Wow.

I sent my resume to four office positions yesterday. I'm waiting for responses...I hate the waiting part. The first one I sent the resume to is really the one I want, part time work really, five hours a day five days a week. I will still be able to take the kids to their appointments and stuff without worrying about getting the boss pissed, or getting fired. The others were 'meh, I'll just send it here because it looks alright.' I'm thinking my resume isn't too appealing, because wouldn't someone have responded right away if they liked what they saw? (Look at me already being all negative. Grrrr....)
I just want to get a job before we go dead broke.
I stopped by The Other Office today, I don't know why. Head Admin says "Oh, you just missed Bossman..." I don't think Bossman would have wanted to see me, I still think he's mad at me. Oh, well. I stayed there maybe ten minutes and just went home to give Little Man some lunch.

I made the rservation for Little Man's birthday party. We rented this place out at 12 bucks a kid, and i'm trying to keep the list under 13 kids. The rat's place was a whole dollar more per kid. I'm trying to keep the number down so I don't end up having to pay a million bucks for this thing. Little Man is stuck deciding whether he wants a Cars cake or a Spongepervert cake. Every day he changes his mind. And everyday he asks Daddy: "Daddy, can you buy me a blue bike for my birthday?" That's the only thing he consistently asks for, because like a normal kid he asks for everything they show on commercials, but the bike is what he truely wants. We're looking into it. Daddy wants to get him a car/bike thing like this, but I tell him that if Little Man wants a bike, then... Daddy argues that Little Man will be able to ride in the car/bike thing in the winter because of special tire covers we can buy that make them all-terrain, then I argue that I sure as hell won't be the one standing outside with him...

The search is on!

Looking for work. Real work. Full time work. YAY! I'm sending my resume out starting today, I'm calling the sitter to make sure she knows she's getting the kids soon! I'm excited!



So now comes the dilemna:how is dinner going to get made if I'm working another 9-5? My mother's suggestion is to get a crock pot, set it and forget it! (infommercial? LOL!)
I'm actually looking into getting a crock pot, I've seen the results at Thanksgiving when I go to other people's houses and I eat the wonderful tasting beef stews that come out of those cute little pots. The thing I have to do is search for recipes that Daddy will like, you know since he's such a picky eater. (You would figure he's the child in the family huh?) I found a website with hundreds, maybe thousands of crock pot recipes. I'm sure I'll find quite a few that Daddy and Little Man will enjoy.
There are appetizers you can make, like artichoke and cheese dip (which my sister once forced me to try and I actually liked it. Hey, it sounded gross...) for when you have people over. There are recipes for chili (yum) and all kinds for beef or chicken dishes. Even desserts! (Check out the apple-nut cheesecake, I'm drooling here! But I have to make that one day that Little Man isn't even in the house with the new nut allergy he has.)
That's it, it's decided, my first paycheck is going towards a crock pot.
Are there any recipes you have tried and would like to share? I'm all for trying new dishes, so suggest away!

I've got some signs to hand out...

and one is coming to me!!!

• My last payment from unemployment arrived onto my debit card on Tuesday. I had gone to the corner store with the kids, and I put the card in my pocket in case our total came to more than I had in cash. When I got home I changed back into pj bottoms, took the card out of my pocket and set it on top of the dresser, one of the kids was fussing and I told myself I would put it in my purse later. Yeah...right. The card disappeared. Gone. Vanished. So my payment is stuck on the card...I had to call and report it lost so I could get a new card. The horrible thing is that Daddy and I literally emptied the bedroom, I mean we TOOK THE FURNITURE OUT and the card still has yet to show up. Funny thing: my sister (after hearing my tale of stupidity) said "You're going to blog about this aren't you?" Damn straight! Only way to clear my mind! Betcha the card shows up when the new card gets here...
• Sign for the guy at the video store: my keychain card was misprinted so it's smudged. It doesn't scan, they have to manually (god forbid) punch the numbers in... every time I go to the video store the person tries to scan the card even after I say it doesn't scan...today Friend asked me for a ride to the video store, and she forgot her card and asked to use mine. I handed it to the guy and told him it doesn't scan, you know to save him some trouble. Two full minutes he spent trying to scan the thing. Two minutes is a long time for scanning a stupid card. I looked at Friend and asked "Didn't I JUST say that it doesn't scan?" Here's your sign buddy...

I'm still sick and tired of everything. But I should be getting a job soon...hopefully my mentality will get better soon. My mind is all fucked up.

Sick and Fucking Tired

I'm sick and tired.

Sadness everywhere

I went to pick up milk and crap at the market and made a beeline for the shortest line. I hate going to S&S, they're expensive but it's the 24 hour one and close to home. Sundays here suck because everything closes at six.
There was one woman in line, all her things on the conveyor belt already. I started to glance at the tabloids, reading about Brit-Brit binging and purging, Angie collapsing and other tales of woe (yeah...) in Hollywood.
The woman in front of me was making small talk with the cashier. The cashier was a middle aged Spanish woman, heavy accent. The woman in front of me was older, maybe sixties, Russian accent.
"I'm buying all this junk for my grandkids, they're coming to spend the night"
"Oh, yeah. how nice."
"Yeah, I got four now. Another on the way, but now just four."
"oh, wow. Your hands are full tonight."
"Oh, yeah, but I love it. I love when they come over. You got grandbabies?"
"I had two, but now just one."
I didn't want her to continue, how rude would it have been of me to jump the counter and cover her mouth with my hand. I saw the look on her face change, I saw the sadness come over her eyes. I saw the twitch at the corner of her lips.
"Oh?"
"Yeah, my granddaughter passed. Just seven months she was..."
The Russian woman stayed quiet, I could see she didn't know what to say, you could almost see the wheels in her head turning, looking for something to say...anything.
The cashier continued, "We didn't know what happened. They thought it was abuse and took my grandson from my daughter, he is three. Then the report came back saying she had something wrong with her intestine."
Oh, God.
The Russian woman was done paying. "I'm so sorry." she said and hurried away.
Did the cashier know I heard? What should I say?
"Hi, how are you today?" She asked me in an accent not too different from my mother's.
I smiled and spoke in Spanish.
I didn't mention the granddaughter, though I wanted to.
My heart broke into a thousand pieces when she had said what happened, and here I was paying for baby food and wipes.
Life isn't fair to people.

I've entered a Free Raleigh, NC Getaway contest! Because I want to GET AWAY!

I have friends that moved to Charlotte, NC last year. They are constantly telling Daddy and me to go down there for a visit. We were scheduled to take the 9-hour drive for Memorial Day weekend (remember, Rebecca???) but Little Miss Diva came along and our trip was indefenitely postponed. I hate that we had to cancel the trip because they moved down there for .L. to go to graduate school, and .D. didn't want the long-distance relationship thing, so he went. They didn't know anyone down there, and were always calling us up-selling Charlotte so that we would move down with them. They would actually even call to tell us about deals they found on rentals near them. How funny, huh? (I love them for that, though.)
Anyhoo- seeing as how sometimes I have no time at all and other times I have too much damn time, I sometimes look in my Not-From-My-Address-Book mail. (I don't want to call it junk mail, because sometimes it isn't junk.)
And then I saw FREE Raleigh Getaway. Hmmmm. They have crazy deals on weekends getaways, including Fall Getaways, with special deals concerning a special event called Celtic Halloween which sounds fun. Included in this free getaway package is:
-One night accommodations for two at the Courtyard by Marriott Raleigh Crabtree Valley
-$25 gift certificate to Bloomsbury Bistro
-Free VIP admission for two to Rum Runners
-2 tickets to the North Carolina Theatre
-2 tickets to the N.C. Museum of Art’s Landscapes from the Age of Impressionism
-2 tickets to Dinosaurs: Ancient Fossils, New Discoveries at the N.C. Museum of Natural Sciences


After I read this I thought 'How far is Raleigh from Charlotte???' HA! I would go for a week, do the getaway, then go spend some time with my dearies .L. and .D.
I signed up, you never know what you might actually win. Sign up, too if you'd like a weekend away!

I'm moving! That's it!

LOL!
I told Daddy this yesterday and he just looked at me. I was looking for a job online, because my unemployment is over next week, and somehow someway I ended up on a page about jobs in London. The English like to drink, right? Pints, I believe they beer is called over there...well, why not a bar job? There are a-plenty. There aren't that many jobs in the bar industry here...besides they usually go to the hot younger half of 20-year-olds, or the hot gay guys. (I've had gorgeous gay guys serving me when I used to go out...)
Out of curiosity I clicked on the admin jobs, they have a bunch of those, too. More than here, also. That's why I told Daddy I was moving, more jobs opps!!! Sad how I was really looking through London's wanted ads like I was really planning on going.
My resume is polished up, waiting to be sent out, but the more I look the more frustrated I get because what I find doesn't pay enough (for God sake, I'm only looking for 10 bucks an hour, I used to make nine.) or they want you to work slave hours. Yeah, can't do that since I do have a family waiting to be fed at home.
Who knows what will happen.

A look into why my mother and I just can't get along

There is a racing event in New Jersey on Saturday, a major one since it's one of the last of the season. Daddy feels bad that I've only gotten to go to one this whole summer, and he wants me to come along. A month ago I asked my mother to sit the kids for us from Friday night, since we would be leaving at about 3 a.m so we can get to the doors when they're opening because that place gets packed. As far as I knew, she had said yes.
The other day she had the kids while I went to get an oil change. At her request. An hour tops. When I went to pick them up I said "Okay, so I'll call you on Friday to let you knolw what time we will be dropping them off."
"Friday? Them?"
"Mom, you have to be kidding me..."
"You never told me it was both of them. And besides I'm going to Jersey on Friday anyway." (to see her boyfriend)
"Mom..."
At this point I'm trying not to scream, I do want her to sit I don't want to piss her off, but my blood was boiling.
"What? Stay home with your kids."
I wanted to throw something at her. At her head.
"Are you serious??? I'm home with them every single day. I don't leave my house...you act like you didn't have two kids and you don't understand that I need a break sometimes."
"Yeah. I had two kids. But I wasn't stupid enough to have them so close in age."

Thanks, MOM.