Monday, January 23, 2006

I'm going to scream-

I'm soooo ready to move into my new place, sooo ready to leave SIL's house. It's only been a few days, yes, BUT they have been loooooooooooooong days. All I keep hearing is "Oh my God he's so spoiled," (about my son) and I find myself saying "Put him down" every twenty seconds to my princess niece, because she feels the need to carry my son everywhere even though he looks like a poor cat being dragged everywhere.
And I thought staying at my mother's would have been bad, this is turning out to be worse.
My son is in an environment that is not his own, none of his toys are here (which I am making a special trip to the new house just to collect some), nothing is familiar, so he doesn't want to let me out of his sight. Literally cries when I leave a room, something he has never done because frankly my son could give less of a shit about me when we are home. Last night we ordered Chinese and settled in like one big happy family to watch some t.v...when my son started getting tired he started whining. That's normal, but his pacifier and a cuddle will usually get him to sleep. Nope, not last night. Not with these "strangers" around. He was fighting me and crying and going back and forth between me and Daddy, looking for a comfort spot before drifting off. In the backround my SIL kept saying "stop crying you cry too much" and "he's a spoiled brat just like his father was." That threw me...I was ready to start screaming at her, because naturally I'm going to defend my husband and my son, no matter who it is that is attacking them. I took my left-overs into the kitchen-my son following close behind crying at the top of his lungs. I poured him a fresh bottle and took him upstairs. I was NOT going to sit there and listen to her talk shit about my guys. Fuck her. I changed into my pj's and laid down with my baby. Daddy came up not two minutes later, he knew I wasn't happy. But not a word I said, I was just trying to get my son to sleep. Once he fell asleep, about ten or fifteen minutes later, off to Slumberland I followed.
So I'm here, dying to hear from the new landlord on when the apartment will be finished...hopefully soon, God I can't wait to get out of there.
I am an asshole because at some point before I figured out what was wrong with him I yelled at him. I was so frustrated at the crying and hearing the shit-talking in the back that I told him to just "shut the fuck up already!" And when he was falling asleep I kissed him on the head and apologized to him, even though he doesn't know what I was saying.
Living with family is never good when you have your own family. I will hope to never have to stay at anyone's house again, unless it's a vacation in which we would never be in the house much...
Crazy/Hip Blog-Mamas

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