Tuesday, June 03, 2008

I need...

I need a boost.
I'm still not doing well (mentally) I still feel so depressed but I have to wear the smile and go about my day. I can't hold it in much longer. I dont even know what's wrong...

I came in from work today and Daddy was already home with the kids and he had an attitude from God knows where. okay, so if you're stressed out don't take it out on me, my fuckin life is not all peaches and roses but i dont get bitchy with you.

i need a friend. i've gone back to keeping everyone at arm's length again. i dont know why... maybe i just dont want anyone to see how miserable i am.

i stay away from my family. i stay away from everyone. i dont want to.
i hate this.
i hate myself for feeling this way.

i hate that i dont know how to make it better.


Bikini said...

It took me long enough to figure out that I needed regular exercise to moderate my mood - I'm getting itchy from not doing anything while on vacation, and can tell I need to go for a run/walk tomorrow night. I would start with that- put on some headphones, hit the pavement. If you have to, take one of the kids (stroller, walking, etc.)

Breastfeeding hormones (I can't remember if you're weaning or not, or that's done with) will mess you up. As will PMS and all other manner of "lady problems".

Find some post-partum depression message boards and talk to some other women going through the same thing - I used the ones on iVillage.

HANG IN THERE- it does get better if you figure out how to take care of yourself!

DD said...

I've had your last post saved since you put it up, but with blogger being a bitch and yesterday's good times...well, things got away from me. So first off, Happy Birth Day to you Girlie-Girl!

As for the funk. No one can be, nor should be expected to be, on every day all day. Husband had an attitude? Fine, let him, but don't let it become YOUR problem.

I agree with Bikini about making sure to get outside and do some moving. Even though the heat quickly puts me down, I can't get enough sunshine.

Mama of 2 said...

I'm sorry you are feeling so out of sorts. I have been where you are right now more times than I care to recall.
I wish I had some sage advice for you, but what I can say is friends are a needed release. Not even so much to tell your troubles to but just to let loose and have fun with. At times laughter really is the best medicine.

Good Luck!!!

~nOe~ said...

I dont know what to say to lift your spirits up, just that I think of you and I hope everything always is well.
Even if I dont comment, or dont stop by ... I'm thinking about you and your little ones.
Take care sweet friend, and try to smile! :)

Diana said...

you guys are the best. you have no idea...

dennis said...

hopefully you got outside some and are feeling better. I find that happiness sometimes starts with the small things, like that cool breeze on a hot day or that green light when you least expected it...