Come on over to my house, we can eat off the floor.

Wow.

Just...WOW.

Thank you guys so much for thinking of me. You don't even know...
*sigh*

Many moons ago I had posted about how I clean obsessively when I'm angry. Let me tell you that as of Thursday night, you can lick your food off the floor in my house, and not have to worry about germs or dirt or is that a spider? I went to go pick up Little Man at the stupid sitters, she wasn't even there. She had gone to work at twelve, left my son with her son (who I know and love, but still, come on) and nephew. I didn't say a word, just grabbed my son and left. Daddy already knew there was steam coming out of my ears, so the ride home was silent. Except for the times I would start ranting and raving on what an idiot she was. He was in total agreement, smart man just kept nodding. I told the Other Admin she would have to come in Friday. I told the Head Admin what happened. "So, what does that mean? Like, long term?" she asked me.
"I don't really know right now."
I walked into my house and made a beeline for my room where I changed into sweats and pulled my hair up in a bun. I checked under the sink to make sure all my old buddies were there waiting...extra strength this, and super disinfecting that...I was ready. My mind needed to be numbed. Little Man and Daddy went into the living room while I started in my bedroom. No more boxes of clothes. (Mama of 2 those clothes are basically ready for shipping!) No more piles of laundry 'that I could do later'. My SIL ended up coming over with her boyfriend and Daddy explained what happened, and don't you know she got on her hands and knees and started cleaning with me. My bathroom has been scrubbed from ceiling to floor. My kitchen, the same. My wood floors in the living room have never shined so much, I could put them in a commercial. I finished at about one in the morning, Daddy and Little Man long asleep.
I still felt like shit.
No sleep.
Took Daddy to work in the morning and Little Man noticed we weren't going to the sitters house. I told him he was staying with mommy today, and he just smiled.
Welfare office was a nightmare, as I imagined it would be. I filled out the application and the lady behind the desk was such a bitch. "Do you have all the paperwork necessary?" "Yes, but I need to make copies of the birth certificates and social security cards, I only have the originals." "Then you don't have all your paperwork." "Yes. I. Do. Everything is here, I just need to make copies." "Have a seat." She really had to call a social worker to come and make copies for me. The social worker was annoyed at that, he looked at me and said "So, you have all the paperwork?" "YES." "And she couldn't make the copies for you...mumble mumble..." he went and made the copies and told me it would be about 48 hours before I heard back from them.
The good news is that my mother's friend has an at-home daycare that is totally paid by the state, but she heard what the regular sitter did to me and said she would take Little Man, and while the paperwork was being processed I could just pay her $60 for the week. What a relief. I just hope the stupid state will pay her, I don't want to have to go on a more extensive search and keep pulling Little Man from one house to another. I spent most of Friday afternoon at her house with Little Man to see how he liked it. He ignored me. He went to play with the kids that were there and had a grand old time. This morning he didn't even notice me leave. I hope he will be okay...but I'm sure he will be. My boy loves being around other kids.
So, while I'm still having a great difficulty sleeping and I'm super tired today, I'm here at work.
Thanking all of you for you thoughts.
Really.
Thanks.