We were doing so well without you

I eat lunch at my desk on a regular basis mostly every day of the week, and it doesn't bother me one bit. Reason: There is hardly ever anyone in my office. We have a few daily stragglers that come in for an hour or two a day to do some paperwork, but mostly I'm here by myself. Sometimes I don't even shut the phones off, I have no problem answering the phones while I eat my lunch, as long as it doesn't ring while I just took a bite because then I'll let it ring. My boss doesn't take my lunch breaks out of my pay, even if I do leave. (Have I mentioned he's the best boss ever?)
Today I left. I used my lunch break to go pick up Daddy at "home" so he can drop me back off at work and take himself to work, since he starts at one. I didn't eat. So when I got back to my office, I went to a small diner down the block and ordered a hamburger deluxe (lettuce, tomatoes, fries. They make it sound like it comes with party favors and balloons.) and sat at my desk to eat it. I'm holding the burger, getting ready to take my first bite, when the highly-caffienated guy I hate oh so much comes running-yes, RUNNING- to my desk holding papers out at arms length saying "can you fax these for me?" I know he sees the burger in my hands. I know he really can walk the three feet to the fax machine, push the buttons on it and send the fax himself. Instead he stands there, still holding the papers out to me, waiting for my response. This wouldn't piss me off if he wasn't so stupid. This morning I walk in and there are papers on my desk. That is typical, because sometimes the people who work from home will come in after-hours and drop things off that I need for the files. But I look at the paper and it's a fax that needs to be sent out. I look closer and it belongs to this asswipe. I take my coat off and bring it to the back, where I find him, sitting at his desk, doing nothing. The fax could have been sent already. Everything with this guy is urgent, so I'm sure that fax needed to go out ASAP, but instead it was sitting on my desk waiting for me. What an ass. I should also mention he has his own personal assistant who doesn't send his faxes. Or organize his files. Or take his messages. What in the world are you paying the assistant for?
I'm going to have to start leaving the office for lunch.