No one knows how to break a heart like a child does. Especially your own child...
Apparently Little Man has asthma now.
(say it with me now....WHAT???)
He was getting what seemed like a cold. Runny nose, slight cough. No fever. My buddies at Triaminic decided to make my life easier and made their cough medicine in chewable form so that my son thinks he's eating caaaaaandy and he loves taking it. So two days of chewable cough medicine didn't get rid of that slight cough. SLIGHT COUGH. The other night I didn't sleep, my son was wheezing like crazy. He couldn't take a deep breath without sounding so constricted. In the morning Daddy went to work (hesitantly) with his buddy, leaving me the car in case of anything. By nine I was out the door because he couldn't even get a sentence out without going into a coughing fit. The docs took him in right away and when they took his pulse/ox (oxygen levels in the blood) I swear the nurse went pale. She went and got the breathing machine with some albuterol in it and hooked him up right away. He was entertained with the smoke coming out on the other end...if he ends up smoking when he's older I'll blame them. Well, they checked his pulse/ox again and the goddamn levels went down. Nurse dashed out of the room and came back with a liquid steroid (which I later learned was prednisone because they weren't even really speaking to me much, just trying to get the boy to breathe, which hey I didn't mind.) THen they came back with a new mask with a new medicine and they left me there to hold the mask. Now keep in mind that I had the baby with me, there was no one available to take her while I went...so the baby is awake in her car seat watching all of this and suddenly my son starts throwing up into the mask. I'm ripping the thing off his face and trying to hold him so that he pukes on the floor and I'm screaming for the nurse and I'm crying and shaking all over...a nurse comes in and takes Little Man and I'm freaking out at this point because I didn't know where it was that Daddy was working that day and I had to have him there with me. I ended up calling my sister and she left a client with wet nails to make a mad dash to the hospital. If I remember correctly I said "I need you." and I don't remember saying much after that because my mind was racing but a few minutes later she was there. Little Man was already back in the room with me, and she started reading him the book giving me a breathing moment. She says I was pale. Who wouldn't be, seeing their child not even being able to breathe? Not knowing why the hell his oxygen levels are so low...
Finally his levels went up to a satisfactory level and we got sent home. The story was this: Little Man may or may not have asthma. It could have been triggered by his allergies (we're getting a horrible ragweed season this year) and could only be temporary (but happen every year) or his lungs could have finally let us know that he came out sick like Daddy. Daddy had horrible asthma growing up, he was in and out of the hospital on a monthly basis. So we got an appointment for the next day to check his levels again and to make another appointment for a month or so to check again. We got a script for albuterol and this is what he looks like when we give him the pump. (No that is not Little Man, I got that pic off google, you all know my baby is cuter, LOL) He thinks it's a toy. He is fascinated with the sound the inhaler makes and always wants to press the button.
He is fine now.
I'm still not. I haven't slept since it happened because I stay up listening to him breathe. I was told to go straight to the hospital if he even shows a hint of wheezing again. That pic I posted yesterday- yeah right. THe bags under my eyes are big enough to fill with the luggage you need for a trip to Europe for a month. My hair hasn't been done. Daddy comes up to me and hugs me once in a while, he knows that I've been spending my days just listening to the boy breathe. I never knew how much it would mean to take a breath of air (well, when I had the baby, same thing, because she wasn't breathing.) and when he jumps I want to tell him to stop, but I can't stop him from being a kid. He hasn't had to use the pump today, except for this morning as opposed to yesterday where he was taking it every four hours or so. SO I'm thinking that it may be the allergies fucking with him. I've never wished for allergies so much in my life.
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5 comments:
Yes, you are strong enough. Don't even doubt that. You've been through so much with the job and the pregnancy and in-laws and what not, but you are a good mom and he will be okay.
Asthma is really scary. I had it when I was little and Liv has Fall allergies and gets very wheezy in the Autumn. It is all that mold in the air. It takes her about two weeks to adjust and then she is fine.
When she was your son's age, though, she had to do the whole inhaler thing. She grew out of it. Maybe he will too.
pam- i love you too much.
maria-Daddy did too. I have high hopes for him growing out of it, thank you for more reassurance.
Just lurking through and saw your post. My two sisters and my brother all had bad asthma as children, with hospitalizations and the mask, but they grew out of it. Every one. It's very scary when they can't breathe but with practice you will be able to help your little man keep it under control. One small mercy is that he isn't afraid of the mask - I remember with my brother we all had to sing "One Little Duck" over and over again while he was hooked up to the mask - four times a day - because it was the only thing that would calm him down. Good luck! I'll be back!
I understand! I have had a nebulizer sicne I was 7. I have asthma but it has gotten better with age. I am really scared my kids could get it because it is hereditary.
Kiss that little guy!
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