Grossness

I find it so hard to believe that my two-year-old child can aim his peepee at the toilet better than the grown ass men in my office.
I find it disgusting that I don't have to wipe piss off the floor in my own home (where I know WHOSE piss it is) and yet today I had to spray the floor here with Windex and (WITH MY FOOT) pass a paper towel over the piss on the floor.
It's just nasty.
I should bring Little man in for a tutorial with the men here. Or post instructions on the wall next to the toilet...


P.S- I knew I shouldn't have let him (Daddy) eat some of my ice cream, now my throat hurts!

I love Daddy

Daddy was home sick yesterday while Little Man and I went to daycare and work. I drugged him up on Motrin before I left (it's all we had, but hey! It's a fever reducer and good for cramping!) so he would sleep it off.
He had a fever when I got back home because the smart ass that my husband is thought I had given him Sudafed, so that's what he took in the middle of the day. Duh, honey, Sudafed is for your nose and head, not fevers and pain. So I went out and bought him Theraflu and butter pecan ice cream. Well, the ice cream was more for me but I knew that his throat was still bothering him so he wouldn't eat the whole pint.
Wuss-boy couldn't finish off the whole 8 ounces of theraflu, he said it was making his tummy hurt.
Ha.
Men are complete babies when they are sick
"Don't walk by too fast, you are making a breeze."
"I didn't walk by fast."
"But I'm cold, i felt a breeze."
"It's in your head."

"Don't move the blanket too much, you're making a breeze under the sheets."
"I'm not even moving!"
"I felt a breeze."
"Shut the fuck up."

"I can't eat chicken sooup, the chicken pieces are too big, they will hurt my throat."
"And cause a breeze, too, I imagine?"

I loved watching little Man take the sheets off Daddy, playing peek-a-boo. Daddy didn't like it too much, but I laughed my ass off, even while telling Little Man to leave Daddy alone.
Little Man is doing a little better, no more fevers (THANK YOU GOD) it seems like no more infection. But his lips were really dry and were bleeding yesterday because the curious little shit was picking at them. Then he would come cry to me that he has a boo-boo on his lips. "Yeah, dude, don't pick at them and they won't bleed." Five minutes later I look at him to see his hands on his lips, looking for the pieces to pick.
Nice to know you listen, kiddo.
I've been putting vaseline on his lips since the beginning of the coldish weather, but they still seem to dry up badly. Maybe because he was sick? I hope that stops soon. People look at me funny when he has blood in the creases of his lips. I feel like saying "YES I smacked him in the mouth, you want one too???"

Rebellious Ear!

Right before lunchtime on Friday Daddy called me.
"Daycare called."

*GROAN*
What now?
Back to the doctor, boy is running a fever again.

Doc: He seems to have built up a resistance to the antibiotic, his right ear is all healed, but the left ear is still infected.

That's my boy, rebelling early.

New antibiotic, Zithromax this time. Stronger, Longer lasting! Once a day for five days. The boy is sick and tired of taking meds already, he runs from me. He cries so hard he almost throws up, which stops me from giving him the meds because what's the point of giving it to him if he's going to puke 'em on me? So I wait till he calms down, just to make him cry again. Then comes the wrestling match, Daddy holding him down, me trying to squeeze his mouth open (he holds it shut pretty strong!) and him trying to spit the meds back at me. Ah, fun.
Today, back to work, tentatively. Every time the phone rings I think it's the daycare, or Daddy (who by the way woke up this morning with a niiiice fever and sore throat) and I really don't want to pick up the phone.
As for me- the hacking cough is back. Nothing comes up, but I can't speak for too long, I run out of air and start to cough for twenty minutes. More fun. We're just a nice petri dish at my house, wanna come over?

My fine=$320.50

Both Blonde CHick and Mama of 2 have posted this, so I had to do it here. If you do it, let me know what your fine is, or post it yourself!


Here’s how it works: You don’t have to confess your answers, just the amount of your fine. (Not per incident!) Tally up your score and post it on your blog with the title… ”My Fine Is…”
Smoked pot — $10
Did acid — $5
Ever had sex at church — $25
Woke up in the morning and did not know the person who was next to you — $40
Had sex with someone on MySpace — $25
Had sex for money — $100
Vandalized something — $20
Had sex on your parents’ bed — $10
Beat up someone — $20
Been jumped — $10
Crossed dressed — $10
Given money to stripper — $25
Been in love with a stripper — $20
Kissed some one who’s name you didn’t know — $0.10
Hit on some one of the same sex while at work — $15
Ever drive drunk — $20
Ever got drunk at work, or went to work while still drunk — $50
Used toys while having sex — $30
Got drunk, passed out and don’t remember the night before — $20
Went skinny dipping — $5
Had sex in a pool — $20
Kissed someone of the same sex — $10
Had sex with someone of the same sex — $20
Cheated on your significant other — $10
Masturbated — $10
Cheated on your significant other with their relative or close friend — $20
Done oral — $5
Got oral — $5
Done/got oral in a car while it was moving — $25
Stole something — $10
Had sex with someone in jail — $25
Made a nasty home video — $15
Had a threesome — $50
Had sex in the wild — $20
Been in the same room while someone was having sex — $25
Stole something worth over more than a hundred dollars — $20
Had sex with someone 10 years older — $20
Had sex with someone under 21 and you are over 27 — $25
Been in love with two people or more at the same time — $50
Said you love someone but didn’t mean it — $25
Went streaking — $5
Went streaking in broad daylight — $15
Been arrested — $5
Spent time in jail — $15
Peed in the pool — $0.50
Played spin the bottle — $5
Done something you regret — $20
Had sex with your best friend — $20
Had sex with someone you work with at work — $25
Had anal sex — $80
Lied to your mate — $5
Lied to your mate about the sex being good — $25

Calling Bill Cosby!

"Mommy, Lookit!"
"Baby, I can't look right now, I'm driving."
"Stop driving and lookit!"

"Snowman"

Little Man doesn't call it snow, it's snowman. He got it from the books he got for Christmas that have all these snowy scenes with talking snowmen that we had yet to see until yesterday. (The snowy scenes, not the talking snowmen.)
It finally snowed here, not even a lot, but enough to get him all excited and point at it every possible second. All you hear from the back seat is "Mommy! Look! Snowman!" and "Mommy! Snowman on the cars!" "Mommy! We play with snowman?"
This morning, nice and sunny, melting the snow away. Little Man didn't have to wear his snow boots to school today, and when we stepped outside to leave he looked down and said "Daddy, snowman all gone?"
Poor kid is heartbroken.
We didn't get to my mother's house, because my tires are bald and driving in the snowman is very unsafe, so we settled on talking to her on the phone. She's as anxious to see him as he is to see her. Puppy love, I tell you.

For my son

Myspace Graphics

I lay next to you this morning just watching you sleep. I wonder what it is you dream about that makes you smile that way. I wish I could capture the images and lock them away so when you feel pain I can bring them back up and have you smile like that again. Your innocence is remarkable, I sometimes wonder what I have done bringing you into this world full of pain and tears...I wish I could shield you from everything that will be coming your way. You put your arm around me, I wonder if you knew it was me laying next to you, or if your dream was showing you something else. I listened to your steady breathing, falling more and more in love with you with every passing second. Why didn't anyone tell me it would be this way- that I would lay here crying, watching you, wishing all this bullshit away. Last night you were asking to go to Grandma's house, my answer was not acceptable. You kicked and screamed because you wanted to see your 'Wela', and I had to leave the room. I had to hide my tears from you, because I don't want to think of a day when we won't have her. Will you be this way when you are my age? Will you cry while I'm away at a doctor's appointment from pure fear? There will be a day that you will want to be away from me, that you won't want to curl up on my lap and have me smother you with kisses and tickle you. There will be a day that I call out for you and you turn away. The thing is that I now see that there will also be a day that you will want to do it all again.
We'll go visit Grandma today baby, and we will both curl up next to her on the couch and just be with her. We'll wait for the phonecall with her. We'll smother her with kisses...

Massive headache taking over....NOW

Stress.

My mother is home, but going in for a colonoscopy today because they found traces of blood in her stool. I'm sure she would deeply appreciate that I'm telling the whole internet about getting a camera stuck up her ass, but you know what...I'm looking for prayers. Why can't she just be left alone? It isn't enough with all the shit she has been through in her life? I spent all of Saturday night thanking God (or somebody, me and the church are on kinda iffy terms) that she was out of the ICU, and that maybe this was it. Then the doc called on Sunday. When a doc calls you on a Sunday, well, it's not ever too good. So when she called me last night I got this headache that doesn't wanna go away. I'm not going to bother with aspirin, I know it won't work. I'm just waiting for her to call me when she gets out of her appt.

(It only took an hour)

Stoopid: Oh, hey, you're back!
Me: Yup. (half-smile)
Stoopid: Are you feeling better? You should have stayed home today, you still look very pale.


Eat shit, Stoopid.

Ears and eyes (?) and ICU

First let me start by saying that I never knew someone could leak so much crap from their eyes, and not have Pink Eye. Really. Tuesday I got called from Little Man's daycare, and you know it's never good when they call during the day. "Little Man has a fever and it keeps rising!" Fun. Picked him up, went home to some Motrin and some cartoons. At some point the Motrin stopped working before its time and The Call was placed, The Call to The Doctor. "Bring him on in! But tomorrow. See you then!" Chippy little twerp. The Visit- I went on to describe his symptoms (and of course he didn't have the fever when we went there, let's make Mommy look paranoid!) and The Doc checked him out. Turns out he has a nice double-whammy of an ear infection (both ears), and a cold to boot. "He needs a few days off!" Yay. Amoxycillin, the pink stuff, but he doesn't even know he's drinking it because I hide it in his milk. I really don't want 'bubblegum' flavored meds on my face, since he has the tendency to spit meds back out with the force of hurricane winds. Yesterday he was begging to go to school, I don't think he likes being home with me too much. I'm not as fun as the little rugrats in his class. This morning I called the daycare to make sure he can go in. "As long as he doesn't have a fever, bring him on in!" I was relieved, as I was beginning to think I was going to lose my sanity...er, job...whatever.
Now for the kicker- my mother is in the ICU. She called me on Tuesday to tell me she wasn't feeling well, could I possibly try to get in touch with my sister so she could bring her to the hospital. Sick boy, sick mother, fun week. After this summer's scare I was nearly going bananas, waitng for her to call me and tell me she was "Fine! False alarm! Going home now!" but instead I got the call that she was being admitted to the ICU because she had a kidney infection and they had to put her back on an IV and to prepare for another nice stay. I didn't sleep a wink this whole week, worrying about her and Little Man (who only gets a cough at night and nothing makes it go away), you should hire me to carry your luggage under my eyes, the bags are HUUUUGE!
As of today, Little Man was left (tentatively) at daycare, with strict instructions to call me at the first sign of him being sick. (I forgot to add that he has not once complained about his ears. They aren't sensitive to the touch or my shrieking, so I'm thinking The Doc is full of it...) My mother is still in ICU, but only to be monitored since she only has one kidney and renal failure is common in people with Diabetes...
It's been a rough week.
If someone comes into my office they may think I forgot to take my Halloween make-up off my eyes...

Is it too early for the sigh of relief?

SIX DAYS.
It has been six days since my son has had a binky/pacifier/bobo/whatever you call it in his mouth.
It has been six days since he has even seen one.
He's only had one meltdown asking for it, and my weakling husband got one out of the draw and gave it to him, where I snatched it back and gave him the evil eye. "We agreed that we were going to be consistent, asshole, why would you give it to him.?" "I don't want to hear him cry." "Well too bad. Let him cry. He doesn't need it anymore." And I threw that binky in the trash. And my son fell asleep ten minutes later, on his own, on the couch. No pacifier.
He has only asked for it twice during the night in the past six days, and I tell him "NO. Go to sleep." and he shuts up.
So I want to do a happy dance, but not too soon. I want to make sure we don't have an episode where I come home and the boy has found the stash and he's sucking on like three paci's at the same time, just to get his fix.

The beginning of a couple of SOMETHINGS

• Little Man woke up this morning with what I believe is the beginning of Pink Eye. He cried when he tried to open his eyes and couldn't because they were immensly caked with eye boogers. Wet ones AND dry ones. Fun for him, eh? Well, I took him into the bathroom to wash his face right away, making Daddy freeze in the shower because I didn't warn him that I was turning the faucet on (hahaha) but when we got the boogies out of his eye, it wasn't red or itchy. (I love that the boy can tell me if somethng itches, this growing up stuff isn't too bad after all.) So I let Daddy continue his shower without any more surprise temperature changes, and took the boy back into the room. He didn't rub his eye for anything, and no more eye boogers showed up in the next forty-five mintues, so I packed him up to spend the day with my sister. (Daycare is closed today, but Daddy and I still have to work. More on that later, funny stories.) I hope it was just that he had a night of extra eye boogies and it isn't Pink Eye.
• Saturday's meeting was awesome. Bossman was just letting us know what was up for the new year, what he was planning to do as far as long-term plans for the Agents. He told us to voice any concerns or problems we had with any of the Agents, and I let him know what was up with Stoopid. He told me that as far as me helping her, it was all fine and dandy, BUT! BUT!!! he told her from the get-up that this company is more independant than the others and she would have to do a lot herself. So when he asked us what the Agents have us do for them, I was the only one who took forever describing it because of Stoopid. He told me that if she wanted so much help from me that she would have to start paying me for my time, because she was occupying too much of my company time. (Let's not get into my blogging time, shhhh!) Still, he said it was ridiculous how she doesn't get anything, and he was going to speak to her about it. He said if she was really that stupid, that he would end up just letting her go. He really said that. "I know I have you girls in my office to help out, but if she really needs that much help, then she should go to another company that can do everything for her." My boss's personality doesn't give him much patience, and just hearing me describe a day with her had him rubbing his temples. That's the thing with Independant companies, they don't have to put up with people's shit, and since he's the bossman, he can just say "BYE BYE!" and that's that.

Too late?

National Delurking Week. I knew it was here all week, and yet, never said anything. Shy? Thinking no one will stop and say hi? Thinking the only ones who really read here are people googling the Red Demon and stop in by accident? (Which still takes over my stats page like you wouldn't believe. Everyone comes here for the Red Demon.)
Well, people NOT searching for the Red Demon, say hi. Let me know that I'm not shouting into the Grand Canyon when I write here, and that sometimes sometimes people come here for me. Or my co-workers. Whatever.
Just say hi.
Wave.
Do a dance.
Shake your bon-bon.
Tell me what you would buy at a Tupperware Party. (Mamalee- I know! I know! I will consider it. You should have seen Daddy's face when I told him what I was told to try...he was........intrigued.)
Whatever floats your boat...Just don't stay quiet.

Oranges and Windex

That is what my desk smells like now. I ate an orange after my oh-so-yummy lunch, and as I was peeling it, it sprayed everywhere. So my whole desk smells like oranges. I like the way oranges smell, but I don't think I want it overpowering my desk...so I tried wiping my desk down with Windex...and now I'm being attacked by orange and Windex smells. Oh, and add a little Purell to the mix. Think it'll scare the people away?

I am currently taking a little breather away from this stupid project they have me doing. I was literally getting a migraine thanks to it, and it didn't help that Stoopid is here today (she hasn't been in all week) and driving me absolutely batshit crazy. I had e-mailed her a form she needed for a transaction, and she printed it out. Then she asks me "How do you type on it?" And because that question wasn't retarded enough...well, here it is: Me. Her.
You just have to have it up on the screen, you click on the little gray boxes and you can type the information in.
I don't see any gray boxes.
(Mind you, she doesn't have the paper with her while she is standing in front of my desk, nor is she looking at a computer screen.)
When you have the document up, it'll show gray boxes where you are expected to put information into...
Well, how do you open the document?
(ARE YOU KIDDING ME??? APPARENTLY YOU PRINTED THE DOCUMENT OUT! YOU HAD TO OPEN IT IN ORDER TO PRINT IT! WHY DO YOU ACT LIKE YOU ARE FUCKING DISABLED???)
I actually slapped my forehead in front of her after she asked me this, because seriously, SERIOUSLY...
It wasn't enough that I already had a headache before she came to my desk...
But wait, there's more!
I heated up my soup (chunky chicken noddle, yummy!) and she was waiting for me at my desk when I came out of the back room. (Doesn't that make you lose your appetite? Seeing this bug-eyed tard standing there watching you walk with a cup of soup in your hand...)
How do I e-mail the form?
Attach it to your out-going e-mail as an attachment (yes, I have to say this to her...) and it will send.
Well, I tried that four times already. Can you come do it? You can always re-heat your lunch.
I wonder how she walks with those big balls she has hanging between her legs...
You know what really pisses me off? The fact that she has been doing Real Estate for 13 years, and she still has to ask me for the simplest of things, the most mundane things that she should have learned somewhere in those thirteen years. She needs help filling out a Listing Sheet for God's sake, and all you have to do there is write out what the boxes tell you to write!!! SELF EXPLANATORY! She doesn't know how to work her voicemail. She doesn't know how to put a call on hold (press the big red HOLD button, maybe?) I won't even get into the fact that she still stands in front of the copier for ten minutes looking so confused...

There's a meeting on Saturday for us Admin's at The Other Office, I'm seriously going to tell my boss that he needs to tell her to leave me alone, because one of these days, one of these days...BAM! Right in the kisser! And I will be smiling the whole time I'm in the Unemployment Line because it would be soooo worth losing my job over.

You will find me hanging in the Conference Room

Literally, hanging. Because I'm going to tie the phone cord to the ceiling tiles...

I love my job. I love my job. I love. My. Job. I LOVE MY JOB........

Let's send Head Admin to a two-hour seminar in the next state so that she can learn how to do this new thing that Regional Assholes want all the Real Estate offices in this area doing.
But then- five days before everything has to be done, you know, when Regional Assholes send out the LAST NOTICE, let's tell Diana to do this project. Diana: who didn't go to the two-hour seminar in the next state, who didn't sit through the powerpoint presentation, who didn't learn all the chinese words they used in the e-mail, who is about to HANG HERSELF IN THE CONFERENC ROOM BECAUSE SHE DOESN"T KNOW WHAT THE HELL SHE IS SUPPOSED TO BE DOING. Yeah, that seems like a good idea. Let's have Diana do it. Because Head Admin is too busy. Because we didn't know that Head Admin was going to be so busy-though she always is- let's just have Diana learn everything on her own. Why not? She must know what IDX and VOW stand for...who doesn't? Ummmmmmm...Diana doesn't.
I love my job, I love my job, I love my job, I love my job....

Yeah, another big F-U

Blogger sucked ass today.
So I couldn't even write, couldn't comment, hell it almost crashed my whole computer.
So I take it they're trying to make us all switch?

You want WHAT????

We went to a car show yesterday, the three of us. Technically, Daddy was supposed to be manning the booth his job had set up but his bossman gave him a break since he heard that Little Man and I were going to be there, so we could have our family time.
Little man's favorite stop: Yep, they had built a life-sized car to be the exact replica of Lightning McQueen. They were offering a photo next to the car for $5, but I took one myself on our own camera for free. Besides I doubt we would have gotten Little Man away from the car without having to sedate him. Since I still don't own a digital camera (I must be the only person in the world) I have to wait for the pics to be developed. Correction- I have to remember to take the film to the damn place to be developed- then I can show you guys the awesome cars that were there.
My favorite stop: Well, I should say it WAS going to be my favorite stop, but by the time we found the stupid booth he had left. So I couldn't meet Chris, and I couldn't get an autographed photo. And I couldn't get him to fall madly in love with me, giving me free tattoos before he quit tattooing. (Anybody follow the show? He has an injury caused by tattooing so now he has to leave. Bummer. He is a nice artist!)
Daddy's favorite stop: (can't find a link for it) The NEW! Car alarms that have come out. OMG we were standing there talking to the guy (well, Daddy was talking, I was trying to convince Little Man that he didn't really want to get out of his stroller) for more than half an hour. Apparently there is this new car alarm that gets professionally installed for only (ONLY!!!) $750.00 and it connects (nearly invisible)cameras into the interior of your car, so that if your car gets stolen the interior cameras take pics of the whole interior of your car so that you know who stole your car. After what happened last year with his newly finished project car, Daddy doesn't want to take any more risks...so as we were walking away from the booth he leans down and tells me he wants this alarm for his next car. I nearly fell over. "You want WHAT???" "Think of the discount we could get on the insurance for having this type of alarm system, especially where we live since cops get more reports of stolen cars than anything else..." Yes, Daddy, because the only thing I was worried about was the insurance payments when you get your next car. Well, I don't know. I told him I would consult the insurance company and see if we would get a substantial discount for having that alarm system, if not then HELL NO. $750??? Come on, I know you guys like your 'toys' but seriously...

Wandering through Blogland

Rainy Monday here, a day meant for being home in pj's watching pointless t.v while dozing off on the couch.
But no, I am here at work, getting non-stop hang-up phonecalls (don't you LOOOOVE those???) and finishing reading my blogroll super early, leaving me to go out and about in Blogland to find some stuff to read.
Found one- want me to share? Too bad- I'll do it anyway: Funny guy. Loving the picture of the boxer, I actually want one of those dogs someday. The reason I'm shoving him into all your faces is because of this entry that made me laugh out loud because it made me think of my own father. I've said before, my father disappeared on us when I was three, and one of the few times my mother got him to take me and my sister for a weekend was when I was 13 or so. My father likes to cook, and he made us a steak dinner with veggies and stuff (I get my love for meat from him you see?) and I remember him sitting in front of the t.v to eat his dinner. And I was horrified. When he was cutting his meat, the juices would come out- and they would be red! Like blood! I don't remember eating the rest of my dinner, even though ours was cooked all the way through, I was traumatized. I told him his meat was moo'ing as he cut it- it was still alive! Now, it didn't traumatize me into vegetarianism like it would others, but it did cause me to say "Burn it." when ordering in a restaurant for a very long time.
Now- I usually get my meat medium well, where it is cooked thoroughly but not burnt, and still very tender and tasty. No red. No blood. No moo'ing.
So check the Ogre out, he's got some very interesting dreams he'd like to tell you about...
On to find more people to keep me awake today.

Wonder how the KOOKS in my office are doing?

1. The Shitter: Oh man. Let me share (and gross you out-if you're squeemish, feel free to skip this. It's really gross. REALLY.) something that happened last week. Let's just say that I didn't use the bathroom in this office at all for the entire week last week. I would literally wait till I got home, and hopefully I didn't go and give myself a UTI from this...well, apparently The Shitter wasn't feeling well. As he is usually THE SHITTER, he will spend at least half an hour up to three times a day in the bathroom. Everyone knows not to go into 'that back office' for quite a while after he's been in there...but last week he had a stomach bug AND STILL CAME TO WORK. He spent over 90% of his time in there. I swear the cleaning guy had to disinfect that bathroom every single day last week, what's worse is that the smell would carry over to the back of our office, and it wouldn't seem to go away no matter how much air freshner was sprayed. I refused to go into the bathroom. Still do, actually.
2. Stoopid: She called my boss yesterday and told him that I refused to help her look up some information on this digital directory thing we have in the office. I have shown her how to use this directory THREE TIMES, once with Beantown right next to me trying to explain it to her, too. She just doesn't understand. ANYTHING. So to make herself look good and make me look bad she says she asked me for help numerous times and that I keep refusing. She didn't think I could hear her saying this to my boss, she forgets that I'm a mommy and I now have supersonic hearing made for picking up even the slightest noises at great distances. If she wants to go and say that to my bossman, I will just start refusing to help her. Then she won't be a liar. BITCH.
3. Chatterbox- OY. Get me a universal remote like in this movie so I can mute her. I bask in the silence of this office, since I get no peace and quiet at home. (What parent of a toddler does, really?) But when she comes in, (I'm guessing she lives alone) she can't stay quiet for more than a minute. She will tak to anyone, and even herself if she sees no one is paying her any mind. She was in here at 9:05 this morning, I hadn't even gotten any caffeine into my system (DANGEROUS!) and she was jumping off the walls. Lady, just shut the fuck up for five minutes so I can settle in without havig to claw your eyes out.

That's what's going on here. Not too exciting, but eh.

Tupperware

I just read a blog entry that made me laugh out loud.
She tells us about her new found love...and so I had to come back here to talk about a Tupperware Party I am going to this month.
Now- Tupperware-for those who don't need to speak in code around certain people (like co-workers) is my code word for Sex Party. Where we all sit around in someone's living room munching on snacks while someone else shows us a bunch of interesting things you can buy. Who am I kidding, you all know about these Tupperware Parties don't you?
Well, Blondie from my office has invited me to one she is hosting. In turn I invited Head Admin to accompany me, and she is going to tell Other Admin to come along. (The more the merrier according to Blondie.) Head Admin doesn't think Other Admin will even go, she is very shy and reserved, she would probably pass out on Blondie's rug as soon as she hears the word penis.
So I'm warning you all that a blog entry will be following the Tupperware Party with details.
The last time (my first time!) I went to a Tupperware Party I was eighteen and super shy. I can't promise that I will buy anything at this party, but I am definately not as shy as I was back then, so God only knows...
That is all.
Anybody have Tupperware Party stories they want to share? Or Tupperware purchases?

(Thinking about this now- I feel bad for the people who end up here when they google 'tupperware'. Some old ladies may faint. LOLOL!!!!!)

He would make a bad politician

"Little Man, are you ka-ka?"
"No."
"Are you lying?"
"Yes."

Like I said, the world is funny...

Daddy washed the dishes last night for like the second time since we've moved into this house. Eternally grateful was I, since I just sat on the couch and watched (wait for it....)
Speed TV. (Dennis, did you already guess that one?)
Turns out Daddy felt like making me a cake.
It's not my birthday.
It's not our anniversary.
He was disappointed in the nasty cake his BIL (Slow Bastard) had made New Year's Eve, and it left him wanting a good cake. But he used me as the excuse. I believe he said something along the lines of "I know you didn't like the cake Slow Bastard made so I'll make you one of mine." Daddy can make some awesome cakes. Never have I seen him measure anything but the cake comes out so. fucking. good it brings tears to my eyes.
During commercials I would go into the kitchen and wash up whatever he didn't need anymore (hey, it's still MY kitchen. I would feel worthless if I didn't wash something.)
At some point Googlio and Skinny Bitch decided they would 'stop by' and they ended up leaving to get some frosting to put on the cake, because it magically became Everyone's Cake. Skinny Bitch brought vanilla-flavored PINK frosting with SPRINKLES. And because she is pregnant, no one said a word.
I woke up this morning to find a huge pile of dishes in my sink.
It'll be another ten months before Daddy washes dishes in there again, so I know what I'll be doing when I get home tonight...
but damn that cake was good.

Life always turns out funny.

Friday at about four Head Admin called to tell me to go home.
WOO-HOO! Get me outta here! So I called Daddy, since he had taken the car, and said "I'm ready. Come NOW before they change their minds!" "Okay."
So I waited.
And waited.
And waited.
Daddy called me at 4:30 to tell me he was stuck in traffic.
He got here at 5:20.
So I still left here late. Later than usual actually, because on normal days I run outta here at 4:58. I was pissed, but I couldn't be angry at him. I was pissed at the way the world works out.

We went to dinner. It was like a date, we haven't gone out to dinner just the two of us in a loooong time, and it was nice. We got all dressed up, I even combed my hair (!) and wore perfume (a Christmas gift from My Honey. She is a doll, I wasn't expecting something so nice. And it smells goooood.) We went to this restaurant which has the bestest steaks and bread you could ever have. Ever. I swear they made a great move bringing that place here, they are full to capacity every night, and the wait is usually two to three hours on weekends, but we only had to wait twenty minutes. Loved it. And get this, the check only came to $28. We can't even blow $50 the right way! LOL.
*Don't take that as in that's all we left. We left her a hefty tip since we didn't have to wait long and nobody said anything to us for licking their plates clean...*

New Years-just for teenagers apparently. Or people with no kids. We wanted to stay home so badly, but ended up at his mother's house. Little Man stayed up past twelve, dancing the night away. I was sitting in a chair wondering when I was going to see my bed. Drinks were being offered, food was being shoved in my face but I just wanted to go to bed. BED!

I hope you all have a good New Year, may it be better than 2006.