Some snippets

I'm going to offer you some snippets from today, because it seems everyone is on a quest to piss me off. Notice I've only been in the office for two hours...I will be adding to this throughout the day. Unless I kill someone. Which will probably end up happening.

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The Shitter walks into the office while I'm on the phone with The Other Office. He sees there is a paper on the printer. He makes a beeline for the printer thinking maybe, just maybe the paper is his.

Dude, how many times do I have to stress that you cannot telepathically print shit out from your head. If there is a paper on the printer when you just walked in, chances are IT AIN"T YOURS.

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We have a new agent here. I haven't been able to write about her because she is always shoved up my ass. Yes, I know you just came from anther office and you're nervous, but can I breath with out you asking me why I took a breath?

She just came to me to say she had gotten photos e-mailed to her for a property she listed but "I don't want to open the photos, so I am going to forward them to you and we can open them together and we'll see what we will do with them."

OH.

MY.

GOD.

Forward me the photos and I will upload them, I don't need you asking me what I'm doing and why. I know what the fuck i'm doing, I've done it enough times. I've got some good stories about her. I can't wait till she leaves me alone long enough to share them.

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A guy walks in asking the price on a house he drove by.

You should have just called the number asshole, because what I'm about to say to you is not going to make you happy. Ready?

"well, the listing agent is the only person who can give you the price on the property, and he's not in the office right now. I can give you his card and you can call him on his cell phone or you can leave your info with me and he can call you back."

He got this look on his face.

I told you you weren't going to be happy.

"I just want to know the price of the house I don't want to waste his time."
Well, you're wasting mine seeing as how now I have to repeat everything I just told you.

So I repeat what I just said.

He got pissed and left.

Why is it that people can't understand that the law in this state does not allow me to give anyone the price on a house? I don't even know why! I just know that's the way it is! Don't get all pissy with me, i didn't make the rules!

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New Agent: (I really have to come up with a nickname for her)"Can you teach me how to use the microwave?

Are you fucking kidding me?!?!?!