(Latteman, maybe you can help since you ARE the only guy that reads here...)
Anyway, this is open for anyone with advice.
We have a company my bossman has chosen to be "our" mortgage company, and we have an in-house mortgage guy that comes in maybe twice a week. He's a really nice guy, friendly, funny, whatever. From the conversations we've had I've learned he is married with four children and I've been very clear and open with the fact that Daddy, Little Man and I are a very happy family. (Even when we're not, but it's not like I spread my business all over work. According to anyone I work with my family is perfect, my car is perfect, my mentality is perfect...) So the Mortgage Guy always asks different agents out to lunch to talk business and basically get his name out there so he can become the Mortgage Guy that everyone uses when dealing with our company. One day he asked me to lunch with two of my favorite agents and my bossman. Free lunch? Hell yeah, I'm there!
Then he's asking me to tag along every week. I went once more with him and those two same agents (bossman didn't come) and that was it. I haven't been since, and now every time he is in the office he is asking me -JUST ME- out to lunch.
Dude, NO.
I don't feel comfortable going to lunch just the two of us, and I keep giving him excuses why I can't go but today he just came and suggested he bring lunch into the office for us.
Dude, NO.
What the hell can I say to him so he can back off without insulting him. It's not like he has come on to me, but still. I don't think it would be appropriate for me to go to lunch with him.
Oh, and I had told him I was going to the other office (which he never goes to, someone else is assigned to that office) and he ended up saying "Well, then I guess I'll have to take that office from The Other Mortgage Guy just so I can follow you."
Dude, NO.
WTF?
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4 comments:
Stand tall, look him in the eye and tell him the truth with out apology.
Uck. I hate that crap. Here's what I do. Bring in some little trinket from home and next time you see him immediately go on and on about how your husband bought it for you and how sweet he is and how lucky you are and EVERYTHING he says just say "Oh my husband always says that!" and then just glow just thinking about how great he is. Eventually he'll get the hint.
Or you could just say "Sorry...I'm not that into you."
My personal favorite is to say that if my boyfriend were have lunch alone with a female (even if it were "platonic" that I wouldn't be happy, so it wouldn't be right for me to do it either. Works pretty well.
"Look, you know I am a happily married woman, so I know your offer is completely platonic..."
(this immediately takes out his first rebuttal argument)
"...While I do appreciate the offer, I do not want to do anyting that could even be suggested by someone to be inappropriate..."
(and finally to knock out the "Screw 'em we are adults argument, the following clears that up before he can even open his mouth)
"...and we all work far too close together to allow something like that. It would make things uncomfortable. But Thank You."
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