Wednesday, August 02, 2006

And you shall hence forth be known as Stoopid

That is the new agent's name, Stoopid. (Spelling totally stolen from Nita-which by the way Nita, dude, where the hell are you???)
Wanna hear what she just did?
She comes up to my desk and tells me she wants to make copies.
Ooooooookay...so make copies then. The day she started I had stood at the copy machine for A HALF HOUR teaching her how to use it, and while we were there I had her set up a password for an account. (Our copier is set up to count copies to be billed to each agent at the end of the month.)
So I walk her back to the copy machine and tell her all she has to do is punch in her password and she can make the copies.
"What password?" Stoopid asks me.
Deep breath, 12345678910!!! "The password you had entered into the copy machine the day I taught you how to use it."
"I don't remember you teaching me how to use this thing."
I want to kill myself. "You had put in a four-digit number and I showed you how to change the sizes and..." another deep breath. "never mind."
I start showing her AGAIN how to use the stupid fucking copy machine. Another half hour because she keeps stopping me to ask me ABOUT THE START BUTTON.
HOW FUCKING HARD CAN IT REALLY BE?????
When I started walking away after the lesson she calls out to me again saying that she really doesn't remember standing in front of the copier with me at any other time. Well, you were taking some pretty awesome drugs, then, because I'm sure as hell not going to forget that day. And now I have this one to add...
I just nodd and keep walking to my desk.
"Well, you know I'm right." she called out.
I'm going to end up punching her.

5 comments:

dennis said...

Much like my brothers, at one time or another at their respective workplaces, you have encountered the Null Employee.

Anyone who has to ask about a start button on a copier qualifies!!

Stoopid qualifies as a Null employee because Stoopid combined with a productive employee equals Zero employees (because Stoopid's ability to waste time effectively erases the other employee's productivity capability).

By the way, there is no known cure for Null Employees.

Mama of 2 said...

I'll hold her down while you strangle her!

And as for the whole copier issue...don't even get me started there. Seeing as how in the summer most of our employees are high school/college students and I have serious issues with what they are being taught since none of them, I mean NONE have a clue when it comes to the machine. Even when you tell them to push the green button (our start button) they stare are you as if you are speaking Chinese...perhaps I should bring Girlie Girlie in to translate.

Good luck with Stoopid....cause I think you are going to need it.

sourpatchbaby said...

Hey, at least she knows what a copier is. Anyways, you can't be too hard on the poor girl, we don't know if her older brother slammed her head repeatedly against a concrete block when she was a baby. That would explain a lot. lol

Diana said...

dennis- yeah, she's already slowing everyone else down...everyone keeps shooting me the "help me" glances when she calls them over to her desk.
Mamaof2-the start button is also green on ours- and waaaay bigger than any other button. Not too hard to miss...
Sourpatch- yeah, that WOULD explain a lot. LOL.

creative-Type Dad (Tony) said...

She's on CRACK!

What a freak. I don't like people like that. I'm pretty patient, but there are just some people who are just plain stupid. I surprises they can even feed themselves.