Watch this!

This is SoOOOOOO funny. Watch it if you have a few minutes!
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Crazy/Hip Blog-Mamas
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For all of you...

or both of you that read this blog...
Have a wonderful New Year. I wish you luck, health, and happiness in all you do. Be safe, and don't drink and drive...
Lots of Luv- Me.
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Crazy/Hip Blog-Mamas
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Remembering

I remember my first prenatal visit like it was yesterday. According to calculations, I was about 16 weeks at this visit. (Irregular period and lots of denial made it so late...) I went by myself, I didn't want Daddy there. I was sitting in the waiting room across from this Arabic couple who were very near the end. She was beautiful, clear dark complexion, perfect features, wearing simple black pants and a burgundy maternity shirt. Her hair was covered by a matching burgundy and black...I don't know what you call the cover... She had her hand on her belly the whole time she was sitting there, her husband was uncomfortably reading the Reader's Digest. He looked older than her by a number of years, some gray sprouting on his sideburns and mustache. I was wearing jeans and a T-shirt, couldn't even tell I was pregnant. At some point she and I caught eyes and she smiled at me. "One more week," she mouthed at me. I smiled my response. How excited she must be! In just a week she gets to hold her baby. I was happy for her. They called her name before mine, and she disappeared into the back. My name was called about five or ten minutes later, I was given a gown and the door was shut. I heard a scream from next door. Footsteps could be heard in the hallway, fast paced back and forth. "Get the other machine!" I heard someone call out. More running, tires squeaking as the screaming turned into sobs. My heart was racing, What the hell is going on? I thought. Doctors were being paged to room 6, I heard a man crying out in the hall. "NO! NO!NONONONO!" was what came from next door now, "FIND THE HEARTBEAT! FIND IT!" Tears were forming in my eyes, I knew this was the woman from the waiting room, I just knew it. God, no, why is this happening to her? I thought. "Call the hospital! Get the OR ready," I heard a nurse call out to another. I heard the wheels of a stretcher coming for her. She was still screaming NO! Her husband was still in the hall, I don't even think he was standing up. Some shuffling, I could hear the stretcher as it left through the back to a waiting ambulance. Then silence.
The nurse came into my room, stethiscope in hand apologized for being late. "Got kinda crazy in here just now," she said.
"It's okay," I said.
I was told to lay back, and open the gown. "We're going to listen for the heartbeat," she said.
Deep breath from me. Yeah, that just worked out really well for the woman next door.
She found Little man's heart beat in a matter of seconds, strong and hard. The sound made me cry, I was happy, it was finally real. But I was sad, too. Months ago this was her laying down, listening to her baby's heartbeat, feeling elated. So I cried for the new life forming itself inside me, and I cried for the life that was just lost. I left my doctor's office in a sort of daze, knowing that any time this could all end. No matter what you do, what you eat, how careful you are, it can all end just like that. She didn't know there was anything wrong, she was smiling at me in the waiting room. And it ended for her, just a week before she was supposed to hold her dear baby. That day she held her child, and I can't imagine what she felt, knowing her child will never know her. She won't be able to see it grow and walk and talk....
I still think about her. Every time I went to my appointments, I thought about her. When I gave birth to my Little Man i thought about her. I wonder if she ever tried again.
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Crazy/Hip Blog-Mamas
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Unfit mother- another tale.

I went through some shit yesterday that just about had me running out of the house to a mental hospital. Little Man walks like he's done it for years. He's been walking since he was nine months old. Last night when we came home, he decided he wasn't going to walk, but crawl on the living room floor that I had to sweep because of the goldfish he smashed up yesterday. So goldfish crumbs were all over him- which is normal. But I didn't want him on the floor, I wanted to sweep the stupid floor that I'm tired of sweeping and stupid Daddy was just sitting in his computer chair watching t.v.
"Little Man get off the floor."
Blank stare from Little Man.
"Get up."
He offers me a goldfish crumb.
I want to pull my hair out at this point because we just finished a scream-fest while changing his diaper due to a mysterious rash forming that stung him like hell when I wiped. So my nerves are just a little shot right about this point.
And I yelled.
At my son.
To get off the fucking floor.
Daddy finally pulls himself away from the television to get the crying child off the floor and cuddle him.
I run to my bedroom and slam the door.
I'm a horrible mother. He hates me. He never listens to me. If Daddy were to tell him to get off the floor he would have done it before Daddy even finished the sentence. Daddy and Little Man come into the room where Daddy proceeds to tell me not to yell at the baby because it won't make him listen to me.
"I say things to him in a normal voice and I get no response from him. It's like I'm an adult on Charlie Brown- Womp womp womp womp womp..."
Little Man gets put on the bed and I start to cry because my son will grow to hate me and will never listen to me and every one will look at me and say "She has no control over that child" and I will hate myself because I know it's true.
He used to listen to me. I don't know what it is, now he listens to everyone but me. When did I lose the control? Why does he feel he should behave for everyone but me? Why am I the one with the shit to deal with when he's an angel for them?
He has his days when he listens to me, just like he has his days where he sleeps in his own crib (which right now is every other day).
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Crazy/Hip Blog-Mamas
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Call an ambulance!

Seriously I think I almost experienced a heart attack. I walked into the Cumby's across the street making a bee-line for my dearest fountain soda dispenser, the supplier of my 32 oz. drug of choice. When I actually looked up, I saw him. The maintenance guy. Oh no! My machine broke! I can't have my 32 oz. Pepsi!!!! NOOOOOOO!!!! The blood rushed to my head, I could feel a burst of adrenaline come through my veins. (This is what caffeine does to you!) I got closer, and saw he was repairing the slushie machine next to the fountain soda machine. Whew! Giant sigh of relief. I poured my giant cup-o-sugar, and actually felt bad for anyone who was coming in to get a slushie. If they're addicted (they have a coke flavored slushie) the way I am to the fountian soda, then they will have the small heart palpitations I just had.
Oh well, I have my drink.
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Crazy/Hip Blog-Mamas
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I just couldn't do it.

Little Man didn't get his picture taken with Santa. I'm a horrible horrible mommy. The day before Christmas Eve was the day I hoped to get to the mall before Daddy got out of work. Except I called him to ask him how busy the mall was first, he told me he passed by the Santa line just a few minutes before and that the wait was going to be about two hours. I thought he was saying this just so I wouldn't go into the mall, but I passed by my sister's job before picking up the baby and three of her co-workers who had just come from the mall told me the same thing. Rats. Taking Little Man to a packed mall with lots of things to touch and destroy just to have him sit in a stroller for two+ hours was not my idea of fun. So I stole some of my sister's Christmas cookies and was on my way. Next day- had to work and go to the family's houses for dinner(s) so you already know that didn't go over well. At least I took his Christmas pictures, and for only $13 I might add. Yes, I took my lazy ass to Wal-mart and did them there since we were there buying diapers anyway. The photographer was great, kept him laughing. For his summer pictures he kept trying to get off the table, this time he didn't want to get off it. They don't come in till the 11th, and I can't wait to see them.
I'm tired, and I feel a migraine creeping up on me. I'm gonna have to run to the car and get my Excedrin before it blows my veins!
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Crazy/Hip Blog-Mamas
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What color are you?

YELLOW You are very perceptive and smart. You are clear and to the point and have a great sense of humor. You are always learning and searching for understanding. Find out your color at Quiz Me!

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Crazy/Hip Blog-Mamas
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More cleaning to worry about.

Daddy told me last night we should have New Year's at our house- which translates into "I've already told people to come over but now I'm suggesting it to you so you don't think I made plans without you." I don't want to have New Year's at our house. I hate having so many people there, I hate that I am going to have to stay up later than anyone cause I'm gonna be cleaning up after them. I don't know if he remembers that we have a small child, so it's not like we can have a party like we did a couple of years ago, where everyone is drinking and being all rowdy and no one had any "real" worries. Most of our friends have kids, but those aren't the people coming over. No, the ones that will be there are the ones with no kids who aren't going to have any consideration for my sleeping son. I don't want to be the party pooper, but I don't think I want to deal with that. Maybe if I can find some middle ground-
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Crazy/Hip Blog-Mamas
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He made out like a bandit-

Little Man got some good stuff from everyone. He got this from my sister, got another type of ride-on bike from my mother. I told them they each have to keep theirs at their house for when he goes over, because we already have a ride-on thingie at our house. He got clothes from SIL1, MIL, my mother and sister, and from a few friends. SIL2 got him a new pair of these which he is going to need soon because he is out-growing his current pair. Daddy and I got him a DVD of this guy and this guy. (Trying to get some other influences into his life rather than just that furry red guy who's name cannot be mentioned in his presence unless your ready to sing The Song for a while.) He loves Bear, we actually have a few of his videos. Thomas was Daddy's idea because he liked the train as a kid, so he thinks Little Man would like it. He does. Not as much as Bear, though. Still... We also got him two Sesame Street EDUCATIONAL toys, and he loves them. My mother got him a steering wheel that makes car noises and all types of other things, that one he didn't put down for a full hour. (I don't think I've ever mentioned my son shares my Daddy's obsession for cars.) I can't think of all the stuff he got, but it was a lot. Though no one thought to get him socks, which ironically he needs. (Everyone hates getting socks for Xmas don't they?)
Today I was putting one of his toys in his playroom and I realized how much stuff this kid actually has. OY! When we move it's going to be hard to find a place for all these toys. And to think we are going to go see a much smaller apartment this evening... (biting my lip in a pensive manner.)
I might still be getting my rings this week or next- he said he still wants to dress my finger. Though he keeps telling his friend that I'm going to put him in the poor house. Whatever. It's not my fault they sell your ring so much cheaper! I'll post pics of them when we get them cause I can't seem to find them on line. (Perhaps because they are now a sale item and God forbid anyone advertise those!)

Still having trouble with the stupid sidebar links. I was going to change my template, (actually still debating) but I like the one I chose! Again- if anyone can offer some assistance I'm all ears. (or eyes...whatever)
Alrighty then- I'm gone! I hope everyone had a great Holiday- unlike these poor folks, and these. I can only shake my head in disgust. What the hell is wrong with the world???
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Crazy/Hip Blog-Mamas
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?

What's up with Wal-mart? First the incident with the robbers and a four year old passer-by(Can't find the stupid link, it was here a few days ago) and now this, they are not going for good publicity here. "Come to Wal-mart, risk getting shot by robbers or cops!"
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Crazy/Hip Blog-Mamas
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Antoher Idiot to complain about-

On the desk when I came in was a pile of about 20 envelopes that had a sticky on the top one that read "Need stamps and need to get sent out"
Okay.
In this office the Bossman is the Holder of the Stamps, since he frequents this office more than mine. So I figure Gotta wait till someone with the key to the Bossman's office comes in-meaning the cleaning guy. Instead the Bossman comes in- apparently hasn't left for his trip, and I ask him for stamps which are promptly given to me. (He's a great boss, his employees are just stupid.)
Then later, I'm in need of something in our supply closet, which is locked so the hounds don't take stuff like envelopes and paper home with them. Lo and behold next to the key to the closet IS A ROLL OF STAMPS. She knew the stamps were there, I called her and asked her. Now the question is: IS IT REALLY THAT FUCKING HARD TO PUT A STAMP ON THESE ENVELOPES AND SEND THEM OUT????? Did it make her feel all big and mighty to write that down for me to do?
God, whatever I did in my past lives or as a child that I am being punished for here, please forgive me. I AM SORRY!
Seriously, I can't understand it.
I'm out- I've got two houses of good food to eat at...Gald not to have to work till Tuesday. And if they call me on monday that they changed their mind and are opening, I'm sooooo not answering my phone.
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Crazy/Hip Blog-Mamas
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Can you believe this?

I'm at work. Yes, my wonderful boss who let us go home at three yesterday, and is being nice enough to let us have Monday off, still decided to open the other office today. I work every other Saturday at the other office, rotating with the other girl...and here is why I'm upset-
Spanish people celebrate Christmas Eve. It's huge in our countries, a day like Thanksgiving, where the moms are in the kitchen preparing a meal to feed an army (which is to feed every person in the world coming by the house to eat and exchange gifts) the kids running around because they know that the aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents that are coming will let them open their gifts right away, just to see their reaction. When you're married and your in-laws live in the same state- that's TWO houses full of food and presents you have to visit. My mother is serving dinner at seven, his mother is serving dinner at three. I'm at work until one. That means I have to rush my ass out of here, go home, take another shower (because I didn't wake up early enough to wash my hair and be pretty) get dressed, dress the boy, make sure Daddy is not sitting in front of the t.v playing Need for Speed Most Wanted instead of helping me...
It's hectic. When I was a kid, we never left the house because my mother moved as far away possible from any family we had after her divorce. She was smart.
My boss left for a vacation. The other secretary (who is also Spanish) is probably relaxing at home taking her time doing things, and I'm here, sitting at the desk watching cobwebs collect on the phone because- SURPRISE! it hasn't rung ONCE! Yeah, I'm getting paid, but I DON"T CARE! I'd rather be home calmly getting myself ready for the afternoon.
We went Christmas shopping yesterday. Our first stop was Toy-R-Us. Now I'm going to have to ask myself why we bothered going there at all. The parking lot was full to capacity I had to park in East Bumblefuck. We walk into the store, running through our mental shopping list...for NOTHING. Why was the store open? There was nothing left on the shelves. Literally you would walk down the toy aisles and the shelves were collecting the same cobwebs my phone is collecting. We were out of there in five minutes. BUT not before buying a game of Ms. Pacman for ourselves. Oh yes, the classic Atari game made available to just plug into your t.v and enjoy hours of pellet eating. That's all we bought.
So we head over to trusty old Wal-mart. Can't go wrong with them, they always have something someone needs... So we got gifts for Little Daddy, Little Man, and our neice Little Princess. Everyone else can fuck off, we are poor. Our mothers told us not to get them gifts and we are actually listening. I still feel horrible about going empty-handed to either house so I'll probably make Daddy pick something up for them.
Upon leaving Wal-mart I noticed two cars eyeing me to see which way I was going so they could have my spot (I forgot to say what a good spot I found right near the door) and I turned to Daddy and said "Which one do you think will give me more money for my parking spot?" We laughed, the women in the cars must have thought we were nuts. I should have stuck around to see if they were going to fight for it.
So- no posting for me till Tuesday.
I'll probably be full of stories.
Again to all- Have a great one. Hug those you love extra tight this year.
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Crazy/Hip Blog-Mamas
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And now I'm off-

To all who may have accidently come here, or those who actually seeked-
I would like to wish you a Merry Christmas, Happy Hannukah, Happy Kwanzaa, whatever you celebrate.
Excuse my crankiness, it's hard to be into the season when you can't afford to buy presents for those you love.
As long as I get something for my Little Man, my angel, my life, the only reason I am alive today, I will be satisfied.
Now off I go to fight people for parking and the last Elmo on the shelf...
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Crazy/Hip Blog-Mamas
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Perhaps THIS will make you feel better...

...I should just bring my high school diploma and stand it up right next to my name plate. Maybe THEN you will realize that I have, indeed mastered the art of dialing numbers. Seriously, the guy from yesterday (You'll call me right? right? right?") Actually came into the office today "just in case anyone called or came in." GO THE FUCK HOME! Everyone is Christmas shopping! If you feel inadequate at home, go to the mall where the whole fucking world is right now and hand your card out to the distressed shoppers who are buying everything BUT a house as we speak!
He left a few minutes ago, asking me again to call him if anyone called.
Do you want me to call if if just anybody calls? When my mom calls to confirm tomorrow's dinner at her house, should I call you and let you know? When the annoying old lady looking for the doctor's office whose number is very similar to ours calls, should I call you? I mean, it is after all, SOME ONE CALLING!!!
I think he might have had some sort of muscle spasm when I told him my boss said to go home at three...
His thoughts: "How can he send her home early when I'M on the calendar? Doesn't he know someone might call at 3:05???"
Haven't had one phonecall today- oh except for the one where my boss called. (actually he sent the other secretary to call.)
Not even the fucking annoying chocolate-wanting asshole has called to check his voicemail! And that says something.
Just an hour and a half to go.
Then I can hope that Daddy doesn't get out of work till five so I can go to the mall and take Little Man's picture with Santa before having to pick him up. OH! The picture with Santa is going to go well...NOT! I went to visit my sister at work the other day and a Santa came in to say HI and Little Man freaked out! I mean Santa was just trying to shake Little Mna's hand, and the kid flew the three feet to me and hid behind my legs ready to break down in a fit of tears. So I already know that the Santa pic will be (as mine was at that age) Little Man fighting desperately to get off the strange man's lap. And I will laugh because I'm a horrible person that way.
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Crazy/Hip Blog-Mamas
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Procrastinator Extraordinaire!

Going Christmas shopping today, after work. I'm really only buying presents for my son, so I don't care. I don't know what to get Daddy, or if to get him anything at all because last night we had a fight and suddenly his money became HIS money. That came out of left field, and it pissed me off to no end because MY money has never been my money, it's always been our money. I've never said I wouldn't buy something because it was my money and the item in question wasn't for me. Never have I been selfish like that. And a few months ago when he was laid off, never did I complain about taking everything on...even though it left us broke and now we have NOTHING.
We were supposed to buy our wedding rings for eachother, because we don't have any yet. But i guess that's going to hell. We had these really nice ones picked out, white gold, not gaudy. I'll leave my finger naked, who gives a shit. I hate Christmas.
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Crazy/Hip Blog-Mamas
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Are you seriously THAT stupid?

I work with people who don't frequent the office much. They are real estate agents, always running from one appointment to another, showing a house, closing a deal...what ever else they do. Some just work out of the home. They are the smart ones. To keep things fair, we have a calendar rotation for the month for any walk-in's that would happen to come by. The person- on their day- will get every customer, unless they want to give 'em to someone else. One agent, who hates his wife and is in this office more than I am is on the calendar tomorrow. He comes to my desk and seriously asks me "So you'll call my cell phone if anyone walks in tomorrow? I mean- I'm on the calendar, so you'll call? will you call me?"
Blank stare. No, asshole. I won't call you if anyone comes in, even if it's a person with a briefcase full of cash saying they want to buy the most expensive house on the East Side. And your messages? Well, they will be crumpled up and thrown in the trash and you'll lose every deal you have going on right now.
"Yes. I will call you. But don't I always when you're on the calendar?"
He had no response.
I know how to do my FUCKING job asswipe.

Next one- another guy who EVERYONE hates and I swear he only comes in to piss everyone off when he talks on the phone too loud, and runs to the printer so no one will take his print-outs. (Cause, you know, everyone is out to take his print-outs...) He comes to my desk looking around and asks "No chocolate yet?" Apparently I'm supposed to use my check to supply the office with junk food instead of pay my babysitter, pay my bills, FEED MY SON, etc.etc...
"Nope" I say not taking my eyes off the computer screen.
"You stink," he says as he walks out the door.
NO MOTHER FUCKER- YOU STINK. You just got paid eight fucking thousand dollars for selling a house, which thanks to your OCD is no problem for you. Take your ass to the CVS down the street and spend a couple of dollars and buy yourself some fucking chocolate. Don't even bring it to the office, because then you run the risk of having to share with the other vultures in here, just keep it in your car. Don't tell me I FUCKING STINK because I'm not feeding your chocolate habit.

ugh.

My day was going just fine.
Deep Breath...
Woo-sa.....
Counting to ten...
I can't wait to go home now.
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Crazy/Hip Blog-Mamas
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Jealous Little Man

I don't know if I've ever written about my son's jealousy, and I'm too lazy to go back and check old posts- so if you've already heard this- I'm sorry.
Anyhoo- my son is a jealous bitch. He cannot see me and Daddy hug, kiss, TOUCH in any way. The thing is, usually when the jealousy hits, he pushes ME away from Daddy, and proceeds to hug him. If Little Man is on the bed with Daddy, I will purposely go and hug Daddy or lay next to him, and he really comes over and SHOVES me away. I can't hug his Daddy. So I will hug Daddy again and say "MY Daddy!" which pisses my son off to no end. Sometimes he will laugh, but he still pushes me out of the way and lays on Daddy so I can't access any hugging body parts. We get a kick out of it. Sometimes me and Daddy will pretend to fight over the baby, one of us hugging him saying "My baby!" and the other trying to take the baby away. Little Man loves it. He gets hiccups from how hard he laughs. It's a sight.
Now for a list-
Words Little Man can say clearly:
1. Go
2. No (he hears it so much!)
3. Hello? (While holding the cellphone/remote/shirt/anything to his ear)
4. MA! (always with an exclamation point)
5. Dada
6. Look
7. This
8. Yeah
9. Car
10. Que? (spanish for 'what')
11. Hey

There are probably more that I can't remember right now. I figure I might as well write them down. He says full sentences, but they're usually in Chinese so I can't understand him. My mother says he has said other words in Spanish but I haven't heard them, and until I do she's a liar.
I will probably be back later today. No one is in the office, I'm gonna be catching up on my daily reads (WHICH I STILL CANT FIGURE OUT HOW TO PUT ON MY FUCKING SIDEBAR!) and maybe I'll get inspired to write something else.


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Crazy/Hip Blog-Mamas
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Macktastic Diana Rock-

That's my Pimp Name. What's yours?
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Crazy/Hip Blog-Mamas
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Muah!

Little Man has learned how to throw a kiss. He's always known how to kiss, form his lips make the sound, he actually loves giving kisses. But yesterday for the first time he was sitting on my lap on the computer chair and he turned to me and threw me a kiss- put his hand over his mouth while kissing it. I melted. This boy, who astounds me everytime he picks up on something I teach him, surprised the hell out of me yesterday. He threw a kiss at me. Then he did it to his Daddy. I saw the look on Daddy's face, must have been what mine looked like. I wonder who taught him that, and why wasn't it me?
At least he threw me the kiss. Now I'm going to keep making him do it.

After dinner last night, I released Little Man into his heaven (playroom) where he entertains himself for a while. He came back into the living room with his lego box containing three legos and a hairbrush, puts it down and crawls under his walker. (He doesn't use his walker, I think it's been out of commision since it mysteriously lost a wheel about four months ago. Now we just use it to feed him when we eat in front of the t.v.)(Daddy took off all the other wheels-) Now I'm watching him, curious to see what is going to come out from under the walker...but I hear him grunting. And pushing. He's pooping- IN PRIVATE! When he finished his business, he comes out from under the walker, grabs his lego box and goes to to the play room. I hear some rearranging going on in there (probably changing the contents of the lego box) and out he comes sans lego box. He stands in front of Daddy, kind of leaning on him as if to say "Do you smell this shit? Get me out of it!" Daddy looks at me with the "HOLY SHIT HE STINKS!" face and I crack up. He didn't want to stink up his playroom. I laugh the whole time I changed him- and boy did it stink! Back to the playroom he went, got his lego box and went to bring it to Daddy. Daddy asks him "What's in the box?" Stupid question Daddy. Little Man lifts the box and dumps out its contents at Daddy's feet. "You asked," I said, and turned back to the t.v. Little Man goes back into the playroom and you can hear some crashing-mainly legos being thrown around. Daddy goes and stands in the doorway and asks "What are you doing?" Little Man is too much, he points down and starts saying something in his toddler jumble and he points at his little bike and says something else. Daddy had to turn around to laugh, he later said Little Man's expression was classic teenager "I didn't do it". My Little Man is too funny. I'm having such a crappy day I can't wait to get home and have him throw some kisses at me!
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Crazy/Hip Blog-Mamas
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[shaking my head in disgust.]

This is some bullshit. I can't imagine why she only has to spend TEN days in jail- probation is NOT a punishment. It breaks my heart for the little boy. What kills me is that this is AN UPGRADED sentence, meaning they had given her something lighter before they found out she was high as a kite! Why are the parents okay with this? Someone would have to ROT in jail for killing my little boy! I would go to the jail and visit just to make sure you weren't having any fun and showing you pictures of the child I NO LONGER HAVE BECAUSE OF YOU! I can't believe it....

(12/21/05)> even this guy is getting jail time before his 10 years probation!
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Crazy/Hip Blog-Mamas
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Just when things start to go well...

...Karma kicks you in the ass and says "Fuck You!"
Daddy's car got stolen Saturday night.
I went to my company Christmas party Saturday night (filled with your typical drunk employees embarrasing them selves to no end) and got home about 11:30. I left early- I had one drink and as much as I didn't want to miss the table dances that were coming from the others, I just wanted to be home. The car was there when I pulled into the driveway. Daddy had successfully put Little Man to bed, I saw no visible bruises or scars from their few hours together. Off to sleepland we went...
Wake up Sunday morning, Daddy gets up before me and looks out the window. "They stole my Hatch."
Me: "Stop playing..."
Him: "No, I'm serious, they stole the Hatch-"
(The Hatch is a Honda Civic Hatchback, his new project car which he just got fully working ON FRIDAY!)
I jump out of bed dialing 911 and get all this bullshit before they actually send an officer out. Now- He just got this car about a month ago. A buddy of his was going to junk it but Daddy took it to put a new engine in it and make it purr again. The body needed no work but the buddy had listened to the advice of some idiot who knew nothing about cars and screwed the engine up so bad the car wouldn't even run without creating a new hole in the ozone. In went a new engine (donated from someone else who bought a racing engine for their car and had nothing to do with the old one) and in went new suspension, new tires, lots of work, sweat, blood, and maybe tears went in. Friday we went and put the exhaust on, and the car was almost done. Come Monday we would go get the insurance and registration switched over from his old car.
Yeah.
Suuuuure.
So much work, for someone else to enjoy it for free. Now he's at the police station with what paperwork we had left (mostly everything was IN the car ready for its trip to the DMV) to prove the car was sold to us hoping that he can at least find the shell of the car. We have suspicion the car has been stripped, even though there is no racing engine in it, really the only thing that has any worth are the tires. Everything else is second-hand. How disappointed were the theives when they opened the hood and realized the motor was a stock Civic motor, just from a newer year. Oh wait-Daddy left his expensive jack in the trunk, and all of his tools, and a turbo kit he was going to sell...okay so they might be able to sell some stuff.
Still, what gives people the right to just TAKE something like that, no consideration for the person they are taking it from? What if that had been our family car? They would have gotten the car seat and I would have been screwed. Thank God we still have my car, because at least we can still get to work. If this had been six months ago we would have been stranded. No respect- and all I can say is I hope they are satisfied with what they got, because Karma is a bitch. Someone will do it right back to them. I don't wish it on anyone, because the feeling I got in my stomach when he told me the car was gone...

***UPDATE*** (can you picture the stamping of those words on the screen like on Unsolved Mysteries? I used to watch hours of reruns of that show when I was home with Little Man...)
Anyway- Daddy got a phonecall that someone spotted some dude driving his car... like just driving in it like it was his. I mean- it doesn't help that all the goddamn paperwork is IN the car, but he's driving it like no one would recognize it as Daddy's car. The car may be common but the wheels themselves are the dead giveaway- and the brand new shiny exhaust system that replaced the horrific muffler that was once on there...
Hopefully the cops can get to the poor dumb kid who stole the car before Daddy gets to him.

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Crazy/Hip Blog-Mamas
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Must have eaten shit.

I'm sick. Not cold sick, but there is something wrong. I feel nauseous, I can't eat-don't even feel hungry. I'm not pregnant. My mother is all paranoid telling me I have some sort of virus, and I looked it up and it said it's a "fecal-oral contaminant". I didn't eat shit mom! And I'm very good about washing my hands after I shit- my sister is a dental hygienist and she took this microbiology class that basically taught me to buy stock in anti-bacterial everything. The website also said it could be food born, but me and Daddy ate the same thing the other night and he feels fine. He didn't even shit differently. I couldn't get up yesterday, if I was sitting or standing I wanted to puke- but nothing would come out since I hadn't eaten all day. I only felt good laying down. But I was FREEZING. I had a T-shirt, fleece pants and a hoodie on-covered by a fleece blanket and a quilt and the heat was set to hell, and still I was cold. Daddy had gotten out of work early, he tucked me in, put a DVD on for me, and gave me soup (which I only ate half), made sure my sister took the baby to my mother's house so I wouldn't infect him. I fell asleep after taking DayQuil- only medicine I had in the house. He was wonderful. A couple of his friends came over, they played video games (yes, they are five) and for once they left at a reasonable hour. Daddy went to get the baby at about nine, and his friends went home when he left. They never seem to go home.
And when the baby cried to come in our bed, he got up without hesitation and got him. At five when the baby woke up crying because he was hungry, he got up and got him his bottle. I liked that, if getting sick wasn't so shitty I would do it more often.
I came to work today because I can't afford to miss another day. We are trying to move out, can't do that with no money. But I still feel pukey. I don't think I'm going to make the whole day here.
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Crazy/Hip Blog-Mamas
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Evidence I'm an unfit mother: one tale of many.

I wanted to throw Little Man out the window yesterday. There is something wrong with the stupid washing machine in the basement, for some reason it's not doing its final rinse cycle, and my clothes are staying SOAKED. Haven't told the landlord because frankly, he just doesn't give a shit. (We're hoping to move by January anyway...anybody have an apartment for rent where I wouldn't have to give a security deposit right away cause we're dumb broke?) So I bring the very heavy laundry basket up to the third floor hell in which we live, and put it on the floor in the bathroom so I could wring the clothes out in the sink.
**Little Man has been playing peek-a-boo with towels/shirts/pants anything that will cover his face and get you to say "Peek-a-boo!"**
So into the bathroom he comes, carrying his towel which he took off the rack over an hour before all this, and holds it up waiting for the "Peek-a-boo!". I'm a horrible mother, I didn't notice because I was too busy freezing my hands wringing out clothes that should have been wrung IN THE GODDAMN WASHER. (and don't even get me started on the fucking dryer down there! And they're coin-op!) So he "eh!" at me getting my attention.
So I said it, and went to hang up the kinda-wrung-out-but-not-really T-shirt. I come back into the bathroom and this boy is squatting in front of my laundry basket, throwing the clothes out on the floor. He was looking for a new Peek-a-boo face covering device.
Deep breath from me- these clothes were just washed I don't want them on the floor.
"Little Man, get away from there."
"Huh? Dis?"
"Yes, get away from this."
"Eh? Da-da?"
"No Daddy is not in here, and he is not in the laundry basket..."
"EH!"
"Get out of the bathroom."
and I'm thinking "Why am I having this conversation with him?"
I grab his hand and walk him out of the bathroom, leaving him in the dining area next to the bathroom with about a gazillion of his toys.
And he comes back into the bathroom.
(Can I interrupt myslef to say that this guy at my job is REALLY annoying and he keeps coming by my desk to talk nonsense. And right now he is talking on his cellphone in front of my desk. GO TO YOUR OWN OFFICE BUDDY I DON'T CARE WHO THE FUCK YOU'RE TALKING TO OR WHAT YOU'RE SAYING!)
ANYWAY-
He starts lifting the toilet seat.
"Little Man stop it."
"Eh," and he lifts the toilet seat again.
He is never allowed in the bathroom unless I'm brushing his (4) teeth or giving him a bath- because he unrolls my toilet paper (and eats it) and he puts his hands in the toilet to splash the water. So the door is always closed...
The toilet seat fell on his finger... well not on his finger but it nipped his finger. And he tried giving me the little whine and the sad face, and I looked at him and said "Do you see why I told you to leave that alone?" No pity here, buddy. Stop touching shit I tell you not to touch.
(His finger was fine don't stone me.)

He stole my slippers before I could change into them when we all got home last night. I looked for them for a half hour before I found them- IN HIS TOY BOX. Apparently he put them there so he could play with them later. Daddy just bought me these slippers a few days ago, they are the cushiony (sp?) ones that are kinda fuzzy but not in a tacky way. Little Man loves them and actually takes them off my feet and runs away with them. I love that kid, even when I want to throw him out a window for throwing my clean clothes on the floor. Thank God I clean the bathroom every six months. (joke.)

He thought it was funny to bite his bottle, enlarging the hole, and holding the bottle upside down on my bed (but on Daddy's side hehehe) to watch the milk come out. And when I take the bottle away he takes his chubby little hands and goes over the milk, as if cleaning it up, but only spreading it. Little Man can I remind you about the screamfest I had about that damn washer, please don't get milk on my bed cause it'll take three days for my sheets to dry! (Has anyone ever tried taking a child to a laundrymat? It's impossible. Daddy and I tried it once and it was so I'm trying to deal with the washer.) I think what I'm going to have to do is get Daddy or somebody to take Little Man for a couple hours so I can spend money on washers that actually work...and I could do six loads at once if I have to at a laundrymat. And my clothes will dry in the dryers! Oh the thought!

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Crazy/Hip Blog-Mamas
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Snowstorm Part 3

So we survived the snowstorm, survived the birthday party, we went to bed. I have to work every other Saturday at my office, so I woke up and did all my shit, and went to go take the baby to my mother's house. Now she lives in a condo that has like a community parking area...is that how it's described? Anyway, I noticed the WHOLE parking lot was an ice-skating rink, so I was being extra careful when I took Little Man out of his carseat to bring him upstairs.
Made it up, no broken bones, no dropped baby, no falling WITH the baby...
So my mother made me breakfast, because she can't see me without stuffing food in my face. I swear at times I have to run out of her house- i mean RUN- so I won't have to eat something. Spanish moms- you'll never starve if they have anything to do with it.
So after I eat I go downstairs, and I decide to walk in the snow instead of on the ice.
Then I thought to myslef "Why am I walking on the snow, I just made it into the house with no problem..."
So I step off the snow with my left foot, then bring out my right foot and...
MY LEGS COME OUT FROM UNDER ME AND I BUST MY ASS!!!!!!!!!
Just like they fall in the movies, legs in the air, I fell right on my right ass-cheek.
And just as quickly as I fall I get right back up and get into my car...and then I felt the pain. My hand must have landed on the ice as hard as my ass because that was red and swelling, my ass was KILLING me, and I don't even think I could feel my right leg at this point.
HOLY SHIT I"M PARALYZED! was my thought.
but I got the feeling back in my leg and drove to work leaning on my left cheek and with my left hand only.
I called my sister to tell her about it and she just about died laughing, she was literally crying, she couldn't even make fun of me because she couldn't get a word out.
Asshole sister I have. But I laughed, too. Hard. My stomach hurt along with my ass and hand.
So I go home after work and tell Daddy and he seems to think it's funny, too.
Hmmmm.
And I tell my mother when I pick up the baby.
And she showed concern. See? Someone who cares...
But when we get home Daddy tells me my mother went to him while I was putting Little Man's coat on and whispered "Did she tell you about how she fell?" and he nodded and they stifled more laughter.
Assholes, all of you!
I could have gotten hurt.
And my ass still hurts...
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Crazy/Hip Blog-Mamas
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Snowstorm Part 2

So the birthday party for our niece was NOT cancelled. Even though there was about 6 inches of snow (or more, I refuse to watch the news and I wasn't going outside with a RULER!) Daddy and I were comfortably settled into our couch ready for a night in with movies and popcorn, when I took it upon myself to call SIL to see if the party was indeed cancelled. "Nope, just pushed back an hour..." was the answer I got. We had already bought niece her present (Shark Boy and Lava Girl DVD-we got it in 3D and it came with the glasses!) so I told Daddy "Well, we already got her a gift, we might as well go to the birthday party and give it to her." I was expecting arguments, protests, excuses, I got nothing. He got up and said he would go warm up the car. I wiped Little Man's face and hands (I can't remember what sloppy snack we had given him) and got the diaper bag and bottle and coats and we were gone. The party was being held at Chuck-E-Cheese...heaven for children, it is usually a 20 minute drive for us, but with the snow it took us 45 minutes. (At least the highway was plowed.)
When we arrived I was expecting Daddy and SIL (Now known as SIL1) to ignore eachother, but I must say I am very proud of him, he went up to her, gave her a kiss hello, and POOF! all is well again. Sigh of relief from me. So my other SIL (SIL2) took Little Man and disappeared to the oblivion that is the world of Chuck-E-Cheese. Daddy and I sat at the table with SIL1 and two cousins and talked talked talked talked talked. (Ah, adult conversation, and in person no less!) We sang Happy Birthday Chuck-E-Cheese style (their rendition of happy birthday sucks) and cut the pretty Disney Princess cake. (Pictures coming soon-have to upload them)
and the kids danced with Chuck. Even Little Man got in on the action, he was shaking his booty with all the big kids.
I could have sworn there was more to write with this story, but I guess not.
Except for the fact that Little Man was so worn out he actually stayed in his crib until 6:40 the next morning. Part 3 coming after the boss leaves again! (because I might laugh out loud and he'll think I'm crazy)
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Crazy/Hip Blog-Mamas
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Snowstorm Part 1

I have a few things to write about, but since the post will probably end up longer than Robert Downey Jr.'s rap sheet, I will split it up and speak of each one separately.
What a snowstorm on Friday! It had turned to rain at one point and I thought "Oh, good, it'll get rid of all the snow and we won't have to worry." I was at work, so was Daddy.
Then the real snow started coming.
Holy shit.
Those snowflakes could have been as big as my hand, and it was coming down sooo fast! At about two o' clock my boss called me and said to close shop at three... before the traffic started.
Blank stare.
I have two GIANT windows in my office, each facing a different street, and Bossman, let me tell you the traffic started as soon as those snowflakes started up again. So I sat at my desk for another hour...watching the snow build up on the street, watching as no snow plows passed, watching as my car disappeared with every passing minute. At three I called Daddy to let him know I was on my way to pick up Little Man, and will he be getting off soon, too? "Soon as we finish this one last store...but they have over two-hundred boxes..."
So out I went with a shovel at hand to dig out my car...the snow was covering a good part of my tires. I started it, put on the defrost and about ten minutes later set out to pick up my baby.
Now- I work at a part of town that is just one big hill. We are at the top, so I was going to be going down some pretty steep hills just to get to my son. Have I mentioned that my brakes aren't really that good? Steep hills, pretty bad brakes, snow/slush/ice...I was beginning to freak out before I even put the car in gear.
So down I started. "Hey this isn't so bad." I thought. Then I saw the cars, many going down the hill, but some poor folks who had to make it UP these hills to get home. And they weren't moving. The man in front of me- in an SUV- got out of his car to start helping people up the hill.
Deep breath.
"I'm not getting anywhere unless SUV man moves..."
So I park my car- in the middle of the street, and start helping the man. He was pushing, I was telling the women (Because yes, they were women) to turn their steering wheels back and forth and put the car in first gear or reverse and gun the engine again... We got a few people un-stuck and started our trek down the hill again. I am an emotional person- I cry at the slightest thing. And here I am in the middle of a remake of the blizzard of '78 and I want to cry because the man in the SUV was old and he was getting out and helping people and there were young people all around us just sitting in their cars-watching. So until I got to the bottom of the hill, every time SUV man got out to help, so did I. I didn't even feel the cold when I was out there. He would just look at me and smile. And the people we helped were grateful, and I felt good. The last time I got into my car, I was just so... I don't even know. I just kept thinking "Would anyone have helped me if I were struggling to get up that hill?" In the hour it took me to get from my job to the sitter's (It's a ten minute ride) I could only think "God bless that man." Older gentleman, in an SUV who could have gotten home faster than anyone thanks to four wheel drive...you are an angel.
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Crazy/Hip Blog-Mamas
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Baby it's cold outside...

It's fucking cold out, and it's actually snowing. The dumbass weatherman finally guessed right! (Last time they said we were having a snowstorm, we got an inch-if that- and then the rain cleared it all away!) So this morning we woke up to actual snow, and lots of it. It started to rain about a half an hour ago, but now it's snowing again. I feel bad for Daddy, he is working outside. He works for UPS- and we were supposed to get him some nice gloves yesterday when we went to Walmart, but we forgot. And now his poor fingers are probably turning blue. (Is it possible on dark-skinned people? or do they just fall off?)
Nothing to really write today- it sucks that I had to come to work instead of cuddling up on my couch with some good movies and pigging-out food. I wish I were home! Can we have work cancellation just like we used to in school? Why is my boss money-hungry? News flash- NO ONE IS OUT LOOKING FOR HOUSES TODAY! All the people that are out have dumb bosses like mine, or dumb schools that didn't close that they have to attend or bring their kids to. We should all be forced to stay home when it snows like this-

***Updated- Thank God! I just called Daddy, and he is doing indoor deliveries at the mall. I don't have to worry about going home to a nubby husband! (No offense to those with nubs!) But I don't feel too crappy about him not having gloves on now!
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Crazy/Hip Blog-Mamas
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Only a little bit about sleep, but mostly "Not the Mama!"

Little Man woke up a little when I was putting him in his crib last night. He lifted his peanut head looked around, sighed and went back to sleep. I know he was thinking: "Foolish woman, you're trying again...okay I will play your game, just wait till you settle down in your 'peaceful' slumber..."
When he woke up I nudged Daddy and asked him to get Little Man. He turned and looked like he was about to get up, but must have fallen asleep in the process because he didn't move again. At this point Little Man is having a fit, so I go get him. He slept like shit, punching and kicking everywhere. After my shower, I wake Daddy so he can get ready and ask him why he didn't get up last night. "What are you talking about?"
Me: "I asked you to get the baby, retard."
Him: "No you didn't."
Me: "YES I did! you got like halfway up and didn't move again."
So we went back and forth for a minute, then I laid next to him. Forget it, it's not worth the fight.
SO- moving on...
Our niece's birthday was yesterday, birthday party is tomorrow. Daddy and her mother still aren't talking.
Oy vey... maybe I'll hit Walmart tonight and get her something anyway, in case Daddy decides he does want to go to her party. (They didn't come to Little Man's birthday party, Daddy was pissed.) Here is the kicker, sister is currently pregnant again, with our soon-to-be-niece, and she wants Daddy to be the baby's god-father. Daddy heard this and laughed, apparently he knows how stubborn they both are and there is a possibility that they may still not be talking when New Niece is born. It's beyond ridiculous already.

OH! I can't believe I forgot I wanted to write about this...
There was one day that I was picking Little Man up at the babysitter's, and as I was walking out the door he waved at her as usual but then he said "Bye Ma." My eyes almost POPPED out of my head. And she laughed. Sorry, Lady I don't find the humor in this. [His babysitter is Daddy's aunt, she is a widow, has no grandchildren but LLLOOOVVVEESSSS kids. And she lets us pay her like fifty bucks a week if it's all we have.] So I looked at her and then at him, and I gave the smallest attempt at a laugh and left. I was fuming. And Daddy thought it was funny, too. I"M HIS MOTHER! I AM MA! Not the babysitter, not my mother, I. AM. HIS. FUCKING. MOTHER.
My sister takes him on Wednesdays, she is lucky enough to have a flexible enough schedule that she can take days off if she needs them. So she made it a point to take every Wednesday off so she can spend it with Little Man. Yesterday she had an appointment at three, though and dropped him off at the babysitter's until she got out of her appt. When she took off his coat she says he ran to the babysitter, threw his arms around her and said "Hi Ma." OH COME ON! WTF?????? Even my sister felt it, the jealousy. She called me as soon as she walked out of the house to tell me. She says "He spends a lot of time with me and he has never called me Ma." I just shake my head. I know it's what he hears when her sons are around, but she could encourage him to call her something else. My mother tells me my sister called her babysitter Ma and called my mom the babysitter's name. (THAT better NOT happen!) It shouldn't even matter because when I walk through the door at her house at 5:15 every day, he doesn't care about anyone but me. He runs to me, whether he is eating or playing or just laying down, he sees me and doesn't want to let me go. (How easily he forgets just the night before I was turning purple and ready to pull my hair out because he was unrolling the toilet paper after I told him not to play with it!) He knows I'm his Ma, I know I'm his Ma, apparently I'm going to have to wait for him to be able to tell the difference between his own Ma and someone else's Ma.

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Crazy/Hip Blog-Mamas
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Again about sleep...

Is this whole blog going to be about sleeping?
I should rename it- Sleeping in Elmo's World...or in my case- Lack of Sleep in Elmo's world. Little Man woke up at 12 last night. I was standing over his crib for about 45 minutes trying to get him to go back to sleep. He would trick me, that little bastard, he would lay very still and his breathing sounded all even, but his ass would be awake and if I tried to walk away he would start shuffling around. All he wanted me to do was stand there, because there was a point that I wasn't even touching him, but when I tried to walk away..."eeeehhhhh...."
I tried our computer chair (the closest thing I have to a rocking chair) for another half hour...I couldn't hold it anymore, I was tired. I need some sleep in order to be somewhat approachable at work. So again, I gave in and he slept in our bed. I told Daddy (when I woke him up at two something, getting in the bed with Little Man) "This has to stop." I got a mumble and some shifting as a response, I guess he doesn't mind it. BUT I DO!!! I don't want my two year old in the bed with us, or our three year old... I don't want a kid who cries at the thought of having to sleep in his own bed! I don't know how to get him to stay- the other night when he slept through the night, he didn't even have a bottle before going to sleep and I figured he would wake up hungry. But he didn't. I don't know what I did differently that night, but I wish I could remember so I could do it again...
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Crazy/Hip Blog-Mamas
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Sleeping and fighting...

I knew it was too good to be true. On Friday night, he came into our bed at 2 (earlier than usual). He spent Saturday night at Grandma's, he woke her up at three, but she said she gave him a bottle and he went to sleep again until six. THEN he wanted to go to the bed with her, and stayed still (not exactly sleeping) until about nine. Sunday night- I dont remember. Last night- he came at four, at least a little later than ususal. But last night Daddy and I had a fight, and when the baby was in the bed he shoved himself all the way under Daddy, causing Daddy to be very close to the edge of the bed. I was glad, because at least I still got to sleep comfortably.
Until the bad dreams started.
Daddy had a whole different life before I came along and changed everything. Out of that life he has a four year old son that I love to death, we will call him Little Daddy. We don't get to see Little Daddy much, his mother hates me (well, US) and is jealous of the fact that Daddy wanted an actual future with me, and is doing great in life in general. When he was with her, he was a bum. Neither one of them worked, they lived off the welfare checks she got. (Nothing wrong with welfare-but they were both very capable of working, just too lazy to do so.) He had no motivation whatsoever. They broke up- he met me, things went better for him right away. He got a job, he was happy, she is still not working and living off welfare and child support, and the rest is history. Now-
I dreamt I was at a friend's house, visiting with her and her family. I left the house and I noticed a red car parked in front of my car and Daddy was in there with Little Daddy's mother sitting on his lap. I started freaking out, screaming at him and asking questions. At one point I asked him "Did you sleep with her?" and he wouldn't answer me, and he finally said "Yeah..." and I started to hit him. I was slapping him punching him scratching him and it was like he didn't feel a thing. Everyone disappeared at this point and it was just me and him and I was still trying to hurt him, and I was crying which was making me more angry...
I woke up and I wanted to hug him, wnated to know everything was okay even though I wanted to hit him, too. We were still angry when we went to bed last night, and whenever we do that I have horrible dreams. We don't fight very often, but when we do it's like a competition on who could ignore who the longest. He spoke to me first this morning. I still haven't told him about the dream.
Do I bring those dreams on myself? Just because I'm pissed at him?

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Crazy/Hip Blog-Mamas
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I know I'm probably jinxing myself as I write this, but Little Man slept in his crib last night. YAY!!!!!!!!!
I had put him down in a onesie- he gets really hot at night. He woke up at about 12, i went and got him and I sat in the computer chair in the living room and just rocked with him. I had Jay Leno on, lights off, and he went back to sleep almost right away. (Should I be thanking Leno?) But I lay him back down in his crib- and not a peep out of him all night-just like before. I actually woke up about 3:30 and thought he had fallen off the bed or something, then I remembered "He is in his crib!"
When I woke up this morning I peeked into his room just to make sure he was breathing (something every mother does-no matter what) and he was sleeping like an angel, mouth slightly open, hands in fists.
Yesterday we went to Grandma's house- my mother's. She has her Christmas tree up and Little Man hadn't seen it yet. I told her the tree would be on the floor before Christmas Day. While we were there, Little Man would stand in front of it and just stare at it, but after a while his little hand was reaching out...I think he pulled three ornaments off by the time we left. He would run away with them, I think he even threw one in the garbage. (Could it be a sign to get new ornaments, MOM?)
He did pretty well, but I still say that tree will be on the floor. She will take her eyes off him for a second, and he will pull on an ornament too hard...
I'm laughing just thinking about it. I'm awful.

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Crazy/Hip Blog-Mamas
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Help Me!!!

Okay, so I'm sure nobody even reads this- but in the event that someONE does I need help.
I have been trying to figure out how to put the Crazy/Hip Blog-Mamas thing on my sidebar... I've been copying and pasting and cutting and pasting...and NOTHING comes up on my sidebar!
I also want to be able to put other blogs I read on my sidebar...but I can't even do THAT!!!
call me stupid, but this is not easy. Should I change my template? Is there a magic word I'm not aware of?
If anyone can help me, it's appreciated...
I want to be able to put other blogs on my page...
I want to know how to do this shit!


P.S- Little Man fell asleep on me last night while we were on the couch. I put him in his crib, he stayed there until........2 fucking 30.
It's like clockwork now. I should just set my alarm for that time and go get him before he cries!
I was almost foolish enough to think he wouldn't notice...
He slept tucked under Daddy last night which gave me a small break but I still didn't sleep. I think at one point I woke up because he kicked me in the eye, but I'm not sure if I was dreaming. Trying again tonight.
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Crazy/Hip Blog-Mamas
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Welcome to this Shitty World!

Welcome Baby Boy S!
My friend K and her husband S had their baby boy last night, 8lb.7oz little bundle of joy. She is the one who was having contractions in the beginning of the month, yes, she JUST gave birth.
Her due date was yesterday, she delivered about 3 a.m.
I'm so happy for them, they had gone through a miscarraige last year.
I told them before they were pregnant with Baby to take Little Man for a week, it would make them buy stock in birth control. But they didn't want to listen. Now they will know why i'm always tired and crabby (even though some of that is from work) and why I've sworn to Daddy that we will NEVER have another child.
So congratulations to K and S, we are happy for you!
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Crazy/Hip Blog-Mamas
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He Just Can't Do It All Night Anymore...

Sorry this one's about Little Man- not Daddy! Ha.
And I'm talking about sleeping in his crib. He refuses to sleep in it past 2-3 a.m. The other night we had an episode with him where he woke up, I tried giving him his pacifier, patting him on the butt (he likes that), singing... nothing worked. So I finally gave in after about 20 minutes, cause dammit I was tired. I bring him into our room, it only got worse. (Have I mentioned he was crying this whole time? Screaming at the top of his lungs like someone was killing him.) He will usually lay down with one of us with no problem, but he didn't even want to be in our room. He didn't want me or Daddy touching him, which is ridiculous because HE-LLO! We are the only ones here buddy! After a half hour more of this incessant crying, he was breathing funny. You know the breathing after your parents smacked you and you cried too hard...so we decide to put him in the bathtub. (Still crying.) I put bubbles in the tub, figuring "Hey, he likes bubbles they might calm him down."
Yeah.
Right.
Still crying.
He had pooped fine that day. Didn't eat anything out of the ordinary. Only thing we could come up with was a bad dream. But for him to push us both away?
So we get him out of the bath- he almost stops crying...still has that breathing thing going. I put his pj's back on, try to give him a bottle-it went airborne.
So we lay him on our bed. Still kinda crying. But now he's too tired to keep fighting, and he falls asleep between me and Daddy. About an hour and a half later I get up to get ready for work...
So now, he wakes up crying every night. Somewhere between two and three he decides he just can't be in his crib. I'm too tired to fight, I need some sleep before going to work.
But he only does it to me.
If he spends the night at my sister's or mother's house, he falls asleep with no problems, and sleeps all night. (Like he used to with us.)
At the babysitter's, he takes his two naps daily with no fights.
I just don't know what to do.
Sleeping with a toddler is impossible. Especially mine. He moves everywhere. I will wake up with his arm on my face and look to see his other arm thrown on Daddy. Or he has to sleep like an H- where Daddy and I are sleeping "normal" and he is between us, head tucked in my tummy, legs tuck in Daddy's tummy. We have a queen size bed, but my son is tall. He takes up a lot of room when he's all stretched out. Last night he felt I didn't really need my pillow and manuevered himself to sleep ON IT. We try moving him to a more comfortable position, but to no avail. He is only comfortable when we're UNcomfortable.
If you're reading this- please don't suggest Ferberizing- I think it's cruel. I can't just let him cry for X amount of time... besides, the people who were soooo behind that method are starting to realize it's crap.
I don't know. Maybe he'll go back to the crib soon...
I hope.


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Crazy/Hip Blog-Mamas
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Rant about Piss

Why is it that men can't pee in a toilet correctly?
Now I don't have this problem with Daddy at home, he was raised in a house full of women, he was trained before I got him.
But at my job...we have one bathroom for the office. I am the only female there, save for the personal assistant of one prick, but she's hardly there. Now- I went on one of my 32 oz. soda induced bathroom visits only to find that the floor was wet in front of the toilet. The toilet is no where near the sink, so it could only be one thing...gross... it's someone's PISS! I maneuver myself so as not to step in the...puddle... and handle my business.
Of course, I still had to clean it up, but thanks to the Swiffer Wet Jet I didn't have to go near it...
Now, fast forward a couple of hours to another 32 oz. soda induced bathroom visit...there is piss on the goddamn floor again! Why me?
Why is it impossible for grown-ass "professional" men to actually get all their pee in the toilet?
Now, I know there's that moment of "shaking it off" when you're done actually peeing, but that can easily be done over the toilet. I know for a fact, Daddy does it.
Or at least, if you can't pee in the toilet like normal people, clean it yourself... don't make anyone else do it- it's your piss.
I have enough piss to clean at home with Little Man, don't need to do it at work...




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Crazy/Hip Blog-Mamas
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Thanksgiving

A day late and a dollar short-
Happy Thankgiving.
With all the hustle and bustle I've gone throught the past few days it's a miracle I still have hair on my head.
I am thankful for my wonderfull Daddy and gorgeous Little Man, because without them I wouldn't be able to say I have a family.
I am thankful for being alive- God knows I've been awfully close to opening those gates a few times.
It's hard for me to say too many things to be thankful for since we are going through a few difficult things that don't seem like they can get resolved...nothing to do with us personally but it affects my family. I have been thrown into a whirlpool of depression it's like I'm drowning.
We are thinking of relocating, thinking it may be the best to help us get out of crappy situations. It's not a "running away" thing, it's more like a "let's get away from the shithole in which we live, and start fresh."
I'm hoping come April we will have decided what would be the best thing, and if we do decide on relocating, then Little Man-you will grow in a whole different atmosphere.
I'm saddened at the thought of being away from my mom and sister (who both love Little Man oh so much) that I think that would ultimately be the deciding factor in our relocating.
I just don't know.
Oh- and Happy Birthday Daddy, I love you.
You are now my age, so if you call me old from now until my birthday I can kick you, it's fair game.
Being around you and Little Man is the only time I don't feel this weight on my shoulders, thank you for being born, thank you for coming into my life, thank you for being who you are. (Even though I wanna beat you like I was your mother sometimes- like when you don't fix my car when I ask...but i won't get into that.) But really thanks for loving me and the impossible bitch that I am. Only you can understand that one, because even I hate myself at times...
So today is your day, enjoy.



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Crazy/Hip Blog-Mamas
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Rant of the Day

Why did he have to call me? Stupid-ass man that he is, Daddy had every good intention of just saying "Hi." But that's where he went wrong. Because one of his buddies bought him something he needed for his "project car" as a birthday gift, he felt the need to call me to tell me about it.
Not what I want to hear right now ASSHOLE.
Me: "my fucking car has a goddamn oil leak.
FIX IT!"
Him: "We need silicone for that, we can't just put the gaskett on without silicone because then we'll just have to open everything back up just to put the silicone..."
Me: "Get silicone!" (whispered yelling at the office)
For some reason or another he can't get the FUCKING SILICONE AND MY CAR WILL STILL HAVE THE GODDAMN OIL LEAK WHEN I GET OUT OF WORK.
Me: "Fine, let the fucking car blow the fuck up. WHO CARES?!?!?!" and I hang up on him.

It just happens to me all the fucking time, everyone's needs get put before mine, and when I need something- which is rare for me to ask anyone FOR ANYTHING because I'm too GODDAMN PROUD- I always get pushed aside. I can never have anything when I need it, but GOD FORBID i tell anyone (NOT JUST DADDY-EVERY FUCKING ONE) that I cant do something right away, I'm the FUCKING BAD GUY!
I wish I knew how to fix the goddamn oil leak, I would do the shit myself. I can't afford to pay a fucking mechanic a million dollars to fix it, that's what Daddy's for, he is CAR SMART.
Obviously not very WIFE smart...
Stupid Ass.
I hope his piece doesn't work.

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Crazy/Hip Blog-Mamas
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Must...Stop....Drinking....

I really have to stop drinking this huge 32 oz. cup of soda. It's not even a cup, it's a jug. I work across the street from a Cumberland Farms, and they have "Any size fountain or frozen drink for 69 cents!* plus tax". 69 cents plus tax makes a 74 cent soda- because why would I be buying a frozen drink when it's 30 degrees outside? A 74 cent 32 oz. soda compared to a $1.27 20 oz. soda seems like a better deal to me! The 32 oz. jug (with ice in the soda) lasts me all day, small caffeine fixes here and there, whereas a 20 oz. soda would get warm, and I would stop drinking it before lunch. The only reason I say I have to stop drinking these things is because I have to pee like a fucking racehorse! I swear, I have to pee a gallon by 11 a.m! (I just returned from said pee break...)
Everyday I say I'm quitting the soda (it is an addiction, not just the caffeine-but the 74 cent price!) everyday I tell the girl at the counter it's the last day she will see me. And everyday when I throw the jug away, I swear it's good-bye Cumby's forever.
Yeah.
Right.
And then I'm back at the Cumby's the very next morning.
I'm hopeless!



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Crazy/Hip Blog-Mamas
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More questions than answers

No one can have an accident like me. I am officially going to start working as a crash-test dummy.
My car accidents are usually just other people being magnetized to my car somehow, and it always seems like they always hit the drivers side. (Which is why Little Man's car seat is behind the passenger side...)
My worst accident had to have been the Explorer in Jan '04.
I was given a Ford Explorer by my father in July 2003, sort of trying to make ammends for his not being around throughout my childhood. I loved my Dora- that's what I named the truck- Dora the Explorer. I could make a trip to the beach with my closest friends, fit all the blankets and coolers and still be able to sit comfortably. And miraculously, nobody had to move in the time I had the truck.
January 25, 2004 my mother asked me for a ride to the bus station, she was going to Boston for a business trip. (I lived with her at the time, Daddy and I weren't sooo serious.) So I take her to the bus station, say good-bye and drive off. I stopped at a CVS on my way home and realized I didn't have my house keys-why I didn't have them connected to my car keys is STILL beyond me.
So Daddy calls me while I'm getting into the truck, we had plans to get together later in the day. I tell him "I can't talk right now, I have to try to make it to the bus station before my mother's bus leaves to get the keys. I'll call you as soon as I get home." I get back on the highway , it was a sunny Saturday morning, and there was actually no traffic. So I'm doing about 60-65 when I see this black car in front of me, going VERY slow...so i start slowing down, but when I'm closer I realize the stupid car is STOPPED on the fucking HIGHWAY. I had to swerve so I wouldn't hit him- I didn't want to damage Dora! But the truck grew a brain of its own and I remember the truck spinning on a two-lane highway and I was facing the wrong way...
the truck smashed the metal guardrail, I hit my head on the steering wheel with the impact and passed out.
I could hear someone screaming and hands pulling at me, shaking me, someone asking "Is she alive?
Is she moving?"
I open my eyes-or tried to...all I saw was blood everywhere. I look out my windshield and see a street- not highway, a city street...
"What the-" I'm thinking...
There is a woman standing next to my truck, dressed in a black cocktail dress. A man standing behind her in a tux, he was the one asking her the questions.
Her: "Honey you just had an accident, don't move-"
Him: "Don't you think we should get her out-"
Her: "What if something is broken-"
Him: "What if the truck sets on fire-"
Me: "OH MY GOD-"
I start freaking out. I finally realized the blood was coming FROM ME!
Him: "I've already called for an ambulance-"
Her: "Is there anyone we should call-"
She doesn't wait for an answer- mainly because I'm starting to hyperventilate, she grabs my cell phone from wherever it had fallen and just pressed talk. My last phonecall was Daddy- it autodialed him. She told him what happened and I'm still trying to figure out why the hell I'm looking at a city street- I was just on the highway- but my head is starting to hurt, and there is still blood coming from somewhere...
I think I passed out again because suddenly I'm in an ambulance and I'm getting needles and oxygen and questions...
There is a cop standing over me asking me if i'd had anything to drink, and there is the lady in the cocktail dress telling another cop that the truck flipped at least four times down the embankment...
I'm trying to process this but my head hurts sooooo bad...
I just want to sleep.
And I do...
I wake up in the hospital to nurses and more needles and blood pressure cuffs and-WAIT! what happened to my clothes?!?!
Finally everything slows down and someone is putting some type of glue over my eye "to prevent scarring so you can keep that pretty face."
And then I was left in a small room on a stretcher with a vomit bin.
My sister walks in, I could tell she had been crying but she smiled through it and said "God, if you wanted attention you could have just called me, you didn't have to do all this."
I laughed, but it hurt so bad.
"Everyone is here, Daddy called all of us-do you want them in here?"
I nod.
The nurse says only two people can come in at a time, Daddy comes in by himself.
"Nice face." He says and pushes my hair away from the glue.
"Thanks, I worked on it all day."
He hands me a hand mirror the nurse left on a table, OH MY GOD THERE IS A BASEBALL GROWING OUT OF MY FACE!!! I DON'T HAVE A RIGHT EYE! i LOOK LIKE I WAS IN A FIGHT WITH MIKE TYSON!
I shove the mirror back at him.
He doesn't know what to say, so he offers to let a couple more people come in.
Wonderful friends- someone told me he made it to the hospital before the ambulance did.
I go home the next day, arms full of icepacks for my swollen-shut eye.
My mother was still on her business trip- no one told her what happened so she wouldn't worry.
Daddy stayed with me the whole week.
We took a drive on the highway where I crashed and I wanted to cry when I saw how mangled the guardrail was...
How did I survive that?
I wasn't wearing my seatbelt...
All I have is a small inch-sized scar right under my eyebrow...
We went to the towing place that had my truck to sign the paperwork for it to be junked...the whole front left side was smashed. No windows broken, no squashed roof. The tow guy said it must have landed on its tires everytime it flipped because the truck was about two feet closer to the ground and the suspension was shot.
But I went down an embankment...how the hell....?
I'm still left with more questions than answers.
Daddy and I still talk about it to this day, lots of what-if's.
That was when we decided we would be together.
Two weeks later our son was conceived.
He won't let me get another truck, now I drive an Accord...
I wish I knew who the lady in the cocktail dress and the man in the tux were, I wish I could thank them for stopping. What if no one had seen me? There was construction being done on the street I landed on, no cars were allowed in the area, and it was Saturday- no construction workers.
I feel bad because obviously they were going somewhere important and I got blood all over them. (The EMT told me they ended up taking me out of the truck.) So to the lady in the cocktail dress and the man in the tux- Thanks. I could have died. And my son would probably not be here...
I love you without knowing you.
You saved me without knowing me.

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Crazy/Hip Blog-Mamas
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Commercial Idea for Lego

I had to come back and share a classic moment I witnessed betwen my sister and Little Man...
My apartment has three bedrooms- the third bedroom is presently being used as a storage area for all the things that we have left to unpack, and now all the toys Little Man received for his birthday that are not in use- or just not put together, everything is "some assembly required"!
My sister had yet to see all the goodies Little Man got for his birthday, since some gifts have been trickling in throughout the week. So I gather Little Man and tell her to come into the room.
One of his gifts is a big box of Legos. Loud, colorful legos.
Well, I opened the box and Little man took out two or three legos and swung them around the air, singing. Meanwhile my sister is trying to tell me a story.
Little Man gets tired of the legos, he wants to play with the car, so he throws the legos on the floor.
Me: "Little Man, gimme the legos."
Blank stare from Little Man.
I point at two of the legos near me and say "Can i have those?"
Smile from Little Man who attempts to pick them up only to succeed in squatting in front of them and pointing at them.
I pick up the legos, they were pretty close to me, but there was one that was not within reach.
"Little Man can i have that one?"
He offers me the car.
"No Da-Da," (Another nickname for him) "I want that toy."
My sister feels he behaves better with her so she asks him for the lego.
Blank stare from Little Man.
I laugh. And wait. She is now determined to prove he will bring her the lego.
Her: "Little Man, give Titi (spanish word for auntie) the lego." and points at the lego.
I'm still on the brink of vein poppage from holding my laughter. His facial expression was hilarious.
She looks at me and says "Watch-" and she asks for the lego again.
I guess Little Man had had enough.
He walks over to the lego box, all the while staring at my sister, lifts it up and proceeds to dump ALL the legos on the floor.
And then he squats down and with his chubby little hand starts to scatter the legos all over the floor.
I could have died laughing. My sister turned all shades of red and she was trying hard not to laugh...
Little Man then takes his car and walks out of the room.
I died.
I haven't laughed so hard- and she was shocked! "He never does that to me, it's only because you're around!"
I laughed even more- she always says how well-behaved he is when he is with her. (She babysits him every Wednesday.) and I said "That was nothing!"
Then he walks back into the room and picks up the one lego we wanted- and threw it.
And he's only one!
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Crazy/Hip Blog-Mamas
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