Thursday, December 29, 2005

Unfit mother- another tale.

I went through some shit yesterday that just about had me running out of the house to a mental hospital. Little Man walks like he's done it for years. He's been walking since he was nine months old. Last night when we came home, he decided he wasn't going to walk, but crawl on the living room floor that I had to sweep because of the goldfish he smashed up yesterday. So goldfish crumbs were all over him- which is normal. But I didn't want him on the floor, I wanted to sweep the stupid floor that I'm tired of sweeping and stupid Daddy was just sitting in his computer chair watching t.v.
"Little Man get off the floor."
Blank stare from Little Man.
"Get up."
He offers me a goldfish crumb.
I want to pull my hair out at this point because we just finished a scream-fest while changing his diaper due to a mysterious rash forming that stung him like hell when I wiped. So my nerves are just a little shot right about this point.
And I yelled.
At my son.
To get off the fucking floor.
Daddy finally pulls himself away from the television to get the crying child off the floor and cuddle him.
I run to my bedroom and slam the door.
I'm a horrible mother. He hates me. He never listens to me. If Daddy were to tell him to get off the floor he would have done it before Daddy even finished the sentence. Daddy and Little Man come into the room where Daddy proceeds to tell me not to yell at the baby because it won't make him listen to me.
"I say things to him in a normal voice and I get no response from him. It's like I'm an adult on Charlie Brown- Womp womp womp womp womp..."
Little Man gets put on the bed and I start to cry because my son will grow to hate me and will never listen to me and every one will look at me and say "She has no control over that child" and I will hate myself because I know it's true.
He used to listen to me. I don't know what it is, now he listens to everyone but me. When did I lose the control? Why does he feel he should behave for everyone but me? Why am I the one with the shit to deal with when he's an angel for them?
He has his days when he listens to me, just like he has his days where he sleeps in his own crib (which right now is every other day).
Crazy/Hip Blog-Mamas


JayMonster said...

Kids have their days, and momments. It only SEEMS like he listens to everyone else more because when you notice it is when he is NOT listening to you.

You only lose control when you let it slip away. No worries, Little Man loves you.

Dawn said...

Oh Diana. As long as no one was bleeding at the end of it all, it was FINE.

Children know your buttons and moods better than you.