Monday, July 17, 2006

Before I write about the races-

I want to say I'm afraid.
My mother is in the hospital.
It's not even such a big deal, because we know she is going to be fine...but I'm still afraid.
My mother is diabetic. She got bit by a mosquito at my cousin's wedding, she thought she had killed it before it got to bite her, but I guess the stupid thing had already started feasting. Obviously it got a little swollen, but then on Monday she told me it was still getting a little bigger. Mom, what are you talking about, you're probably scratching it too hard. Don't scratch it.
I always have to minimize my mother's reaction to things by 75% because she has a tendency to exaggerate things a bit much. So on Friday when she told me it looks like it's infected and she was going to get it checked out by the nurse in her building I felt like the biggest ass ever. Why didn't I just tell her to get it checked out sooner? So imagine how I felt when the nurse told her she had to go to the ER to get it drained and cleaned, because IT WAS infected. Just stamp Super Asshole on my forehead. I took her to emergency on Friday after work and she told me she was in pain after the procedure. (They opened it, drained it, cleaned it, put two stitches to close it back up, and bandaged her arm. Diabetes= NO OPEN WOUNDS.) She was sent home with a script for antibiotics and a re-check on Sunday.
She went yesterday to get it re-checked and it was infected again. So they admitted her into the hospital and have her on IV antibiotics.
So yesterday while at the races I was freaking out because I was SEVEN hours away when she called to tell me but she said "Don't worry. Don't come back here, I will call you to keep you updated." But you're my mother, and you're in the hospital and I'm so far...
As of this morning she is still on IV antibiotics and they are still keeping her for observation. They might have to open it again, but they still haven't.
Now, what I'm afraid of is this whole my mom is sick thing. She has her diabetes under control, she eats well and never has problems with it so it's not like a big deal. But I see others-like one of my aunts who has recently had one of her legs cut at the knee because of gangrene...the father of a friend who is now almost fully blind...and I can't help but think will this be my mother? Will she get that sick?
Just thoughts. I just called her and she was watching talk shows and waiting for them to serve lunch. Waiting for them to decide how to go about treating this in the least invasive way possible...


LynAnne said...

I'm so, so sorry to hear your mom is sick. :( Don't be hard on yourself though. If you would have pushed for her to go in sooner they likely would have told her it was just a bug bite and sent her home again. Then she might have postponed going in a second time, afraid of crying wolf again. Who knows how serious it would have gotten then.

The complications of diabetes you mentioned usually occur in people with poor control of their diabetes. It doesn't sound like that applies to your mother. Granted, she has a higher risk for certain conditions but she may also be healthier because she knows to watch her diet carefully and her doctors know what sorts of things to watch for.

It sounds like you care about your mother a whole heck of a lot. It's only natural that you worry about her. Growing up, we think our parents are invincible. Little by little we see signs of their mortality. Maybe the worry helps prepare us? Obviously, no one can live forever but it sounds like your mother is healthy otherwise and should have many, many years ahead of her. All the best for you both!!!

JayMonster said...

lyanne said it pretty well, and I can't really add much except for sending well wishes to you and yours.

Melissa said...

Oh, I'm sorry to read about your mother. But it sounds like she has her diabetes well under control and this is just a really, really tiny bump in the road. Please try not to worry.