Monday, June 12, 2006

Late last night-

Me. Her.
These conversation posts seem to be taking over, but what better way to present them to you than to put you right in the moment? Not that you'd want to be in this one...
*phone ringing*
Hello?
Hey, it's me.
Her voice is quiet, shaky, like she's crying but doesn't want to let me know.
Are you okay?
*sobbing*. No. *more sobbing*. He hit me.
Holy shit...
Shhhh....
What happened?
I don't know...he came into the kitchen and slapped me and when I tried to grab the baby and leave the house he did it again.
Where are you?
In the bathroom. He took the baby and the car keys into our room and locked the door. Says if I leave-even if it's just to get air that I will only be able to come back to pack my shit up. I want to get the baby and get the hell out. I don't need this.
...........
We weren't even arguing, he was going to go to the store and I said something out the window- I wasn't even saying anything for an argument, but he came back in and...God, how the hell did it get like this?
Do you want me to come get you?
No I won't leave without the baby. And I don't want to make this bigger than it is.
I just don't know what to do...
Christ.
I think he's sleeping but I know he will wake up if I try to get in the room and get the baby and the keys.
What are you going to do?
What choice do I have? Go to sleep...hope he isn't angry tomorrow...
Are you sure you don't want me to go get you???
No, no...no. I'm sure. I'm going to bed. It'll be fine tomorrow.

I hung up the phone not knowing what to do. Should I go there anyway? Should I risk getting her husband angry at her, and possibly causing her to get "slapped" again? She has never mentioned any of this before, has it happened before? I called her this morning, she was better. She said she would call me after work...
Maybe I can set the couch in the living room up for a visitor...

7 comments:

JayMonster said...

That is just SOOOOO uncool!

She needs to start making plans immediately (if not sooner).

Julie said...

Oh my, that is such a sad situation. I've had friends in similar spots and they.just.won't.go. Wonder if you can get her some help through a local crisis or women's center, even if it is just for an emergency plan for another time.

seeingdouble said...

You should have called the police. I know it seems like interfering with someone else's life, but there were many times my ex would hold my infant children hostage when I tried to leave his abusive ass. She needs support and a good kick in the rear to get herself moving, it's hard to leave when you're being abused (hell, I was 1200 miles away from any family at all, had 2 infants, and no job), but she needs to get out. I'm sorry your friend is going through this.

Mama of 2 said...

That's a tough call. I know what you are saying about worrying about making her husband angrier.

If it were me...it would depend on how strong my friendship was with this person. If it was my sister I would be there in a heart beat. There wouldn't even be a moment's hesitation.
If it was my best friend...same goes. I'd be sitting across from her driveway if need be.

As for anyone else I don't know what I would do. My gut would want to help but it's hard to know what to do when the person may or may not actually follow through with the appropriate action and it could actually put you in the middle of a precarious situation.

I don't know your relationship with the person you were talking to on the phone so it's hard to say but my best advice is to go with your gut.

Kristen said...

I have to say that if you call the police, it will only make things worse for her because he will get angry. He'll be mad that she told someone and got someone else involved. She has to leave based on her own choice. Just let her know she has a soft place to fall at your house.

Julie said...

This has bothered me, and while I'm glad she reports they're "okay", I really want to put on my superhero cape.
Even if she resists talking to outside help, please encourage her to let you help her set up an emergency plan for next time. Spare set of keys hidden somewhere, prepaid cell phone, fix the locks on inside doors... I worry that he will hurt the baby eventually.
Sorry to be intrusive; this is just one of those situations where you want to help, but can't.

Diana said...

Thanks again guys!
Julie, thanks for visiting, I will talk to her about an emergency plan...