Friday, May 19, 2006

Some Friday Stuff

Two jokes I read on this site:
An old man and woman were married for many years, even though they hated each other. When they had a confrontation, screaming and yelling could be heard deep into the night. The old man would shout, "When I die, I will dig my way up and out of the grave and come back and haunt you for the rest of your life!" Neighbors feared him. They believed he practiced black magic, because of the many strange occurrences that took place in their neighborhood. The old man liked the fact that he was feared. To everyone's relief, he died of a heart attack when he was 68. His wife had a closed casket at the wake. After the burial, she went straight to the local bar and began to party, as if there was no tomorrow. Her neighbors, concerned for her safety, asked, "Aren't you afraid that he may indeed be able to dig his way up and out of the grave and come back to haunt you for the rest of your life?" The wife put down her drink and said, "Let him dig. I had the bastard buried upside down..."

A senior citizen in Florida bought a brand new Corvette convertible. He took off down the road, flooring it to 80 mph and enjoying the wind blowing through what little hair he had left on his head. "This is great," he thought as he roared up I-75. He pushed the pedal to the metal even more. Then he looked in his rear view mirror and saw a highway patrol trooper behind him, blue lights flashing and siren blaring. "I can get away from him with no problem" thought the man and he tromped it some more and flew down the road at over 100 mph. Then 110, 120 mph.
Then he thought, "What am I doing? I'm too old for this kind of thing." He pulled over to the side of the road and waited for the trooper to catch up with him. The trooper pulled in behind the Corvette and walked up to the man. "Sir," he said, looking at his watch. "My shift ends in 10 minutes and today is Friday. If you can give me a reason why you were speeding that I've never heard before, I'll let you go." The man looked at the trooper and said, "Years ago my wife ran off with a Florida State Trooper, and I thought you were bringing her back"
"Have a good day, Sir," said the Trooper



Some people have way too much time on their hands. (Pun intended? maybe...) (The cans are cool though...)

Thank goodness they were able to save this baby. I'm so glad the nurses spoke up. I hope the baby will be okay.

5 comments:

Tuesday Girl said...

funny!

Now if women would just stop leaving their babies in trash bins, there are just so many loving families that need babies.

Diana said...

Thank you! I agree!

Mama of 2 said...

hye Diana I wanted to say thanks for stopping by my blog. It's nice to see comments here and there. BTW I LOVE the title of yours. It made me smile immediately.
I loved the first joke. It made me laugh out loud and as for the baby sorry it makes me said. Like the pp said so many couples who can't have children want one so desperately that things like this story should never happen.

Stitching Barbie Girl said...

Back when I had time to get my nails done (before my child) I was sitting in the nail salon and this man who was there getting a manicure told his tech the joke about the state trooper, but told her like it happened to him and she believed him!

sweatpantsmom said...

I love the can sculptures.

As for the finger 'art' I would have to agree that someone has too much time on their hands (pun definitely intended.)