So you're looking for a Realtor, huh?

This woman called the office while I was busily typing away the meme I just posted. She is getting a personal post from me because she had to have been the stupidest person to call here in a long time.
Her: "Is The Shitter in the office?"
Me: "No he is not, would you like to leave him a voicemail?"
Her: "Well, can I have his cell phone number, I would really like to speak to him."
Side note: The Shitter does not allow me to give his cell phone number to anyone who calls, he would rather be the one giving his number out. So...
Me: "Well, if you left him a voicemail he could call you right back as soon as he gets the message."
Her: "Well, I just saw an advertisment for his Realtor services on my home thing and I wanted to talk to him."
My home thing? What home thing? A magazine? A post card?
Me: "Well, as I said he is not in the office right now-"
Her: "Listen- he is advertised on Myhomething.com and I want to speak to him."
Oh! That's a website! You couldn't just say that? Why didn't he tell me he was advertising there so I could be aware of the phonecalls that would come in for him?
Me: "ma'am, I do apologize, but he has not gotten into the office yet-"
Her: "Well, why is he advertising if he's not going to be in the office? I mean, I saw his page on the site saying how he can help me find a home and he's in my area...now he's not around."
This lady is crazy. Are agents only supposed to advertise during the hours they are in the office? They would never be able to advertise, half of them work from home!
Me: "would you like to try calling him in about an hour? He might be in the office then."
Her: "hmph. I thought I could speak to him. The advertising he has says he can help me with finding a home, home improvements and financing for those things. I guess I'll call back later."
click.
I swear...