Happy Mother's Day Ladies!

Couple days early, but I won't be around on Sunday, so I figure I'd say it now. (My son is waaay bigger than that, but it's the closest thing Yahoo! had...)

Second Post for Today

I really, really have to learn to keep my mouth shut. When I say things it's like an automatic jinx. Daddy, Little Man and I were going to my mother's house and we passed a pretty bad accident on the highway. As we passed it I said to Daddy "I don't know what I would do if the car in front of me would have an accident. Like as we're driving...imagine seeing that happen?" He nodded. He knows how I feel about car accidents, I'm terrified of having another one like that. (I still haven't told you about the one I had when I was seventeen...some other time.) So we continue on our way, and that's that.
Yesterday I was on the highway (I swear I live on the highway) on my way to the unholy Mecca: Wal-Mart. (My bank branch which is open till 7 p.m is in there...it's a set-up.) I'm in the lane next to the slow lane, and from my left comes Speedy Gonzalez rushing by, when suddenly he decides he needs to get off on the next exit, so he darts across my lane and cuts off a Passat that was in the slow lane. Now- when I say cut off, I mean he almost took off the guy's bumper. The Passat comes into my lane, trying not to get hit by the asshole, and the Passat seems to not be able to gain control so he's swerving all over the place. I'm hitting my brakes thinking this guy is going to spin out any second and what the hell am I going to do? I have Little Man in the car with me, his safety is my main concern. Finally, the Passat gets himself straight and I switch lanes just wanting to get away from there.
I'm never going to speculate aloud anymore.


*Read this, it's reeeeeeaaaaaaalllllly funny.

There will be two posts today, whether you like it or not.

Since I was in a pissy mood yesterday I couldn't share this, it happened about a week ago...
Daddy and I drove by a flower shop that is near our house, and they have a big sign outside saying MOTHER'S DAY ROSES $12.99.
Me: Are you getting me roses for Mother's Day?
Daddy: Is that what you want, flowers?
Me: What, you don't have a gift for me? (Half-joking, I'm not one to expect gifts.)
Daddy: Well, I have a gift all set for you birthday, I just don't know what to get you for Mother's Day.
Me: My birthday is like two months away, just give me my birthday gift for Mother's Day.
Daddy: NO! That's cheating. It's for your birthday. So you should tell me what you want for Mother's Day, do you want flowers?
Me: I don't want flowers. I want my birthday present.
Daddy: It's not your birthday.
Me: We can pretend...
Daddy: No.
Me: Please? Pretty please? With Mother's Day roses on top?
Daddy: No.
Me: Fine.
...
...
Me: You sure? Can't you give it to me on Mother's Day AND my birthday?

He turned the music up. I tried...

Rrrrrrr...

I'm kinda in a bitchy mood. Don't feel much like writing, so I will give you guys some links to distract you from my suckiness. Because I care that much.

• This game has me addicted right now, it's a little tricky to get used to, but then you get it and you're a prisoner. Forever. Or until you get so frustrated, you throw the computer out the window. Or until you find another game.
• Play this one if you have a few minutes to sit down and concentrate. Play the whole way through, it's great!
  

Oh. No.

Please, no! This will be some scary stuff...please please please don't let it happen!!! (Right now he says he 'doesn't know', but you know we'll end up seeing his face on 'Vote for Me!' posters in no time!!!

***I had trouble logging on to blogger yesterday, so I couldn't post after what I wrote. I may change the comments back because some people wouldn't be able to comment since they have typepad...(there are better things than blogger??? ) So, hopefully that was just a one-time thing and I don't have to do it permanently, because i heart my (few but lovely) commentors!

Fuck You Anonymous

Someone left a nasty comment on my post about everyone coming here for Elmo. I erased it, and have taken it upon myself to not allow anonymous comments. So fuck you, asshole. Get a life.

Well-wishes needed

Catherine over at Everything's Under Control has just lost her baby at 20 weeks. Please have her in your thoughts and prayers in this very difficult time. She is a beautiful person, and it's such a shame that things like this have to happen.

My Weekend

FRIDAY: Daddy and I had plans to go out with some friends. Nothing too extravagant, just hang out and bullshit. After work I ended up getting a slight migraine just behind my right eye. Daddy went and got me some Excedrin since I had run out a while ago and never needed it since. (Stupid me, thinking I would never get another headache!) So I take the pills and we go to meet up with our friends. I couldn't get out of the car, my headache was literally crippling me, I couldn't even open my eyes anymore, the pills weren't working. I asked Daddy to drive me home, I couldn't take it. I get home and take my contacts out so I could lay down, and wouldn't you know my freaking contact was RIPPED! IN MY EYE! It didn't cause 'discomfort' to my eye, like the eye doctor always says, my eye wasn't in ANY discomfort- except for the blinding headache I got...
SATURDAY: One of my mother's friends was throwing her husband a surprise 50th birthday party. My mother asked me to go shopping for a gift with her. So off we go to The Christmas Tree Shops and she bought him this really nice garden decoration. (He loves gardening when he's not off saving lives at the hospital.) We had lunch together, and Little Man was starting to show signs of wanting a nap so we go back to her house where I lay him down and she prepares to wrap the gift. (My mother has a gift for wrapping things, she does wonders with some cellophane and fake grass and all that jazz.) She takes the foot-tall Owl out of the bag and SMASH!!!! The stupid thing falls and breaks into a million pieces. She wanted to cry. I wanted to cry, we had driven almost forty-five minutes just to get to the stupid store in the first place. I just shook my head, grabbed my keys and left her with Little Man while I got another Owl. (Great daughter I am!) The party was nice. His wife got him a motorcycle, so I don't think he even noticed the Owl.
SUNDAY: When we discover that not only have I passed my smashing good looks down to my son, but that I have also passed down my allergies. My severe allergies. To my 18 month old. Let's just say that at some point I was literally driving (speeding?) across two cities just to get to a 24-hour pharmacy because the stupid one right next to my house wouldn't let me in at 6:02 (they close at 6) even for an emergency. So I get the children's Benadryl, which makes my son drunk, but the swelling went down. (Poor kids eyes were almost shut.) And the itchy eyes stopped. And the foot-long snot projecting from his nose when he sneezed stopped. (Um, eeewwww.) Unfortunately, my yard is a jungle, so every time we go to get in the car there is pollen and crap all over so we have to run when we have the baby in our arms. Daddy made it a game and the kid was hiccuping from laughing so hard.
That's it, in a nutshell.

Reasons I should move back to NYC

• I miss my family terribly. My extended family. Pre-baby I used to be there every weekend I had off from work. Post-baby, I've been back there once, without Little Man. I was not welcome there. (My mother gave me concert tickets for my birthday and she offered to stay with the baby...)
• The owners of the Chinese Restaurant near my house could speak fluent Spanish. It was kind of weird, but they made some KILLER plaintains. (Don't tell my mother I said that) And they were open late. Really late. Like you could get Chinese/Spanish food at 4 a.m.
• I had a store nearby that was dedicated to hair-care products and nothing more. I would go and drop money there like crazy, so my hair was always beautifully maintained. Very important when you have long hair.
• I didn't need a car.
• I didn't need a car.
• I didn't need a car.

I swear the Cloud of Doom...

Yesterday some hose on my car decided to explode while I was on the highway, causing the car to shut itself off (in order to save the motor from BLOWING UP!) and leave me to barely pull over enough so no one would hit me. Thankfully, I had just dropped Little Man off at my mother's, so Daddy and I quickly called for reinforcements and stood as far away from the car as possible. My sister's boyfriend (a mechanic) and Daddy got to work and repaired the hose by the side of the highway, while I sat there wanting to cry. I just get so frustrated at the fact that i don't want to spend all my money on a car, and it seems that when you fix one thing, another breaks. I just finished putting a brand new transmission in the piece of shit. And this is my "new" car. Please don't ask me to get into details- i have been in a tug-of-war with the dealership and my lawyer since the thing went caput, and I'm utterly exhausted about the whole ordeal. So yesterday I was thinking if the motor just blew on this thing, I'm taking it as a sign to move back to The City. I'm done with this car bullshit, I'm done!done!done!!! The car is fine now. Until...

A Life Lesson

Don't Shit on the People Who Help You

Something everyone should practice. Now- I know I have very openly expressed my dislike for a certain asshole in this office. I haven't gotten into many details except for the stupid things that send me into a tirade when it becomes too much. This guy had a personal assistant that left at the end of December, but she found herself a replacement. I personally thought she hated the person she found as her replacement, because I knew she hated the asshole- why would you have someone you like work for someone you hate? Three weeks went by after she left, and still no sign of the replacement assistant, I thought for sure the replacement had come to his (yes, it's a guy) senses and decided not to come work for the asshole. But lo and behold, the shiny new replacement assistant came in. Smiling. Obviously unsuspecting to the hell that awaited him.

It's been four months. I feel bad for the replacement. The asshole- just to give you some backround on why I hate him so you don't think it's all senseless- uses everyone as a scapegoat. Never is he wrong, there is always someone he can point the finger at and take any blame or fault off himself. There was one day that I had put a listing in the computer for him ( a house that just went on the market) and as always, I follow the listing sheet, putting in the information the agent has provided for me. Apparently some of the information was wrong and the sellers of the house called to complain to the asshole. I was on the back computer, near his office, and heard his conversation. I believe the words I heard were along the lines of "I'm sorry. I guess she just put in whatever she felt like. I don't know where she got this information from. Goes to show how good help is these days, she does this all the time." See why I call him an asshole? Not one other agent has ever had a complaint about me, and all I did was follow his instructions.

So, last week the asshole went to Texas for some conference. One of the sellers from one of his properties apparently had to get in touch with the asshole, and the asshole wasn't picking up her phone calls. She called the office sixteen times a day, she even ended up calling my bossman, who was not happy to be having to try to calm this woman down when she had every right to be angry. (Please remember that the asshole's last day was supposed to be last Friday...he told my boss he would be staying another month...on MONDAY MORNING.) So the asshole comes back, everyone is livid with him, he's about to lose business all over the place. He's on the phone Monday, Tuesday and most of Wednesday trying to kiss people's asses and keep his business. (Who wouldn't, that's money he would be losing...) So the replacement comes to me today and says that he gave the asshole his month's notice. A sigh of relief for him, i know he was miserable. Twenty minutes later, the asshole hands me a sheet of paper asking me to fax it for him. On the sheet of paper (I happened to glance at it) it said "Sorry about last week, I left the replacement specific instructions, and they were not followed. It has been taking care of, I have fired him." (The replacement told me last week that his specific instructions were to not come to work...)

Can you believe this guy???
The replacement ended up at the fax machine and saw the fax. All he said was "Well, I guess I don't have to finish up the month, huh? He could have told me instead of saying it to other people."

The replacement helped the asshole with a lot, has gotten him out of very sticky situations, and has helped him keep people that want to pull out of deals and for the asshole to go and shit on him like this. I feel bad.

I appreciate that my boss is not an asshole like this guy.

I feel bad for whoever he hires as his assistant next...

An oldie, but a goodie/ A must read!

Rain, rain, go away, come again some other day...
Remember that song from, what? kindergarten? I used to believe it actually worked. Singing it to myself today, it's been raining for two days, and my son can't go out and play because of it. I'm hoping to take him out to a park on Saturday, Daddy works so me and LittleMan get eight hours to ourselves...but if it rains...


***A must read!!! I read this at Mary Jane's place, please read it. I would like to know how many husbands will sign up/survive!!! (Thanks Mary Jane for the great read!)
Edited to add: Latteman, no cheating. We all know you will win!
>>>Look at that- I added a photo on my profile! I'm learning guys! Now, will it show up when i make comments on other blogs? Will my son's pic be all over the internet...literally???

Was she told?

You know, we are going to keep reading stories like this over and over and over. Those readers that have been around here a while know how I feel about these situations where a child (yes 13 is a CHILD) is put in danger. But then I stop and think- (after saying what a prickly pervert the guy is to be seeking a 13 year-old girl) did anyone educate this girl on the dangers out there? Did anyone tell her it was NOT okay to be talking to grown men on the internet? Did anyone tell her to stop trying to grow up so fast?
I hate the fact that MySpace has become a forum for people just looking to "hook up" (I've seen a couple of profiles and-ewwwww.)
So while we are arresting the men (good) and scolding the owners/people who run MySpace (ehhh) what are we doing to the kids? At thirteen, I really think she already knew what she was getting herself into. At thirteen, she was talking to a "guy" that she was interested in, and skipped school. At thirteen she must have agreed to go somewhere with this man, but unfortunately her thoughts were probably "Oh he really likes me."
Please, please, please if you have children (ESPECIALLY YOUNG GIRLS) educate them, let them know what is going on. I know we want to keep thinking our kids are our babies and 'they would never do such a thing', but let's be realistic, okay? Kids are growing up waaaaay too fast these days...let's at least try to make it just a little safer for them by educating them on what really goes on...
When I was a freshman in high school our computer class assignment on the first day of school was to open an e-mail account. We started going into chat rooms behind our teacher's back, and a girl from my class- 14 years old- met a guy she thought 'was really cool'. She was kidnapped and raped. She told him exactly where she lived, where she went to school, where she went after school. No one had told us not to do that. If someone had...well, it might not have happened.

Hustle and Bustle

I had two weddings to attend on Saturday. One ceremony was at three, the other was at four. It would have been easy if one of the weddings was in the morning, but no. So to not disappoint anyone, I RSVP'd to both, and bet your ass I made it to both ceremonies. They were beautiful.

My friend's wedding was emotional for everyone. She has been away at college (now at graduate school) for about four years now, and this is the first time we (the buddies) have been together at once since then. We were the buddies, six of us, who met mainly through eachother. We went out every weekend, we called eachother at 6 a.m on birthdays, exchanged gifts at Holidays...then one had a baby. Then The Bride went away for school. Then another had twins and moved back home to be closer to her sick mother. Then I had Little Man. There are just two that are neither married nor have kids. We have grown up and are following the path our lives are leading us to, which for us seems to be in different ways. But we were together again, and we were so happy. I was tearing up the second she started walking down the aisle. When they were announced as husband and wife I felt such joy for them. The reception was a time for five of us (The Bride was busy, hello!) to snap a million pictures together, and (those of us with kids) break out the most recent photos. We ate, drank, and talked talked talked talked....it was great. I miss my buddies. I'm glad I got to spend time with them.
The other wedding, for one of the agents at my job, also beautiful. They make a great couple. Their reception was also beautiful, the little time I got to spend there. I snuck away from my friend's reception to go and make my appearance there, and got lost on the way. But I showed my face, laughed with some co-workers. Danced to "Hey, Mickey!" (Hey Mickey, you're so fine, you're so fine you blow my mind. Hey Mickey!!!!)
Then I rejoined the buddies. God, I could have stayed there all night. But I was home by midnight. And Daddy pointed out the huge smile I had on my face. And I felt goooooooood.
Sunday morning was not great, I had to pick Little Man up from my mother's house, but I woke up with the biggest headache, ever. It actually kinda felt like a hangover headache, but I had only had one drink. ONE DRINK. I had to crawl out of bed and find some sunglasses, quick! I made myself somewhat presentable, took some advil and spent the day with Daddy and Little Man.
So I made it to both. Barely made it to the second, but dammit I showed my face!!!

***To the person looking for sex*pictures*of*elmo- that's just gross. Really.

Ugh, Monday, go away.

It's Monday, I'm swamped at work. Yes, I came to work. Yep, I'm a "sell-out", I "don't care about my relatives", and "I have no appreciation for what my fellow hispanics are going through." Fuck off- I totally understand what's going on, but I'm very easily replaceable at work and I can't afford to lose my job. For those in the know- here's how it is in my neck of the woods>>>the highway was surprisingly lighter in traffic this morning, I hear downtown is a mess. City Hall (according to someone else- i don't go near downtown) is full of people...this could get ugly.
I will be back later with reports of the Two Weddings.

Linky link link link...and some strange google hits

• This commercial is frikkin hilarious! Borrowed from Cecily. "Why no pinch?"
• Old school Porky Pig. Hehehe.
• I think I would have punched them if it were me, but it's REALLY REALLY funny.

As for Google hits- we're getting some funny ones:

• Elmo is a retard. (yes, I know, but the kiddies love him!)
• Me in a bunny suit. (Not ME, but someone really typed the word 'me'. My question is- if you came into my site looking for that, why would I have a picture of YOU in a bunny suit???)
• And another person looking for ELmo getting killed. Hope they were satisfied with my son runnng him over with a truck. If not, sorry.

Feeling nostalgic

Pictures of us as we were getting ready to leave the hospital.
Please excuse my hair, I had just squeezed a child from my loins. And that's probably the only picture you guys will ever see of me, I hate taking pictures. (Am I everything you've ever dreamed???)LOL.

Well, in a week my son turns the big 18...months, that is. I was looking at him play yesterday, and he seems so grown-up already. I know he has to grow, but where did my baby go? Since another baby is not in our horizon (anytime soon anyway) I'm trying to hold on to this time, but he seems to grow so much each day, with new words and just doing things himself. (He can almost put his own socks on.) Where's the pause button???

Some freebies!

Anybody like freebies? Well, now I know two bloggers that loooove to give stuff away. The newest one is Supermom. She has a blog dedicated to just helping people (and herself) get out of debt. Check it out! And if you get any of the freebies, let me and her know how they worked out. I think I'm sending out for the Olay products, my mother swears by them so I'll try them.

Special guest star: Daddy!

There was a day sometime last week that was a miracle day. I was laying down with the baby, who was about to drift off to Slumberland. Daddy was manuevering around the house, I wasn't paying too much attention. I got up to go to the bathroom once the kid had fallen asleep and lo and behold!!! Would you believe me if I told you he changed the toilet paper roll? Not just took out a new roll and placed it on top of the thingie, or placed it on top of the toilet-but actually took the cardboard thing off and put the new roll on. Whoa. That was a shocker, he never does that.
Wait! It didn't end there. I went to throw Little Man's diaper out- and he had taken the garbage out! And put a new bag in! Holy shit! If he hadn't already laid down to sleep, and if the baby wasn't sleeping, I would have cheered and thrown a party. But I didn't say a word. He knew I appreciated it, he's finally starting to see how hard it is to work and maintain a household at the same time. All I wanted was some justification and I'm not going to be an asshole and rub it in his face.

Happy Whatever-you-call-it Day!

Doesn't this cartoon remind you of what you want to do sometimes? Happy Whatever-you-call-it Day to all the administrators out there, your work is appreciated. Without us, who would take all the shit people have to dish out? Who would know where the closed files are? Who would handle all the crazies?
To those who have administrators, show them some love. (My boss had "forgotten" what today was till one of the other girls reminded him.) We try our hardest to get things flowing for you, to keep those crazy people at bay, and to make everything as easy as possible.
*Update- I went to lunch with two of the agents that I like here, and my bossman joined us. Came back to my desk to find a beautiful plant and a nice card from the bossman. No 20's, Nita, maybe next year.

You just can't look away

Here are some pictures of (what's left of) one of Daddy's friend's car. He was in an accident about two weeks ago, and he got the car towed to his house so he can take the motor out and put it in another car. (Die-hard car guys.) He ended up hitting a pole backwards (car spun out at a turn, he was obviously going too fast.) Thankfully there was no one in the backseat, they surely would have died. He is fine, he got a few stitches over his eye and has a couple of scratches here and there. He had to cancel his physical test for the police academy because he was in pain, but he's already signed up for the next one. In the last picture you can see that the exhaust system is perfectly intact. Stupid exhaust systems rust out all the time, but hit a pole and they survive...

Cripes.

I just answered the phone: Good afternoon, company name here, how can I have it?

I really really have to stop reading blogs while I'm answering the phone.
(The line I was reading was : I will have it.)
The guy must have thought we were a phone sex service. Thank God he didn't tell me how I could have it...

May Breakfast

My boss has planned a May Breakfast for both offices. Together. That's about forty agents. And three administrators. And most likely his wife and cute little dog. So when he first mentioned the idea of a May Breakfast, I thought his wife will never cook for that many people. Then he told me how it was going to go down. There is a restaurant right down the block from my office that my boss frequents when he is on this side of town. They are one of those exclusive restaurants that open at one and serve $18 salads. (I hope I'm not the only one who thinks that is ridiculous.) Anyhoo- my boss has somehow convinced these people to open up for us at 9 a.m and cook us breakfast.

Apparently they like my boss, because they didn't even think twice about it. So we're having May Breakfast at a very exclusive, very uppity restaurant where my boss will pay for the breakfast of forty plus people. I'm sure they're giving him a deal, but that still seems like it'll be about a million dollars. It's times like this that I think I should get into this real estate thing, but in about five minutes the phone will ring and I will come to my senses and say Fuck. That.

Everyone comes here for Elmo

I got one of those site meters. I get a kick out of reading the funny searches that bring people to the blogs I read. So I said "Hey, I wonder what people are looking for when they accidently hop onto my blog."

ELMO.

Why would I think they would be looking for something else? Of course, there have been some strange requests:

• Elmo dressed like a Pimp. (?)
• Killing Elmo (Big Bird is plotting...)
• Lalalala shut the fuck up (yeah, sometimes I wanna say it, too)

But basically everyone is looking for Elmo. Sorry to disappoint. So-I took some pics of my boy and his favorite monster.

Here he actually looks like he's trying to run Elmo over with the monster truck. So I guess that covers killing Elmo.

Next is the sleeping bag my mother got him for Easter, you know, since he goes camping ALL THE TIME. Notice in the first pic he doesn't actually want to lay ON the sleeping bag...and I would also like to point out that the sleeping bag is thrown on my kitchen floor as I'm trying to cook something that resembles food. And in the second pic he is trying to get his binky in Elmo's mouth. (that covers the 'shut the fuck up' part.) The Elmo in the truck pic is the cooperative Elmo, taking the binky, the sippy, crackers, shoes, fingers...the sleeping bag Elmo, not so much.

And yes he was running around in a diaper and a T-shirt. It was a rainy Saturday. And the T-shirt was the only thing he would let me touch him with.

So if anyone happens upon here not looking for Elmo, I'll let you guys know.

Friday, Friday, Friday

It's Friday, it's gorgeous out. Daddy has tomorrow off and it's going to rain. So we have worked an entire week that every single day has been beautiful, and the weekend is going to be crappy. Oh, the joy of working forty plus hours!
So I'm on a search to find stuff to make everyone smile at least a bit today. I need it, so I'm forcing it on you.

• I wonder how she would react if she actually won something big! (gotta love her laugh, really!)
• Lucky Lady. At least she'll spend her last years very, very happy.
• Even I park better than this.

I think we set a new record here. (*updated*)

• Yesterday, 5 p.m I call an agent to inform her that a fax came through and there is a list of certain paperwork that needs to be sent to the lawyer. I go home. Today, 10:28 a.m, that agent calls me and SAYS to me "I received a fax there yesterday with a list that I need to send to the lawyer." Yeah, lady, I left that message for you yesterday on your voicemail. "So, I guess I'll have to go in and look at the list so I can get the papers in order..." She's not being the least bit humorous about this, she's not joking. Me: "Yeah, I guess you do..." I don't know what the hell else to say. Her: "okay, I'll be in later then."

Sometimes I wonder about these people. But wait it gets better:

• 10:30 a guy calls and says: "Hi, Alicia Somebody-or-other?" Me: No, this isn't Alicia- Him: (cutting me off)"Okay I'll call back later then." Hangs up before I can tell him there is NO Alicia here and, well, I still won't be Alicia when he calls back.

I should start recording these phonecalls and posting them here, you guys would love it.

• And of course I can't forget the asshole that I love oh-so-much. He sent a paper to the other office so our bossman could sign it, and now he comes to my desk asking me where the paper is. How the fuck would I know, do I work at the other office? "Well I need that paper in forty-five minutes." Not my problem. "Can you call the other office and see if they can drop it off in the next half hour?" So I call the other office, it's signed and ready to go but our boss isn't there and no one else can bring the paper. I tell him this. "well, why not?" "Because everyone there is busy. But you can go pick it up, it's signed." "Well, no I don't want to do that, why can't (bossman) come drop it off?" I'm losing my fucking mind here. "(bossman) is NOT. IN. THE. OFFICE. How would he drop it off if he doesn't have it with him?" He mumbles something about nothing ever getting done. "Well, I can't hold (bossman's) hand. If he's not in the office, then he's not in the office. The paper is signed, you know where the other office is..." I swear not ten minutes has gone by and he's already come to my desk five times to ask me to remind them to drop the paper off TODAY.

I hate him. He's leaving the office at the end of the month, and I couldn't be happier. And the thing that gets me the most is that this asshole will talk so much shit and try to yell at me, but as soon as the boss comes he's all smiles and has his tail between his fucking legs. He must get a kick out of yelling at me, but as you can see I don't let it happen. My boss doesn't care, he knows the stupid guy is a punk bitch.

OH MY GOD ITS NOT EVEN LUNCH YET! I'm sure there will be additions to this list.

***updated to add- Daddy surprised me by showing up to take me to lunch. He didn't even know I was having a bad day till he walked in. The relief I felt was...indescribable. (I know I spelled that wrong). Anyway, I took Daddy to that place with the kick-ass Chicken Caesar Wraps, and an hour away from the office really helped.
But of course- The asshole came to my desk at about 2:30 to ask me for that goddamned paper again. I just looked at him and I wanted to laugh out loud. I said "Well, (bossman) came to the office about five minutes before I went to lunch and he had the paper in his hand. Did you check your mailbox???" The idiot was so ready to talk shit to me again, but he went and checked his mailbox and lo and behold ! The paper was there!!!!!!! He left the office without another word. Stupid ass.

Okay I'm better now.

Last Night

• Last night I wanted to kick Little Man's ass. He didn't want to sleep. My sister wore his ass out during the day, she had brought him to the park and we both took him out to dinner and when he got home I stripped him and put him down and he didn't even stir. Then at 2:30, the magical hour, he gets up. Doesn't want to be in the crib anymore. Yes, we have started on that again. He had been sleeping in the crib all week without incident, I didn't want to mention it so I wouldn't jinx it. So whatever, I wanted to sleep not listen to him scream so Daddy brings him into the bed, and instead of just laying down he decides he has to sleep on top of Momma. Specifically on my head. So I'm all "Little Man, lay down." "Little man, go to sleep." "Little Man, get off Momma's head." for the next hour or so. Ugh. Then, Daddy starts sneezing non-stop. He kept sneezing for a good half hour before his intelligence kicked in and he went to get some Sudafed. (The same Sudafed he didn't want when I offered to get it for him. Retard!) Needless to say I wanted to break the alarm clock when it went off.
• Last night I kinda told my sister about this blog. I didn't give her the address yet, because I'm kinda iffy about someone I know reading it. It's not that I've got anything to hide, or am ashamed of anything I write here...I don't even know what it is. I told her about the CHBM and about how I've "met" some great people, and she's all like "hey, where can I sign up?" So my sister may be joining the blog-o-sphere and then she'll really be all in my shit. (I think I hooked her by telling her about the amazingly delicious cookies I received.) So I guess I will be giving my sister my blog addy and we'll see what happens. She may print it out and hold it against me forever. She is evil that way. (Have I not mentioned this is the sister that told me my mother found me in the garbage and kept me because she felt bad for me? But that nobody really liked me? And I have no real family? Have I not mentioned that? I will have to tell that story sometime, maybe later on today.)

Babies, babies, everywhere!

Well-wishes for this family. May they be able to grow healthy when they are separated. (beautiful girls, aren't they?)

Congrats TomKat. Even though, I still think her belly was fake and this is all some type of scheme.

Congrats to Brooke Shields, who doesn't have her own story in Yahoo!, but she also had her little girl yesterday. Ironically it is said she gave birth in the same place as Katie. Ha, jokes on you Tom, betcha didn't expect that one.

Oy. It's been a loooong day...

Five minutes ago a fax comes through, I call the agent it belongs to and this is what I said: "Hi, it's Diana I just wanted to let you know the inspection report for (insert address here) just came through the fax. The buyer has some requests."
Silence.
Silence.
Agent: So a fax came through?
My Blank Stare at nothing, since the IDIOT was not in the office to receive it.

Two minutes later he calls me back.
Agent: So the fax...did it say if the buyer had any requests?

Holy Mother of Whoever-it's time for me to go home.

A grand day at the Grand Prix

I was so happy to hear Daddy's voice on the phone yesterday before I left work. He is not one to call me fifteen times a day, he's busy at work, so we will maybe talk once during lunch or something. Anyway, he called and said "Hey, we should go to the Grand Prix today." I'm thinking Dude, it's Monday, and we don't get outta work till five and by the time we get the baby it'll be almost six. Then I would have to go home and change into jeans because there's no way I'm going in heels, then the baby will have to eat... but I said "Okay, that sounds fun. Let's go." He called me about an hour later to tell me he had gathered the troops, several friends of ours would be joining us for some Impulse Monday Fun. The baby was fed and I was in jeans and we headed to the Grand Prix with great expectations. Obviously, the boy didn't get on any of the cars, but he loved watching me and Daddy on them. We took turns staying with him on the sidelines and he would wave and cheer as we passed. We played several games in the arcade, putting Little Man on our laps to drive the race simulators and put him on the "real" motorcycle. He dropped coins into the "Everyone's a Winner" games and squealed when tickets came out. He waved at the cute little girls. He waved at the cute not-so-little girls. He was asleep before we left the parking lot.
After I read that news story yesterday, I needed that outing. And I read another scary one today, and it makes you think. All the "What if's" come flood your mind, and you just want to grab the kid and hug him till he pushes you away. Then when he pushes you away, you still want to hug him more. Life is scary, it's short. You just never know. I know I have some anger issues I need to work on, and I need more patience with my son, but I can only do it one day at a time, right? So yesterday, I didn't yell at my son. I didn't lose my temper at anyone. I just had fun with my family and some friends.
Taking it one day at a time, hoping to have many days to take...

And then he kissed me!

Cheeze Puff Face/Hands. Classic recipe for a great kiss. He ate some cheese puffs (or mashed them all over his face) and kept wanting to kiss me. I let him, why not? Gotta have fun now while he still WANTS to kiss me.

And no, his eyebrows still have not grown in.

Hope everyone had a great weekend...

of course someone has to be a great asshole and do this... I really, really, really hope, for the sake of that poor boy's mother, that the shooter can at least come forward and turn himself in. My heart is breaking for this family, they were in the wrong place at the wrong time. I'm sorry this had to happen to you. RIP, little David.
***Added- you know what, scratch that. They were NOT at the wrong place at the wrong time, they were just trying to enjoy their Easter. The assholes who were arguing like children were the ones who were at the wrong place at the wrong time.

Nita did this to me...

She sent it to me via e-mail, but I'm the retard that's going to post it here, because I feel that I don't really talk about ME here, (except when I'm pitching a fit over something.) So get to know me a little more- because the list of weird things just wasn't enough to scare you away...

Four jobs I have had in my life:

1. Waitress
2. Hotel housekeeper (yuck, and BLECH!)
3. Security person for a department store (that's a story!)
4. Administrator
   

Four movies I could watch over and over:

1. Dirty Dancing
2. Scarface
3. Carlito's Way
4. Italian Job

Four places I have lived:

1. Puerto Rico
2. New York
3. Connecticut
4. Rhode Island

Four TV shows I love to watch:

1. Sex and the City (yep, the reruns)
2. Friends (yep, the reruns)
3. Sesame Street (I'm forced to, but I still secretly love it.)
4. Pinks (a racing show Daddy and I are into where people race for pink slips. It's great.)

Four places I have been on vacation:

1. Puerto Rico
2. Puerto Rico
3. Puerto Rico
4. New Hampshire (camping, loved it!)

Four web sites I visit daily:

1. all the blogs I stalk
2. Yahoo! News
3. MLXchange (real estate crap)
4. Any site with games

Four of my favorite foods:

1. Lasagna
2. Pasteles (Supermom, you know I had to mention them!)
3. Raw veggies with Ranch dip
4. French Fries (ate them literally EVERY DAY while I was pregnant.)

Four places I would rather be right now:

1. Home, sleeping
2. At the park with Little Man
3. Getting my car fixed. (Please don't ask, I'll bite your head off.)
4. Anywhere but here! (work- it's gorgeous out! TGIF!!!!)

So now you know just a little more about me. I've drilled another hole in my wall, and let you peek in.

Happy Easter Ya'll

I would love to put this pic on my profile, but alas, I am a computer idiot and can't figure out why my profile pic has to come from a website (if Latteman has any suggestions...)...So I present you with a "picture" of me in a bunny suit.So Happy Easter. May you stuff yourselves with ham and other delicious food this weekend. I will add some stuff to this post as the day goes on. But, in the words of Tigger, TTFN!

***Edited at 2:54 p.m- five minutes before i'm due to leave the office...
HOLY MOTHER OF SOMEONE I TOTALLY FORGOT TO TAKE MY SON TO GET HIS EASTER BUNNY PICTURES TAKEN!!!! Now I have to figure out which day I want to spend three hours in a friggin' line waiting for a pic with the bunny...today? or tomorrow? This happened to me at Christmas and I didn't even go get his pic with Santa taken, what kind of a mother have I become!?!? He will grow to hate me for not having these important photos of him...

And can I also say I have yet to give/mail ONE of his Christmas photos that we had professionally taken and paid MONEY for? Yeah, they're still sitting in their envelope somewhere in my cluttered house...

Our New Niece

Here she is! All 6 lbs 13oz, 18 inches of her! She wouldn't move her hand away from her face long enough for us to take the picture, this was the closest we could get. She has a head full of dark hair, and when she makes faces she actually looks like my Little Man. As of yesterday my SIL's milk still won't come down, so she's been getting frustrated and the bottle is what she's taking. (After pumping four times yesterday my SIL got ONE ounce out. Collectively.) But she's a hungry baby, and I think she almost took four ounces yesterday at one feeding...gotta love her. I'm going to go see her this weekend, hopefully I can get her hands away from her face!

And something I wanted to share, last night my son was drinking juice from his sippy, and in trying to get him to say juice more (it's so cute "joosh") I asked him what he was drinking. He moved the cup a bit to the side and POINTED at the juice. I laughed so hard. He didn't want to stop drinking to tell me, I guess. So I took a picture. I asked for it...

Because I really want to share this with you....

The Pajama Mama made me do this. She really did. Now if I lose both of my readers because of my weirdness, I will stalk her and try to steal her readers. HA! So in response, I'm cooperating, and tagging Melissa because she loves it, and supermom, because I want to know if she has any weird habits. I don't know of anyone else, so again (like the other times) if you want to be tagged, then play along. Just let me know so I can read it and not be so ashamed of my weirdness. The line is "LIST SIX WEIRD THINGS ABOUT YOU".
Crap. Here goes.

1. when I get out the shower I always have to dry myself with the towel facing the same way. Like I have to use the towel with the tag up on top so I know I'm always using it the same way. (OCD?)
2. when I drink out of a paper cup, it has to be at the seam where the cup is glued to itself. I don't know why. (OCD?)
3. when I eat my food, everything has to be in an equal portion. So if I run out of meat before anything else, I'm done eating. The exception being small servings of veggies or something. Mostly it's with the main part of the meal, which in my hispanic household it's usually meat and rice. (OCD?)
4. When I'm angry I clean. Obsessively. My mother is the only person (until now) that knows this, and knows when me and Daddy have it out because the house is spotless. We haven't fought in a while (that just jinxed the hell out of us) so the house is kinda messy. Hey I have a toddler who throws things!
5. I got this one from my father, and didn't know it until recently when my mother told me. If you fold a napkin in half, and then in half again, and then again you will have a corner that is kinda sharp, but still soft enough for you to touch. I do this with all napkins, play with them. You will always see a rumpled napkin in my hand, and it's not just to wipe my son's face/hands. (OCD?) Daddy laughs about it, but he hands me fresh napkins whenever we're out now.
6. I can't sleep if Daddy's not home. Even if I know where he is and what he's doing I just can't sleep.

So that's enough of my weirdness. New readers, (and old) don't hold any of this against me. At least I'm not out in public with a pot on my head singing jingle bells in my nightie. (Hey, there's a sight, huh?) Let me know if you did this!

Writing Collabo Number Dos

"IF YOU HAD AN ENTIRE WEEKEND TO YOURSELF, WHAT WOULD YOU DO?"
An entire weekend?
Sleep!!!!!
I would catch up on all the sleep I haven't gotten in the past year and a half, because I really don't think I would do anything else. It's different with me, since I work 40 hours a week i don't get to spend much time with Daddy and Little Man. When I come home it's cooking time, and then before you know it, it's soon Little Man's bedtime and Daddy is dead tired from work (YAY!) so we all crash. Our weekends are just that, OUR weekends, where we do everything and anything together as a family. So if I had an entire weekend to myself, I would just sleep because if I did anything else I would miss them too much. I'm so pathetic. But that's my answer.
Check out the rest of the CHBM who wrote their answers for this collaboration...there's some good reading there.

On Withdrawal...

I came into the office yesterday and tried to log on to my computer so I can start my day (with actual work, I had lots to do...) and the internet would not connect.
NO INTERNET!!!!!! FOR THE WHOLE DAY!!!!! ON A MONDAY!!!!
So I couldn't do any work, I couldn't read my e-mail, I couldn't blog, I couldn't even read the news from around the world. My boss was livid, because the guy he hired to come in on Saturday to fix ONE computer ended up knocking our whole wireless system out. So the guy had to come in yesterday and spend the day with me and my boss doing what should have been checked on Saturday before he left. Let me tell you, no real estate office should be without internet because that would be the day that everyone and their mother wants to call about this house or that house...
So I spent the day yesterday reading the boring old local newspaper, watering the plants that I've left to die, and pretty much just hanging out. At least if I don't have anything to do any other day I look busy- but yesterday it was laughable. I was desperate for something to do. And of course it was unheard of that I go home early...
But my boss made sure the guy fixed my wireless, the bad news is that now all the other computers are going to have to get hard-wired because for some reason, they won't connect to the wireless...
So I'm back. And I don't have pics of my New Niece (that will be her name here, even though we were calling her No-No in the hospital because every time someone asked if she had a name you would hear "No, No" from everyone else in the room.) yet, because I have to upload them. And since I have some work to catch up on, they may not come till tomorrow...

***Asshole. Pleading not guilty. Asshole.

***I'm sorry, but who the hell gave 911 operators the right to determine which calls are fake? Just send the fucking cops or ambulance out! Then yell at the person who might have made a prank call. But that little boy who was doing what his mother taught him by calling 911? And watched his mother die? Because the bitch on the phone thought he was "playing on the phone"??? She could have been saved!!! What is wrong with you? Fucking people in this world, seriously. SERIOUSLY! FUCK!!!!!!!!

Some strange numerology and a welcome!!!!!!*UPDATED*

There is something strange in Daddy's family. All the grandkids have been born on the seventh of the month. All different months, but always the seventh day. The first was Princess Niece- December 7th. Then Little Daddy, June 7th. Little Man, November 7th. Today is April 7th and my SIL is in the hospital with contractions five minutes apart. All of us were due towards the end of each month, but gave birth early...she isn't due till the 18th. Seriously we find it a blessing of some sort. We call the kids [Their Grandmother's] angels...
So for my SIL (who was worried she would mess up the cycle) if you have that baby today, I'm seriously going to have to consult someone about this. What are the chances, really?


***UPDATE*** She has arrived! She doesn't have a name yet, but she was born at 1:30, weighing in at 6lbs 13oz. So welcome to our new niece, pictures will come Monday! I'm so excited!

I've been trying so hard...

to not watch the news about this PRICK. I don't want to know what is going on until the day they execute him. (which, YES, I do believe in the death penalty when it comes to assholes like this who show no fucking remorse for what happened. I don't believe in the death penalty for innocent people)
I remember that day so vividly, I didn't have class until 2 in the afternoon (freshman in college, what did you expect?) but I was up at eight. Who knows why. I was settling down to some do some serious morning vegging in front of the t.v when my channel flicking was interrupted. I thought I had fallen upon a movie- but why would someone make a movie about planes going into the Twin Towers? I put the volume up on the t.v, and I realized it wasn't a movie. I sat there in my living room, frozen, watching as people threw themselves out of windows to save themselves. I watched, paralyzed, as people ran to get away from the falling towers and the cloud that was spreading ominously. I began to cry, loudly. There was no one in the house, but I was calling for my mother. (real grown up huh?) Somehow I found the feeling in my hands long enough to dial my mother's work number, and she was crying when she answered. "Baby, I know...I know..." were her words. "The phones aren't working I can't get in touch with anyone." Half of my family lives in New York. My aunt is a seamstress that works a block away from the towers. What are we supposed to do? How can we get there? How can we know if they are okay? The announcements started- "This isn't an accident." "New York is in a state of 911" That's today's date, that's today's date!!!!! "...terrorists..." "...hijacked planes..." "Mom people are dying! Kid's parents have been killed! Look at them jumping out of windows!!!!!" I was hysterical. I wrapped myself in a blanket and cried as I watched the news all day. I still went to class for some reason, and I remember when I stepped outside there was this deafening silence. It was like everyone just stopped talking, stopped making noise. We sat in class watching the news, crying. There was nothing we could do from here, just wait. Waiting was the worst part. Waiting to hear if anyone in your family is dead. Waiting to hear how many have died. Waiting to see if it would happen again, somewhere else. I didn't eat for days. I was angry that people would do this, that they would ruin so many lives and futures. That they would leave children without parents and parents without children. Family from Puerto Rico was calling us, frantic because they wanted news. I think almost a month went by before we heard anything from any of our family members, one by one they would call and just tell us they were okay. My aunt the seamstress hadn't gone to work that day because she had a series of doctors appointments in another borough. Such a sigh of relief from our side, but the people who couldn't release that breath? The people who were still waiting? The people who would never hear their husbands/wives/childs/parents/sisters/brothers voice saying they were okay?
In the article it says that asshole said "No pain, no gain America." What the FUCK have we gained from this pain? More pain as our soldiers get killed? More pain as innocent lives, more people who don't even want this happening are getting killed? Iraqi families who aren't a aprt of this getting killed? He was smiling while tapes were being played of the 911 calls. He was smiling as people recounted their terror of that day. His defense lawyer is trying to say he is schizophrenic so they won't put him to death.
In the article, a little boy wants to be an astronaut so he can find his Daddy in heaven. It breaks my fucking heart to know that that little boy still has hopes of finding his Daddy, and we know what will happen. I hope he does see his Daddy in heaven, I hope we will see them all again.
I hope they stick that fucking heartless bastard in a building and run a plane into it.
It will never end, I know. It can only get worse. Everyone thinks they are right. The government is all fucked up.
I saw a bumper sticker on a car this morning in the parking lot that is Interstate 95- it read "No one died when Clinton lied." How true, how true. I want one for my car.

A new baby!

Justin Charles is here! 9 lbs 6oz- totally taking my Little Man by four pounds!!! Congrats Melissa!

a memory that just came to me...

I got my license when I was 18. I remember when I was taking my road-test the instructor was making me parallel park. Okay, easy, it was seven in the morning and there were no other cars parked. So he made me reverse in a straight line down the sidewalk. (?) When I put the car in reverse, he started flailing his arms in all different directions, I thought there was something wrong. "I don't want you to use your mirrors." He said. Oh, so by flailing his arms he is blocking my mirrors, oooookay. I did it. And (obviously) passed my exam. I was just thinking that to any passer-by we must have looked so strange, a young girl reversing a car down a block and a man looking like he was flagging down planes.
To this day, I swear that the driver's manual said to use your mirrors when you reverse. But that guy, I don't know if he just wanted a laugh...but he got one from me.

Did Spring change its mind??

It's fucking snowing. Snowing. It's April. And it's snowing. Who can I write a letter to about this?

Because pictures are fun

Little Man loves swings. Here we are at a park across the street from our friend's house. (I say "we" like I'm anywhere in the picture. HA!)

Sometimes I wonder how such a beautiful person came from me. His smile lights up my life, his laughter is contagious. His kisses make anything better. I am blessed to have such a beautiful boy in my life.

Two boo-boo's- one picture

I don't know how clearly you can see the cut on his chin, but I KNOW you can see the disaster the barber did on his eyebrow. Ugh. Last Wednesday my sister decided to take him to the barber shop for a line-up. No problem with me, his haircut will last longer that way. She came to my job to visit and told me not to get mad. Then I see him. Two cuts on his eyebrows (one on each), like kids are doing for "fashion". I wanted to scream. She told me that the barber was using regular clippers (AKA ADULT sized clippers) and when he was trying to shape the sides up off went a chunk of eyebrow. "Okay, so why didn't he try to avoid it from happening AGAIN?" I asked. She said he thought he had a better angle. I want him fired. My baby's eyebrows look like the teenage boys who think they look cute. I hate it. But it was an "accident" so what can I do? I have to wait for the eyebrows to grow back in, and hope my sister is smart enough not to take him back there.
His chin. Poor baby. I was picking him up from Grandma's on Sunday, and Little Man is getting a little heavy for me, so when I reached the bottom of the stairs I put him down. He turned his face for some reason and got scratched with the velcro on his diaper bag, causing him to bleed! I wanted to cry, my poor baby's face! I'm destroying it, first the eyebrows now his chin, people will think I'm a butcher.
He's still gorgeous, though.

Very busy today...

but I did want to say Good Luck to Melissa who is (was? It's the afternoon already???) being induced this morning! Best wishes for her and Spuds, hoping for a boring easy birth for them.