BULLETS

• I haven't-correction- WE haven't slept in a few days. Little Ms. Diva is teething and it seems that the teeth/gums are on a schedule to pulsate and torture my baby every. two. fucking. hours. So she wakes screaming...Daddy and I going to work in the morning has been oh-so-fun on three hours sleep. Tylenol and the stupid little pill things are not working. Whiskey is on the list of things to try. (I'm joking. Don't call the enforcements. Yet.)
• Due to my non-sleep I've taken up drinking coffee at work. Well, it's two parts milk, one part coffee, and a pound of sugar. I don't DO coffee, the closest I get to coffee is a latte, and that mostly milk with a little espresso. So now I have coffee breath. Yuck.
• The department calls conferences over the loud speaker. Today I thought I was hearing things when I heard "Conference at the coffee machine in ten minutes." I didn't think I had actually heard that correctly, so I thought nothing of it. Twelve minutes later when I had to take some papers across the department, they were really standing around the coffee machine having a conference. I just laughed. I thought it was hilarious.
  
• I'm so tired it isn't even funny.

• There were other things I wanted to put here and now I can't remember them. Because I'm tired. Can someone come rock my daughter at night so we can get at least five hours of sleep? Because Daddy and I are taking turns, and it's wearing us both out. Can't let her cry it out because we only have one bedroom, and if she wakes Little Man up in the middle of the night I will kill myself.
  

loyalty or money?

what is more important?
a week into starting my new job i am faced with this decision to make. do i stay with the department that hired me or do i move on to another department that is offering me more money, but with it comes more, much more stress.
the head of the dept that is now hounding me, let's call her Curly Sue, cornered me today to offer me the position. she said she has been interviewing but doesn't like any of them. hmmmmm..... she told me she is offering two bucks more. but one of the girls i work for used to work for her- for three years- and she told me that curly sue is one of those bosses that dumps all her work on you and disappears on a three hour cigarette break. but i used to work in an office for eleven people all by myself, so i know i wouldn't mind the workload, really.
i told curly sue that i couldn't just leave the girls...so she said she would ask the head honcho if she could take me on part time, 1-6, after my current 9-1 shift, because she really wants me to work for her. she just doesn't know how the pay is going t
o work, she doesn't want to give me a pay cut, so most likely they would see if they could raise my pay for the first job.
i'm thinking that if things got too complicated they would end up giving me an ultimatum about where i want to be...and i dont know if i can decide that right now. i love the girls i work for now, but then there's the money...
talk to me, tell me how you would handle this.

New Issue to ask for advice on:

Little Man has started biting his nails. That is the most disgusting thing...I hate it. My sister used to bite her nails and her finger tips were always so round and her nails...there was never any white left on them. It was a miracle if her nails reached the tip of her fingers at all. Thank goodness she stopped that...
Anyway, all of a sudden Little man bites his nails, and the skin next to the nail so he makes the skin on the sides of his fingers all irritated.
So if anyone has any advice- LET IT BE KNOWN!

Thanksgiving Disaster

So our Thanksgiving ended up really nice, but it almost wasn't so. First of all i never wrote about the last argument Selfish and I had about three weeks ago. So I guess I should write about that first...
Well, one night Daddy and I got home and everyone was blocking the driveway. I was driving, and i was going to have to leave in the morning so I manuevered the car to park in front of Selfish's car, so she would still be able to get out in the morning. Keep in mind, my car is in FRONT of hers, not behind so I WAS NOT BLOCKING HER OR ANYONE. 7 in the morning she sends a text to the cell saying 'if you aren't going to use the car in the morning don't park like an asshole.' I was NOT going to let this chick speak to me like I was five, especially since I knew I wasn't blocking anyone so I sent a text back saying 'I am going to use the car so don't talk if you dont know.'
I didn't swear. I kept it simple. Tell me why this chick really came downstairs to complain to Daddy like a five year old. Daddy was upset to have gotten woken up in the first place but he went to the door and told her to keep her voice down (she was shouting. At 7 am) and not to be pounding on the door because the kids were sleeping. She said "I don't give a fuck about your kids." Daddy turned all shades of red. You cannot talk about his babies. And this is his sister. He started telling her to get out, but she wouldn't and she started talking shit about me. I held myself as much as I could but there was something she said that I flew off the bed and was running towards the kitchen because I was gonna kick her ass. Yes, me. I was going to punch her right in her mouth. As I was walking towards the kitchen (running, whatever) I was saying "Why is it that this bitch is always talking shit..." but Daddy was already shoving her out the door telling her to get the fuck out. She was saying "Ive been waiting to kick her ass...." and I'm screaming at her (at 7 am) to come do it, how sick of her I was and how lucky she was that Daddy closed the door and was standing in front of it. Because he was. He didn't want me to open it and give her the ass whooping she needs. So she was screaming through the door all kinds of bullshit...who cares. Daddy sent me back to bed (i felt like a teenager again, i swear it.) and told me to forget about it.
I tried.
But everytime I thought about the things she was saying, my blood would boil and I wanted to go right upstairs and pound on her door....ugh.
So whatever, she made up stories about what i text back to her making me look like a bad guy, but as stupid as I know she is I locked the messages so nobody would be able to tell me what was said and what wasn't. Daddy already knew what was what.
Look I'm getting upset just thinking about it...
Anyway-
Two days before Thanksgiving she sends a text saying "Daddy and his children are invited to my house for Thanksgiving and only them." Daddy had the phone in his hand when she sent that message and he erased it before I could see it because he knew it would have just made me go over the edge. He took two hours to even tell me what it said, and it was only after we were very far from the house and when he was sure he was holding the phone so i wouldn't call her to say anything. "I'm not going, so don't worry about it" he said to me.
"That's not the point. The point is that she already says I'm keeping you away from your family, and this is just going to add fuel to the fire." I sadi.
"Don't care. if you can't go I won't go."
"But-"
"Don't care."
So that's why we did the dinner at home, and then went to Friend's In-Law's house for dessert. We didn't spend Thanksgiving with our families for the first time ever. And I know Christmas will be the same. And I hate it. I don't know what I did wrong. Daddy's mother says Selfish is just jealous because supposedly he doesn't spend any time with his family anymore and she thinks it's because of me. She thinks I tell him not to talk to his family. Sorry, but Daddy is a grown ass man, i'm not holding his hands behnd his back telling him not to call his family. I talk to his mother more than he does. So that's that.
Tomorrow is Daddy's birthday. We're going to my MIL's for dinner, she's cooking him his (and my) favorite meal- GOAT! (Yes, i like goat, and it's only because one day she cooked and i thought it was some kind of beef and after I ate her and Daddy were laughing and THEN told me I had just eaten goat.)

So there's some venting from me.
I'm just shrugging my shoulders at everything now.

Peace.

Our Thanksgiving

We were really full here, that's why I strategically placed my son in front of me. I look gross, you can see the stupid dark circles that never go away. I made a roasted chicken because there was no turkey small enough for just us. And I made my signature cheesy potatoes. And pumpkin pie (yummy) and salad. It was nice.
Hope yours was nice, too....and share what you had for dinner I'm interested in knowing!

Nesting urges coming now...

Everytime I set foot in my house, I want to redecorate. Badly. Ever since we moved in we've been getting promises and promises that we're getting a new kitchen, a new bathroom, new counters...blah blah blah bullshit!
I'm tired of waiting.
Even our garage looks like garbage, and we can't even use it because the stupid door is broken. Daddy has been wanting them to fix our garage door so that we can #1- park our car in it and #2 so he can do his car stuff in there now that it's getting cold. No one wants to be outside in the blistering cold working on cars, and you know cars still need work done in the winter. Here is an example of our garage floor:
Gross, right? Cracked, chunks coming up that my son is always tempted to pick up and play with. Here are Daddy's dream garage floors :
Gorgeous, huh? It makes me wish we already owned our own house so we could get that garage floor installed. That floor is easy to clean so if any oil spills, just mop it right up instead of throwing dirt on it and waiting for the concrete to absorb it and just be stained forever. And it's appealing to the eyes, too. Not the boring gray tones we have going on. While I'm at it, I should start looking in to garage doors, right? And take it out of the rent?

Three days in...

So work is awesome. Easy stuff, I don't have to answer any phones, I just do paperwork all day and it's mostly billing. The two women I work for are sweethearts. The only person who has already gotten a nickname from me (a mental-meant-for-blogging-one) is the guy who keeps his food on my window. See, my office is right outside of one of the labs and right next to the door is a window to see into the lab...no food or drinks in the lab so he sets his 2 liter bottle of Mountain Dew and his apples or oranges right on the window. He's Snackman. It doesn't bother me, it just made him the first nickname earned. There are many scientisits there, obviously, but they are cool. One of them, who I'll end up working with when he needs help, he's really funny. He's been the one telling me who is a bitch and who is nice. The girls didn't want to tell me because they don't want to spoil 'it' for me. So he's the gossip...lol!
Funny how things work out: my first day I found out that the girl whose place I took is one of the girl's sister...so my heart sank and i thought 'well, there goes any chance of this becoming permanent...' but then the sister told me that she didn't have plans to return. So that's cool. Another thing is that another woman is offering for me to go to her dept. full time, but I hear she's a monster to work for...but she looks like she interviewed some people today and might have found her person. I'm okay with that, because I'm already pretty familiar with the job I have to do and I like it. What sucks major ass is that I don't have any internet at work. (BOOOOOO!!!!!)
Little Man was happy to go back to the sitter, right now he's actually asking to go back to her house to play. The baby cried the first day, less the next and less today. She'll get used to it. She has to, Mommy isn't always going to be around...that sounds cruel doesn't it?

So I want to wish everyone a happy and safe Thanksgiving. Fill up nice, forget the diets. Enjoy family time.

I hate asthma.

My son had a special day planned with my mother today, so he went to her house last night to spend the night so they could get and early start. When I dropped him off he had a bit of a runny nose, so I brought the chewables in case he ended up getting a cough. A mother is always prepared right?
NOOOOO!
Apparently I was prepared for the wrong thing, because my mother called me at four in the morning telling me that Little Man was puking. Oh my God...
She told me to go back to sleep (yeah, right mom...) and that she would call me if he puked again. At seven she called again. At 7:05 I was out the door in pj's...thank God I packed the arsenal of meds that we have in the cabinet for him because when I got there he was wheezing. (oh, no not again.) When I got there she told me all that he was puking up was phlegm, not exactly stomach contents, but still...
So I broke out the prednisone again, the pump and mask...
The cough he was about to get turned straight into the asthma. There was no more puking all day, the steroids made him super hyper, super hungry, and unfortunately more wheezy, but with the meds coursing through his veins he couldn't. sit. still. The wheezing is gone now (he's napping finally) but is this how it's going to be everytime he gets sick? At least if someone told me this I can be prepared...
I am actually grateful that he doesn't have the asthma that gets triggered off anything, but I still hate it.

Almost time for New and Improved Diana Snark!!!!

I got the job!!!!

Woo-hoo!

Come dance the happy dance with me!

Okay, so it's bitter-sweet since it IS a temporary position, I'm covering for someone's maternity leave, but (quoting Daddy) what if I kick so much ass that they decide to keep me??? (Yes, he really said that.) (Don't get me all excited like that, Daddy, that's just cruel.)
I kicked ass in the interview, I even surprised myself! The HR woman I met with first was okay she was a little quiet, and believe it or not I don't think she's ever interviewed anyone before. She seemed more nervous than I was. So she walked me to the next building over (huge industry) to where I would be working and left me with the two women I would be working for. They. Were. Awesome. They made me wish I was getting this job permanently. Five minutes into the interview they looked at eachother and one said (no nicknames yet...lol) "So do you want her to start right now? Because I do!" I gave myself an inner hi-five, I knew I had it in the bag. So I start Monday, working 9-1, sometimes later depending on how much work I have. Oh, and the department I'm working in is a chemical testing area. People walking around with white lab coats and beakers full of bubbly stuff.
Here's the funny twist in the plot- as I was filling out the backround check paper that they handed me before the interview even started, I had to give the number and address to my previous position. I did so without hesitation, but on the drive home I decided to call Head Admin to make sure Bossman wouldn't shit on me and tell them something bad. (Remember I still don't know if he's mad at the way things worked out with my daycare sitch.) Head Admin told me how funny it was that I called, she was just about to call me. (huh?) Turns out Foreclosure Guy (awesome guy that worked in my office who never got on my nerves, so I never wrote about him) needs a personal assistant. He is extremely busy seeing as how mortgage rates are going up, lots of people are losing their houses so HIS business is soaring. He has too much work...and she actually told him I was still looking for a job... so sometime in the next month he should be calling me to negotiate salaries...hopefully. So even if this awesome new job is only temporary I will probably (hopefully) be able to already have another job lined up. Hell, if he wants me to work through the holidays, I'll do both, because working for him will most likely be from home anyway, so i could do it at any time. I will probably have to get a fax machine though...
Well, thats that.
Thanks for your well-wishes.
I'm so happy about this I'm not going to let the new argument with Selfish even work its way into this post. I'll leave that for another day when I want to write angry. She can't bring me down.

A breather...

I have an interview tomorrow with the job i really wanted...let's hope all goes well. i'm going to be covering for someone's maternity leave so it's a temporary position, but it'll get me back into the swirl of things. Babysitter is set and waiting for word on if and when she gets my babies, black pants and collar shirts are washed and pressed...
the woman on the phone asked why i haven't worked since april, i told her about the office closing and then my own maternity leave and she said "so you're ready for a breather, some time away from home?" and laughed. she knows. she must be a mom.
the position is three hours a day, five days a week...i'll let you know once i know.

Some people just NEVER grow up...

So I've mentioned about a hundred and five times that Little Man's birthday party is Saturday (how I wish you all were close to invite, I'd rather have you guys there anyway, you'll see why after you read this...)
My SIL Selfless (the one I tolerate more than the other...) called us last night to wish Little Man a happy birthday and to tell us that my other SIL Selfish would not be attending the birthday party, nor would her daughters be there. Selfless told me that since Selfish and I had an argument (I was going to punch the bitch in her face, Daddy got in the way...) she didn't want her daughters around me.
My son is begging me for them to be there (and his older brother, who as far as I know he STILL isn't going to be allowed to come)
What kind of family values are we teaching these kids? The argument between me and the stupid SIL had nothing to do with the kids, why start trying to keep them away from eachother?
Stupid dumb fucks...
So know the only kids that will be at the birthday party will not be related. Not one. But my son considers them more family than his own family, how sad is that?
It makes me extremely grateful for the friends we have, because not one of them pulls any of this childish shit.
I can't wait for this birthday party to be over with.
Any of you feel like coming to RI for a day? You're more than welcome to the birthday party!

"Don't expect immediate results."

Isn't it great when you read that? I googled eczema today, and have the number to 3 Allergists that I'm going to call to see who can take Little Man first. (BTW-thanks Tuesday for the link.) So, seeing as how I have not changed our soap or detergent since the kid was born, the eczema may have been triggered by an allergy. Possibly a food allergy. (fucking great...) So thinking back, I haven't given him anything out of the ordinary to eat, and he hasn't even been to my mother's house so SHE couldn't have given him anything. I'm bringing him to an allergist to get the skin patch testing done to see once and for all WHAT the boy is allergic to, so that we can do some spring cleaning in our pantry. This is going to be fun. I feel bad for him, he isn't even really itchy anymore but he's all patchy (i'm going to post a photo from google so you can get an idea of what he looks like.) and I feel crappy that he has to spend his birthday all blotchy. (TOMORROW HE'S THREE! OMG!!!)
Hopefully the oral meds they gave him along with the cream I've been putting on him will keep it all under control, but 'don't expect immediate results'...because apparently this is going to take a while. Eczema likes to make itself comfortable...


picture: (This is the closest I could get, he only has this on his legs and arms...but you see why I thought it was ringworm? this is called nummular eczema.)

Sick and tired...some more

I couldn't sleep for shit last night. This depression thing is getting worse and worse as I keep checking my phone and e-mail for NOTHING.
Last night I was up till about four. Daddy woke at 6:30 for work. The kids thankfully woke at 9, giving me some type of sleep. But I was just sitting on the couch flipping through the channels, watching nothing and everything. At about 2:30 or so Daddy did come to the living room and sat next to me and just asked if I was going to bed...I just shook my head. He sat there next to me for about 15 minutes, but he didn't say anything. And I wanted to say something, anything, just to get some of this crap off my chest but I didnt say a word. Stupid me. I know he would have said something to try and make me feel better...maybe I wanted to feel this way? I stopped on Miami Ink and heard the story of one lady getting a portrait of her late husband on her shoulder and as I listened to her story, silent tears fell down my face. I don't really think I was crying for her dead husband, I think I was using it as an excuse so that I could finally let some kind of emotion out without anybody looking at me like I was crazy.
Even when I went to bed I lay there awake for quite some time listening to the three of them breathing.
And then when I woke up, I looked at Little Man's legs...at the most horrendous sight. Lumps and bumps everywhere, looking like his eczema exploded. He was complaining about being itchy. There were circular spots that looked like ringworm...my heart stopped. Another trip to the doc. He doesn't have ringworm, but his eczema did get out of control (but overnight???) and he has to take meds again.
Now my question became- how am I supposed to go and turn myself into a working mother again if things like this keep happening? Always having to deal with taking Little Man to the docs because he's got something or other...I always worried about Bossman being mad, and thugh he never showed it I knew it irked hi when i took a day off. Yeah, I could probably do part time, but then would that help the money sitch? And just FYI- there aren't too many offices looking for part time help.
I just hope i get some sleep tonight. All the running around I did today has me all types of exhausted. I wish I could sleep for 24 hours...

Nail Tech, if you read this, thanks for running around with me today. I think it would have been worse trying to do all that myself. You're alright for an adopted sister, you know...LOL!

I'm not THAT bad...(well, not that they know of)

I've sent a total of 21 copies of my resume to companies of all sorts in the past two weeks. I've been contacted by one. A kicker: he needed my resume in Word form and for some reason, when I e-mail it to him, it keeps getting sent back to me with a Failure to Send notice. So he called me back on Halloween, and to this day i haven't been able to get him the stupid resume. I called him and left him a message to let him know what was going on, so he doesn't think I'm not interested because I AM! I REALLY REALLY AM!

The baby is teething. Woo-hoo. (notice there should be some sarcasm there...) It's grand. She's gone from sleeping through the night to waking twice, and not taking more than a fifteen minute nap during the day. She shoves my fingers into her mouth and chews on them like her life depends on my fingers. Right now she is sleeping with the hand of her baby teddy bear in her mouth, and I thnk this may be the longest she's slept in days. I'm not moving the teddy bear for SHIT.

Little Man's birthday party is set for next Saturday. *BIG SIGH* It's supposed to be easy, but it's becoming more of a hassle than it needs to be. The Whore really told one of my SIL's that Daddy needs to call her to personally ask her permission for Little Daddy to be there. HA. Stupid ass, nothing better to do with her time...Little Man really wants Little Daddy to be there and I'd hate to be the one to tell him that his big brother is being kept away by the wicked witch of the East Coast because she still just wants to cause nothing but drama. Daddy refuses to call her to basically beg her for Little Daddy's appearance but told his sister to make sure Little Daddy is there. Pictures will be posted of the happy birthday boy.

I hope...

you all had a fun and safe Halloween...
we did!
My little Love Bug and my Superman! Tell me they aren't the cutest...








(Tony, I came very VERY close to sending my boy as leftovers...we didn't have a costume till the very last moment...I'm debating whether or not to do it anyway just to take the pics for you! LOL)