Friday, May 26, 2006

Needs and Wants

I want another baby.
This is a conversation that will not happen in my house in the near future. Daddy doesn't want any more. Sure, he has another son from his Other Life, but we never get to see him (his mother is a whore and is still bitter that Daddy could be happy with someone else and punishes him by not letting him see Little Daddy. Bitch. But I'm not angry...), but I only have Little Man. Things were difficult when we first had Little Man, and we have finally found a comfort zone (of sorts) where we can actually eat everyday, and the car has gas, and Little Man has diapers. Well, you know, except for when the bank swallows our money. We are comfortable. Another baby would put us in a bind, because at some point I would have to stop working, meaning Daddy would be the only source of income. Then I would go back to work, but then we would have to pay the babysitter for two kids. So it makes sense to stay as we are. But I can't help but think that my Little Man will be lonely. I don't have him in day care, even though now there are two other kids at his sitter's house. But they aren't his brother and sister.
I don't know.
This was just a thought that has been going through my head recently. Maybe now that I wrote it I can forget about it and stay in my comfortable life...
I need to stay in my comfortable life, I don't want to struggle the way we did when Little Man first came ever again.
But I want another baby...


Mama of 2 said...

I know how you are feeling. I have seriously thought about adding another child to our family. And if I didn't have to work I wouldn't hesitate. Right now Little Man and Girlie Girlie are watched by my mom free of charge but I know she would have a hard time if I added a 3rd child to the mix especially one so close to Girlie Girlie's age.

So either I would have to stop working or do some sort of day care and honestly the day care isn't something I am comfortable with. Either way that would present major money issues all the way around but that doesn't stop me from wanting one more child.

I try to remember that God blessed me with 2 happy healthy kids and be happy. I think that if we are really meant to have another child God will work his magic.

Good luck with your decision.

Jen said...

I have always heard(and share this with your hubby)... You will NEVER regret having another baby, but you will regret never having another baby. I guess that only works if you do want another, like you do. Seriously, if you dont have another, that want will eventually turn to resentment...and that will be worse for your marriage than any financial struggle at the beginning of another life joining your family.

Diana said...

you both have given me more food for thought. Thank you. Now, to think some more...

SuperMom said...

I think it's something innate within us to want babies. I have three but always think, "What If...?"

What am I, CRAZY???!!!

I have two friends whose husbands said "no more" after one, but eventually decided to have another. Perhaps in time your husband will feel differently.

Keep the lines of communication open. You never know :-)