Thursday, March 02, 2006

My Cloud Of Doom

I don't think I've ever mentioned it here, but I swear my world is covered by a Cloud of Doom. Like the cartoons that the character has a rain cloud over their head, but no one else does... that's me. Rain Cloud It will go away for a day or two and make me think things will actually turn out pretty okay for me/us, and BOOM! the thunder comes and lightning strikes me in the ass and I'm reminded that I'm cursed after all.

Daddy is unemployed. The head honcho at Paul Masse Chevrolet decided that the 'car care' people just had to go. Daddy's immediate boss, the one who called him to come back, was included in the firing, not part of the firing squad as the last time. EVERYONE who did anything to a car- clean it, fix it, move it, ANYTHING besides sell it was FIRED. Paul Masse decided to bring in some company that would work at an hourly wage (the guys used to get paid by car-good on busy days, bad on slow days) which turns out to be less money out of the pocket of the company. So there's that. Now: the depression. again. The fights. Again. We haven't spoken in two days. His sister is trying so hard to get everything fixed, he is not. She keeps telling me to stay, to try. He is not. She talks to me and listens to me cry because I. JUST. CAN"T. TAKE. IT. ANY. MORE. But he doesn't. Maybe I should just go to my mom's. Maybe I should give up and stop thinking I will be able to get through yet more bullshit, and...
I can't.
I have no where to run and hide.
How can this cloud be removed?????





3 comments:

Melissa said...

I am so sorry to read about what you and your husband are going through. My sister went through the same exact situation, and unfortunately, it did result in the end of their marriage, though there were many other extenuating circumstances in their marriage.

I'd like to tell you the same thing I told my sister, which is that men and women have very different ways of handling trauma, stress, disappointment, embarrassment, etc. Women HAVE to talk about what happend, while men HAVE to keep their feelings internally. This difference obviously makes it difficult to discuss or even reconcile the situation, but perhaps time will help bridge the gap. Though, it seems that you and your husband have been through such difficult times before, and time might be up for your hubby....

Whatever happens, I hope everything works out for you and your family.

JayMonster said...

Melissa really covered the bases pretty well hear, but I will reiterate a few points (because I am a guy... that's why).

I am sorry to hear about yet another setback here as well as the stress.

Melissa is so absolutely right about men internalizing, and right now he is probably feeling pretty sorry for himself, making it even more difficult for him that usual for him to "deal with" your "stuff" (which is how it is probably being said in his head, only probably with a lot more expletives.

I hope you can work things out...

Diana said...

well, we at least spoke yesterday when I got home from work. And we had dinner together. Step one. Sometimes I think he forgets we're in this together and whatever affects one, affects the other. He DOES deal with stuff differently than I do, and well, that's where stuff gets complicated. Thank you guys for your thoughts and insight, and well-wishes. They are appreciated. Update soon as things happen...