I've been trying so hard...

to not watch the news about this PRICK. I don't want to know what is going on until the day they execute him. (which, YES, I do believe in the death penalty when it comes to assholes like this who show no fucking remorse for what happened. I don't believe in the death penalty for innocent people)
I remember that day so vividly, I didn't have class until 2 in the afternoon (freshman in college, what did you expect?) but I was up at eight. Who knows why. I was settling down to some do some serious morning vegging in front of the t.v when my channel flicking was interrupted. I thought I had fallen upon a movie- but why would someone make a movie about planes going into the Twin Towers? I put the volume up on the t.v, and I realized it wasn't a movie. I sat there in my living room, frozen, watching as people threw themselves out of windows to save themselves. I watched, paralyzed, as people ran to get away from the falling towers and the cloud that was spreading ominously. I began to cry, loudly. There was no one in the house, but I was calling for my mother. (real grown up huh?) Somehow I found the feeling in my hands long enough to dial my mother's work number, and she was crying when she answered. "Baby, I know...I know..." were her words. "The phones aren't working I can't get in touch with anyone." Half of my family lives in New York. My aunt is a seamstress that works a block away from the towers. What are we supposed to do? How can we get there? How can we know if they are okay? The announcements started- "This isn't an accident." "New York is in a state of 911" That's today's date, that's today's date!!!!! "...terrorists..." "...hijacked planes..." "Mom people are dying! Kid's parents have been killed! Look at them jumping out of windows!!!!!" I was hysterical. I wrapped myself in a blanket and cried as I watched the news all day. I still went to class for some reason, and I remember when I stepped outside there was this deafening silence. It was like everyone just stopped talking, stopped making noise. We sat in class watching the news, crying. There was nothing we could do from here, just wait. Waiting was the worst part. Waiting to hear if anyone in your family is dead. Waiting to hear how many have died. Waiting to see if it would happen again, somewhere else. I didn't eat for days. I was angry that people would do this, that they would ruin so many lives and futures. That they would leave children without parents and parents without children. Family from Puerto Rico was calling us, frantic because they wanted news. I think almost a month went by before we heard anything from any of our family members, one by one they would call and just tell us they were okay. My aunt the seamstress hadn't gone to work that day because she had a series of doctors appointments in another borough. Such a sigh of relief from our side, but the people who couldn't release that breath? The people who were still waiting? The people who would never hear their husbands/wives/childs/parents/sisters/brothers voice saying they were okay?
In the article it says that asshole said "No pain, no gain America." What the FUCK have we gained from this pain? More pain as our soldiers get killed? More pain as innocent lives, more people who don't even want this happening are getting killed? Iraqi families who aren't a aprt of this getting killed? He was smiling while tapes were being played of the 911 calls. He was smiling as people recounted their terror of that day. His defense lawyer is trying to say he is schizophrenic so they won't put him to death.
In the article, a little boy wants to be an astronaut so he can find his Daddy in heaven. It breaks my fucking heart to know that that little boy still has hopes of finding his Daddy, and we know what will happen. I hope he does see his Daddy in heaven, I hope we will see them all again.
I hope they stick that fucking heartless bastard in a building and run a plane into it.
It will never end, I know. It can only get worse. Everyone thinks they are right. The government is all fucked up.
I saw a bumper sticker on a car this morning in the parking lot that is Interstate 95- it read "No one died when Clinton lied." How true, how true. I want one for my car.