Friday, January 05, 2007

Wonder how the KOOKS in my office are doing?

  1. The Shitter: Oh man. Let me share (and gross you out-if you're squeemish, feel free to skip this. It's really gross. REALLY.) something that happened last week. Let's just say that I didn't use the bathroom in this office at all for the entire week last week. I would literally wait till I got home, and hopefully I didn't go and give myself a UTI from this...well, apparently The Shitter wasn't feeling well. As he is usually THE SHITTER, he will spend at least half an hour up to three times a day in the bathroom. Everyone knows not to go into 'that back office' for quite a while after he's been in there...but last week he had a stomach bug AND STILL CAME TO WORK. He spent over 90% of his time in there. I swear the cleaning guy had to disinfect that bathroom every single day last week, what's worse is that the smell would carry over to the back of our office, and it wouldn't seem to go away no matter how much air freshner was sprayed. I refused to go into the bathroom. Still do, actually.
  2. Stoopid: She called my boss yesterday and told him that I refused to help her look up some information on this digital directory thing we have in the office. I have shown her how to use this directory THREE TIMES, once with Beantown right next to me trying to explain it to her, too. She just doesn't understand. ANYTHING. So to make herself look good and make me look bad she says she asked me for help numerous times and that I keep refusing. She didn't think I could hear her saying this to my boss, she forgets that I'm a mommy and I now have supersonic hearing made for picking up even the slightest noises at great distances. If she wants to go and say that to my bossman, I will just start refusing to help her. Then she won't be a liar. BITCH.
  3. Chatterbox- OY. Get me a universal remote like in this movie so I can mute her. I bask in the silence of this office, since I get no peace and quiet at home. (What parent of a toddler does, really?) But when she comes in, (I'm guessing she lives alone) she can't stay quiet for more than a minute. She will tak to anyone, and even herself if she sees no one is paying her any mind. She was in here at 9:05 this morning, I hadn't even gotten any caffeine into my system (DANGEROUS!) and she was jumping off the walls. Lady, just shut the fuck up for five minutes so I can settle in without havig to claw your eyes out.

That's what's going on here. Not too exciting, but eh.

8 comments:

dennis said...

One would think that after this long, and bossman never supporting her (at least not in front of you) she would take the hint..?

I gotta tell you, if I had not started out life as a reporter for the criminal courts, the sloppy joes I just sat down with to read your post might not taste as good!!

Anonymous said...

I always kind of wondered how The Shitter got his name. Now, I know...hahaha.

Anonymous said...

These people need their own sitcom

Diana said...

dennis-hmmmm, sloppy joes...
rebecca- oh yes, he is quite the bathroom hog.
tony-should I send the application in to NBC? It seems they would put anything on t.v now anyway...

Anonymous said...

It sounds like the shitter has an intestinal disease such as ulcerative colitis or crohn's disease. Trust me. I know.

Diana said...

You know Anon, I have been thinking along these lines as to what may be wrong with him. I hope he gets treatment...I feel bad for the guy, but I also (selfishly) feel bad for my own bladder and urinary tract...

Melissa said...

It's like a scene out of Office Space!

Anonymous said...

For the sake of all, someone should leave him some Imodium-AD Tablets as a not so subtle hint. And the number of a gastro doc. Maybe he's a sadist though.