Tuesday, November 21, 2006

The good news is I get a day off....

the bad news is that it's not for a reason I would LIKE to have a day off.

I have this friend that I've known since I was 18, met her when we started working at the Dept. Store together. We were instant friends, going out on the weekends to all the great hot spots. Her boyfriend was a DJ and he would get us on THE LIST anywhere he was performing. We were like sisters. Then she moved back home to her parents house when she got pregnant and Deadbeat DJ ran away like a little bitch. She had the two most beautiful kids in the world, boy-girl twins born healthy and strong. Her parents were helping her out any way they could with the kids, her father went back to work at the hospital after retiring the year before, her mother would work nights so she could be home with the kids during the day when my friend worked.
Then a year and a half ago her mother was diagnosed with Cancer.
Stomach Cancer.
"We can take care of this." they heard.
"You can get an operation and Chemo and we'll see how things go." they were told.
Her stomach was removed...YES REMOVED..and they made her a new stomach using her intestine.
"You'll be fine."
"It'll be better soon."
"Things are looking really good."

Nothing got better.
She hasn't been fine since then.
Daddy and I went to visit them this past summer. MOM couldn't have been more than 75 lbs tops...it was torture hugging her, I felt like I was hugging a skeleton and I wanted to cry just looking at her. She doesn't deserve this, she was never sick. She never so much as had a cold the entire time I've known them.
My friend e-mailed me this morning, a very short e-mail, one I know she didn't want to have to write: They can't do anything else for Mom. They have her on pain meds and it's just a waiting game now. She won't be here for Christmas.
So I've already told my boss that I'll be needing a day off sometime soon-just don't know when it's a waiting game remember?-and I told him why. He understands.

I don't.

I don't see why things like this have to happen to the least deserving people, not that ANYBODY deserves CANCER. NOBODY. Nobody should have to go through the pain she is going through, no one should have to go through the emotional rollercoaster that her family is going through. Her grandkids shouldn't have their grandmother taken away from them, her children shouldn't have to lose their mother. Her husband shouldn't have to lose his wife of a million years (high school sweethearts...)

I'm trying to make a trip to CT to visit before she passes, I at least want to see her just one more time, I want to cuddle with her on her comfy couch the way I did when I would visit for the weekend...
I've never had anyone close to me pass away...she would be the closest person to me to pass away...
How do people make it through this?


Anonymous said...

My Dad died from Leukemia in 1999. If you need anything, including just a place to vent or some understand ears, PLEASE let me know. We can chat on the phone, if you want!

Take good care. I know this is very difficult. I live in CT.. I'll be sure to send some prayers from here...


dennis said...

My grandmother died from a blood disease when I was in high school. Turns out it is fairly common and I have it too.

Untreated it will literally 'rust' me from the inside out.

Faith, Love, Good Friends. Don't be ashamed to call them, cry on their shoulders and scream at the sky.

Anonymous said...

My grandmother (who raised me) passed away 6 years ago from Brain Cancer. We were very close. It was the most horrible experience I've ever encountered.
And then my wife's mother was diagnosed with terminal Breast Cancer.

Family and my wife were what helped though that time, they were all going through it too.

You never really get over it though (at least I didn't).

Mama of 2 said...

Diana, my aunt who was only 15 years my senior -- you know the cool aunt, the one that taught you how to wear make-up, showed you how to cook and you told all of your secrets to died of lung cancer 2 years ago this October.
I still miss her terribly. She was my place to go when I needed to escape the world or needed to laugh. We would drink tea together and talk about any and everything. It's hard to drive passed her house everyday (yes she lived that close to me) and not feel a pang of longing especially for Girlie Girlie who will never get to know the wonderful person she was.

My thoughts are with you during this tough time and please pass along my thoughts and prayers to your long time friend.

Diana said...

I'm sorry for all your losses- I do see a common thread: "You never get over it." If I'm this much of a mess with my friend's mother, imagine what a wreck I'll be with someone from my actual family...
This just isn't fair.
Thank you for you thoughts and kind words.

Really, thank you.

Melissa said...

I'm sorry to read about your friend's Mom. Hopefully there is some solace in the fact that she did have a healthy and happy life and was an integral part in the lives of her beautiful grandchildren. My thoughts are with your friend and her family during this difficult time.