I think we set a new record here. (*updated*)

• Yesterday, 5 p.m I call an agent to inform her that a fax came through and there is a list of certain paperwork that needs to be sent to the lawyer. I go home. Today, 10:28 a.m, that agent calls me and SAYS to me "I received a fax there yesterday with a list that I need to send to the lawyer." Yeah, lady, I left that message for you yesterday on your voicemail. "So, I guess I'll have to go in and look at the list so I can get the papers in order..." She's not being the least bit humorous about this, she's not joking. Me: "Yeah, I guess you do..." I don't know what the hell else to say. Her: "okay, I'll be in later then."

Sometimes I wonder about these people. But wait it gets better:

• 10:30 a guy calls and says: "Hi, Alicia Somebody-or-other?" Me: No, this isn't Alicia- Him: (cutting me off)"Okay I'll call back later then." Hangs up before I can tell him there is NO Alicia here and, well, I still won't be Alicia when he calls back.

I should start recording these phonecalls and posting them here, you guys would love it.

• And of course I can't forget the asshole that I love oh-so-much. He sent a paper to the other office so our bossman could sign it, and now he comes to my desk asking me where the paper is. How the fuck would I know, do I work at the other office? "Well I need that paper in forty-five minutes." Not my problem. "Can you call the other office and see if they can drop it off in the next half hour?" So I call the other office, it's signed and ready to go but our boss isn't there and no one else can bring the paper. I tell him this. "well, why not?" "Because everyone there is busy. But you can go pick it up, it's signed." "Well, no I don't want to do that, why can't (bossman) come drop it off?" I'm losing my fucking mind here. "(bossman) is NOT. IN. THE. OFFICE. How would he drop it off if he doesn't have it with him?" He mumbles something about nothing ever getting done. "Well, I can't hold (bossman's) hand. If he's not in the office, then he's not in the office. The paper is signed, you know where the other office is..." I swear not ten minutes has gone by and he's already come to my desk five times to ask me to remind them to drop the paper off TODAY.

I hate him. He's leaving the office at the end of the month, and I couldn't be happier. And the thing that gets me the most is that this asshole will talk so much shit and try to yell at me, but as soon as the boss comes he's all smiles and has his tail between his fucking legs. He must get a kick out of yelling at me, but as you can see I don't let it happen. My boss doesn't care, he knows the stupid guy is a punk bitch.

OH MY GOD ITS NOT EVEN LUNCH YET! I'm sure there will be additions to this list.

***updated to add- Daddy surprised me by showing up to take me to lunch. He didn't even know I was having a bad day till he walked in. The relief I felt was...indescribable. (I know I spelled that wrong). Anyway, I took Daddy to that place with the kick-ass Chicken Caesar Wraps, and an hour away from the office really helped.
But of course- The asshole came to my desk at about 2:30 to ask me for that goddamned paper again. I just looked at him and I wanted to laugh out loud. I said "Well, (bossman) came to the office about five minutes before I went to lunch and he had the paper in his hand. Did you check your mailbox???" The idiot was so ready to talk shit to me again, but he went and checked his mailbox and lo and behold ! The paper was there!!!!!!! He left the office without another word. Stupid ass.

Okay I'm better now.