Monday, November 05, 2007

Sick and tired...some more

I couldn't sleep for shit last night. This depression thing is getting worse and worse as I keep checking my phone and e-mail for NOTHING.
Last night I was up till about four. Daddy woke at 6:30 for work. The kids thankfully woke at 9, giving me some type of sleep. But I was just sitting on the couch flipping through the channels, watching nothing and everything. At about 2:30 or so Daddy did come to the living room and sat next to me and just asked if I was going to bed...I just shook my head. He sat there next to me for about 15 minutes, but he didn't say anything. And I wanted to say something, anything, just to get some of this crap off my chest but I didnt say a word. Stupid me. I know he would have said something to try and make me feel better...maybe I wanted to feel this way? I stopped on Miami Ink and heard the story of one lady getting a portrait of her late husband on her shoulder and as I listened to her story, silent tears fell down my face. I don't really think I was crying for her dead husband, I think I was using it as an excuse so that I could finally let some kind of emotion out without anybody looking at me like I was crazy.
Even when I went to bed I lay there awake for quite some time listening to the three of them breathing.
And then when I woke up, I looked at Little Man's the most horrendous sight. Lumps and bumps everywhere, looking like his eczema exploded. He was complaining about being itchy. There were circular spots that looked like heart stopped. Another trip to the doc. He doesn't have ringworm, but his eczema did get out of control (but overnight???) and he has to take meds again.
Now my question became- how am I supposed to go and turn myself into a working mother again if things like this keep happening? Always having to deal with taking Little Man to the docs because he's got something or other...I always worried about Bossman being mad, and thugh he never showed it I knew it irked hi when i took a day off. Yeah, I could probably do part time, but then would that help the money sitch? And just FYI- there aren't too many offices looking for part time help.
I just hope i get some sleep tonight. All the running around I did today has me all types of exhausted. I wish I could sleep for 24 hours...

Nail Tech, if you read this, thanks for running around with me today. I think it would have been worse trying to do all that myself. You're alright for an adopted sister, you know...LOL!

1 comment:

Tuesday Girl said...

My husband is looking for a new job and he is have major trouble too, so I feel for you.

Can his rashes be controled by diet maybe? Maybe this will help