Mind Jumble

I've got a lot of crap in my head. I'm hoping to spill some out. I'm stressed.

• I'm doing naked potty training, my son gets lazy with a pull up on so he's been flying commando for the past few days. It's working. Not one accident yet, and I stopped using M&M's as a bribe. Only thing is I'm afraid of going out in public right now without a pull up...I can say that I am tired of saying "Stop touching your guevos (spanish word for balls, only not as vulgar...for a kid)." and "Stop shaking you guevos in front of the baby!"
• The baby is already moving around when you put her on her belly. I know she'll be crawling soon, but I'm not in a rush. I was always excited to see what new thing my son was going to do, and he did everything early...but with her I'm not in a rush. This may be my last baby, and I'm just trying to savor every moment. Every smile, commited to memory. After every bath I swear I inhale her scent for like ten minutes. Every outfit I put on her, thousands of pictures... That girl loves her Daddy. If he's in the room she follows him. Her normally greedy ass will stop drinking just to follow him across the room. When he gets home from work she practically throws herself out of my arms or her bouncy seat to get to him. He melts into a puddle grabs her and disappears into the room to play with his princess.
• I've figured out that I have PPD. But it's funny because it's geared more towards my son. I hate myself for it. I have figured out that the way my mind is working is that I'm an 'expert' when it comes to the baby because I've already been through all this with my son, but with my son everything is new and stresses me out because there are things that I can't handle yet...not that I CAN'T handle it's just...I can't find the words. I'm counting to ten a lot when it comes to him, and I actually haven't been yelling lately (I'm a yeller...man, am I a yeller...) but this thought came to me the other night when I was laying down watching tv after everyone had gone to bed. I love my son. He is my life. I just have to become a better learner when it comes to this growing up thing he's doing.
• What's awesome is he sings many songs, and he counts. But he seems to have something against the number five, because he skips it. And fifteen...and when I call him out on it he says "I know mommy...one two three four six seven...."
• I have also come to the realization that my son will always be ignored by Daddy's family. Maybe my daughter will be too but I just notice Little Man for now. It pisses me off. And it makes me hate Daddy's family more and more because of it.
• My writing is going to be boring until I go back to work, all I have is stuff about the kids which God knows is probably boring to you all. I actually find myslef grateful for doing some paid posts, because at least they give me stuff to write about. I only pick ads that I can relate to and can incorporate into my life or someone life...but at least they get my wheels turning.
• This helped a little. My headache has actually gone down a lot. Sorry if I gave anyone a headache reading this...