ten minutes later he was fine, sleeping from being doped up.
So no peanut butter for my son.

But here's the weird thing, he isn't allergic to peanuts, or any nuts for that matter. It must be something IN the peanut butter. My husband was eating a cookie that had walnuts in it, gave the boy a bite (okay like five bites) and then I yelled at him ("Oh, shit I forgot..."), and we watched and nothing happened.
One day one of Daddy's friends gave my son a few peanut M&M's (why do people just hand things to kids???) and when I noticed, the kid had swallowed them before I could take them away. So we watched. And nothing.
I have to remember to ask his doctor about this...for now I will ask you guys if you have gone through this with any allergies with your kids. (I keep forgetting because the only time I talk to the doctor is about an ear infection or puking... yeah, horrible mommy...)

Wednesday, March 28, 2007

Yes they are gay but they are still MEN!

Only three out of the nine men that work in my office are straight. So that leaves me with six men who think my husband is hot (don't tell Daddy that LOL!) and would kill for my shoes and hair.
I went into the bathroom yesterday and saw that the toilet paper roll was empty, with a new roll on top of the EMPTY toilet roll thingie...
only some of the gay men had been in the office at that point...
so even though they are gay, THEY ARE STILL MEN!

Tuesday, March 27, 2007

Okay, is today Monday or Tuesday?

I hate not being at work on Mondays, it screws up my whole week.

Daddy was up all night Sunday night thinking he was going to throw up...he never did. We wasted a day at home...

On Saturday we did get to the car wash to wash his new beloved. It was a gorgeous day out, so we called Friend and her family, we went to have breakfast and then on to the car wash...where Daddy and Little Man gave Daddy's new mistress some shine. That's Daddy's car. We call it the Christmas Tree because of the 'different' color scheme it's got going...This is the car that Little Man loves being in. He has literally cried real tears because I don't go and pick him up at daycare with the Tree. Now that I'm only driving the Tree, he is content, though he did make sure to tell me the other day "Mommy, I like your car. But I loooove Daddy's car." Daddy couldn't have been more proud.
Oh, I haven't mentioned that I haven't even driven my own car yet, huh? Yeah, the day after everything was checked and the car was finally registered and insured Selfish calls that her car broke down and she was wondering if she could borrow one of our cars for a 'couple of days' while her car was in the's been eight days. EIGHT! Daddy says he's about to let her borrow the Tree just so we can get to drive my car, I tell him not to worry about it. I'm going to have plenty of time to drive my car...but still, dude...arghhhhhhh.
So yeah-those pictures were taken with my new toy. Nice huh? I haven't taken too many pictures yet, I'm still getting to know my new baby...but they'll be coming. You guys will be sick of pictures by next month, watch.

Friday, March 23, 2007

I got a new toy!!!

(Sorry Mamalee and Tuesday, it's not the rabbit! LOL!)

I got me a brand spankin' new digital camera!
So you're all going to be flooded with pictures whether you like it or not, because this shiny new toy of mine is going to be over used throughout the summer to catch up with all the stuff I been missing because of my stupid camera phone.
Daddy knows I've been wanting a digital for some time now, and I think he might have felt bad when I told him I was probably the LAST human on earth to not have a last night (he felt better when I got home from work, yay!) he looks at me and said "You want to go camera shopping?" My eyes must have glazed over, he laughed at me. Everytime we go into a store with digitals I go and lust after them, testing them out, touching them, getting a feel for them. And I always have to put them back down, wipe my drool and walk away because the people start looking at me funny...
I couldn't have packed Little Man's diaper bag any faster.
Into the store we walked, with reinforcements-my Friend, her husband and demon child, and one of Daddy's friends who is an expert at these types of purchases. .P. works building computers and such things so he can get me the scoop on what these greedy salespeople won't tell me. Yes, it became a family affair. You can't make important purchases like this without back-up...
When I finally got MY CAMERA into my hands I knew it was the one. 7.1 megapixels, 10 second video with audio (more with an upgraded memory card) and all this other stuff that is really chinese to me, but .P. tells me are good things. (Hey, if it can take a nice picture, I'm good!) So we look at the box and the paper that tells us everything that comes with the camera and we are satisfied that it is now MY CAMERA!

Of course you know there is a bad side to all of this...
Isn't there always???

The memory card didn't come with the camera.

We had gone to the store at 8:30, just before they closed, so by the time we got home and opened the box (which very clearly says the memory card is INSIDE) and didn't find a memory card, it was too late to go back. So another trip to Best Crooks is in order for when we get out of work today. So I couldn't play with my new toy too much last night, as the camera only holds 3, yes, THREE photos when there is no memory card.

I don't care, really, I know the memory card is a cheap-o that will only hold like fifty photos, but still don't sell me a camera that is SUPPOSED TO INCLUDE IT, and doesn't. I know I was going to buy a new memory card, but I didn't want to have to do it NOW. I wanted to get to know my camers first, buy it dinner, take it for a romantic walk in the park, really get to know it...

Whatever. New toy=happiness in the Stuck household.

Thursday, March 22, 2007

Like father like son...again

Daddy is sick, too, now.
Last time Little man was sick, he was sick, too.
It's a conspiracy, I tell you. Daddy has a cold, though, and felt his throat hurting him this morning. I called him out of work and told him to keep his behind in bed. Little Man didn't wanna stay home. Says a lot about my house huh? LOL!

Last night I went to Wally World to get some essentials (and vitamin C. I"M NOT GETTING SICK!) and by the time I got home, they were both sound asleep. It was seven o'clock. So now I had no one to cook dinner for, no one to bug me. So I started to wipe the house with Lysol (I AM NOT GETTING SICK!)
Daddy got up to drink some medicine and sat on the (other) couch (away from me I AM NOT GETTING SICK!) to watch some t.v with me. I fell asleep by nine.

Little Man slept through the night, so I couldn't give him any meds last night, so the fun antibiotic was started this morning. I put it in his milk, because it is not flavored and I stupidly forgot to ask the technician to flavor it...even though he should have thought to ask me when he saw the script was for a child. What child actually likes drinking meds?

I didn't really sleep since Daddy kept getting up to blow his nose. The little sleep I got was filled with bad dreams- why is it that when you're dead tired you get the worst dreams that exhaust you even more? (Edited to add- the dream I remember the most was when the girlfriend of a friend went into the bathroom while Daddy was taking a shower because she wanted to see his penis. She asked him if she could take a picture of it. I woke up wanting to kill her...)

Wednesday, March 21, 2007

I was called an Outstanding Mother...

Really, I was. And it was by the man who was probably thinking I was an asshole for not taking my own son to his appointment.
Last night Little man refused to eat, but not the regular refuse where he wanted something else-not what we were having, he didn't want anything. Yet, right before bed he had such an explosion in his diaper that I had thought he peed out of his butt. Yep, EEEEWWWWWWW. Right into the bathtub, lots of diaper cream and a temp check.
He still got his chocolate milk before bed, and I asked him if he had any boo-boo's. "No, Mommy..." "Does your ear hurt?" "Yeah..." Gotcha.
Morning phonecall to doc, "Bring him in at 10:45!" That girl at the front desk drinks waaaay too much coffee.
I called my sister and asked her to bring him, only because Daddy had massive deliveries to make (it's spring-lots of people working on their cars now!) and I still don't have my car.
Then my son walks into my room with wet pants. Nice.
He got stripped and thrown into the shower with Daddy. There's a nice wet spot on the futon I have to work on later, too. Fun.
Apparently when my sister told the doc that I suspected it was another ear infection (third one this year! And we're only in March!) he looked in his ears, and guess what! I was right! I'm an outstanding mother when it comes to diagnosing ear infections, but not at anything else. Hmph.
More antibiotics to play with.
He went back to daycare, he told my sister he wanted to "go to school and play." Who was she to argue? He wasn't running any fevers so he could go to school...

I used to put my mother through this when I was a kid. Ear infection after strep throat after ear infection....I had tubes put in my ears when I was three or four. I must have passed down the sick gene.

Tuesday, March 20, 2007

It's nice...but not perfect

So I have found what so many of us are looking for---A REAL LIFE FRIEND.
Holy hangover batman! There are humans that like me in person!
She is awesome, we've been getting together for the past few months, and I haven't mentioned her because, well, I like her. Usually when I mention someone here is because I don't like 'em. (Much like the agents I love, they get no love here...)
I can't even think of a nickname for she'll just be Friend for now. I met her through her husband, who is friends with Daddy. (Go figure. Couple friends!) They have a two-year-old son! (We may just be twins! LOL!)
Wait for it- this is Daddy's wet dream- she works in an auto parts store. She likes cars like me (well, maybe more than me) and she is funny.

So you may already be wondering why she is being mentioned here today...

And please don't stone me for this-

I don't like her son.


Their situation is different, where her hubby stays home with the baby. He had had an accident at his job that caused him to lose vision in one eye, so she works at the parts store and they don't have to pay daycare because hubby is there.(Oh, the good life, LOL!) So, granted, the kid is attached to his daddy, what boy really isn't, right? The thing that I don't like about the boy is that he is not disciplined. He hits, he throws things, he is just generally the complete opposite of my son. 'Normal two year old behavior' I have heard from other people, but I'm not the only one who thinks this little boy is out of control, others have said it. THEY have said it, Friend and her hubby, but they laugh about it. (Well, they used to. Now they're getting a little worried.)
We were at their house yesterday, and I couldn't tell you how many times I had to go get my son away from the other kid...I don't want my son to start picking up on some things this boy does.
So I don't want to give up actual real-life friends who we love just because of their son's behavior..................

***Edited to add: Yeah, I know two year olds are two year olds, and I'm not implying that my son is an angel. It's just that this kid is like the devil incarnate. He makes my son LOOK like an angel...

Monday, March 19, 2007

The push I needed?

For those that have been here a while, know that Other Admin was 'laid off' a few months ago, laid off being more that she is on-call when Head Admin or I need a day off, and she works weekends at The Other Office. Times are slow in the Real Estate market, Bossman felt he couldn't afford to pay her for full-time work. He said he would take her back on full-time as soon as things pick up.
We're still waiting.
I think that he chose to lay her off instead of me because I have a child. She is a single 21-year-old who lives with her mother. Head Admin owns her home and has a car note. Priorities.
On Friday when he came to drop off my paycheck, he was scribbling something in his appointment book and casually (???) mentioned "You better hope this market picks up soon..." then he closed his book and walked out.
He left me with my eyebrows raised and my heart going a thousand beats a second.
I know I've been paranoid in the past about losing my job, but now he's just down to me and Head Admin. Head Admin has been with him since he bought the company four or five years ago, and he worked with her at the previous office, so he has history with her. And she knows how to do a lot more than I do, which they have taught me some stuff here and there but nothing to guarrantee my job.

I don't mind.

Maybe this is the kick in the pants I need to get me to actually enroll in school and get a degree in something a little more stable. I was talking to Daddy about it, and I mentioned how my father had offered to pay for any classes I wanted to take, wherever, as long as I wasn't answering someone's phone for a living. Daddy's eyebrows raised, mine were already up high (I don't think they came down since my bossman said that comment...).
"So maybe I'll go to school full time."
He made that "Why not?" face with a shrug of the shoulders. How great our communication is...
So today I will be researching schools for getting into something medical. Even if I just take a certificate course and become a medical assistant for now, so I won't be out of work for too long. (Nine months? and I could probably do something part time?)
We'll see where this road takes us.
I hope my bossman doesn't take it too hard if he does come to give me the "I'm closing the office" speech and I cheer instead of cry...

Friday, March 16, 2007

Some stuff...---

before I (possibly) go home early today.

  • Melissa asked me how the pic day went. I wasn't going to say anything yet, i wanted to scan the pics and post 'em here, but as far as I hear from the director herself: "Did you know your son is such a ham???" Apparently he behaves for photographers if mommy or daddy aren't around. He wasn't too much into the smiling thing at first, he just sat there, but then they mentioned the Chuck-E-Rat and Daddy's car and that was enough for him to let them count his teeth if they wanted. All smiles, sat still long enough for more than one photo to be taken. That's gonna hurt my wallet...I can't turn down a good pic...
  • Bossman came in at 11 and told me "You're going home at 12 today. It's going to get really bad." He sat here with me for the 11th hour, waiting to see how it got, the snow wasn't sticking so he said we would see how the day went, then he'll call to send us home. As soon as he left the snow started falling harder and now it's sticking. And he hasn't called to say we're going home. The Shitter came in five minutes ago and asked me if I was going home. "I have no idea." I said. "Today seems like it's bad, it's a good day to head home and settle in." Okay, so why are YOU here? I wanted to ask. I just looked at my screen in silence and nodded.
  • I'm addicted to this game called Zuma. It's on, and I can't get past level 3-4 (4 parts to each level). Is there anyone else who plays this game? How far have you gotten? Did you find it as addicting as I did? I don't know what I'm going to do all weekend without being able to play it...

Edited to add: GOING HOME! Bossman is out on the road, says it's getting horrible so he doesn't want us getting stuck or into accidents...Have a great weekend guys, and for those in this storm, be safe, 'kay?

Oh, yeah, and THe Shitter is STILL here, apparently waiting for me to leave first...hmmmm.

HaHA Very funny...bring the sun back now please...

Yeah. SNOW.
It hasn't snowed all winter here, and after three days of beautiful glorious sunshine and high fifties weather...we plummet down to the 30's and get SNOW.
Do you New Englanders believe this shit???
I mean I know we should be used to crazy weather like this, but this is just getting ridiculous.
Tuesday morning I ran into the bathroom while Daddy was taking a shower (why wait till he gets out? this was important!) to tell him the idiotic weatherman was predicting SNOW for the weekend! INCHES of SNOW! How stupid that man is! We both thought it was hilarious. I didn't tell Little Man about the 'snowman' (as he calls it) because I didn't want to get his hopes up for no reason. Besides, it wasn' t going to snow, psssshhhh, please.

This morning I got out the shower (I hadn't looked outside, why bother? it wasn't snowing!) and turned on the t.v only to hear the crazy weatherman say "We're looking at a few inches gathering today..."
Inches of what? Sunshine?
I look outside and wouldn't you know, it WAS snowing. Hard, too.

No one is more excited than Little Man.

I want to speak to mother Nature, we have a couple of issues to discuss here...

Wednesday, March 14, 2007

Good luck, man.

Today is picture day at Little man's daycare/school.
Ha. They don't know what they're in for with my son.
My sister and I have bets on how much of his face will actually come out IN the picture, because he'll be too busy trying to get off the chair and escape the wrath of the evil camera.
My sister says all they'll catch is a blurry shot of his forehead...
I say they'll get a shot of his rear end as he runs out the door.
Daddy just smiles and shakes his head.

Little Man loves taking pictures, but only if he wants to. Christmas pictures were almost a disaster, we had to settle on the first shot taken because it was the ONLY shot taken. He started crying right after, and if we had continued with the session we would have ended up with lots of pictures of a red faced Little Man reaching for his mommy and daddy, crying like we had abandoned him.

On the permission slip we had to sign for the pictures to be taken there was a section that said 'Comments for photographer:_____________'...I wrote in Good Luck! with a smilie face. I'm hoping the smilie face makes the photographer feel a little better, but he/she can never say I didn't warn him/her.
I can't wait to hear how he did...

Tuesday, March 13, 2007

She must know when I haven't slept...

Her (Stoopid). Me.

Did you receive an e-mail from Bossman last Thursday?
No, Bossman doesn't send me the e-mails he sends to the agents, it's just for you guys.
So you didn't get an e-mail?
Well, I got an e-mail from him and I couldn't open it.
Oh, I'm sorry. Did you want me to call him and ask him to send it again? (See, I'm trying to be nice...)
No, no that's fine. Do you think you can come into my office and open it?
...What makes you think the e-mail would open for me? What would I do differently to get it to open?
Well, what if I forward it to you? Do you think you could open it?
Stoopid, again...if it didn't open for you what makes you think it will open for me? He might have not done something right, or the attachment is broken, I can call him and ask him to send it again.
No, no I'm leaving anyway...

(ten minutes later, she is still in the office, The Shitter walks in.)
Shitter, did you get the e-mail from the bossman?
Yes, but I couldn't open it.
What did you do to get it to open.
I called him and asked him to send it again...

Sometimes The Shitter can be helpful.

Monday, March 12, 2007

A Phonecall

"Your son stinks."
"He gave me two very loaded diapers. Stunk up the whole house."
"(laughing) He does take after you, doesn't he?"
"(more laughing)"
Little Man gets on the phone.
"Mommy! I drink Daddy's juice."
"Oh, yeah? What are you doing?"
"With cars?"
"No. With Daddy. On the couch."
"You having fun?"
"Yesssssss. (I hear Daddy in the backround) Mommy! I love you!"
"Oh, baby, i love you too! Gimme kisses."
"(smooching into the phone) Talk to Daddy, bye Mommy!"
"Are you guys going out?"
"Na, we're fine in here."
"Has he been coughing?"
"Nope. He had lunch, ate almost all of it, too. He's fine."
"Hmph. whatever."
"See you later."

Does he only get sick around me??????

I always get the graveyard shift.

At about 4 a.m I woke to the sound of a ninety year old man coughing in my bedroom. I look around, there was no ninety year old man there...just my husband and my son sleeping soundly.
Hmmmm. That's weird.
I couldn't go back to sleep, I was wondering where the coughing came from. I listened for wheezing...none coming from either. No stuffy nose sounds. No congestion sounds. No moving around uncomfortably.
So I started racking my brain, thinking I was just going crazy, and then thinking on how much my floors needed cleaning, and then how much I hate daylight savings time because it screws everything up. Like my sleeping. And my son's sleeping. I get abck to sleep maybe an hour or so later.
Only to wake up to hear that ninety year old man again. I get up, neither of the men next to me seemed to have moved at all, and surely that coughing would have sent somene into some kind of convulsions, that was no ordinary coughing.
Then my son coughs. Hard. His lungs must have been killing him...this time the coughing didn't stop. He kind of gagged so I scooped him up and went into the bathroom. If he's going to be throwing up mucus, it's going to be on a floor I can clean easily. No throwing up mucus, but there was still coughing. I grabbed water from the fridge and offered it to him.
"No, Mommy."
I grab a juice and a Triaminic strip. He hates those strips, but it's the easiest way I can get any medicine into his system. The only way he ate the strip was with promises of him being able to eat a gummy (his vitamins) afterward...and with Daddy standing there with a no-funny business look on his face...
We camped out in the bathroom for another half an hour (the last time I gave him the strip he threw up all over the living room floor. He doesn't take well to medicine. He gets that from his momma.) before going back to bed.
He wouldn't go back to sleep. "More juice?" "Mommy, love you." "Daddy sleeping?"
At six-thirty he finally started nodding off, Daddy turned to me and said "Get some sleep, I'll stay home with him today."
Some sleep?
The alarm went off five minutes later...

Friday, March 09, 2007

Total embarrasment for me- I'm never going on that hill AGAIN!

I was driving Daddy's car last night, following him in the soon-to-be-my-new-car, he was taking it to our friend Chu (the mechanic) so he can take a look at it, make sure everything is A-Okay for me.
Daddy's car is stick shift, the soon-to-be-my-new-car is, too, which I don't mind but I'm used to driving automatics and my stick shift skills have been lacking lately. Let's put it this way: thank God Daddy had put a brand new clutch in his car, because I would have burned his old one by now. I get nervous taking off in first, especially when I'm on a slight incline, because the assholes here like to stop two inches from your bumper at a light, I'm afraid of backing into someone so I rev it up nice before I take off...
Daddy (and I swear he did this on purpose) took the looong way to Chu's house, taking the street that even in an automatic car I hate, because even that rolls back at the light at the top of the hill. So of course, the light turnes red when we are halfway up the hill. I see Daddy looking at me through his rearview, and I stick my middle finger up at him. Then I look in my rearview and the asshole behind me (you guessed it) stops so close to me I can't see more than half of his hood. Fuck, I'm going to hit this guy, FUCK! Daddy is still looking at me, but now he knows what I'm thinking. I want to hit Daddy.
The light turns green, I let Daddy get ahead of me by a lot, and then I screech the tires taking off, the guy can clearly see that the car is stick...
We get caught at the light again, this time Daddy is the first car, and the asshole behind me again stops right on my ass. AAAARRRGGGGHHHHHHH! I send him a couple of Fuck you's mentally, because my son the parrott is in the back seat...The light turns green, Daddy takes off. (Fucking experts...) I wait a few seconds before taking off and the car ends up shutting off on me. "FUCK!" I'm screaming now, because I'm pissed off and embarrassed, turn the car back on and take off, screeching tires the whole time. I left tire marks for a good twenty feet. When I catch up to Daddy I'm motioning a few more birds at him and trying not to hit him with his own car...when we get to Chu's house I get out and start screaming at him "You did that on purpose! You know I avoid hills at all costs! Why would you do that???" He is laughing. The nerve of him. "Diana, you have to get used to it if you want the stick shift car..."

Screw that. I don't want the car. Get me my automatic back, please.

Thursday, March 08, 2007

They'll take your soul!

Leaving the kids at home with their Daddies, I went with a friend of mine to see about her changing her gym plan. She joined Soul Sucking Gym (starts with a B and ends with an Ally's) in the new year on a family plan with her husband, BIL, SIL, and far everyone but her husband has decided to quit. Since Soul Sucking Gym makes you sign up using automatic payments (yes, THEY DO!) my friend had to go and adjust the membership to only include her and her husband, because the payments were coming from their account anyway.
Enter Soul Sucking Gym: you see every machine being used and lots of people in red shirts (employees) floating around watching people here and there. As soon as we walked in we were bombarded by three people in red shirts asking us if we needed any help. Good customer service? No, they saw we weren't dressed in gym attire (we were both still in work clothes) and carrying no duffel bags, so we must be FRESH MEAT! GET THEM TO SIGN THEIR LIVES AWAY NOW! QUICK GET THE FORMS! When my friend said she was changing her membership, the red shirted employess disappeared into thin air. Really, suddenly we were standing there alone. Five full minutes later a black-and-red shirted employee (manager?) came to us and asked us to follow him into a 'private' room. I looked at my friend, she just shrugged. We were led into a small, smelly room with glass walls and two chairs that I really didn't want to sit in. The sweat smell was over-bearing, making my once hungry stomach feel queasy. The black-and-red shirted man started asking her why she wanted to change her membership. She explained, in very simple and easy to understand terms- but that she and her husband wanted to stay on. They went regularly. He turns to me "So you're going to keep coming with her then?" I smiled as nicely as possible and said "She just said she and her husband, I am not him. I'm just here to keep her company." Dummy. He turns back to her and asked her the situation again. I thought she has said it pretty clearly the first time. He turns to the computer and starts clicking away on the keyboard. He starts telling her about two-year contracts and having to put $193 per person down for a new plan. She looks at me, eyes wide. I'm sure mine looked like dinner plates, too. "I don't want a new plan, I just want to take three people OFF my plan." He looks back at me "Well, you're going to keep coming aren't you?"
This guy is a fucking genious.
"I'm not a member here. This is for her and her husband."
"Oh, well, why don't you sign up? We can come up with a great plan for you..."
"We're not here for me, we're here to take care of her business." I felt like covering my neck, afraid he was going to suck my blood that very second.
Back to her: "I see you're on a month-to-month plan, why don't you sign up for a two year contract? we can give you a deal."
"I may not be in this state for two more years, I don't want to get into something I can't get out of, so the month-to-month works just fine for us."
"Oh, if you move away from here, and you move further than fifteen miles away from another Soul Sucking Gym, we can terminate your contract. Where will you be moving?"
"Dominican Republic."
"Oh, that's no problem, all you have to do is bring in your one-way ticket and we can terminate the contract with no problem, but not before 18 months." I'm shaking my head at this point, these people are ridiculous. A one-way plane ticket? Is that a joke?
"Look, all I want to do is take three people off my plan and stay month-to-month. If you can't do that, then terminate everything now."
Puzzled look on the black-and-red shirted guy.
Three phonecalls, visits from two other managers AND her personal trainer, and more clicking away at the keyboard, they finally figured out what she really wanted to do.
An hour and a half later we were on our way to pick food up for the husbands and sons, who were calling to see what the hell happened to us. (They were together at the house...)
Remind me to just invest in a treadmill or bike at home, it will be cheaper than these soul-suckers. And if two months later I just want to pack the things up and throw them in the basement, i won't have a red-shirted employee there asking me to show him a one-way plane ticket...

Any horror gym stories from ya'll?

Tuesday, March 06, 2007


My son has decided he doesn't need food. He has gone from being the best eater who will gobble up anything you put in his face, to turning his face at anything and everything and opting for just milk or juice.
I can't take it.
Every night for dinner it is a fight with him to eat anything, and while he is eating just fine in daycare...*sigh*
Last night I made him cry because I told him he couldn't have any juice until he finished at least half of his dinner. I became my mother the moment the sentence came out of my mouth. I used to do this to her, fill up on liquids and not eat my food. My mother used to cry and beg me to eat and then threaten to take me to the hospital and have me put on a feeding tube.
Two hours it took for him to finally grab his plate and choke down some potatoes and meat (which he usually loves). He showed his plate to Daddy who gave him some juice.
This is usually only during dinner time, for breakfast he is starving (because he won't eat dinner) so he gobbles it up quickly. Lunch he does okay with, I've noticed he is starting to do the same for lunch sometimes...
Is my food gross now? Is there something I can give him to substitute? I know Mamaof2 went through this with her son recently, and I see why she was so concerned. And my son is only TWO! I give him Flintstone vitamins in the mornings just to make sure he's getting his essential vitamins, but he still needs ACTUAL SOLID FOOD in his system...
I swear the other night I gave him cereal for dinner just because i knew he would eat it without a problem, but I don't want to do that every day...unless i have to of course...

Monday, March 05, 2007

Baby Steps.

Wednesday night he stayed at his mother's. I didn't sleep. Did you know birds sometimes start chirping at four a.m?
Thursday night he was back home, but he slept on the couch. There was still minimal talking, and I wasn't going to take the first step. (Yes, stubborn, I know.) Little Man woke up Friday morning and saw him on the couch and went to lay with him.
Friday we spoke. He admits he overreacted and he came back to our room. Little Man was happy to see him when he woke up. Friday after work, we spoke more. We went to his mother's house to pick up his clothes, and as I was speaking to her behind her closed bedroom door she got a frantic phonecall from Selfless. Drama was happening at Selfish's house (the apartment above mine) and we had to get there ASAP. Without getting into too many details, police were called and we ended up packing some of Selfish's stuff (and the girls') and she went to stay at their mother's. Daddy didn't say a word the whole way home, but he held my hand. I think seeing what was going on with my SIL and her husband put more things in perspective for him. Daddy is not a talker, he doesn't verbalize what he is feeling, which is hard but I know him so well I understand his actions. He needs to change that a bit, I told him that. Just a bit. Just enough to not get us into a big enough fight that he feels he can't be home.
Saturday we went to Googlio and Skinny Bitch's baby shower, where everyone (well, the few people who knew about the sitch) was breathing a sigh of relief seeing us together...and smiling. Oh, except for The Whore of course, because I'm sure she was overly happy to hear that we were fighting. (You know, because Selfless STILL is overly friendly with her. UGH.) Really, you should have seen her face she was so upset. I loved it, it made me smile more. Stupid Whore, worry about your own life, thank you. And yes, the stupid Whore was at the baby shower, double UGH. She was there with her twelve year old boyfriend (he looks twelve, seriously. The BOY is 18 though! Still a baby himself!)
Sunday we went car hunting. I might have found something. But I don't want to get all excited about it yet. Not until it's parked in my driveway.
That's that.
Baby steps.

Thursday, March 01, 2007

Stupid me...

I bought a Twix the day before yesterday, and only ate one bar. I put the other bar in my purse, careful not to rip the wrapper too much so it wouldn't end up turning to mush and getting chocolate and cookies all over my checkbook.
Today I reached for my purse so I could eat the other bar...

I left my purse at home.

And now all I can think about is how much I really want that damn chocolate...

I'll take Migraines for $800, Alex.

I always complain about my migraines. I always hate them, especially when no amount of Excedrin will rid me of them and I'm left paralyzed on the bed wanting to die instead of feel the pain...
Now it's nosebleeds.
All of a sudden my nose leaks, with no warning, and I'm standing there scaring the hell out of whoever is with me.
The other day (you know, when Daddy and I were still getting along just fine...) I had gone to my sister's house at my son's request. My mother was there so he got to see his beloveds all at the same time. I got a phonecall from a friend asking for my address so he could send us an invitation to his daughter's birthday party, and while I was on the phone I felt like my nose was running. Knowing that I have had no sinus issues in the last month or so, I found this weird and went to pass my fingers under my nose...and they came back red. My heart stopped. I hung up the phone and went into the bathroom where I find that my nose was starting to pour out blood. (Am I totally grossing you out here? You don't have to read if you don't want to...I will understand.) So I grab tissue and try to remember if it's head up or head down to stop bleeding...which I never knew the answer to because when you ask someone they really never know either...
My sister sees me and the now soaked tissue and hurries into the bathroom to get me more, asking me if I fell or something. "Uh, with my fat ass you would have heard me fall. Or at least swear because I fell. Dummy." Then my mother gets involved, and she's no good in any situation, let alone one with blood involved, so she starts panicking that I had to go to the hospital right that instant. "It's just a nosebleed, MOTHER, I'm not going to sit in an ER for eight hours..." And then I passed a huge clot (I think it was a clot, it looked more like a bloody booger just REALLY big...really I'm sorry to gross you out...) and it just stopped.
For the record, I have never actually had a nosebleed in my life.
Yesterday morning, the same thing happened. Same way, just came all of a sudden, passed another clot, and it stopped.
Now I'm wondering what the hell is going on. My sister in law suggested stress, but then decided I should just go get checked since I get so many migraines and now this, so she chucked her stress theory...
I don't know.
Has anyone had any spontaneous nosebleeds? Or should I really just go and get checked? (I hate going to the doc's unless I really really have to...)
As for everything else: same. I don't want to talk about it right now, but nothing has changed anyway...but thank you guys for you thoughts.