So frikkin tired...

I'm exhausted. Story of my life, really. My baby girl seems to be getting some new chompers in...I believe it's the top ones this time, and boy does she need her parents. Only at night. While we're asleep.
The other night she woke up at 3 a.m and wouldn't sleep unless it was on my chest. I didn't sleep a wink after that since I'm usually on my side or my stomach to sleep, so I was super uncomfortable. Tonight she is on Daddy's chest, they are in the living room right now...Daddy had put her to sleep on the bed (GAH! NO!!!) and she woke up as soon as I transferred her to her crib. Hmmmm, I don't think so Ms. Missy, it's bad enough your big brother is kicking me out of my own bed, you aren't going to do it too...
Funny how I have actually moved my self to the couch no less than three times in the last week, because Daddy's lazy ass puts her in the bed when she wakes up and with the four of us in the bed, it just ain't cutting it. My son sleeps spread-eagle, my daughter has to be literally under someone, and my husband is 6 feet tall. It's a queen sized bed, yes, but it's not big enough for all of us.

The pooping: I've been giving her prunes. She loves them, the thing is (and this happened when she was a baby, too) is that sometimes it gives her explosive diapers. I'm trying to give her one a day or every other day or so...Apple or pear juice used to work with my son (still does actually) but I haven't seen much difference with her and juices. (Unless it's prune juice of course...) We'll see.

It's late and I should be sleeping...

Should be...

Irritation about constipation

Without getting into details - does a-prune-a-day work for constipated babies?
My poor baby girl...

Anything you guys have tried that has worked... suggest away!

I can't drive...

My sister in law asked Daddy to recharge her AC in the car. So we took her car to the garage where Daddy did just that. Daddy sends me to the store to buy some water since it was hella hot (this happened yesterday) and I get in the car...and start looking for the clutch to start the car with...

My car is a stick.

Her car is not.

Daddy noticed and laughed at me and says "You think you can handle an automatic???"

Hardee-frikkin-har-har Funny Guy.

I pulled out of the garage and got to the corner...and immediately put my foot 'down' on the 'clutch', and my hand went to the shifter to downshift...

I couldn't do it. I couldn't drive a frikkin automatic without trying to hit the clutch or change gears or anything. I laughed at myself, because I never thought that driving a stick could turn into such a habit...


Meanwhile here's a pic that was taken today of Friend's Demon Child and my son...they were going for a bike ride with Big Guy (friend's hubby) We went by their house today for a quick visit...we haven't been there in a while. It was alright. Eh.

At home today...

The heat index for our area today is in the red zone, so I stayed. I know the sitter has an AC but I also know she would feel bad just leaving Little Man in the house all day, and she would let him outside. That is where the danger is, this stagnant air we have here right now is what triggers the attacks. So he's here destroying my home after it was pretty decently clean for a few days. HA. I'm doing all types of rain dances so these thunder storms will come and cool this place off already.
I will be writing here all day today. This is the end of the first entry, because they need to eat.
(Hey my layout is fixed YAY!)

***I did want to add - that new little box I have over on the top of the sidebar about the food allergies is NOT AN AD. I AM NOT GETTING PAID TO HAVE IT THERE. I joined the Kids With Food Allergies mailing list and they have the widgets available for anyone who wants to share them. I have it up because I don't know if anyone else knows anyone with food allergies but it's important to know what food are popping up with allergens. Like- my son is allergic to tree nuts and peanuts. Severely allergic. Guess what has traces of peanut oil in it?

• 
  

• Minute Maid HeartWise® orange juice is made with plant esterols derived from highly refined peanut or soy oil.
  
  
  Important label reading points: 1) Different varieties of the same product can have different ingredients. 2) Highly refined oils like soybean oil or peanut oil have an exemption from the FALCPA labeling law that went into effect in 2006. Manufacturers are not required to clearly label products with highly refined oils with the plain English terms of the common allergens "peanut" or "soy.
• 
  

Nice huh? Who would have thought that orange juice would have peanut oil in it? I love their e-mails because it makes me aware of what's going on...otherwise I wouldn't know where to look. (Also I wouldn't give my son that type of OJ because it's really for lowering cholesterol...but still good to know.)

Sweaty

I came home soaked just from the drive from work.
Daddy stayed home with Little Man today 'just in case'.
He was fine, but I'm still nervous about sending him to the sitter tomorrow.
I have to give him a bath right now (and I'm sitting here...) and hook him up to the machine before he falls asleep on me.
I've tentatively let my bosses know I may not be in tomorrow 'just in case'.
My sitter thinks I could end up fired...

(My son just came to me and said 'hurry up mommy I have to take a bath' he's too cute for words.)
So i'll go and give him a bath then...
P.S - AJW - if you stop by here, shoot me an e-mail.

Were we in hell today???

It's only the first week of June and today was the hottest HOTTEST day ever...
and we didn't even reach 100 like they did down south...

I went to run some errands with my mother and the kids for a couple hours and by the time we were done, we were all tired and cranky and HOT. For some reason, even though my car is the 'top model' Civic, it doesn't have air conditioning.
Did you read that part??? TOP MODEL- that's an EX - CIVIC WITH NO AC!!!
Yeah, we were dying. I came home with the kids, we all took a nice long nap, but when we woke up Little Man had a nasty scary asthma attack. I didn't leave the house for the rest of the day, canceling our plans to go to a cook-out at a friend's house. He's had to get pumped a few times already, and I gave him the nebulizer after his bath, and he is still breathing a little funny for my taste...I don't think I'll be sleeping tonight. Daddy is so relaxed when it comes to the attacks, while I'm all frantic (but efficient I must say...I can now get them under control very quickly thank you very much!) The poor kid gets pukey when he gets attacks, and was dry heaving for a bit before the meds kicked in. I felt so bad cause I know he was hot and doesn't want to be feeling this way...

We had an appointment with the allergist this morning, our follow-up to the scratch test. "Keep giving him milk, but let's take the eggs away for three weeks and see if they may be the underlying cause of his eczema. That could be the allergic reaction they are giving him." So no eggs for him for a while. New appointment in August. Let's see...

Stupid layout

I don't know what's going on with my layout, why my sidebar has decided to travel to the bottom of the page. I haven't been able to see my page for a long time, I would write through my e-mail, so I don't even know how long this has been this way...anyone wanna clue me in as to how long, so I can take a stab on why it's like this...?
I tried changing the layout but that didn't work.
***Bikini...Ms. Blog Expert, if YOU know of anything, feel free to share!***

My daughter just came to me with the remote control, I take it she doesn't want to watch what my son is watching...

In the midst of my mental storm...

I still had promised pictures of my babies from the baptism...so here they are: my Prince and Princess...enjoy! ... Here's my boy, I don't know, maybe he was doing a basketball shot?
Here is the Princess.
Here are my sister's step-children "hanging" outside with Little Man.
Here is Baby Girl pulling my hair... Here is the group shot: from the left: My cousin who is Little Man's Godfather, Daddy, Me and the kids, the priest, my sister who is Little Man's Godmother, my mother, Daddy's mother who was standing in for Baby's Godmother who couldn't make it, and my sister's boyfriend who is Baby's Godfather.
It was an event to remember, Little Man says in the middle of the service in a very loud voice "Can we go home now?"
There were more pictures taken, but I'm still waiting for everyone to e-mail them to me since I couldn't play photographer that day.
There a shot of Little Man picking his nose...classic! Can't wait to get it!

I need...

I need a boost.
I'm still not doing well (mentally) I still feel so depressed but I have to wear the smile and go about my day. I can't hold it in much longer. I dont even know what's wrong...

I came in from work today and Daddy was already home with the kids and he had an attitude from God knows where. okay, so if you're stressed out don't take it out on me, my fuckin life is not all peaches and roses but i dont get bitchy with you.

i need a friend. i've gone back to keeping everyone at arm's length again. i dont know why... maybe i just dont want anyone to see how miserable i am.

i stay away from my family. i stay away from everyone. i dont want to.
i hate this.
i hate myself for feeling this way.

i hate that i dont know how to make it better.

Holy Hell...

OMG. I got a late Mother's Day gift last night. (And Daddy got an early Father's Day gift...)


Isn't she a beauty???
This means I'm back on AT HOME! And I can blog without being paranoid at being fired BECAUSE I CAN DO IT FROM HOME AGAIN! And I can read up on you guys that I miss so much! And I can (possibly) do some ads again(I dunno...gotta see if they still like me, been gone a long time!)
Holy Frikkin ...
Welcome back, Diana! LOL!
So with that I leave you...until later when it starts to rain and I will start catching up here. Unless my husband has sat down, then I'll have to wrestle him away...once that guy starts watching his car videos....*groan* lol!
I'm happy.
I love my honey, he's the bestest, especially for finally hearing me when I said "I need my computer!!!"

Medical Events - they are too common in my home now...

I have said it many times before and I will say it again, my children are polar opposites. Everything that I didn't go through with my son I am going through with my daughter.

THRUSH.

My daughter puts everything in her mouth, and this (according to the doc) may be the underlying cause on the pretty little bubbles in her mouth.

Anti-fungal antibiotic-type chalky stuff has to be swooshed in her mouth four times a day, great fun for a baby. Fun for Mommy, too, who is now the enemy because I always want to put the stuff in her mouth that she DOES. NOT. LIKE. It isn't a toy, a nickel, a sock, or whatever she may want in there…when I say she will put anything in her mouth, I mean it. I have to constantly run my fingers in there to make sure there aren't any surprises…

 

ALSO- SHE TURNED ONE LAST SUNDAY!

My baby had her first birthday!

We didn't really do anything, we bought a Boston Crème Cake (think giant Boston Crème donut…but better tasting) and she had the weirdest look on her face when she saw the candle lit.

 

We had a visit with the allergist to do the oh-so-much-fun back scratch (stab???) test…that had to be the worst thing I've ever had to hold my son through. My poor boy, laying on me, not suspecting that this nurse-woman was going to stab him with 20-some odd needles at once…

But it needed to be done. Turns out he may be allergic to milk and eggs, too. Which I find weird because the boy will sometimes drink a cup or two of milk instead of eat a meal, and he's been drinking milk since he turned ONE and he has never EVER had a reaction. Same with eggs, no reaction… The nurse says to me "Well, maybe his stomach hurts and you just don't know." NO LADY! My son will tell me if his stomach hurts, see that's the good thing about children is they are very vocal and can communicate these things. Plus he's never had any vomiting or diarrhea which usually accompanies an allergic reaction besides the swelling and stuff…so a consultation is in order with the head doc there, because, well, frankly I don't believe the scratch test. Is that bitchy of me?

 

The reason he will be famous some day...

My son came running to me with his magna-thingie and said "Mommy! Look what I drew!"
Obviously I"m going to look...
He said "It's eyes, mouth, and BOOBIES!"

Yes, my son already incorporates boobies in his pictures.

Men...

oh my aching head...

I have to remember to upload a picture of a drawing my son made…you guys will love it.

Stress:::::why is it that something so simple as baptizing children can be so stressful? The kids are getting baptized tomorrow, ask me if anything is ready…

Or just answer yourself with a resounding "NO!"

Or just laugh maniacally non-stop which is basically what I've been doing.

I've been really busy at work, they are purposely keeping me away from you, I tell you.

Keep me in your thoughts as I try not to commit murder in a church this weekend if my bitchy sister-in-law shows up…

Things have still been heating up on that end, I'll have to catch you up.

So pictures will be coming of that drawing and of my prince and princess in their outfits!

 

Saddness

I have something to write about, though I wish to God that I didn't have to write it...
My cousin back in NY gave birth to her first son last week. On Saturday her husband was walking around the house, just holding him, while they had guests in their home.
The baby died in his arms.
There is no explanation.
There were no complications during birth.
My cousin is going crazy, and her husband has had to be sedated the past few days...

I'm just glad they got to meet him, even though I know that is no comfort in this time.

Playing catch up...

Apparently the allergy season is extremely out of control this year. Claritin is doing NOTHING for my poor son, we have scheduled the dreaded scratch test so that we can try to take steps from there on medicating him. He can't just take the shot because suddenly the shot has been having some questionable reactions in asthma patients. Hmmmmm….

This season has been really bad, he has been having asthma attacks every.single.night….in his sleep. I don't sleep at all because I'm up listening to him breathe. I'm overly exhausted. I have four new gray hairs that are very noticeable so I'm going to have to find time (HA!) to dye my hair. (Yeah, I know boo-hoo, I have four gray hairs…they are not my firsts but they have all grown in the front and stick up like alfalfa's cowlick no matter what I put in my hair!)

 

In other news my daughter has decided that she didn't want to spend her first birthday (the 18^th! OMG!) toothless, so she let her two bottom teeth start to come out. Thankfully they haven't been bothering her too much, so that's a bit of a relief. It's surprising though, because they are both coming in at the same time…Little Man's came in two at a time also but they would kill him. It's true, all babies are different, but mine are polar opposites in every way possible.

 

WHAT DO YOU PAY YOUR BABYSITTER?

Daddy and I have to go to church on Wednesday night to speak to the priest about baptizing our children...my mother is not back from Puerto Rico so I'm going to leave the kids with a friend's daughter. She is good with my kids, they love her, Little Man actually BEHAVES with her (She's 17...)

But the thing is I've never had to actually pay a sitter for my kids, they usually go to my mother or their regular sitter, and she sits for free if Daddy and I have to go somewhere.

What's the going rate for 17 year old sitters?

And should I just go with my regular sitter for free since it's only for about an hour and a half??? (free is for me! LOL)

LOOK HOW BIG WE ARE!

baby girl is 11 months, Little man is 3 1/2.
Huge.
And still nicknamed Big and Bad.

FUNNY THING...

I find it hilarious that I once had a reader that STOPPED reading because I was doing PPP. She went (on her own blog, which is how I knew, because I would read hers, too) and called me a sell-out and commercial and went on to say that no one wants to read someone getting paid to talk about things because it wasn't genuine.

I had asked you guys if it bothered you that I was doing a few ads to make some extra money, and the majority of you didn't have a problem.

I kept her on my sidebar (I don't know why…) and I actually checked in on her recently…

Guess who's doing ads?

Yep, same person who bitched and complained about my commercial-ness…

Like I said, I find it hilarious.

I won't say anything bad. I hadn't checked in on her blog in a long time so I don't know what happened to make her have to do paid entries, but here's what I have to say:

I UNDERSTAND.

I won't say you're a sell-out, I won't say no one wants to read you anymore.
I UNDERSTAND….being broke is GENUINE.

I haven't done paid ads in a long time, not because I don't have to, because that extra money helps out A LOT…mainly because my job has a block on the pages I use for my ads. Yep, that's why. If not, you would still see some ads sprinkled in here.

Oh, and I got rid of my home computer. It was a junker and was on it's last legs…so now I'm solely depending on my work pc for e-mails and other things internet.

That's all I had to say about that…

 

Friday Funny

Daddy was in the bathroom brushing his teeth while I went in to ask him a question.  He gave me the muffled "mmhmmm" answer I was looking for and I watched for a moment as he brushed his tongue.

"You would have made a great gay man, you know."

He gave me a puzzled look. "Mmm?"

"It doesn't look like you have a gag reflex…"

 

Yeah, I got pushed out of the bathroom.

LOLOL!!!!

Leaving on a jet plane...

Today my mother boards a plane to beautiful, sunny, vacation-esque Puerto Rico. I wait for her call tonight with a heavy heart, knowing that while many years ago we used to board that plane with beaches and coconut drinks on our minds, my mother is going to watch her sister die.

My fingers sit on this keyboard and I can't even think of any words to say…

Her flight will be seven hours long, a trip that usually takes three hours from here, but there are two layovers. One is in Newark, where another one of my aunts will be joining my mother on the plane.

They are the last two to join the bunch already there…except of course for the one aunt that LEFT the island on a vacation…

 

I went to my mother's house last night so she could see the babies before she left, and I wanted to cry because I saw the way she hugged them a little longer. She too knows that someday everyone will have to make this trip for her…"when you get older it's what you think about." She said to me. I think about it now…I wanted to say to her. But I just nodded.

 

She will be back in two weeks. By then I imagine that they would have already cremated my aunt (her wishes) and my mother will return to her normal routine, minus the daily phone calls to her dear sister. The phone calls actually stopped once they put her into the coma…but now there won't even be the 'checking in' phone calls to the hospital…

 

My mother says it would be better for her to pass on already instead of be in this pain, she says it's better for her to watch us from the sky instead of through the haze she sees everyone through now. What a great way to see things…but who wants to let anyone go, really?

*shaking my head*

No matter how hard you pray…

It was our friend in the accident. He got T-boned by a Scion TC at an intersection who ran a red light. He got banged up pretty bad, his car went into a pole, he hit the steering wheel. His face looks like he got into a scrapping match with Mike Tyson and he lost one if his front teeth. He can't even stand up right now, the docs are not letting him go home until the swelling goes down on his legs to see if he has any damage because the X-Rays are coming up inconclusive.

The car, obviously, is totaled, but he is ALIVE.

 

Alive.

 

Phew…

 

You know when someone calls you and you get this shiver down your spine? Because they tell you something so horrendous, but you can't do anything about it?

Well, Daddy and I just got a phonecall like that.

One of our friends has a very distinct car...and another friend says he saw that car on a tow truck smashed up pretty bad...

and our buddy isn't picking up his phone which is weird...

I'm pulling a stalker move during my lunch break and driving by his house...hoping to see his car there, parked and fine. If it isn't there....

 

 

God, just let it be there.

Bitchiness and a concern

Am I a mega-bitch for deliberately sending my son to my mother's house last Saturday – for the day- when I knew that there was a birthday party at the Selfish Bitch's house upstairs?

Am I a super mega bitch for wanting to send my daughter, too? I didn't send her because then it would have been too obvious since Daddy and I had no where to go… but my mother took Little Man to see the Horton movie and kept him with her all day long. So OOPS! He missed the party…what a shame.

Yes, I did it on purpose. I didn't want to start a fight so I didn't flat out tell Daddy that I didn't want my kids to go, but he knew. I'm sure he has an idea that I sent Little Man away on purpose, but he isn't saying anything. Besides, I would deny it.

My MIL called me when she didn't see Little Man and asked me but I told her that he and my mother had this date set for weeks (it was more like hours!) and she was upset because she doesn't get to see the kids often. I felt bad but I didn't regret my decision. If I could keep my kids away from that bitch permanently…well, I'd be happy. I don't want her pettiness and bitchiness rubbing off on my children.

 

Here's a kicker- my daughter is eleven months old tomorrow, and she doesn't have any teeth. Not a one. Don't get me wrong, she has gone through months of 'teething' where she gets swollen and her mouth bothers her and she drools and chews on everything, but it stops and no teeth have come out. Has anyone been through this? My son popped his first teeth out at 4 months…so I don't know what the hell is going on. Her year old well visit is next month and if she hasn't sprung anything yet, I'm going to see what the doc says. My sister (dental hygienist) tells me not to worry, but I still am. Any thoughts?

 

Do links work when transferred from e-mail???

Let's see......

Dealing?

My sister and I are buying my mother's plane ticket this week…

I went to my mother's house yesterday and she was already getting huffy & puffy with another of her sisters, one she didn't grow up with and had almost no communication with until she was about 30 or so…well this sister, we'll call her Elder, since she is one of the eldest sisters of the bunch, well she refuses to go see my aunt in the hospital. She lives in Puerto Rico, maybe a half hour away but won't go. She says that no one went to go see her in the hospital when she had some operation done a few years back so she doesn't see why everyone is making such a big deal about this for the dying aunt.

Are you fucking kidding me? They have all but read her her last rights and your playing this game? Your operation was MINOR, you had no health risks AT ALL, the doctors and nurses did not tell your family to call everyone BECAUSE YOU WERE GOING TO DIE. You were not in a coma. You were not in COMPLETE KIDNEY FAILURE. You were not going in to HEART FAILURE. You were not depending solely on machines to keep you BREATHING long enough for your family to come to your bedside you FUCK.

I know that people deal with death and these situations differently, but seriously?

SERIOUSLY?

Elder has actually booked a vacation to NYC for this week and possibly next week, so if my aunt passes in that time (which is about 95% sure that she will) she will not be there. And obviously will not be there for the funeral…

Now my mother's all emotional about it and trying to keep peace among the rest of the sisters who are starting to get angry at Elder, which is stressing her out even more…

Fuck you, Death. Really.

 

Despite the fact that I've been answering e-mails and phone calls all day about the impending death in our family…there was something I wanted to share that I was excited about.

PINKS!

They are coming to the racetrack we frequent in New Jersey practically every weekend of the summer. Coincidentally, they are coming the weekend right after my birthday in July, so I requested tickets to go see Pinks live for my birthday present. Daddy obviously has no problem fulfilling my birthday wish, as he is the one who got me addicted to the show anyway.

We don't know what cars will be there, but it will be exciting and I will hope to be able to post pictures of the event…hopefully I find my camera by then.

I'm hoping to be able to take Little Man…but we're not too sure about that yet…

Fucking Sucks.

She's not doing well at all, my aunt. The call has been made to all the brothers and sisters to book their flights ASAP. She doesn't have much time…

My mother called me last night in hysterics, that was really all I could get out of her…

This fucking sucks.

Mouth Filters...

There are certain things you don't say to a person. You can think them in your head all you want, but for them to come out of your mouth – in front of someone –noooooooooooo…..

Fire – as this woman will be called. Not because she was fired, because she wasn't, she totally gave her two weeks and finished them off. Her name will be Fire because she acted like one, single-handedly destroying things that were in her way. Intentional? A lot of people here think so. She had many enemies. There was actual cheering after she walked out the door last Friday.

Well, I worked with Fire three days a week, and I dreaded them. I work with two other people that I love, but Fire…oh my God.

 

Let me give you a quick story that happened just the day before Fire and I butted heads: Another co-worker and I were in the break room. She had heard me speaking Spanish to a client and commented on how she would have never in a million years have been able to understand what I was saying. I laughed. She asked me where I was from and I told her "Well, born in Puerto Rico, raised in NYC."  "Wow, that's funny because I don't pick up on any accents, New Yorkers usually have a distinct accent…" she said. "I learned very early on that in order to fit in, you have to speak clearly and with no accents, Spanish, NY or any other. I was taught to not let my self be distinguished by my accent." I said. Which is true, my mother went through- and still goes through a lot of shit because of her accent.

Nice enough conversation, right?

 

Well, the NEXT DAY Fire heard me speaking to a client, but I was speaking ENGLISH. "Where are you from?" She asked me. "New York." I said, I didn't feel like explaining anything at that moment. "No, which country?" I looked at her. "Here. My family is from Puerto Rico…" "That's what I thought, you have a very heavy Puertorican accent when you speak."

*Did you just hear tires screeching in your head?*

"I have a heavy accent? That's funny, I just had someone tell me that I had no accent."

I shut up. I was flooded with work I didn't want to chit-chat.

She waited a minute…then asked "Do people ever ask you if you're illegal?"

*more tires*

I looked at her and said "No, no one would ever dare ask someone else that kind of question."

I walked away from my work.

 

I spoke to another girl and asked her if she heard an accent when I speak, she laughed at me thinking I was joking. I told her the story. She suggested I go to HR. I shrugged. Daddy said the same thing. I shrugged again. The next day she gave her two week notice, so I didn't say a word. Why bother if she was leaving anyway, right?

 

It has actually become somewhat of a joke here now, if I say something to someone I excuse myself and say "I'm sorry if you can't understand me due to my heavy puertorican accent…" because I can laugh at it…but there are still certain things you JUST don't say…

NOW???

Is it okay to talk abut an ex-co-worker, because they quit? Especially since she infuriated me so much that it took everything in me to not punch her in the eye? Twice?

Let's take a poll-

I have a story to tell- she finished off her last two weeks this past Friday- is it okay to talk about her?

The "D" word

No one wants to hear it, no one wants to go through it. But sometimes it is inevitable. (IT"S NOT ME AND DADDY!)

Our friends, S & K, whom I have written about here before, have come to the end of the rope. It saddens me, Daddy and I introduced them but we never thought they would end up married with a child. But they did…and now they are talking about drawing up the papers soon. S tells us that they have been having problems for a while (we knew that, it was obvious, really.) but he said that all of a sudden she came to him and said "It's over."

I feel for them.

They are both great people…

 

The plague is still lurking in my house. But at least it's only coming out of one end (the bottom end) for both kids. Food is going in and staying in, and that's what I care about. I did call the doctor yesterday since we hit the one week mark for the plague, and I was getting kind of worried. The RN told me that the plague was running strong this year, and sometimes the mushy butt stays fro up to two weeks. TWO WEEKS? Of mushy butt? Bleeecccchhhhhh… that's something to look forward to, really, I love the midnight bursts my daughter has been giving me, makes the room smell nice and….

Oh who am I kidding? PLAGUE- GET THEE OUT OF MY HOUSE!!!!

 

Today looks like it may be a slowish day, I'm hoping to sneak in some reads, I really miss you guys.

 

#END

---

You rock. That's why Blockbuster's offering you one month of Blockbuster Total Access, No Cost.

What is Springtime without the PLAGUE???

Come on over, I'll bleach ya!

The plague has attacked my home. Thursday Ms. Diva threw up in her sleep. I woke up thinking she was just coughing but something made me check her. She was covered in it…and the poor thing didn't even wake up. Too bad I had to wake her up to get her cleaned. It was 1:30 a.m. Just as soon as I put the second set of pj's on her, up came some more. Fun. I camped out in the living room with her so that she could just puke on the floor and I could clean it easily. We didn't get back to sleep till 5:45.  Little Man went with Daddy to the sitter so he wouldn't catch it.

HA.

Saturday it hit Daddy and Little Man. Both of them were laid out with things coming very quickly out of both ends. (I'm sure Daddy will appreciate my sharing that with you.) As of yesterday, they could both eat again without worrying. Diva is better but her bottom is still kinda mushy, but only once a day, so that's okay…

The funny thing that I noticed while I was talking to Daddy was how we evolve as mothers. When Little Man had the plague for the very first time I cried every time he threw up and I was on the phone with the pediatrician every hour asking about pedialyte and dehydration and such things. The second time it hit, I was pregnant with Diva, I was throwing up right alongside Little Man. This time around (Little Man's third time and Diva's first time.) I just made sure the floor was clear of any toys and clothes before they leaned over. I had the mop set in hot water, the Ajax bottle next to it, and the bottle of Lysol handy.  I knew they wouldn't make it to the toilet so why bother making a longer trail for me to clean?

 How horrible is that?

 

*groan*

I hate that I can't write about work. Do you know how exciting this place would be if you guys knew what was going on everyday?

 I actually saw a fellow co-worker on blogger the other day, I think she was just reading, though, but I'm not too sure. I really wouldn't want to tell her about mine, because then I wouldn't be able to talk freely about things knowing she would be reading…

I may have to ask her like I'm just curious, and see if she writes and see if she has been getting away with it for the past four years she's been here…

My home life is boring right now. Work is where the dirt is…

 

Magic Words

Sometimes people don't do anything to anyone else, and they get provoked anyway. Sometimes all you want to do is stay out of everyone's way and live your own life, and take care of what you have to take care of, and people still fuck with you.

I'm tired.

Daddy's sister is provoking me to the point that I envision myself jumping on her and kicking her face in. Bad, isn't it? I keep trying to ignore it, I keep trying to stay away, but she seeks me out.

There was almost an incident last night and if I hadn't left the house I would have pushed her down the stairs. It's horrible because she lives on the second floor of where I live, it's not like I can totally avoid her.

Daddy knows I'm trying so hard to stay away, he knows I don't say a word to her, and she still…

I'm tired.

 

Daddy said the magic words I've been dying to hear for so long…

"Let's move out."

 

He finally understands. What breaks my heart is that my MIL called me the other day, crying and asking me why Daddy said the things he said…I had no idea what she was talking about. She told me he had told the Bitch upstairs that he was going to move far away and they weren't going to be seeing him. At first it didn't click. Then it hit me like a ton of bricks…he's tired too. My MIL is not a bad person, I don't know why he would have said none of them were going to see us…so I asked Daddy where he planned on going that we weren't going to see her anymore…"Anywhere. Just far from here. Wanna move out of state?"

 

I wouldn't mind moving out of state, I just hate leaving everyone behind. Massachusetts isn't too far, neither is Connecticut…I'll probably look around there.

I'm tired.

 

GRRRRRRRR

I've found the word that is worse and more annoying than "No."

 

"Why?"

 

Oh. My. GOD. It's like fingernails on a chalkboard. At first I was answering him and telling him why…but then it started being asked after everything.

 

"Little Man, come in the room so we can get you dressed."

"Why?"

 

"Little Man, can you put this in the fridge, please."

"Why?"

 

"Good night, baby."

"Why?"

 

 

GRRRRR!!!!

Stop it! I hate it! Yeah, kids are curious and whatnot but this is just ridiculous!

 

Hate it hate it hate it hate it…

 

 

Awesome it transferred…I love this handwriting style. It's actually what my real handwriting is like. (If it's not really legible to you let me know…)

 

So my children are not baptized yet and I get a lot of shit about it from (who else???) MY MOTHER. She grew up in a family that the child had to be baptized within the first year of life. No if, ands or buts about it. My son is three and a half. My daughter in ten months old (today!) and I still have not gone to church to have them baptized. I'm evil. I'm going to burn in hell.

I have actually already gone to the church and spoken to the priest about getting them baptized and it looks like it will be done in May even though I am the evil incarnate and never attend church services.

But here's what gets me…I am not the religious type by far. I don't go to church. God and I have…an understanding let's say. I have had my time in church and things happened and I decided to stop going. I never stopped believing in God. I did yell and scream and blame God when the miscarriages happened, I doubted, don't we all? Don't we all have our issues with this higher power…?

The other day my mother sends me an e-mail about the baptisms, (I would copy and paste it but it's in Spanish) and at the end she said something along the lines of my son always being sick because he hasn't been baptized.

Here's where my issues come up- my son has no say over getting baptized, so why is he being punished with his allergies and his asthma and all his other crap if I'm the one who hasn't baptized him? Is he being punished for my lack of attendance in religious services?

She thinks that the higher powers do this to people who 'disobey', that they get punished.

Chalk this up to my incompetence as a mother.

Anybody got any points of view? I don't want an argument about religion here…I'm not trying to push buttons, but I'm curious to see what people think about this particular sitch.

 

Meanwhile there is no change on things with my aunt. Things are really not looking well. And I have no money to go out there for the funeral…

 

 

testing....again

I just want to see if this handwriting style transfers over….

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My aunt in Puerto Rico. She is this beautiful, loving, full-of-life woman who ended up with an asshole of a husband and three of the bestest children.

She is in a coma. The doctors put her into this coma so they could figure out why she is having seizures. They won't take her out of the coma. They don't think she will make it if they do.

Arrangements are being made for her mentally-challenged daughter and adopted grand-daughter (so that would make her her daughter, right?) to go live with another aunt of mine.

My mother's favorite sister, the one she was closest to growing up…she lived with her after the birth of all three of her children to help her out (this was before my mother even got married) and after moving to the US always went back every. single. summer to visit her.

She has diabetes (it runs in the family, most of the siblings have it) and she had to have both her legs cut off within the last five years.

There's something else they want to do, some kind of exploratory surgery to look in her heart…but the seizures are preventing them from doing that. My grandmother passed away during an exploratory heart surgery when I was five. History is trying to repeat it self. My mother says it's a good thing that they can't do the surgery…that way she won't go the way their mother did…but a cousin of mine that has been at the hospital says it's looking bad either way.

Fucking Shit.

 

GREEN

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Can someone tell me- does green beer taste the same as regular beer? I've never had it…not planning to, but still curious…

 

Happy St. Pat's to you all…

 

My son decided that he wanted to sleep on the futon all by himself last night. I had mixed feelings about this, as this boy has slept by my side for the past 3 years, ever since that fateful day he decided he didn't want to sleep in his crib at the tender age of 6 months old. So I put the Cartoon Network on for him, tucked him in and gave him his sippy while I washed Daddy's clothes. (Those gross things get their own special laundry time….frikkin car guys and their grease.) He wasn't even asleep yet and I was checking in on him every five minutes. Daddy had Diva in the room, trying (BEGGING) to get her to sleep. At some point he did fall asleep, and I took the sippy away and made sure the couch cushions were on the floor in case he fell or something. I was nervous. Laundry finished, Demon Diva still not asleep, I lay down next to Daddy and start asking "Should I just bring him in here?" "Do you think he will get scared if he wakes up and doesn't feel us next to him?" "He'll wake the baby if he wakes up crying." "Are you listening to me???"

At 11:30 the girl finally fell asleep, after much fighting. I got up for last call to the bathroom and as I was walking back to the room, shutting lights off behind me when I hear shuffling on the floor. I look back and there was my little man, rubbing his eyes and waiting for me to move out of his way so he can go to my bed.

I smiled at Daddy.

As much as I talk shit about wanting that boy outta my bed, I still felt funny about leaving him on the futon.

And then this morning when he kicked me in the ribs for the fourth time I wished he had stayed on the futon…

But this gave me a glimpse into the future, when we finally move and he gets his own room and bed, I know he'll be coming into our bed for a while before he sleeps on his own. I just hope it doesn't take too long.

 

 

*I do want to apologize for the junk that comes up under my posts. I forget to type the 'secret code' to stop that from showing up. When you blog from e-mail, there are certain things you're supposed to do to get your posts to look normal. I'm a loser and forget to do half the things…

 

Common Courtesy VS. Pure Evil

It's common courtesy to not block an entrance when you're stopped at a red light. A driveway, a gas station entrance, whatever, right?

Well, this morning I was coming out of a gas station, with my left turning signal on, but it was a green light for traffic so I waited for the light to turn red. I was inching out as the cars were coming to a stop, and there was room for me to come out. But there was this woman, this fucking bitch of a woman with a shiny red Saab who came FROM THE OTHER LANE to block me in the goddamn gas station. I flipped out. I was screaming at her, but my window was up and she didn't get to hear all the nice colorful things I was calling her. What's evil is that right after she blocked me in, she looked at me and kinda smirked. That's actually what prompted my tirade.

People are so stupid it's unbelievable!

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Blahblahblah

We have two birthday parties in one day coming up. One is here, for Googlio and Skinny Bitch's son, (I can't link…sorry if you don't know who they are) and the other is for my best friend's twins, in CT. For some reason the timing on them is actually perfect enough that I don't have to pull my hair out from stress, because Baby Googlio's party is over two hours before the other one starts, which gives us enough time to make the hour-and-a-half trip to CT.

 

The other day my son asked me a question, which I can't even remember now just from sheer shock- whatever I answered him was not satisfactory and he replied by sighing then saying "Oh my Gosh!" I didn't have to look at him to know that he rolled his eyes. I didn't know what to say…

 

My daughter still doesn't have teeth. She's nine and a half months old and still smiles her toothless old lady smile. I can see the formation of the teeth, the white marks are there, but they won't break skin. Those teeth are pissing me off…I have the feeling they are what still keeps her getting up in the middle of the night.

 

I hear a ticking noise coming from my computer…is it going to blow up?

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My mother= the reason I think I'm incompetent as a mother

I often wonder what the hell it is that goes through my mother's head…

Little Man was crying that he wanted to stay at Grandma's house all week, so Saturday night off he went to grandmother's house. I went to pick him up Sunday afternoon and brought Ms. Diva with me so my mother could see her. As soon as I took Diva's coat off, my mother says "Oh, I see you had a bath today…and they even washed your hair."

Um….duh? I give my children baths daily, if not then at least every other day. I kept my mouth shut, but then I noticed that when my mother picked Diva up, she looked at her a little closely. "She has a beauty mark on her neck?" My mother asked me. I wrinkled my eyebrows at her, "Yeah, mom, she's had that since she was born." The beauty mark is about the size of a pea, noticeable if you look closely as it's a little faded now. What my mother did next is what killed me. She ran her finger over my daughter's neck, Mary Poppin's with a white glove-style, checking to see if the beauty mark was DIRT. Wait for it…then she smelled her finger.

Are you fucking kidding me?

I had to ask… "Mother, why did you just do that?"

She noticed my voice…she laughed.

SHE LAUGHED.

"Just checking" she said.

WHAT?

WHHHAAAAAATTTTTT?

Checking to see if I was lying about A BEAUTY MARK? Checking to see if IT WAS DIRT? CHECKING TO SEE IF MY DAUGHTER'S NECK SMELLED FUNKY???

WTF???

 

The Splinter

Daddy had just left the house, I had just gotten out the shower when I started pulling the sheets away from Little Man so he could get up. He made his usual fuss, turning away from me, burying his face in the pillow. I gave him his sippy of milk, but he started crying. "What now?" I said in my mind, hoping it wasn't going to be one of those mornings where he just sat there and cried and wouldn't get dressed.

"What's the matter Little Man?"

"My foot hurts!" he wailed.

"Where?"

He took his feet out from under the blanket and pointed at the sole of his right foot. I grabbed it and saw the culprit…a small splinter. "How the hell…?"

I went for my tweezers.

At this point he was crying at the top of his lungs, he gets his dramatic side from me and he wanted everyone to know he was having a procedure done. Unfortunately his only audience was the baby, and she was standing in the crib smiling as she watched.

OH MY GOD the screaming as I tried to take that thing out, and I was only holding his foot, he wasn't even letting me go near him with the tweezers yet. "Little Man if you want the boo-boo to go away I have to take it out…" "NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! Mommy NOOOOOO! IT HURTS!" He was fully kicking and punching at me, anything to get me away.

Five full minutes before I could even get the tweezers near him. I got it out, him still screaming…I looked at it closely, it was a small hair. Daddy had cut his and Little Man's hair the night before and one of those stubborn little suckers that are so difficult to get off the floor with a broom and mop had somehow made its way into my son's foot. "Why didn't he complain about it last night???" I asked myself.

No matter.

"Wanna see?" I asked him, holding the tweezers out to him. He nods and comes closer. "Eeeewwwww," he says.

"Yeah, ewwwwwww."

I threw the tiny piece of hair in the garbage and went back into the room. He stands on the bed with his arms out. I go into the hug and as he wipes his nose on my shirt he says "Thank you for making my foot all better, Mommy."

I melted into a puddle.

Even with all the snot on my shirt that hug made everything better. This is what motherhood (and life for that matter) is about, huh? It has to hurt to feel better…

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I have no frikkin idea why all my text has turned PURPLE. Bear with  me, I will fix it....someday...

Nothing has changed...

I'm still as tired as can be. Last night Ms. Demon Diva child decided - AT TWO IN THE MORNING -  that she didn't need any more sleep. So I've been up since then. Daddy, too, because he's sick now and can't sleep when he hears me begging her to go to sleep.

"I don't need no stinkin' sleep MA!"

 

Grrrrrr.....

 

Ms. Beautiful Bikini helped me out to be able to blog from work via e-mail. Who'da thunk blogger had sneaky ways??? LOL!

 

(Sorry, Dennis, still no talk about tiny swimsuits here...)

 

Okay, this is all I'm going to write today. It just feels good to be here.

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There aren't too many fonts to choose from with e-mail...

Bikini, I keep forgetting to ask for your e-mail address because I'm a tard that way...but I wanted to ask you about the risk of blogging through e-mail...is it the same as regular blogging? Will they still see it? Thing is I have some things to complain about, but I won't if they can see it. Like I said I'm not too sure about the taps in here...

e-mail me: Jadensmami1107@yahoo.com. Put BLOG somewhere in the title so I kow it's you because I erase things when I don't know who they come from. I'm an asshole that way.

Testing 1-2-3

Trying out what Bikini (the genious!!!) suggested...

Let's see if it worked!

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Here’s an idea…
What if I wrote posts out and someone else (like one of you dearies) posted them for me? Would that work? Because I am not going to post from work (don’t pay attention to the fact that I’m doing it now…) since most of what I have to say originates there…but what do you think of the safety of e-mailing it to one of you? Is that still a problem? Would they check that way? I need to better understand these big companies…
I’ve been having a terrible horrible no good very bad WEEK and I need to share.
Let me know what you think.