To the PRICK on the phone

To the PRICK who called my job at 4 fucking 50 yesterday-
Listen ASSHOLE, if I tell you three fucking times that the person you are looking for is Not here - THEN THEY ARE NNNNNOOOOOOTTTTT HHHHEEEEERRRRREEEEEEE!!!!!!!
When you asked me the second time, I know you heard me getting testy, because you repeated "Oh, he's not there?" after I told you the first time. You didn't want his voicemail, you didn't want to leave a message with me, you just wanted to drive me fucking crazy!!!
What bothered me more was the fact that you asked me if I was "A Spanish". What the fuck is a Spanish? Were you trying to NOT call me a spic? because if you called me a spic I think it would have gone over better-
But I finally got you off the phone, no voicemail, no message left, you just hung up. And I couldn't be happier. I'm not allowed to shut the phones off until 5 on the dot- and at 4:55, you decide to call again.
And. asked. me. again. for . the . same. fucking. person.
Were you waiting for me to say "Oh yeah! he's right here, I was busting your balls the whole time! Hahaha..."?
"HE. IS. NOT. HERE. WOULD YOU LIKE HIS VOICEMAIL?"
"yeah, sure gimme that"
PRICK.
I drove home with Alanis Morrisette's Jagged Little Pill BLARING on my cd player because that's when she was angry. And she would have chewed that guys head off and spit it out on her ex-boyfriend's dinner plate.